I’m gonna get a divorce in a few years. How should I prepare?

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-14T01:15:41+00:00

You need a divorce accountant/finance guy. They can set up the way to protect assets legally.

xeskind30 · 2024-08-12T20:40:14+00:00

You need to consult a lawyer ASAP and get the ball rolling. It doesn't matter if it is not the right time. The longer you wait, the more she will have the advantage. If she is asking for more time, then don't parley with her. It is unfortunate that she is a SAHM, but if the marriage is over, don't stay together "for the kids." If you get in front of this, you may be able to get as close to fair as possible. For us men, that is near impossible, that is why you consult the lawyer.

Good luck.

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-08-12T18:07:06+00:00

if she hasnt worked all those years you are getting hammered on spousal support. i did in AZ. there’s a formula they use.

mr21vp · 2024-08-12T14:28:43+00:00

Definitely get her back into the workforce. If needed give her some incentives like a new phone, handbag, etc. after passing anniversaries on the job.

Besides a company 401k match, stop contributing to your retirement plans. Half will go to her anyways. Focus on paying off debt if you have any.

If you own a house, consider selling it and renting in a nice area. Park the proceeds in a joint brokerage account that will be split at the divorce. You can also use your share as a "bargaining chip" in exchange for no alimony, etc.

Develop a "gambling problem" showing a pattern of regular ATM withdrawals at casinos, horse tracks, etc. Then stash the cash (or convert to gold coins) and don't tell a soul. Join a Gamblers Anonymous group just before filing for divorce. Gambling was your way to cope with a failing marriage - wink wink

Don't get involved with another lady on the side at all costs. Stay focused on your plan and being a good father

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-12T14:24:46+00:00

Talk to lawyer but in my jurisdiction alimony is pegged to the duration of the marriage. So the longer you wait the higher your likely liability on that front.

Mattythrowaway85 · 2024-08-12T13:11:04+00:00

You are absolutely screwed if she does not get a job. You need to look at this as not only protecting yourself, but help getting someone you once loved on their feet. She really needs to get a job and get situated. My ex was a stay at home mom when we split. She used that as an excuse to max me out on alimony and support. I give her almost half of my income between alimony and child support, and she refuses to work. I'm completely stuck until the kids are 18 to make any career changes. I wanted to move out west and do something different, but I'm maxed out on my pay and they used that to factor in the support. I'm hosed for another four years.

yes2matt · 2024-08-12T12:48:14+00:00

Talk to a lawyer (cash consultation, not disclosed to stbx), best 300 you can spend.

Prioritize your own health;

Programmed strength training,
Some sort of cardio activity, make it fun
Psych eval/ therapy. Especially of you have insurance coverage, this is tome/money well spent. If only for the "don't shit where you eat" principle you pay a therapist to listen to you process all the garbage thoughts and feelings you have so that your friends and colleagues don't have to.
If you don't already have a group of male(!) friends that you hang with/activities, build and strengthen that network.
Take a good hard critical look at your alcohol use and porn use. You are about to go through a very difficult season, and what feels like a little luxury now will eat you alive. Drinking and pmo and mj use needs to be at zero or approaching zero. Seriously, these will get you.

PeerSifter · 2024-08-12T11:48:19+00:00

Be at the bottom of your earning potential when you divorce. The last thing you want is to be at the top of it.

Start a business and let it flounder. Take time off because you're burned-out. Do something to show your income is going down. Start going to therapy so you can document being 'depressed' or 'anxious' or suffering from PTSD. Be sure it's something that cannot be disproven.

Backdoc99 · 2024-08-12T11:24:54+00:00

here is a starting point. Im in texas and im on the starting line for filing myself. You also need to take into account Texas is a community property state so your wife will also be eligible for 50% of all property obtained during the marriage.

Once you have determined the obligor’s net monthly resources, you can calculate child support. The guidelines set child support at the following percentages of net resources:

1 child: 20%
2 children: 25%
3 children: 30%
4 children: 35%
5 children: 40%
6 or more children: at least 40%

The guidelines apply to all of an obligor’s net resources up to $9,200 per month. A judge can order additional child support based on the parent’s income and the child’s needs

How long is spousal maintenance paid in Texas?

Generally, spousal support is granted for a limited period of time. The court will determine the shortest amount of time necessary to allow the spouse in need of support to earn enough money to provide for his or her own needs. The Texas Family Code, Section 8.054, sets the maximum period of support as:

5 years if there was a conviction or deferred adjudication for family violence
5 years if the parties were married at least 10 years
7 years if the parties were married between at least 20 years
10 years if the parties were married at least 30 years
Indefinitely if the spouse is severely disabled or caring for a disabled child

Is there a cap on spousal maintenance?

Yes. The Texas Family Code caps the amount of spousal support per month to the lesser of:

$5,000 or
20 percent of the paying spouse’s gross monthly income.

TheCommentator- · 2024-08-12T11:00:27+00:00

Idk the legalities, but put everything in a trust? Maybe someone who knows the law better can explain this?

GuyIncognito1730 · 2024-08-12T10:30:34+00:00

I have no idea about Texas but in my state once you’re at 20 years of marriage it makes lifetime alimony possible. Just fyi.

FUMoney · 2024-08-12T08:47:11+00:00

The longer you wait, the bigger your alimony obligation. If your marriage is over, the best time to divorce: immediately. Stop. The. Bleeding.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-08-12T06:31:26+00:00

Ensure that she has a job. And ensure that you split parental responsibilities 50/50 at least. Or more for you.

Attend every parent-teacher conference, every doctor appointment, every sport event, you got the idea. And don’t just attend - schedule it, be the main participant and main caregiver.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-08-12T05:53:20+00:00

She needs a jobby job.

But, why wait 4 more years? More alimony. Larger assets to be divided. What’s the upside?

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2024-08-12T05:49:14+00:00

Find a way for her to get a job. If she has no income stream coming in after you divorce her, you WILL be her income stream. Get a good lawyer now and set up a strategic plan. Good luck.

Title	I’m gonna get a divorce in a few years. How should I prepare?
Author	Tumescent_phallus
Upvotes	8
Comments	27
Date	August 12, 2024 4:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1eq4tof/im_gonna_get_a_divorce_in_a_few_years_how_should/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-gonna-get-a-divorce-in-a-few-years-how-should-i.1527047 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527047

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Is there a cap on spousal maintenance?