Why are men who have never had sex painted as right-wing misogynists?

xvszero · 2025-02-27T16:43:16+00:00

Well, obviously anyone can end up an older virgin. I'm super left leaning and was a virgin until 30. (Albeit I wasn't super left leaning that whole time.)

But I think what often happens with a lot of "incels" is they struggle to figure out why it isn't happening for them and end up buying into the red / black pill narratives, which are very right wing and hateful. And they form these communities around this stuff so they end up the most prominent virgins (online anyway). A lot of them also actively harass people, especially women, so they are the ones most people end up having interactions with.

Which means unfortunately people make assumptions.

rbkforrestr · 2025-02-27T17:53:36+00:00

They aren’t. Also, most virgins aren’t incels. The lack of sex isn’t what makes an incel an incel, it’s the rhetoric they subscribe to.

Ochemata · 2025-02-27T18:23:02+00:00

I am a man who has never had sex and literally no one has ever accused me of being a misogynist.

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2025-02-27T17:31:31+00:00

Nobody sane and emphatic thinks virgin=incel

Btw I wish you good luck!

senorbuzz · 2025-02-27T18:07:15+00:00

I think you’re getting stuck on the term “incel” as it does technically mean involuntarily celibate or someone who is a virgin and doesn’t want to be. However, the “incel movement” was adopted and morphed by angry young men who fell into misogynistic echo chambers who were then preyed upon by hard right wing grifters and politicians. The “red pill” was these men being pushed into believing their virginity was the fault of all women and other outside factors.

There’s a good article here with an interview with the woman who coined incel decades ago as a term to describe herself and others who have struggled to find intimacy. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455

Fuzzherp · 2025-02-27T17:09:14+00:00

I think it’s just the incel stigma really.
It really depends on where you are online and how aware they are of incels and what they know. Unfortunately since that community has been very vocal and visible these past few years people tend to to make reactionary assumptions.

That being said, thanks for seeing the subculture for what it is.

meleyys · 2025-02-27T16:25:41+00:00

While virgin-shaming is a thing, I know of no stereotype that virgins are necessarily right-wing.

PhyPhillosophy · 2025-02-27T16:27:50+00:00

Incel was originally used as a self identifier term for incel people.

Red pill and incel came to the public eye around the same time, and incel essentially became the derogatory term to call anyone that talks about red pill type stuff.

Incel now means someone who says redpill/misogynistic stuff - and has nothing to do with actually being an incel. Except, since these people who say redpill stuff tend to place alot of value on getting laid, it's a relatively good insult to them since it basically is just saying no bitches.

However, I personally think this coopting of the term incel is rather harmful, as there is a large portion of the population who literally are involuntarily celibate, who are now demonized with the word, when they've done nothing wrong.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2025-02-27T18:03:02+00:00

Thats probably the loudest involuntary celibate men tend to be right-wing misogynists. And part of human nature is we tend to generalize and like to categorize.

lil_kleintje · 2025-02-27T18:10:23+00:00

Because incel to rightwinger pipeline is extremely common, unfortunately

AccomplishedFace7519 · 2025-03-01T00:47:03+00:00

Don't believe the superficial society bullshit around you about sex because I am a 45-year-old female who would do anything to be a virgin again.

A lot of people destroy their lives by rushing into sex so they end up losing their virginity with the wrong person.

There are some dumbass people who actually believe that a man's virginity is less valuable than a woman's virginity. This is nonsense because we are all equal in value so we all have the right to choose when and why.

A person's sexual interest in you does not mean that you are the problem so never assume this. Do not allow the fact that you're still a virgin to see yourself as someone of less value because I can tell you that a man in his mid 20's telling me that he was still a virgin just before the act was one of the biggest turns-ons that I have ever experienced! The only reason why I chickened out was due to my own self-assessment. To cut a long story short I am too much baggage and I told him this immediately after stopping us. I saw him as superior to myself because he was a virgin and I was not. He now has a beautiful wife who I see every day because their son goes to the same school as my son.

Stay blessed! x (also to anyone else on here with the same concerns because you are all beautiful! x)

HLMaiBalsychofKorse · 2025-02-27T17:24:33+00:00

Nobody is painting all men who haven’t had sex as incels. After all, how would I know you have never had sex if you didn’t tell me?

