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[–][deleted] 115 points116 points117 points 7 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
24F: I'm not too proud to admit that all of these things are a sure way of not only capturing my attention, but focusing my attention on you and not consider other suitors. OP, you've some serious insight.
[–]paddywacknack 58 points59 points60 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
So basically introverts are fucked.
[–]canarywocoalmine 48 points49 points50 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is a misunderstanding of what introversion is. I've become an outgoing introvert. I still need to get away from a group, be alone to recover, but can be very happy with groups, parties, in clubs, public speaking, etc. The true defining attribute is extroverts recharge in social situations, introverts recharge more in isolation.
[–]paddywacknack 16 points17 points18 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I know, I was feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for snapping back to reality.
[–]canarywocoalmine 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well if it helps, this boy who was so shy he had to memorize his order at McDonalds to not mess it up, has made over $150k a year for a decade (in an inexpensive city), has visited nearly 100 countries, banged 2 chicks within 48 hours earlier this year, I'm 49 and just figuring this part of my life out, they were 32 and 33, so more than 15 years younger and hot, and too much other stuff to list.
Keep challenging yourself and growing and celebrate the accomplishments, and give yourself a break on the failures, you'll learn to be social.
[–]paddywacknack 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks dude. I'm working hard to face my social fears and progress is slow ,but nice to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Its interesting that those who struggle the most seem to do best later on life. That could just be survivorship bias but, there is some truth in finding strength in adversity.
[–]revyn 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ope there goes gravity
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't believe introvert vs extrovert stereotypes. I say this because I was a really socially awkward, anxious and shy guy a couple years ago and by going out more with friends, stepping out of my boundaries I became an extrovert. Social contact and events are the most anticipated things in my life right now, I love getting to know random people and lately I found that I subconsciously started initiating discussions and fun things when I'm at a party or at an event, etc...
Sometimes I do wish for alone time, but everyone does. Sometimes I just want to stay at home and watch series all day. Sometimes I want to go out with friends. Sometimes I want to have the biggest party of my life.
So yeah I truly believe that if you categorize yourself as "introvert" you are just reassuring it. You can change this but only if you truly want to (if you don't, that's fine as well - I really wanted to be more social, didn't do it because I had to and it helped me tremendously with self-development).
[–]paddywacknack 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yea honestly I was just feel sorry for myself. Hard to get out of that mindset sometimes.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's alright man I've been there. Changes come one small step at a time.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day. Thank you :)
[–]btsGlory 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now kiss /s
[–]youlovethisish 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why does that make you not proud? Lol I don’t understand what’s shameful about it.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's more of me acknowledging that I follow the specific guidelines OP laid out in the post and don't stray from it. I'm not too proud to admit that I can be won over by a guy that does some or all of those things of the above listed attributes. Many people are proud that they are different and can't be won over by seduction techniques or basic behaviors. I'm not one of them.
[–]youlovethisish 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s sad that that’s the social consciousness. If people were more self-aware and in-tune with their standard biological nature and accept it, instead of fighting against it with narratives like “I can’t be won over by seduction techniques,” people would be much happier.
Sad that human nature is considered something to be fought against as opposed to embraced and leveraged. But glad that you have a decent amount of self awareness.
Don’t be not proud! Be happy :)
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]MLPRTEA129 130 points131 points132 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
F - respect for stan lee
[–]FE7TER 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
F
[–]renovatio93 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AudiblePlasma 16 points17 points18 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wow funny how my social anxiety makes so many of these harder than they should be
[–]Indigoism96 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re not the only one my dude. Reading this spikes my anxiety levels off the chart man. I hope you’re doing well.
[–]blizzardchaser 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
32 F with social anxiety here. Thinking of a guy trying to tango with me makes me want to just stay home.
[–]injesterstrust 44 points45 points46 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Generally a very good post I'd say, although
if said ugly guy has his shit together he can blow the hot guy out the water
This is kind of wishful thinking and taking it a bit far lol
If a girl thinks a guy is really good looking (thus her attraction is super high) as long as he doesn't completely spaz out and run 'negative game' then some ugly dude trying to tease her and spin her around etc is gonna be fighting a losing battle.
I've got a few very good looking friends and feel like I could write a book on what i've seen in my many nights out lol
[–][deleted] 7 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]injesterstrust 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Oh believe me, I can relate lol
I have had 2 friends who are both male model calibre, and the things i've seen!
I've seen one of them accidentally 'block a girl in' with his bad parking. When he exited the club, she was about to confront him, saw how handsome he was and came onto him HARD, and then he banged her in his truck about 3 minutes later!
