When women test you, they are providing you with an opportunity for you to prove yourself

HeavenPiercingMan · 2021-03-29T16:30:28+00:00

Here’s the thing, a lot of supposed pickup gurus can’t tell the difference between “shit tests” and when someone is genuinely a standoffish cunt with an inflated ego not worth your time. There’s a point where even maintaining the conversation is just a waste of effort best put elsewhere, and sometimes the bar for that is very, very quick.

Sometimes, her insulting you is just that. You aren’t going to turn around every interaction with some sort of swagger playbook, some people are just obnoxious and have made up their minds about you the second they see you.

griffin1353 · 2021-03-29T13:15:21+00:00

*brings around physically superior guy friend to test new men I meet at bar*

twombles21 · 2021-03-29T18:04:18+00:00

This post is 100% why I absolutely despise dating.

FrontTheMachine · 2021-03-29T15:25:43+00:00

And then dump her as she doesn't deserve somebody as perfect as you are and find somebody else that doesn't need to check the boxes

wallynext · 2021-03-29T15:15:44+00:00

" they are providing you with an opportunity for you to prove yourself "

yeah that's the thing, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone! you are saying this like they are doing you a favor for providing an opportunity... My dudes, don't listen to this, you don't have to prove shit

Starving_Vampires · 2021-03-29T16:24:31+00:00

Reminds me of my first girlfriend secretly texting her ex to come meet us at the park so she could compare us. I didn’t know about it, he didn’t know about it. Just a shitty awkward thing to do. She ended up cheating on me with him. Shocker

klootviooI · 2021-03-29T15:37:01+00:00

I got told i was dangerous once by a female friend. Surprised she used that term i asked her what she meant,

"everyone i know depends on validation by others, but you never ask certain questions, you never look for approval, you dont need it to fill your ego and that stands out!"

I smiled and said thanks for the compliment, maybe people need to work more on their self image more..

Cpt-Hook · 2021-03-29T16:16:34+00:00

If I wanted to get tested I'd go back to school. Lol.

Rad619619 · 2021-03-29T18:59:22+00:00

A woman insults you and you laugh it off? You think letting someone disrespect you is "passing" the test? If she confirmed anything, it is that you are an exploitable simp. Any woman who "tests" you to see if you are a high-value man is a low-value woman. You play along with it if you feel like fucking, but you never forgive the disrespect. If you make the mistake of dating her, you'll have to clean and cook for her like a toddler and she'll try to trade sex for gifts. I fixed your list for you:

Test: The woman stares into your eyes to see if you can comfortably hold eye contact.
Answer: This is not a test. This is just eye contact.

Test: She brings up a sexual topic and looks to see if it makes you uncomfortable.
Answer: This is not a test. This is just talking about sex.

Test: Compares you to another man saying: “I think the waiter is cute.”
Answer: She just failed the test, and is now in the Hookup Zone. Respond with a joke mocking her lack of social etiquette.

Test: Introduces you to her guy friend who is physically superior to you.
Answer: Get beers with the guy; you might make a new friend. If she was just innocently introducing a friend and you have the intention of dating her, you can ask him about her red flags too. If she was obviously "testing" you, she is now just a hookup so don't even bother asking about red flags.

Test: Points out one of your short comings.
Answer: She just failed the test, and is now in the Hookup Zone. Respond with confusion at her sudden rudeness, followed by self-loving dismissal rather than jokes. Then, tell her that unless she learns manners she won't hear from you again.

2021-03-29T15:54:35+00:00

Yeah, no thanks, chief. I ain't proving myself or going out of my way to tick some boxes on arbitrary shit tests; if those tests are taking place then high chances are that woman isn't someone I want to spend any amount of time with, anyway.

Women are not doing me a favour by speaking to me, I am not sitting an exam and I don't conduct tests on others.

Hard. Pass.

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2021-03-29T17:40:13+00:00

If I am being shit tested, I will just assume that she is extremely insecure. I have no time for games and tests.

2021-03-29T20:13:37+00:00

Hmm as a girl I usually don’t test those ways- I guess my “testing” is flirting but never in a mean or degrading way. I try to see what you like and what interests you. I also look at how you treat others, how you speak to others - What do you want, and what are you looking for. At a bar I don’t expect much but I’m personally not interested in sex (personal reasons/virgin) right now but dancing or enjoying a guy’s company is great. But sometimes I can sense when a man wants only sex - which isn’t bad at all but it’s not what I want so I usually turn those down or avoid approaching /being near those. I’ve noticed men who really want that can be sometimes be pushy and rude so I stay clear or make it known I’m not interested.

Im sorry there are girls who are down right mean. Avoid them they aren’t worth your time. If they treat you like crap in the beginning whose to say they will change?

But I also think girls who want something more are not Going to want flings :(

I try to “read the room” when it comes to guys. If I can sense he is interested after I flirt or whatever it is then I’ll push on if not I’ll let him be so he isn’t uncomfortable.

takingmylifebacknow · 2021-03-29T19:46:33+00:00

I know I will get a lot if hate for this, but why do we have to "pass" this women test and they shouldn't pass our test?

