Christmas without the kids

Longjumping_Proof_43 · 2024-12-26T23:34:03+00:00

I did get my daughter Christmas evening. I dont get my step daughter just because of my living situation(not enough room). I miss the excitement that the girls have Christmas mornings. The hurt never goes away. My 5yr old told me all the cool stuff she got and how excited she was. My toys weren't as cool as a computer that her mom got her but we played barbies and went to go see Sonic today. When I went to drop her off with her grandmother today(her mom had to work) I gave my step daughter her gifts at the drop off and didn't get to see her open them. I got a text message later saying how much she loved the gifts and that she loves me. This made my Christmas.

superman_410 · 2024-12-26T06:17:06+00:00

Face that shit, get it all off your chest, dont hide anything, whats done is done and no goin back, man up and own that shit, you will feel better afterwards i garuntee it

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-26T03:54:56+00:00

Not unhealthy to be alone at all. In fact sitting in your feelings and working through them is precisely what you need to do in order to heal and progress in life.

This is the time you need to learn to set boundaries, and that includes with your family. Communicate to them that you are going through a difficult time and that you need space.

Get yourself a gym membership. You will need it to get the anger out in a positive way.

Get yourself a Bible and invite the big guy into your life. Not every battle is yours.

Mangrove43 · 2024-12-25T23:03:39+00:00

Haven’t seen my kids in almost 3 years and haven’t had Christmas with them in 4 years. Time takes time

dfb54749014 · 2024-12-25T22:30:59+00:00

It's hard, really hard when this is all new and fresh. I spent Christmas Eve alone last night. My Ex got them yesterday afternoon until this afternoon when I picked them up.

The excitement of Christmas Eve going into Christmas morning was all hers. Next year it'll be mine.

So anyways... in my down/alone time last night I talked to friends and family to get me through it. Next thing I knew the night had passed and it was almost midnight.

Point is, reach out to those close to you to help you through the rough times. Those who really care and have your back will be there for you.

BatGuano52 · 2024-12-25T21:48:18+00:00

"I know questions will be asked and right now emotionally I would break down. "

You don't owe anybody any answers.

"I honestly want to just be alone but at the same time I know it’s probably the unhealthiest thing to do"

Being alone is actually a very healthy thing to do, but what you choose to do with the time can make it unhealthy.

Healthy: Spending some time with yourself, feel the feelings, it's part of processing them.

Unhealthy: Trying to avoid the feelings and hide them away.

Clean up the house, set up the toys so they're ready when the kids get back.

Spend part of the day just processing things.

Then, go out, grab cup of coffee, say "Merry Christmas" to some people, get a bit of time around other people, then go home and call it a day.

Take care.

brightongulls · 2024-12-25T21:44:25+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from. I divorced three years ago yesterday and that first Christmas was hard explaining to everyone we’re no longer together after 8 years and two kids. It gets better/ easier after time.

I dont have my kids today either but at least I know they’re having a good time at their mothers and I will get to see them soon. The pain isnt as intense as three years ago but you’ll adjust to this new change in your life.

Best of luck out there and Merry Christmas 🎄

JLALJL · 2024-12-25T19:41:55+00:00

That’s so awesome you guys did Christmas yesterday?!? Did they look for Santa the night before? Leave out snacks?! What were their favorite gifts?! Bet you are excited to get your kids back! Any big plans!! What was their reaction when Santa came?! Ah man oh man I bet that was awesome:)

These are all the things I think about when I miss my two year old son! I also cleaned the house last night bc he woke up at my house on eve and woke up at her house today.

Try not to sit in the shit too long. Clean move go to a store. If you have it finding someone who looks they are in need and give them $50 to their bill.

I’m getting ready to leave my house and drop off Christmas dinner to one of my athletes who has no where to go or a pot to piss in.

Hang in there!!

Masiaka · 2024-12-25T17:58:49+00:00

Take some time to grieve. Cry as much as you need to and care for yourself. If a good friend of yours was going through this, what would you do for them? Do that for yourself.

Remind yourself and your kids early and often that you love them. Let your kids know there isn't any war you wouldn't wage or pain you wouldn't suffer to be in their life and to support and care for them, and then follow through on that as much as you can.

Someday your children will be adults. They will look back and assess things for themselves. When they do, make sure they can say that their Dad was there for them, and that they trust and love him.

I know it feels like you're dying a thousand tiny deaths right now, but you are going to rise from these ashes some day. It doesn't have to be today. Grieve today so that you have the strength to build tomorrow.

Two_ents · 2024-12-25T17:36:05+00:00

You're not alone today, just remember that. The kids went to moms last night in my case, and she had to close my time with them with a reminder, and it reminded me what a horrible person she is.

I can't get the words out of my head, playing over and over "You have to get rid of the one you have to get the one you want" well, good riddance to the trash. Here's to celebrating holidays whenever you want, and being the best version of yourself you can be for your kids.

Economy_Blacksmith38 · 2024-12-25T17:23:06+00:00

In the end it’s just a day. Stay within your routine. Journal. Clean the house / apartment. Workout. Practice gratitude for what you have in your life not what is missing. Try to stay positive. The only way is through, regardless of how hard it is or empty you feel on this particular day. Tomorrow it won’t be Christmas and life will move on. Things will get better. You don’t always have to see the end of the path in order to take the next step.

Hope this helps someone today.

doppleganger2621 · 2024-12-25T16:26:33+00:00

Remember that Christmas is whatever day you want it to be. I came from a divorced family myself and Christmas Day was just another day to me because we usually celebrated on some other day.

I don’t have my kids on Christmas this year so instead, this past Sunday, we treated Saturday and Sunday like Christmas Eve/Christmas Day, and we had a blast! It didn’t feel any different. Christmas is whatever you make it.

Any-Fail-890 · 2024-12-25T16:07:17+00:00

Same situation for me, but has to return the kids to mom last night. Almost exact timing too. Separated end of October. I’ve been invited to a few different things today, but I am opting to spend it alone as I do not want to drag anybody down with my emotions today especially. I’m allowing myself today only to be alone and may even have a drink or 6.

OkAbbreviations7449 · 2024-12-25T16:06:00+00:00

Don’t go to the family event if it’s too much to handle today. Is it healthier to stand in front of your family and explain all of your problems on Christmas Day? Just realize that this is totally temporary. This may be one or two Christmases without your kids. But are you a consistent dad and are you consistently in their life? You’ll be fine man, this is temporary. Get your divorce over with and get the best agreement and get on with life. Take care of yourself today and don’t get drunk :-)

DarkKn1ghtyKnight · 2024-12-25T16:02:24+00:00

Second missed.

Two years in.

Still no solid end.

Special_Profit4509 · 2024-12-25T15:58:13+00:00

It's a sad day only if you let it, learn to not care about the date and celebrate every moment you get with your kids. Honestly meditating and praying have got me into a good mindset of appreciating everything I still do have.

Title	Christmas without the kids
Author	Fluid-Translator-160
Upvotes	22
Comments	17
Date	December 25, 2024 3:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hm33c6/christmas_without_the_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/christmas-without-the-kids.1539482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539482

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