Is there an "ultimate" reason for a girl to stop being interested in a guy she was really interested in?

ttt3214 · 2020-09-30T17:14:56+00:00

I think a big reason is women have so many options that they can postpone dating at any given moment. She changed her mind because why not. It's like when rich people burn money for fun. They can do it because they have virtually unlimited amounts.

Scrollerer · 2020-09-30T16:32:49+00:00

Another guy.

bopbas · 2020-09-30T16:32:03+00:00

Maybe she didn’t feel a connection. Maybe she found out a guy was seeing more than more girl, maybe she found out a guy wasn’t over his ex

Dr4ugr · 2020-09-30T17:56:22+00:00

I think, when a girl is immature she no face you and starts to ghosting.

Remember that they have other options. And eventually choose the one who makes feel good anytime anywhere.

It sucks because you really want more, but 4 her you was another funny guy, just an option. And it's ok.

You must learn about the things you do wrong and avoid em in your next hunt.

Lickety-split19 · 2020-09-30T19:03:29+00:00

Just because date went well doesn’t mean both parties leave wanting to continue.

I’ve been on plenty of first dates with someone whom prior to meeting I had interest enough in to go on said date. The date went well in terms of I enjoyed myself, guy was nice, respectful, good conversation and even sometimes some affection.

However, sometimes that all it was, a nice date with a nice guy. Sometimes there wasn’t a spark, didn’t feel a similar vibe, in person I just didn’t feel what I felt in the pre-date chatting.

In my case I would very quickly (typically same day) let that guy know in an honest but nice way that I wasn’t interested in pursuing further. Most of the time they were appreciative that I gave them a heads up.

A lot of people aren’t the same way, they don’t like to think they are hurting someone’s feelings, they don’t want to come off as mean, they don’t like confrontation etc etc. so they’ll make excuses, and then possibly even just ghost. It’s not the best avenue to take but it happens.

Most of the time it’s doesn’t mean you did or didn’t do anything wrong.

ttt3214 · 2020-09-30T19:57:16+00:00

It could be that she got bored. The initial thrill wore off. Could be that she lives for the thrill of the chase.

Andrewfairlane · 2020-10-01T01:07:17+00:00

Relationships are incredibly disposable nowadays. Girls are being hit on all the time literally because of social media and apps. It’s not like it used to be where you actually had to go out to meet people and be out there. So.. people growing up in this kind of environment don’t really value connections or relationships because they can just get on an app and find one.. they are also not focused because they have many different options stimulating them at any given time. This is just in my experience. Usually ghosting happens because they met someone else or there was TOO much stimulation from you and they got sick of you. Girls like mysterious and what they can’t have. Maybe you were too available and she felt like you were always there. OR.. she has another relationship or person in her life. This is a big one too. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s not your fault, she’s not someone you really want if she acts like this and keep looking for someone else.

SnooMaps4650 · 2020-09-30T16:45:34+00:00

Difficult to tell without knowing anything about the situation.

RedGille · 2020-10-01T16:44:23+00:00

the fact that you are troubled enough by it to post, shows you are taking it the wrong way.

there are no reasons in this game, only feelings, so stop trying to figure it out and move on. or better yet, talk to more than one girl and accept the fact that some if not most will flake on you.

and as a hint to what happened, you can take your own behavior during the date, but then again, sometimes you do everything right and she will still ghost.

801pnpcouple · 2020-09-30T19:21:58+00:00

Did you fuck her?

anon3451 · 2020-09-30T22:33:48+00:00

Neediness is a killer

TraditionTraditional · 2020-10-01T01:25:41+00:00

Have you ever tried straight out asking her?

Stephanieninn87 · 2020-10-01T13:03:58+00:00

I promise you. It has nothing to do with you. If it did, she would put more energy into why she doesn’t want to date. It has to do with where she is and what she wants at the moment. Which she is sorting out. Dating is no joke. Everyone has options. Not just women but men too. It’s hard to not take it personally but again, it has nothing to do with you.

axe122 · 2020-10-02T01:26:05+00:00

You were initially a potential sexual partner and she no longer views you like that. You probably acted plutonic on the date by being overly respectful and not making the date sexual or seductive at all. A girl will sleep with a guy they don’t want to date but will not date a guy they don’t want to sleep with. Even if you don’t sleep with her on the first date she has to want to after it’s over. You were probably also a little needy and showing to much interest in her. That worked when she was all about you but once you acted plutonic she lost interest and you messaging her the day after the date is now a turnoff.