I've got tonnes of stories like that involving both of them. Girls will open them many times per night and give compliments and flirt OUTRAGEOUSLY!! lol
Your mate sounds like he has more 'game' aswell than my mates to be honest. Both of these guys run 'normal guy game'. They're not nervous around girls (as you'd expect when you've had a lifetime of girls drooling over you) but neither has 'game'. But it doesn't matter. If attraction is high enough (which exceptional looks give you) then you just need to not completely fuck it up and you're good to go!
[–]Inifity 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Man this is just depressing to read Lol, i can count on one hand the times girls have come up to me on clubs/bars
[–]injesterstrust 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
chin up. I've been 'approached' by girls maybe 3 times in my life, and i've been going out multiple times per week for about 14 years! haha.
[–]Jacob_961 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look at Mr. Swave being able to count on one hand. I can count in one finger.
[–]TheRealEtherion 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Man this is just depressing to read
It depends. If you're not looking for smash and dash materials, then Women who open their legs easily are inherently low value. Have you ever lost your shit because someone else got a prostitute? I don't think so. Now imagine someone getting one for free.
Imagine your girl banging a random dude within 3 minutes of seeing each other. Not a fan of that shit.
[–]Jacob_961 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Women who open their legs are not low value. Please correct yourself. Being highly sexual and being low value is not the same thing.
[–]TheRealEtherion 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Everybody is highly sexual. That doesn't mean anything.
Men are gatekeepers of commitment while Women are gatekeepers of sex. Just like how a Man who commits very easily is perceived (rightfully) as low value by Women, the same is true in case of Women who provide sex way too easily. Go read up the basics.
[–]Jacob_961 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You're wrong, respectfully. Very old school thought. It doesn't apply as much anymore. The best women I've been with, I've slept on the first date. There is very little correlation between prudishness and being a high value person. Tone down the condescension also. Thanks.
[–]TheRealEtherion 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well yes it is old school however that doesn't reduces it's credibility. Some things are constant. Also, there wasn't any condescension anywhere. I just don't have time to write a book's worth of knowledge. For starters you can read this, https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/www.thefemininewoman.com/casual-sex-harmless/amp/
Also look up the quote "Men are gatekeepers of Commitment while Women are gatekeepers of sex" on Reddit. Have a good day sir.
[–]Cynical_Doggie 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
oof, well rekt my good sir :)
[–]Rennir 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How about a Reddit post?
[–]averis1 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Could you give us some solid examples if you don't mind?
I know looks do matter a LOT.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A girl here, nope. He's actually right about that. I can have one gazillion dudes, so he better treat me right, i can do better. And a less attractive dude IS better.
[–]Variasvezes 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol u are funny
[–]Jacob_961 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have more of a chance with the less attractive guy and the less attractive guy will treat you better to compensate. For a night club fling with a guy you will probably never see again, you'll go for the model guy rather than the above average guy 99 times out of 100.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For a night fling i need somebody who's going to try to impress me, not some guy who thinks he can just wave at me and have me drop my pants. Attractive guys are almost always easy as well, so my chances are still pretty goddamned high. The club might be full of other pretty girls, but most of them aren't interested in a sloppy one night stand so it doesn't really matter. I'm not saying i prefer less attractive guys, I'm saying that as long as they're attractive enough to have sex with, their behaviour matters more. Why have sex if it's going to suck anyway?
[–]OatsForDays 47 points48 points49 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I always struggle with putting "high value" women on a pedestal.
I am talking to two girls, and I treat them differently and act differently, and I know it's wrong.
Girl A: Medical student - 23, smart, pretty, down to earth. Shes blond, with blue eyes, and about 5'7. Thankfully, I havent outwardly put her on a pedestal, but internally I have. I plan fun and interesting dates for us because i really want to make a good impression. I also second guess myself more than I'd like to admit.
Girl B: Undergrad student - 20, great personality, very attractive. 6 feet tall (I'm 6'2), dirty blond with green eyes. When I hang out with her, I am 100% genuine. We have fun together and she likes me for me. I dont care about impressing her, I tease her, and I dont plan unique dates. She really likes me, and she is just happy to spend time with me.
I need to find a way to start treating girl A the way I treat girl B. Easier said than done.
[–]Hankerton14 15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
tssss. world wide problem here. Takes quite the discipline not to put them on a pedestal
[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Remind yourself of her flaws, picture her sitting on a toilet with runny shits and a hangover after a night of drinking. Basically realise that she’s just a normal regular human while reminding yourself of your strengths :)
[–]OatsForDays 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's so nasty that it just might work lol. I'll give it a try when we go out friday!
[–]SmoothPrimal 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People are all the same women or men.
