The Paralysis of Analysis and the Fear of Rejection- Why You Are Lonely and Jacking Off

MrMemper · 2019-12-19T12:07:44+00:00

TLRRead if you want: 1) stop watching porn 2) work to improve everything in your life outside of women 3) talk to more women in every environment you’re in

I agree with everything except the part about messaging girls on apps. This is still in the comfy place of our phones. No dating apps. No instagram (unless you get her insta AFTER talking to her IRL)

Beyporesulthan · 2019-12-19T13:48:35+00:00

This is gonna be my last thing I'll read in research. I'm gonna come back with a fuckin success story!

notathr0waway1 · 2019-12-19T15:28:10+00:00

This post is going to be very succinct

... goes on to be a two-screenful wall of text

anthonytoronto92 · 2019-12-19T17:59:29+00:00

The only thing I disagree about is the guy going to the gym twice a day VS the guy going 3 times a week. Rest is when you grow, going twice a day everyday is too much for your body. IMO.

blessedwiththecurse · 2019-12-19T12:25:18+00:00

Such a great post! Damn.

hernanthegoat · 2019-12-19T14:32:42+00:00

I shed a tear reading this

EarthWarping · 2019-12-19T15:18:51+00:00

The only person who will fix your life is you. Not anyone else, just your own actions.

zulumaster12 · 2019-12-19T13:45:16+00:00

This is quality. I hope this post blows the fuck up.

Goldenpanda18 · 2019-12-19T17:14:12+00:00

Just to add, fellas lay off the porn because it really doesn't do us a favour and just isn't healthy either

Goruto1334 · 2019-12-19T19:27:42+00:00

Really gets old reading all the same advice about getting better with women. Every single time it’s “the cure is simple, go out and talk to 5-10 women every day/week/month! Your lack of effort is harming you!” Which isn’t entirely wrong, but if you think someone who is terrified of women is going to just read the post and go talk to multiple women when they were starting at 0 is unrealistic, that’s advice that comes from someone who doesn’t understand what it’s like to have a fear of approaching/talking/attracting women. You try telling someone who is terrified of Spiders or heights to go out there and find the biggest spider to hold or go skydiving right then and there.

It’s a process, simply comes down to them not having confidence in themselves, my advice would be to ignore women in the sense that they aren’t your sole goal in life, do other things that would make you feel more whole. Always wanted to be muscular? Get in the gym. Always wanted to learn about a subject? Read a book or take a class. Always wanted to dress better? Learn style trends and make your own style.

Bottom line. Women hold all the power in dating and are the gatekeepers for sex and they wine let ANYBODY through those gates who isn’t confident in who they are or what they do or have done. Work on yourself, making women like you is out of your control, focus only on things you can control.

2019-12-19T13:53:05+00:00

Amen

allthecoffeesDP · 2019-12-19T16:24:41+00:00

I like the post, but it’s not succinct, I was expecting succinct and didn’t get succinct.

jiciki · 2019-12-19T15:47:36+00:00

I agree with you. I still won’t go out and get laid because it’s easier said then done but you’re right.

water_prince27 · 2019-12-19T15:05:49+00:00

Really good post man!

2019-12-19T15:08:18+00:00

Dammit I wish I saw this post a few hours ago. Thanks for posting this!

marsIsSafe · 2019-12-19T18:37:07+00:00

Legendary post

Vainistopheles · 2019-12-19T16:33:58+00:00

Talking to 5 girls a week on Friday nights and not getting results? Increase that number to 10 girls Friday night and 1 girl a day during the week. Still not happy with your results? Talk to 5 girls a day every day and 20 on Friday night.

"Talk to a hundred girls a day and 500 on Friday night! Talk to a thousand girls a night!! Talk to infinity girls!!! Buahaha!"

... creep her the fuck out ... Nobody will give a flying fuck other than you.

I can think of at least one other person that would care.

2019-12-19T18:17:53+00:00

None of this applies to me but I read it because I saw gold lol.

A pretty decent read. Wasn’t anything profound, just basic common sense but that’s what I feel many on this sub lack, at least when it comes to having a successful love life.

Shit ain’t rocket science dudes. Prioritize working on yourself and always be improving. Get a sense of direction. Cultivate your world and you’ll realize that your happiness is entirely dependent on you, and the women you meet in life will simply be apart of it. My pseudo constantly repeated two cents.

2019-12-19T18:46:43+00:00

I agree with most of this post, except the idea that your porn or drug consumption doesn’t matter.