This0neTime23 · 2020-10-02T03:45:06+00:00

It sounds to me from what went down that you were plan B for her and then plan A suddenly became available. It's even possible if she's manipulative that she did it to make someone else jealous and used you as a means to an end because it's really fucking weird to me (a girl) to MAKE OUT with someone then get cold about them days later. It doesn't work like that unless you two made out because you were pushy, but you said she was all over you so I defer to my suspicions above. Hope this helps! Sorry it happened to you, I'd be pissed/hurt. Next time don't take actions at face value, wait to see some sustained reciprocity/enthusiasm. I wish you luck, don't sweat this one - she drew you off sides

Vi7us · 2020-09-30T18:07:24+00:00

No, there is not ultimate reason. Is a group of reasons. My first suggestion is to focus in yourself, how to develop yourself in different areas. And be emocionally independent.

Always are other guys, always. And if she take the time to share it with you, is already a goal.

And try to have a lot a reference of experiences. Because if she feels like you are emocionally attached to her, probably will run away.

I hope this works for you. And wish you the best. Also try to look for videos in YouTube about this topic.

Chao 👋

ninichandesu · 2020-09-30T19:07:34+00:00

either another guy, or she got scared that what you had going on could lead to something more serious and she’d rather push you away than be upfront. it probably doesn’t even make sense to her.

mystikalmix · 2020-09-30T19:25:08+00:00

Women weigh their options. Men don't...because most of the time we don't have options

Back in 2017 I started a job and one of my coworkers sent me an email saying I was cute and asking if I'm single. We went on a few dates but one date I slipped up and told her about my last fling with a coworker🤣. Then she asked me if I was a player or something. Of course that was our last date. We were still coworkers though. She was with a new guy like a few weeks later.

Sucks because she was probably the finest girl I ever dated.

ttt3214 · 2020-09-30T19:25:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

shanuv12 · 2020-09-30T20:17:05+00:00

Why you care at first place. Is she the only woman in the world,?

ttt3214 · 2020-09-30T20:23:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AnthonyAValera · 2020-09-30T20:25:14+00:00

its called sexual availability. this can be affected by logistical, social, as well as emotional reasons. especially emotional reasons. one day they’re available, and the next day they aren’t. that’s why its important to fuck them ASAP. there is a certain time frame (aka window of sexual availability) to fuck them. and that’s assuming if she was even sexually available in the first place (assuming u are touching her as well as kissed her). but if u haven’t established a physical dialogue, she prolly friendzoned u and just went on dates with u cuz she was prolly bored, lonely, or for attention. girls will do that to nice guys. did u touch her, kiss her or anything ?

starry_eyes222 · 2020-09-30T20:45:36+00:00

From my experience as a female it could be that she had other options or there was something that just changed her mind. That's the thing with dating these days. You can think things are going great, that the other person is really into you & then suddenly they become disinterested.

I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me as a female & I do get a pretty positive reaction from the opposite sex. But it comes down to the fact that people have different intentions/agenda. For me I think it was that most of the time I was looking for something more serious & the guys were looking for something casual. Also, I've seen this a lot & I hate to say it but I've seen a lot of people who simply just want what they can't have. A lot of of them like a chase & once the chase is over & they know they got you, they lose interest.

Girls can be like this too & I have been in situations before where I liked a guy but if he seemed too eager to date me it came off desperate so I became disinterested. I will say most of the time if that happened I wasn't that smitten with the guy to begin with. My interest was usually luke warm & on the fence even if I may have seemed interested. The important thing is to not blame yourself. You didn't so anything wrong.

My advice from what I learned is if someone ghosted you just let it be. No use in trying to rectify something that wasn't there to begin with. You went on a few dates I'm guessing then just let it go. Going to her for questions will only make the situation worse. Move on and find someone who's sure about you.

When I stopped wasting my time on wondering why someone stopped contacting me (unless we've been dating for a while thats different but even then), lost interest and ghosted me I became a lot happier because I realized my self worth & figure if someone doesn't see it then move on & find someone who will. Having this mindset also makes you more attractive & shows people you know your worth & you have boundaries.

Neil1398 · 2020-09-30T21:26:27+00:00

Probably another guy. Like maybe an ex hit her up.

In terms of things you could have possibly you did wrong: - Pursue too quickly - Show interest too quick - Talk too much - this is a big one. I don’t know what it is but if you just reveal too much too quickly you’re no longer interesting to her. I’ve had girls ask me if I was shy and then I started being more open and they lost interest.

The above are just ideas. It might have went well to you and maybe her as well but sometimes the universe just fucks wit us lol.