Never overcommit or put someone on a pedestal because you show weakness by being overly attached.
Only people with nothing else going for them overly commit to a person and that is not just according to some seduction tactic. Its life.
Never put all your eggs in one basket. Never depend on one person always leverage to where you can survive emotionally, financially, psychologically and socially without her.
Psychological independence means you dont put all your pride in having a hot girlfriend. Great men are not great because they have a hot gf. They are great because they are good at someothing. Attractive, successful and talented people naturally gravitate towards great men.
Financial independence is self explanatory. But also do not use your finances to fill a void in who you are. Do not use your money as a way to make up for being uninteresting. Learn how to be interesting. Do not use money to make up for tue fact that you cant make human connection. Learn how to be socially adept.
Emotional independence means you are in charge of your emotions regardless of what happens. This means you dont cry like a bitch when your gf threatens to leave you.
[–]Angela2208 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Make babies with Girl B, they will go to college for free on a basketball scholarship!
[–]OatsForDays 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol good point. My son would probably end up being like 6'6!
[–]piginpoop 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
ugly guy has his shit together he can blow the hot guy out the water quicker than Mia Khalifa can blow 4 well hung men
so be gay
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now you’re gettin it!
[–]Prikachu182 9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't forget to whip out the Wii bowling
[–]Flintblood 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Everything you suggest here, except for the part about having solid boundaries (and frame), requires living your life - and acting a certain way to please ‘her’. This is especially true for the advice on being emotional rather than factual, and anything that requires entertaining her like she’s a kid at a birthday party.
But otherwise, this is a great review of classic PUA material.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t really agree but I see why you’d say that. Really and truly it’s about being your true self and ditching the pussy you’ve always thought the world wants you to be. Although I do see the irony of the idea of adopting those traits to be attractive to women
[–]Flintblood 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s ironic because if you hold true to your self you may not want to appease and entertain. If the shit test is ignorant I’m calling out the ignorance for what it is instead of ignoring it or using ‘amused mastery’. Sometimes there’s a lot of gray area between shit tests and the example given where she pokes fun at a disabled person, or says something truly naive. Real shit tests I would play with are the ones that are simply fun negs. I have an example from IRL that I plan to post here soon.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro the post covered 13 ways to make a girl want you, it doesn’t mean that you have to do all of them. They’re just 13 ways to build attraction.
And if your way of handling shit tests works for you then keep on keeping on.
[–]Skiigga 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is the thumbnail J Dilla lol?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s me, it’s pulled in my pic from my YouTube channel
[–]toastmaan 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Achieving self happiness makes you more attractive? This almost sounds too good to be true
Prove me wrong
[–]KND_DNK 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
" Do you communicate in a way that’s dry, formal, professional and uninteresting? Are you serious at all times? Do your conversations sound like job interviews? Do you only talk about sensible topics and in a monotone way to boot? " - Can someone elaborate on this and how to counteract? How do you make the conversations more fun (when meeting a girl for the first time / early stages of knowing each other and later on as well), thanks :D
[–]truecrisis 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
use her for your entertainment. use everyone for your entertainment. learn to goof off. do it to yourself first. look at someone around you right now and think something silly about them in your head. just start goofing off. then once you get used to doing it to yourself, start using other people as the subject of those thoughts.
you will make mistakes, and piss people off at first. but you will calibrate and learn. the most important thing is that you are having fun, so even if you make mistakes, as long as you are keeping yourself entertained you still benefit.
[–]KND_DNK 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That helps me understand some people I met before, thanks :D
[–]XDarkstarX1138 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This only matters maybe for generally the average guy out there but you don't have to worry about it or much else if you're very attractive. If you're attractive, regardless of this girls will want a piece of you...
[–]piperson 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are lying to yourself in order to get out of actually doing something to make your life better. Please do yourself and everyone else a favor and get off of this old, tired train and get your ass into a gym.
[–]aznology 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly just take the first tip and push it all the way the rest should come easily.
[–]californiawaves23 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While I believe these all to be great pointers, eye contact is huge, especially when you are on a date 1 on 1. I’ve called girls out for poor eye contact and while they first seemed offended, they told me later no guys ever done that and they respected it.
Good luck out there guys.
[–]Ti7ANEUM 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As far as I’ve seen:
Men are attracted to appearance, Women to actions and behavior.
A short, clean man acting dominantly is far more attractive than a tall, typically dominant man who’s not assuming his role.
Pretty much
[–]codewizbambam 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whoa, that's pretty much modern Pickup in short. If I might fill in a missing link, a reason why girls shit-test, is that they are just playing the teasing game back because they know it works on them, so guys, don't misinterpret this.