I think the loads and loads of anecdotal evidence I’ve seen indicates that quitting porn and addictions do a lot in terms of your own self improvement, and women like determined, goal-oriented men.

eyalp55 · 2019-12-19T18:58:52+00:00

Jokes on you! I am on a 90-day abstinence period from masturbation, porn, and women

2019-12-20T02:49:24+00:00

Succinct: expressed in few words 🤔

bearstrippercarboat · 2019-12-20T06:49:55+00:00

What a faggy title. Do you ever refer to yourself as "coach"? LOL

hahahaha9211 · 2019-12-20T12:33:03+00:00

100% you’re delusional as hell if you think women just agree to go on dates from you talking for 30 secs. If you’re hot as fuck probably but if you’re not you will never get those results AT BEST you’ll maybe get a number if she feels like it then she’ll just ignore your attempts to meet up. You can approach a million girls a day if you want but if you’re Ugly as fuck you’ll never get a yes to a date.... that’s just reality. I approached hundreds of women and the only thing I got was rejections and fake numbers 🤷🏻‍♂️ Also the saying is “you get OUT what you put in”. Y’all need to quit with that “it’s this and that” because it’s not lol ugly people don’t succeed with women (no not your average looking dude who hasn’t cut his hair lately I mean deadass ugly Freddy Kruger Jason vorhees type shit) and 5/10 and up do that’s just life.

RagsAMillion · 2019-12-19T15:24:07+00:00

Needed this. Thanks

AfterPaleontologist2 · 2019-12-19T15:25:28+00:00

You're so fucking right

swifferhash · 2019-12-19T15:33:45+00:00

This man speaks the truth

BitsAndBobs304 · 2019-12-19T18:53:32+00:00

Ah yes, the "become a jaded robot so you can cold approach hundreds of strangers in a short period of time and eventually get one to give you a number / say yes" approach.

2019-12-19T17:15:02+00:00

I'm a firm believer that even the most debilitating form of FOR can be completely erased with just one or two approaches. That's how it was for me at least. I really never approached women. A handful of times I guess I did over a number of years. I guess deep down if I'm being honest it was a fear of rejection. But literally my first approach was so exhilarating it erased any fears I had

Tulip5045 · 2019-12-19T17:49:45+00:00

So, women on dating apps are whores? But every guy who "hasn't seen a warm hole"....blah, blah, blah.....really, ur a winner dude.

priestofghazpork · 2019-12-19T18:55:20+00:00

No, scheduling issues are why I'm lonely and horny right now. Fucking Christmas fucking up my booty calls!

ernst_starvo_blofeld · 2019-12-19T21:15:05+00:00

At 27, I have yet to build that solid rotation and I hate how being a late bloomer has got me confused and stagnant at times.

2019-12-19T21:21:29+00:00

Jokes on you; I have a date soon and I'm still Jacking off.

BaconMeTimbers · 2019-12-19T23:01:15+00:00

I was rejected by 3 women today, I was busy monday-wed so no time for leisure, rejected by 10 women last weekend, as well as the weekend before that, basically 0 success on OLD.

If I had to estimate, I’ve cold approached at least 150 women this year. At least. What did I get? Three first dates and lots of offers for platonic friendship. That’s it.

HolyKnightPrime · 2019-12-20T00:52:10+00:00

I tried but I’m too much of a pussy. Who cares, it’s all pointless anyway.

GeeseCTM · 2019-12-20T16:48:52+00:00

840 likes almost from people who don't even have enough sense to go back and look at the guys history and realize that he's completely full of shit. 💩💩

This is called blind leading the blind and is a major reason that the dating, pickup and seduction community is in the toilet and why so many of you guys end up frustrated and angry after following advice from so-called experts.

4 days ago the guy doesn't know how to get a date.

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eb7ivs/how_to_ask_a_girl_a_out/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

5 days ago he "he's single, doesn't get out much, doesn't have many options and overthinks things".

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eav212/am_i_over_thinking_this/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Today he's the guy you are getting your tried and true advice from. He's the champion of the dating universe. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I wish this was masf so that this post could get thrown into the reading impaired section for people to make fun of and ridicule.

Come on people. Some of us really do want you to succeed but you got to stop falling for these shysters.

2019-12-20T18:19:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-12-19T16:53:35+00:00

comment to come back at it

5fives5 · 2019-12-19T21:46:45+00:00

This is a really good kick in the nuts. That was motivating as hell

sneakernerd · 2019-12-19T22:28:13+00:00

very well said...this is an insta-save

gtrman571 · 2019-12-19T23:03:59+00:00

Great advice but dating apps aren't only for guys afraid to approach, plenty of guys who game also use them - It's fine to use them but yeah you should make the bulk of your interactions in person...