The best thing I feel I can say to you is when you are out with another girl, your mindset should be that you can easily get another girl hotter than her. Ask yourself do you like her? What do you like about her? Imagine if the girl was someone you weren’t attracted to. How would you act?

This is just advice. You may know all of this but I just want you to be aware of things that could have gone wrong.

k20_4 · 2020-09-30T21:46:04+00:00

There are lots of reasons. Maybe she met you and decided that you guys didn't mesh. Maybe shes talking to someone else. Maybe shes got her own things going on and it has nothing to do with you. Honestly, life is too short to worry about someone who doesn't want to spend time with you. I know men like a chase, but she has to give you a little bit of a hint. Of you're dying of curiosity, I'd ask, but that may come across desperate. I'd just let it go.

thahotboyingrey · 2020-09-30T22:02:03+00:00

Nr.1- Not really being who she thought that you were or came across

Pringles__ · 2020-09-30T22:13:47+00:00

Don't overthink this. Don't find a reason to blame her or to blame yourself.

She did not want to see you and she ghosted you, which shows a clear lack of interest from her. I personally would have nexter her since the first excuse.

You don't want to deal with someone who is not interested. You deserve somebody who is attracted by you.

Senior_Calligrapher6 · 2020-09-30T22:35:14+00:00

There are 3 or more possible reasons(I need to know more to specificly point out why).Most common: 1.Buyers remorse 2.Friendzone 3.Plan B

1 you weren't the one to slow things down and she is now uncomfortable being arround you

2 you didn't escelate things enough(then slow the down) and gave off friendly vibe

3 you were the plan B and plan A worked. It sucks and it happens. She was trying to get ahold of some guy which was her main priority that wasn't working, you came along, she went for you but as soon as she got chance with the first guy she took it and ghosted you so she still has room for error if things go bad with the first guy

Possible solutions: -Block her and forget she ever existed so bitch know you ain't no fuckin plan B

-Go out with another girl

-wait for your turn, as soon as she is dumped by that guy you can fuck her that night

-wait for your turn to have a relationship with her and fall in love with her, she will realize she made a mistake and she is done with douchebags, she realized you are the nice guy she needs in her life and similar fairy tales

However, best advice ever is:

Don't be the guy who is desperate and got mad, be the guy who lost interest and has other options.

Woujo · 2020-09-30T23:03:00+00:00

The main reason women lose interest is because you acted to needy and emotionally invested. It is almost a 90% chance this is what happened here.

The second main reason is because they learned something about you that turned them off. Maybe it turns out that you are not as funny, cool, or interesting as they thought you were. Women often become interested because of some image they have of you, and when you fail to live up to that image they lose interest.

A third reason is that they were never that into you in the first place, and they were just keeping you around because their actual first choice was not available. Now that they feel less desperate they can let you go.

ttt3214 · 2020-09-30T23:08:56+00:00

I don't think I've acted too needy. I've showed some interest. Maybe that was enough. On the second point, oh well, I'm not trying to live up to anyone's expectations. I don't think the third point applies here, but who knows. Either ways thanks for the feedback!

NDex101 · 2020-09-30T23:27:15+00:00

Women lose interest because you didn't display enough value. There are a thousand reasons why, but it all boils down to your value. Something you said, maybe everything, put you in this position. Your top priority, since you already got the date, was to build comfort with her. If you tried to seduce her, it could have lead to it backfiring. Too many compliments. A lack of conversation. If she kept the conversation going, she might of found you boring. Also, it could be that something else has happened in her life to were it altered the course of your relationship. There are other things that could have happened, but she either didn't see value in you or life circumstances.

SciBoron · 2020-10-01T00:38:31+00:00

It was overcast the day after your date.

BTW, how did the date end badly? The first encounters till the third time are always sensitive. They tend to extrapolate a single event/statement/gesture/comment into bad shit crazy conclusions. Cut your losses and keep swimming for more fish.

laeriel_c · 2020-10-01T00:40:52+00:00

How much notice did you give when wanting to reschedule? If it was last minute then that might be why. No one likes their time being wasted.

mlsunderst00d · 2020-10-01T03:41:44+00:00

She probably already had other options and ghosted you after she was sure which person she was more interested in investing more time into. I’ve had that happen even from the opposite sex, it’s rough because it’s a bit to our selves but try not to let it effect you.

As far as ultimate reason, she may just not have been THAT into you—and that’s a hard pill to swallow at times with ourselves.

mlsunderst00d · 2020-10-01T03:41:49+00:00

She probably already had other options and ghosted you after she was sure which person she was more interested in investing more time into. I’ve had that happen even from the opposite sex, it’s rough because it’s a bit to our selves but try not to let it effect you.

