How to handle the "I'm not ready" type of situations with girls?

offinthewoods10 · 2024-10-14T15:10:42+00:00

I don’t let it faze me and just say “ok that’s cool”. Just be flexible and go with the flow.

If she doesn’t want to have sex but making out Ok, then make out and get a little handsy if it feels appropriate, but respect her decision to not have sex and don’t go and try to take off her clothes.

The fact that you are willing to respect her decisions, might change her mind in of itself. (Don’t go all nice guy though, you actually have to be chill with not having sex) when they change their mind like that I like to tease them a little bit, “oh, I thought we weren’t having sex tonight 😏”

Zitoism · 2024-10-14T15:29:44+00:00

I chalk it up to the game and move on. If we not on the same page there’s no reason in me staying and wasting my time.

Dwerg1 · 2024-10-14T15:36:26+00:00

What you're looking for and want is what matters here. She's just telling you where she stands, you should tell her where you stand in relation to that.

If you don't like it because you're looking for a relationship then you tell her that and move on.

If you're genuinely not looking for a relationship and the casual thing you've got going is fine, then tell her you're not looking for it either and you're fine with it being the way it is.

If you know you'll eventually want a relationship, but don't mind having this thing in the meantime you can just be honest about that as well. Tell her you're fine with that for the time being and that you'll let her know when it's time for you to move on. This option obviously requires that you accept the fact that it won't turn into a relationship and that you have the wisdom to pull out if you start feeling more emotionally invested than you should be.

So the real question is what do you want? There are no objectively wrong answers here as long as it respects her stance in one way or another.

All the options involve accepting it's not going to be a relationship. If you go for the second or third option I outlined here there is a chance she'll change her mind later, but you should not count on it and you absolutely should assume it's never going to happen. Act accordingly. If it does happen you can make that decision then based on what you feel about it at that time.

SeaOk4403 · 2024-10-14T15:18:33+00:00

Personally, my first instinct in such a moment would be a joke or a play on her words like relationship and ready. Diffuse the tension, lighten the energy and bring it back to the present moment.

But also if the moment calls for it, acknowledge what she said seriously, and level with her what your intentions are and stand by it. If they're not aligned, leave it on a good note and let it go nicely.

Practical-Macaroon38 · 2024-10-14T18:16:48+00:00

Never act butthurt about it. Just try again after a couple of minutes. If you’re rejected again then play it off & try to escalate next time that you see her.

If this persists then just make up some excuse & say “listen I gotta go do ___ that I just remembered I have to do”. Don’t mention anything about why you’re actually leaving, even if they challenge you about it.

This will either cause them to change their mind & they’ll stay or the distance will make her miss you more, inevitably changing her mind. If it doesn’t, well then move on because persuading here will never work.

Savings-Seat6211 · 2024-10-14T20:29:52+00:00

if someone isnt ready for a relationship you should listen to them. they're not ready for a relationship.

therealwoujo · 2024-10-14T15:47:32+00:00

This usually happens because you are acting needy. She shouldn't feel like you are chasing her, she should feel like she is chasing you. You should be the one saying these things, not her.

Sandvicheater · 2024-10-14T23:02:26+00:00

I ask if she's wanting something non-committal like FWB if she's not down for that i'll say its cool we can revisit this at a later time and GTFO to the next girl cause i'm not gonna wait 6 months jerking it to pornhub with blueballs just because the girl can't make up her damn mind.

Pyroftw3 · 2024-10-14T15:35:11+00:00

So they not looking for a relationship simple as that, find someone who is if that is what you looking for, if not no need to label it jeez, just keep them as FWBs

NoAnywhere7246 · 2024-10-14T23:00:25+00:00

Block that dumb bih. They usually have an ego bigger than their relationship with their mom and are always a complete waste of time

innergamedude · 2024-10-14T18:52:39+00:00

The best way to get past someone's walls is to suddenly get to know their walls without needing to get past them. Acknowledge it and then just continue hanging out.

Electronic_d0cter · 2024-10-14T19:13:19+00:00

"I understand" and change subjects or try to release tension somehow. There's nothing wrong with going for it it's only creepy if you don't immediately accept the answer without questioning it

Hot_Neighborhood5167 · 2024-10-14T21:15:48+00:00

You just don't have to handle it.

