Ex-wife treating me like a bank

thanksvitalik · 2024-11-27T18:02:01+00:00

Lawyer up...

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-11-25T20:21:59+00:00

Quit paying the stipend and do not co-sign anything.

File for divorce and get it done. She left because you were a simp, she is not coming back if you simp even harder by co-signing. It is over.

Baloneous_V · 2024-11-25T06:35:03+00:00

It sounds like you haven't gone through yet. Why don't you mediate with much lower costs, out of court and lead her on about the loan. Make it a quid pro quo and once the papers are signed, duck out and move to Costa Rica?

2024-11-25T04:55:43+00:00

Yesterday is when you start saying that lol.

She is manipulating you. You need to get on top of your world my guy.

jkw118 · 2024-11-24T23:52:49+00:00

Finalize the divorce.. get the ppwk done.. and in.. she is no longer your responsibility if you've both signed a srttlement..

warwww · 2024-11-24T23:43:14+00:00

Inform her that there are scores of men who would be glad to assist her with her financial woes. Wish her all the best and cease contact. Very simple.

Movieman_Steve · 2024-11-24T19:15:53+00:00

God I hope the divorce is final or she could take out any loan on your good name and credit. I also hope the car payments are in your name, not just you making them cause you feel the need to help. If it's a joint car loan, get your name off of that asap, if it's in your name get that car back NOW!!!!! Before she wraps it around a tree and stiffs you the loan, I hope you got the gap insurance on the car loan. When I was married and got a car loan, I got the gap insurance just in case. Now that I'm divorced and that car was paid off 2 yrs ago, I traded that car in for a new to me only me car that I'll make memories with it myself. Don't give her anymore money hoping she'll come back, if she does you just turned yourself into her personal piggy bank.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2024-11-24T18:24:21+00:00

Yeah there's a little voice that says 'if I'm nice I may get her back'. KILL that voice it's never ever worked like that, ur case is not special man. No loan no nothing she doestnt want u so why u wanna pay that bitch

Competitive-Donut790 · 2024-11-24T16:18:02+00:00

NEVER CO-SIGN.

DO NOT DO IT.

stupididiot78 · 2024-11-24T15:50:57+00:00

At what point do I start saying that "your problems are no longer my problems" and to just leave me be.

There's a very easy answer to that question from a very wise man who knows your situation very well.

She's the one who moved out and moved on, on a whim. I'm just trying to keep my shit together. It's bad enough I also lost my really good job I had for over 20 years back in July. I'm making some money but not nearly enough to cover bills at fedex. The new job is very physically demanding.

Royal-Reporter6664 · 2024-11-24T15:33:54+00:00

She's using the fact you want her back and keeping you simmer so you can sign loans and give money. She wanted the divorce let her sink or swim.

jimsmythee · 2024-11-24T15:22:57+00:00

Don’t do it!!

Don’t co-sign on anything for her. She won’t make the payments and you’ll be stuck.

In fact, do this. Put a credit freeze on ALL of your credit bureaus.

Let her sink or swim, but she needs to get a job ASAP.

redraven1160-2 · 2024-11-24T14:17:34+00:00

You get a lawyer and follow their instructions. You are getting divorced, why would you co-sign a loan. You are trying to untangle your lives. This will only further complicate things financially.

2024-11-24T12:56:05+00:00

Never loan money to friends or family. Period. DO NOT LEND HER MONEY! You are not a bank. Besides, a loan to your wife could easily be considered as a gift because you are still married insomuch as cash is a marital asset that cannot be converted to a loan in an intramarital transaction. Suggest her mother can co-sign a loan for her as a more viable, and legal option. DO NOT CO-SIGN A LOAN FOR HER!! If she is truly amicable, file for divorce and get a settlement agreement written up asap where you can divide assets and liabilities and separate your lives from each other. If she won't agree to a fair settlement then she has deceived you about wanting an amicable divorce without lawyers. You'd be surprised at how greedy a woman becomes when money is on the table, and she'll change her entire personality to get dat money too. All the more reason you should need to get a lawyer at this point because once she sees how easy it is to get money from you, she'll be henpecking you to death about another payment and another and another so long as you keep capitulating to her demands. She will never stop begging you for money if you let her so man up and set a hard boundary!

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-11-24T11:03:23+00:00

You need at least a lawyer, that amicable divorce should involve a lawyer to create fair conditions between both of you.

If not she is going to try to manipulate you.

helloworld2389023 · 2024-11-24T10:18:43+00:00

Well if you’re legally divorced there is not much she can do. She already agreed to it and legally did it. Trust me, worry about yourself, she made a choice and that was life without you. Let her have that, because I promise if tables were turned, she wouldn’t give your ass a dollar.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-11-24T09:05:01+00:00

You cosign the loan, that is going to be your loan regardless of what the court says. Court may order her to pay it but you can't get blood from a rock and it will be your credit when payments are missed.

crosseyedhopper · 2024-11-24T06:56:02+00:00

I made the mistake of helping my ex financially. I ended up having to ask for help myself. It’s not a good idea.

mrsammyb · 2024-11-24T06:41:46+00:00

You have to find a way to get her to finalise divorce. Just try and tell her you want her back to boost her ego and when she says no as she always does tell her in that case you want the divorce to go through so you can heal. It’s all to make her feel good so she goes through with the divorce. Also tell her after the divorce you will co sign for her on the loan. Once it’s finalised don’t sign it and walk away.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2024-11-24T06:36:35+00:00

You tell her, since you are no longer her husband, you will not provide husbandly benefits.

Gattsama · 2024-11-24T06:35:09+00:00

Under NO circumstances create new communal debt.

As much as this might hurt to hear, your goal is to divorce her as quickly as possible and end all entanglements. I understand that is not what you want, but it is what needs to happen.

Once a woman walks away, she is done. She has been planning this for months if not years. Her future is no longer your concern. Her security is no longer your concern.

Help her out as much as needed to facilitate the divorce. But no new communal assets or debts. She will 100% fuck you over on anything you co-sign. She has already demonstrated her interest and intentions.

Tell her you might consider signing after the divorce is final (then don't).

Title	Ex-wife treating me like a bank
Author	Tonberry38
Upvotes	20
Comments	24
Date	November 24, 2024 6:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gykhoc/exwife_treating_me_like_a_bank/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-wife-treating-me-like-a-bank.1536698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536698

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