ManyCountry · 2019-12-19T23:50:12+00:00

Good post

ripples67 · 2019-12-19T23:51:21+00:00

Haven’t had sex since my divorce 4 years ago, moved to Hawaii have 3 acres n a lovely home. I’m broke now but no mortgage payment, just been so depressed and honestly ready for the end. I needed this today mahalo!

Least1ngenuity · 2019-12-20T00:21:33+00:00

TL:DR

Play the numbers game. get rejected till youre numb to it. and other generalized thoughts from this sub like stop jacking off and work out.

Lord_Goose · 2019-12-20T01:40:44+00:00

This was a great post. Thank you for taking the time to type this out. My mind helps conquer things emotional like approach anxiety by logically talking it out like you did.

I'm not gonna be some beta soy boy, I'm gonna find and take what I want.

2019-12-20T05:12:14+00:00

Imma just read this everyday until I get a girlfriend

vesieco · 2019-12-20T19:12:22+00:00

Great post, saving this.

SpanishIntuition · 2019-12-19T16:46:33+00:00

Watching you guys talking about women and dating is like one of you watching me and other fitness models talk about computer programming and app development. If one of you super smart guys (and yes you guys ARE super smart) were to come up to us and offer to help, we'd probably act all defensive and stuck up. We talk a big game but we're too scared to bruise our egos and look stupid. Most of us know a bit of HTML and we rely on Wix.

In a way I can see the correlation. You guys don't want to hang out with us because you're afraid we'll make fun of you. And even if it's done in a positive way, because of your lack of experience you could end up feeling hurt.

Sort of like how you guys could joke about me not knowing the basics of computer programming and I could end up feeling weak and stupid and bruised egotistically

Many of you give really good advice but you guys fill it up with all this Gunk that you make talking to women seem like rocket science.

Also the other thing I've kinda noticed indirectly is that you guys aren't interested in having sex with strippers or fitness models. You guys want to have sex with those chicks who dress like anime characters and constantly rail on about how their vaginas smell or how a guy "looked at them weird" on twoxchromosomes. You guys want to date crazy cat ladies and metoo landmines basically don't you? No wonder you're all so anxious and nervous and on edge about approaching people.

The chicks you guys are into are certifiably insane social retards. Believe me I've actually talked to some of them. I touch them on the hip and say hi and they freak out. They don't know how to hold even the simplest conversations. And they usually have a group of ultra feminine anorexic guys orbiting them who basically smell like.. bean curd and anus. ???

So why bother with these types of women? I mean I get that everyone has a type but guys c'mon These chicks are Not hot!! Do you wanna know why it's easy to pick up and have sex with strippers and fitness models? Because they LIKE guys who are direct and heterosexual and masculine and male.
Walk up to them, grab their hand, pull them toward you, look at them the way guys like me look at them. You can actually be a Dude with them and they Like that shit. Stop talking to chicks who go on reddit.

Here try this easy pickup routine. You: "Hi, can I ask you a quick question. Do you know what reddit is? / watch game of thrones/ big starwars fan / played that latest video game"

Girl: yeah why?

You: "just curious. Have a nice day." Proceed to walk away very quickly.

Girl: um.. what's reddit? / Not really into that weird scifi fantasy stuff / video games? I'm an adult. Isn't that stuff mostly for kids and autistic people?

You: oh God tell me about it. Autistic people. I mean who even gets those people? With their Computers. And the pew pew pew.. uh. Hey I Love your dress!! And is that.. dolce and Gabbana?

GeeseCTM · 2019-12-19T17:03:55+00:00

Stopped reading after you don't know what a neg is or what it's supposed to accomplish, and you try trying to act like you know what you're talkin about and that's "why you're trying to trash an neg." But what it's actually showing is that you have no grasp of the fundamentals or the basics.

Usually the guys who are terrible at game, but want everybody to think that they're awesome at game, do things like nitpick the technology that works because they actually misunderstand it, don't know how to use it, and then instead of saying, "I just don't know what it is or how to do it or why to use it," they blame the tech as bad.

Negs work if you use them how and when and why they are supposed to be used.

Push pull, game, micro calibration, all of that stuff works. It works fantastically.

but guys have to actually know what the hell they doing with the stuff and why they're using it and what it's for. It's that simple. Don't blame the technology because you don't understand how to use it.

These are the kinds of posts that make me cringe and why so many guys stay stuck.

Title	The Paralysis of Analysis and the Fear of Rejection- Why You Are Lonely and Jacking Off
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	861
Comments	147
Date	December 19, 2019 9:02 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ecqpxj/the_paralysis_of_analysis_and_the_fear_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-paralysis-of-analysis-and-the-fear-of.1486477 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486477

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