[–]FrozenRyan 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great post! I realized I've been doing a lot of those things without even knowing how effective this is.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SupremeDesigner 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
have a hug ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
Just cut ties with her. Say you don’t want to talk to her anymore. The act of cutting tires with someone isn’t wimpy. It’s the opposite. Say what you want to say and do it with confidence
[–][deleted] 7 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]ladyinrred 9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I’m a woman and disagree with this post. Talking to women isn’t that damn hard. You go up to them and say hello. If they don’t want to talk to you, then move on.
[–]truecrisis 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
talk to them as if you are talking to a bro. it really isn't hard.
"hey bro, what you reading?"
"hey bro, did you see that cashier? she was so annoying"
"hey bro, nice shirt"
"hey bro, <looks at newspaper> isn't this election shit tiring as fuck?"
[–]nathynwithay 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
And think about how they didn't you want to be around them and how you wasted their time. Women have to deal with subpar males all the time, so did the interaction add another unwanted encounter.
[–]averis1 -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Talking to women isn’t that damn hard. You go up to them and say hello.
Yeah.. NOW it's up to you to lead and start small talks and make the convo fun.. something you likely never had to initiate as a woman.
If it isn't "that damn hard", maybe girls can walk up to the guy, chat him up, ask for a number, set up a date and pick him up, pay for the meals and make him have fun..
instead of screaming "Why hasn't he called me! Is he insecure?!" on r/relationships.
No need to tell us "I'm a woman." Your lack of awareness gives it away every time.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kartul3 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean i'm sure we can all agree that some girls really do want to be put up on pedestal (saying this with love). Let it be their upbringing or social interactions or whatever else may be the case, there just are girls like that. Personally I wouldnt even pay attention cause like you said, your personal coffee time is YOUR time to wind down so do whatever helps you wind down, dont pay attention to some random bullshit going around.
Now ''I don't have to talk to every Woman I lay eyes on.'' this part I 100% agree on and I think lots of guys get confused aswell, sure as hell I was confused about this. Cause we get alot of information out here on how to pickup, talk, act and all that good jazz. But in all honesty you DON'T need to do it to EVERY girl you see, just the ones you think and feel you want(now if you gotta catch em' all then thats another story) and sometimes just seeing is better than the actual getting.
[–]DivineDaze 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Have other girls in your life " I couldn't agree with this more. I'd been stuck on one fwb that I've been seeing for the past few months. Didn't do too much talking to other girls while with her, she kept me content enough. Ended things with her a couple weeks ago bc she was wasting my time, ended up smashing 3 other girls in a week. Reluctantly, I told her about it when she came over last and has been behaving a lot more to my liking lately. Very sexual now, hitting me up more than before. Definitely helped with that situation as well as boosting my confidence and just having a fun time
[–]jimmyguapo 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
great great work man. would love to join the brotherhood as well
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Which one bro? WhatsApp of Telegram?
[–]jimmyguapo 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
whatsapp
i'll pm you my number
[–]Itsametoad 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is there actually a brotherhood? Because i would like to join lol
Yes yes and yes, send me a DM
[–]Twinkiepocalypse 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This is just so much reading. I’m just going to try being myself and I think that should be good enough today.
[–]kurtaxl 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good Luck
[–]Nebulesbians 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good enough for me too, bud. Myself is all I can be. Have a wonderful day.
[–]youlovethisish -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol people want results without putting in the work
Money!College degree!
Lamborghini!
Big house!
Job you hate!
Being a bully alpha male!
How about no. A lot of this makes me cringe. How about simply not being a douche and treat girls with common decency since they're only human beings. There's no point in seducing ~any~ girl, try to find someone who is right for ~you~, which takes a lot of trial and error. It's not easy for anyone.
[–]beDeadOrBeQuick 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
love you no homo!
Thanks :)
[–]Slideboy 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
read will to power. No need for seddit anymore.
[–]Sexxyluvr 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Love it thank you, need the refresher
No problem :)
[–]Jacob_961 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Rule #1: Be attractive.
Rule #2: Don't be unattractive
[–]NightKnight_CZ 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just read the title " 13 years old girl like you "
[–]chalkcandle 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I've jut turned 13"
[–]ineedavacation4[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This all sounds like too much work
Who says you have to do all of it?
Sorry for apologising :)
Too hard to do
[–]Berryisland88 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is almost why i fell in love with my crush. Is there any ver for girls? I would love to read
[–]ReddiThor -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Leykis 101
[–]Conor_Niggregor -2 points-1 points0 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why do you feel the need to buy upvotes?
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