Like, I get it, there are a lot of guys with not so good intentions and with this you can see if the guy is serious about the relationship or not.

The thing that I am trying to say is that, women think that if they want something, you can't say anything about it. If you turn them down, they will say that you hurt their feelings and you are a bad person because you don't want to be eith them.

If you try to "test them" they will think that you are playing around and you are not worth their time. I think that's ridiculous because this behavior is normalized by women but if a man tries to do it, he's egotistic, narcissistic and only cares about himself. I want to see the other person that they care and not put me in situations that in the first place are not meant to be.

Everyone knows a situations, from experience or from another friend that their girlfriend/crush/whatever put them to reach to the other part of the town to get her a coffee just for her to see that you care for example (bad example, but I think you got the idea). It's nuts how people accept this behavior in the first place.

I respect my partner, but I think some people need to calm down with those "test" and actually communicate what they need. Even if it's something ridiculous.

laramie402 · 2021-03-29T19:24:28+00:00

no, when women test you it’s because they’re finding boundaries and it’s usually a bad thing if they test you.

someone who is emotionally mature or mature in general won’t do most of any of those ‘tests’ listed

MasterCucumber · 2021-03-29T20:43:23+00:00

The only answer to all of those tests is: run away as far as you can. Those answers are partly correct if things happen naturally, but if they are deliberately testing you, it teaches you that they are not transparent nor good at communicating, don't treat you as an equal, and will likely try to manipulate you in other ways. Have sex with them at your own risk, but strongly recommend to abstain anything else.

Find yourself a girl (or man) that will communicate instead of treating you like a rat in a lab that has to jump through their hoops.

Uusseerrnnaammee99 · 2021-03-29T14:58:24+00:00

Good advice. It's good to read stuff like this that we already know but forget in the stress of every day life. I sure as hell need reminders

MakeSail · 2021-03-30T01:27:30+00:00

The big picture:

Emotional techniques are common in conversation. If you distill down conversation you would get basically two categories of technique; assertive and empathetic (emotion).

Women in communication:

If you look at the options for women to test a man's character, there are basically three categories:

1) Strength, is she stronger than the man, not likely. In courting I don't really see any tests of strength between the genders.

2) Intelligence, is she smarter than the man, a very real possibility, which we will look at in a moment.

3) Emotional maturity, is she more emotionally intelligent than the man, a very likely possibility.

So given the about, if you want to determine relative strength of character what technique would you use as a woman, it's obviously emotional. Emotional tests are a way to evaluate strength of character, test the limits of control, and form a base for manipulation.

I do think that intelligence (IQ) in tests are a very real possibility that should not be discounted. How this seems to play out, is in skills in conversation, argumentation, sense of humor, etc. So, as a man you may be evaluated for intelligence in the form of a test.

I believe most emotional tests for women are instinctual and happen in the moment. So, don't look at tests as some greater overall strategy in attaining goals. They just happen. There is no cognitive process unless we venture into control and manipulation. Which obviously, would be belligerent in some way and to me are not really "tests" in the traditional sense of the word (shit tests). Test's are fleeting attempts are observing reaction. There is no part B, there is no strategy.

One example of how emotion is the focus for women in communication is in how they listen. In interpersonal communication this is called empathetic listening. The approach is all about exploring emotions and discovering their origin rather than looking for solutions. It is more of a sharing experience to strengthen the bonds of friendship and a feeling of belonging in regards to their peer group.

Men in communication:

There is nothing limiting men from adopting and using emotional techniques in conversation. A basic example is the "neg". Although, as a technique I don't really use it because there are better ways to use emotion in guiding conversation.

Men can emotionally test women. You do not have to pass any test. You can redirect the conversation with your own emotional technique without any real repercussions.

The battle field:

In my opinion, in dating and relationships the mindset should be emotional combat. This is based on my own experience, and I don't make the rules.

If you want a male analog, I use the concept of emotional dominance. More of a way to describe the idea that to physically dominate a woman (sex) you must first emotionally dominate her (desire).

GuavaLatter · 2021-03-29T15:35:46+00:00

Physically superior? I say Good luck lol

wabbuwabbu · 2021-03-29T17:53:23+00:00

Test: The woman stares into your eyes to see if you can comfortably hold eye contact.

Answer: Comfortably hold eye contact.

Noticed a lot of woman do this to me. I don't know how to react and avoid eye contact in fear that my face expression may be too aggressive.

Also, lets say I succeeded with the eye contact. What is the next step? should I just walk into her?

ProductivityMonster · 2021-03-29T15:43:34+00:00

no time for this nonsense. Maybe when I was in college, no job, etc. Shit-tests are a hard pass for me now.

el_Nango · 2021-03-29T16:13:27+00:00

you misspelled judging like "testing"

sundeepsam · 2021-03-29T15:37:02+00:00

Yh they do that , sometimes they try to break your confidence and look dead on in ur eyes to see how u really are

MylesTales · 2021-03-29T19:26:19+00:00

Ugh I hate tests...