As far as ultimate reason, she may just not have been THAT into you—and that’s a hard pill to swallow at times with ourselves.

NorthEndCat · 2020-10-01T04:43:15+00:00

How old are you? From the sound of things, you sound kind of young or pretty... naive, to the whole dating complex? It's pretty hard to gage how your date felt about things from your generalities, b/c even tho you said you thought things ended "pretty well" -- for YOU. I can vouch being on some pretty miserable dates w/ the guy overtalking or dominating, but THEY thought it was a great night. And if you had expectations there would be more dates than just focusing on the current one, that tells me you weren't very present to her. Communication is the key to most dating and if she couldn't be forward and/or you guys couldn't get there b/c she Ghosted you... my inclination to say, Sorry it MIGHT be you.

ALpha7Dark · 2020-10-01T05:00:14+00:00

I think you are overthinking it. I think you want to know what went wrong exactly or what you would have done differently to get her to the next date(basically you want to know what went wrong and learn to not repeat it) but you have to consider the fact that maybe it's all about her and no matter what you would have done differently she would still flake on you. All I want to say is forget about her and move to next girl and eventually after some experiences I think you will get the answer.

sizzle-d-wa · 2020-10-01T05:02:51+00:00

Bottom line. It was one date. She just wasn’t into you.

If you are telling me that you can barely read signals then I don’t trust you to tell me she was “super” into you.

Emotions are real. Deal with it. After that, get back up, brush yourself off, and get back in there.

VojvodaSrpski · 2020-10-01T08:31:20+00:00

She has options and you don’t, if you had options on the other hand it would be very unlikely she would change her mind because she would want to compete with others and come out on the top.

Servin007 · 2020-10-01T09:24:27+00:00

A female colleague to me told me last week that she had booked 3 dated on Friday and 4 on Saturday, and that she would have too choose 1 for each day. And she isn't that good looking and 33 years old.. so they have a real meat market infront of them. Also if you might have giving way that you were way into her that is very unattractive for both genders. Its just a thought I had tho.

bdsksmsmsndnd · 2020-10-01T11:48:25+00:00

I may share my perspective. I slightly do agree that women on average have more options than men. At the same time, those options may be not good. I have a girl friend, she is an average looking girl, definitely not ugly, but definitely not beautiful. Do she has more options than me? yes , she does, are those options good, no to the hell no. She had weird guys approaching her, talking weird to her.

Me, on the other hand. I’ve had decent dating life (few gf’s, hooks. up, fwb’s, etc). I just learnt how to talk to women and thats it.

Also, this may sound weird. But, in dating there is a aspect called “power dynamic” This mean when you are interested in the girl more than she is, this would mean she has all the “power” she will make the decision, which is extremely bad. A girl will need to chase you little bit, bring anxiety into the dating, she should be thinking. “What is he doing?” “will I ever see him?”does he likes me/find me attractive”this would make her invest more into you and you have the “power”

2020-10-07T00:18:56+00:00

Maybe u were too nervous or you didn't escalate yeah girls lose interest when u don't pull the trigger when they give out the signs that they want u to

TheGreatMonkeyNoodle · 2020-09-30T17:20:03+00:00

People are weird sometimes man. I was talking to this girl, mad plans with her, sent her what we could do on Instagram with no reply, tried to talk to her a couple days later but i just wanted to say hi... IGNORED! Bruh this was in person too bruh 😂 IN FUCKING PERSON🤣🤣 at my job so i see this girl almost everyday bruh EVERYDAY! It didnt bother me that much where i had to avoid her but i did feel a little salty... The point of my story is that shit happens, not saying you're fucked but if you ever run into a similar situation like mines wether it be in person or not dont sweat it because there's more fish in the sea 😊

andyyy__13 · 2020-10-01T01:41:42+00:00

You probably came off weak, needy and insecure = huge turn off. Act like a man and women won’t be able to walk away from you.

Title	Is there an "ultimate" reason for a girl to stop being interested in a guy she was really interested in?
Author	ttt3214
Upvotes	54
Comments	154
Date	September 30, 2020 4:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j2p3ab/is_there_an_ultimate_reason_for_a_girl_to_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-an-ultimate-reason-for-a-girl-to-stop.1503086 https://theredarchive.com/post/1503086

Comments

1 you weren't the one to slow things down and she is now uncomfortable being arround you

2 you didn't escelate things enough(then slow the down) and gave off friendly vibe

Don't be the guy who is desperate and got mad, be the guy who lost interest and has other options.