Guys who incessantly talk about how they “cant get laid” and claim “I don’t hate/blame women” (as though that’s a normal thing to have to say) and then talk about the fact that they get physically ill seeing happy couples…those are incels.

LolaBijou · 2025-02-27T20:42:09+00:00

They aren’t. Just incels.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2025-02-27T21:23:42+00:00

Only the ones who act like it and shout bullshit. If you don’t do that, no one is going to think you’re weird.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2025-02-27T22:15:47+00:00

don't worry about the word "incel". That word came from a subculture of very angry entitled guys that used that word to describe themselves.

When people use that word to describe a guy, it's usually due to the weird entitled hostile things the guy says.

anyways, what is your area like, small town, big city, industrialized, collegy, suburby?

KingKunta2-D · 2025-03-01T02:22:04+00:00

No no the chicken before the egg.

Everyone starts as a virgin first.

First the charismatic people lose it then the hot people, then after that everyone else. Starting first with the men who respect women And aren't hard to look at. Descending from there on.

Until you got the incel. Then it's just antisocial dudes that are average looking And resent women for not getting the sex that they were told they could get when they got older. And then they just get uglier and uglier and have that attitude.

Complete bottom is An ugly person inside and out.

2025-02-27T22:51:46+00:00

Well I do declare we got us a gentleman here ladies. He feels women have the right to say no.

featherblackjack · 2025-02-27T23:42:02+00:00

Cool, you are normal who doesn't hate the rest of the world. What is it you want by this?

EdgewaterEnchantress · 2025-02-28T03:40:17+00:00

It cuz a lot of INCELs fall down the alt-right pipeline, unfortunately.

That said, a guy isn’t automatically “a misogynist” just cuz he’s a virgin.

Frankly, that sounds absurd to me, as guys can choose to be virgins / wait for the right person, or choose not to have sex for various personal reasons.

That doesn’t automatically make them “an INCEL” cuz they are making a personal choice not to have sex, meaning it’s not “involuntary” if it’s a choice.

imhereforthemeta · 2025-02-27T16:51:38+00:00

Find me an example of people talking about male virgins this way.

The only guys like this that get attacked our men who pretend like they’re inability to find a partner is women’s fault- which by default falls into a right wing ideology bucket

pridejoker · 2025-02-28T18:29:02+00:00

Incel only official when you start accusing the women as being 100% for not giving your dick a break for being mediocre.

Normal-Sprinkles1449 · 2025-03-03T13:17:44+00:00

Anyone that says things that seems somewhat traditional is considered right wing nowadays. The concept of virginity after age of consent is damn near a right wing talking point. Don’t even consider talking about virginity until marriage.

Duarte-1984 · 2025-03-24T06:44:07+00:00

Tudo bem ser um homem virgem, o problema seria se você se intitulasse "incel", o que é um imenso fracasso. Existem homens virgens que não ficam na choradeira de responsabilizar o mundo e as mulheres por sua falta de acesso a afeto e sexo.

Gostei de sua forma de pensar.

azucarleta · 2025-02-27T16:27:51+00:00

Traditionally, only people who followed the rules of the patriarchy closely were "saving it for marriage." And that's a conservative impulse, to follow the rules of the patriarchy closely.

However, it's a newly emergent thing that we have men embracing an identity around their virginity. So that identity is still forming, being fleshed out, understood both by those who choose the identity and those who don't. Cultural negotiation, you might call it.

Whether "incel" becomes a term that means one particular thing and is recognizable by most, or in the future or goes the way of "Water head," an antiquated insult I encountered yesterday in a some writing from the 1980s, only time will tell.

Think_Travel5752 · 2025-02-28T16:05:11+00:00

I only hate that the women who likes me is little bit interested in me and if she doesn’t get any benefit from me, she abandoned me

EnricoLUccellatore · 2025-02-27T17:05:58+00:00

Because feminists wanted to make some far right terrorism attacks about them so they started a smear campaign against incels

Title	Why are men who have never had sex painted as right-wing misogynists?
Author	samof1994
Upvotes	40
Comments	66
Date	February 27, 2025 4:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1izjjdu/why_are_men_who_have_never_had_sex_painted_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/why-are-men-who-have-never-had-sex-painted-as.1545114 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545114

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