CharmingRejector · 2024-10-14T23:06:53+00:00

Means they just want to have sex. So, stop talking about relationship bs and give them what they really want!

AeliosZero · 2024-10-15T00:05:23+00:00

Just respect her boundaries as she probably just has a lot going on in her head emotionally and she needs time to process it.

If by chance she is playing a game of sorts than it's not the kind of person you want to be with anyway. So being polite and stepping back works either way.

redspikedog · 2024-10-15T06:30:25+00:00

I just say "oh" like its nothing. Cause it really is nothing. Slow your escalation.

Its like gears in a truck. You dont FORCE the stick into gear, you gently apply pressure into the gear and feel it grind lightly and watch it shift in on its own.

TechnologyNo4567 · 2024-10-15T12:35:11+00:00

You shouldn’t be asking women if they want to get into a relationship. They should asking you. In 2024 women have more leverage than ever and if they don’t view you as their very best option then your just a filler guy. Never stop building your value and go after other women

Basic-Parfait3122 · 2024-10-15T14:15:15+00:00

I had that happen to me in the summer where she said we shouldn't rush it. It's better that she is the one to bring it up.

mkkpt · 2024-10-15T16:43:51+00:00

Listen to her, ask questions. Really get inside her head and try to understand how she is thinking. Is it trauma? Bad ex? Is she leaving the country next week? Mum just died? Virgin? Didn't expect to have these strong feelings (scared)?

Actively listen -

be attentive / concerned
summarise / paraphrase
if you don't understand ask them to repeat
show empathy
Open body language, eye contact
don't judge
don't interrupt
ask questions
don't give advice unless asked.

Women usually have good reason to say this. It would be a big red sign, that you need to slow it down, investigate and think how you want to proceed further.

If you ignore these signs and barrel through, expect a big blow up, surprise or drama at some point, that is very hard to talk down.

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2024-10-15T16:59:02+00:00

So we need more context here. Are you referring to this being said in a general moment? Or like after youve been spending time with someone for a bit and then they tell you this?

Now...what if....crazy idea....its the actual TRUTH?

It doesnt mean someone doesnt want you per se and that its an outright rejection of you.

I think Ive come to understand as Ive gotten older that so much about life when it comes to relationships just comes down to timing.

Just because youre possibly not looking for something with someone, doesnt mean you dont like them or vice versa. It just means you have higher priorities that you want to be focused on and not so much on someone else. If anything Id see someone knowing that and being able to communicate it as a sign of maturity.

Someone not being able to tell youre the just unsure of things the entire time, and yet still spending time with you when they knew all along is WAY worse.

Can literally promise you.

Its very normal and I was thinking about this myself if I was to move to a new city, as Ive been checking out different cities in the last month. What if I met someone AMAZING here right when I moved or soon into it? I dont think id want to get into a situation with someone so new into a city, as id wanna see what else is out there before locking things down with someone and then knowing I wanted to be more free instead of going into something asap and finding out I was wrong. Doesnt 100% mean Im LOOKING for someone else, it just means I know Im not in the place to make that call right now or its likely NOT a good idea to do so and maybe hurt someone (and feel guilty for it).

Generally, if someone says this to me, I give up any non platonic hope or just make em a friend. A lot of you underestimate how much a female friend could help you or might know other single women that would be a better match for you (again though, this always depends on the vibe and wants, etc).

Its also possible you just keep it platonic, occasionally still spend time around each other and then she ends up liking you just due to proximity or finding out youre actually legit and actually just as good as you advertised.

Nonetheless, dont hold out hope she'll turn. Keep living your life.

InstructionAbject763 · 2024-10-18T05:02:59+00:00

If they aren't ready

They don't want it

When I tell a man I'm not ready for a relationship it's because I don't want one

Don't waste your time trying to convince someone who doesn't want a relationship to get in one

It's like trying to convince child free people to have kids

Some people just don't want that shit in their lives🤷🏼‍♀️

Find the women who do want what you want.

IllustriousEbb5839 · 2024-10-15T14:11:20+00:00

I’m confused - isn’t a girl with a “low body count” what you all say you want to marry?

Title	How to handle the "I'm not ready" type of situations with girls?
Author	Slickbo1
Upvotes	48
Comments	32
Date	October 14, 2024 2:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g3htg2/how_to_handle_the_im_not_ready_type_of_situations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-handle-the-im-not-ready-type-of-situations.1533620 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533620

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