Rev_Irreverent · 2021-03-29T20:01:21+00:00

Yes, and the best answer is always "go fuck you and your tests".

ThenIJizzedInMyPants · 2021-03-29T21:29:59+00:00

I guess so, but having that mindset is not good, because it feels like you are jumping through hoops to satisfy her requirements.

I prefer to approach the relationship with 'amused mastery'. Basically, how would you react if an 8 yo girl was teasing you, or giving you shit, or acting difficult? Would you get all butthurt and sulk? Or would you laugh it off / agree&amplify because she's 8?

Treat girls like they're 8 I guarantee you it'll keep you in a playful frame of mind and relaxed, and you'll see these shit tests for what they really are

maaan_fuck_a_roach · 2021-03-29T22:02:42+00:00

Where was this last Friday?!

Railionn · 2021-03-29T22:22:37+00:00

These examples are almost never used as a true shit test. Unless the woman has fucked 100 guys and needs to know you're the one.

They are more or less situations that can happen any moment. Therefore it's good to always be aware that woman pick up on "bad answers" or behavior that could turn them off.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-03-29T22:23:12+00:00

The example with the physically superior friend doesn’t sound centered and confident at all, it sounds passive-aggressive and weak. It indicates that you’re threatened by him.

I don’t think this is even a realistic scenario, maybe applies more to someone who is in college. Never encountered this in my 30’s, seems like it would be childish.

Have to disagree on that one.

FalconVita · 2021-03-29T23:14:51+00:00

Prove yourself? Why is it that only men should prove themselves?

ciudad_gris · 2021-03-29T23:29:16+00:00

Yeah I don't play that shit. I'm not quick witted to begin with so I'm not wasting my time.

Raging_Asian_Man · 2021-03-29T23:44:25+00:00

When women test you, they are providing you with an excellent opportunity to find a woman who doesn't test you.

FTFY

Tiny_Addition · 2021-03-29T23:54:32+00:00

Don’t date women who play games and have “tests”. Also no real life woman I know has “tests”.

plaze6288 · 2021-03-29T23:54:39+00:00

Women that do this deserve to be single

strawberryadvil · 2021-03-30T08:25:58+00:00

Wow thats just completely wrong in every way.

TerminatorReborn · 2021-03-29T15:55:40+00:00

Literally every women I've ever dated did shit tests, it's soooo tiring. I'm not mysoginist or red pilled but this one I think it's wired on their brains, can't think of any other explanation for every girl I've had a date to do shit tests

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-03-29T16:57:56+00:00

Really like this .All commonly referred to in game as shit tests.

I notice in bars guys who catch a girls eye, look away and then look back, and boom he's out when he tries to approach, its a weakness in him evolved from evolution, and women instinctively know it.

2 other important examples:

Her trying to lead, which is a big one, where she tries to lead the way by taking control of decisions, and seeing if you break and just go along and agree.

Disrespecting- Her "I don't see the point of buying an expensive watch"... I had this one recently, as an example. Just troll the bitch right back, or whatever your way is that does not justify yourself to her.

The bigger points about this, are most men are oblivious to masculinity, and women are 99% higher in emotional intelligence to what is going on. Shit testing is there for her to know what type of man you are, and see if she can knock you off centre.

Guys who moan about it aren't man enough for that woman, and it isn't even deliberate on her behalf.

2021-03-29T18:47:21+00:00

King, you dropped this 👑

xu7 · 2021-03-30T00:18:31+00:00

These tests are not a thing.

MeasurementQuiet109 · 2021-03-30T06:32:51+00:00

I used to play this game. Nowadays I just light a cigarette in their face and walk away

Allemaengel · 2021-03-30T00:03:29+00:00

Speaking of tests, if you're a short guy, tall women like my 5'10" gf will sometimes roll out the high heels on first dates to specifically see how you react, lol.

Gotta roll with it - nbd.

Ramanticasf · 2021-03-30T02:53:49+00:00

I mean they are literally called 'shit tests'. Who cares if you fail to Excel in it or just leave the test unattempted. And yeah, fuck these extravagant slutty teachers who think shit tests are cool.

MrHelloBye · 2021-03-30T03:05:22+00:00

This basically seems to be how you automatically behave when you’re actually confident and have self esteem. Not taking yourself too seriously

Sawt0othGrin · 2021-03-30T04:19:31+00:00

I try to see it as "women have to prove themselves to me" and if I get tested too much I'll just assume it's not worth it in a planet that's half female, plenty more to go around.

Title	When women test you, they are providing you with an opportunity for you to prove yourself
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	529
Comments	103
Date	March 29, 2021 12:29 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mfoi5i/when_women_test_you_they_are_providing_you_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-women-test-you-they-are-providing-you-with-an.1511796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1511796

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