Do you ever find your way back to each other (for good)?

Mymindisgone217 · 2025-04-16T08:23:26+00:00

I went into my second divorce hoping that this would happen. Made a couple of trips to see herThat was until I learned about the other guy she was with, while still not having filed. I didn't want to hold onto that hope anymore and ended up filing for the divorce.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-04-14T23:51:50+00:00

That’s what I think most of us feel early on. You don’t want to accept that she has lost attraction. And you may be wrong about infidelity. I was. It turns out most women can’t leave a man without another lined up. They view it as a “safety net”. Later you’ll come to realize how this makes you lose respect for how emotionally immature she is. But maybe your circumstances are different than 90% of the comments here.

southass · 2025-04-14T16:55:04+00:00

Don't do that, been there done that and it will suck again, do you really want to go through the same heartache again?

Indepedence-david · 2025-04-14T15:50:39+00:00

Is painful to admit but is done . Just work on yourself

ArizonaSpartan · 2025-04-14T02:27:38+00:00

Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.

Icerunner45 · 2025-04-14T01:53:57+00:00

I don’t think so. As much as I’ve hoped for it and remained peaceful, she hasn’t. She kidnapped our kids and tried to permanently move them in with her mom 5 states away. She’s tried to ruin my career and put me in prison with false accusations. Started with I don’t do enough dishes or validate her feelings and ended with claiming I raped her because she didn’t want to be pregnant with our last kid 6 years ago. She kept escalating the false accusations when none of them worked. She’s been extremely high-conflict the last 8 months since I’ve had sole custody. She demanded a protective order with the military when the civilian side wouldn’t give her a restraining order. She was found to be guilty of emotionally abusing our kids, but still claims I’m the abusive one somehow. The kids want to be with me and not her…She admit to alienating them from me. She secretly changed their schools, healthcare, daycare…everything. But she still claims I’m the high conflict one.

All that to say, I’ve wanted who I thought she was to come back. She’s not that person. She’s shown she is an extremely evil, abusive, self-centered woman. Why would I want that back?

CRobinsFly · 2025-04-13T20:09:20+00:00

Women come back because they couldn't do better. It's even easier to leave the second time because they have practice. Never give them a second chance at upgrading from you/destroying you.

probebeta · 2025-04-13T18:30:13+00:00

How many eggplants in her does it take for you to not want her back ? Answer is no.

SteveSan82 · 2025-04-13T05:05:29+00:00

Never take an ex back. It rarely works and if she wants you back it’s because no other guy wanted her

Key_Crow3014 · 2025-04-13T03:33:32+00:00

NO

You are not the same as a woman. Women have no integrity or honor, but you mistakenly believe otherwise

It is over. Get over it and heal. Never remarry her.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-04-13T01:35:00+00:00

Divorce is a business transaction, nothing more. You may give a little and realize your ex is actually planning on trying to burn you to the ground. Fight for what is best your children and you.

stevenfernandez247 · 2025-04-13T01:34:36+00:00

If there's still love and respect, couples can sometimes reconnect after separation, especially if no serious harm was done. Taking it slow might help, but it's also important to protect yourself emotionally and legally, just in case things don’t work out. Hope for the best, but be prepared.

tyveill · 2025-04-13T01:12:55+00:00

The chance of ending up back together and it working out are very slim. That doesn't mean you should fight tooth and nail. Try to be amicable about the split, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of as you will feel it for many years. Divorce lawyers can help navigate this and are worth the investment.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-04-13T00:22:39+00:00

Not happening in my case. Even if she changed her mind and decided she wanted to be together again, I don’t trust her anymore and I don’t have those feelings for her anymore.

We’re resolving the divorce pretty amicably so far but that’s mostly because we just want to be done with it and apart. She lost attraction for me and cheated and that killed any attraction I had for her.

masterof-xe · 2025-04-12T23:42:43+00:00

Nope. I'm pretty sure she knew how to push my buttons and know exactly how to make it look like I was the villain all along. Ya thought you know someone.

sludgepress · 2025-04-12T23:33:41+00:00

From my personal experience, I will say this: I was married for 20 years. There was no cheating going on, there was no drug addiction or stealing or anything of that nature. We had plenty of money. We had no financial issues at all….. and just over time, she started to change. And people either change in the same direction or they change in opposite directions. And I am a believer in the idea that unless you can grow in the same direction as time goes on, there’s no reason to keep going. You’re fighting an uphill battle. And most of the time, one of you will have to make a sacrifice that you don’t want to make to keep it all together. And you can only do that for so long. Again, this is just my opinion, but once you go down the road of divorce, there’s a reason behind it. You may be able to fight it off for a while by agreeing to things that you don’t initially agree with, but eventually somebody’s true feelings will come through and you’ll end up right back at the root problem. No matter what anybody says, love is not forever. Marriage is not forever. You can’t be with someone if you cannot stand to be in the same room with them. As sad as that sounds, it’s facts.

Oh_My_Clem1nt1ne · 2025-04-12T21:12:24+00:00

If they left why would you want to? After they found out the grass isn’t greener? You really want to be the backup plan? Screw that. Become the best version of you and surpass whatever version of you they made up in their mind.

HourWorking2839 · 2025-04-12T20:10:41+00:00

If you are the leaving Party, i think your chance is higher to be successful in rekindling. If your partner is leaving you, their mind is made up and it is up to them to chance it.

I have seen it happen. Even remarrying the same person.

idkwhyimaloser37 · 2025-04-12T20:04:33+00:00

Try to be civil and mature About it. Make sure you have a good lawyer. Work on yourself. And maybe you'll eventually get back together if you want to. But, let her go. Be the best dad and grow from this.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2025-04-12T20:03:27+00:00

This is too broad of a question. If there’s nothing monumental why is there a separation? Two people who got comfortable and disconnected? Relationship, a healthy one, takes two committed individual. Perhaps, a break will let the two grow and reflect of their downfall. There’s a possibility there right or we would hope. Gloves usually comes off when both individual feel shame in some way, becomes defensive, take everything said or done as a fight then it just becomes a battle with no end in sight.

jasoncb123 · 2025-04-12T20:02:50+00:00

I became good with just coexisting. our daughters are late teenagers. I don’t press, they know who they are and have their own autonomy to some extent. We actually get along better now it the last 6 months then the last few years. But no, there is no reason to rekindle. We out grew each other and I have no interest in anything more then what we have now

pmbrenner91 · 2025-04-12T20:02:47+00:00

Title	Do you ever find your way back to each other (for good)?
Author	Economist-Nervous
Upvotes	18
Comments	29
Date	April 12, 2025 7:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jxpxqn/do_you_ever_find_your_way_back_to_each_other_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-you-ever-find-your-way-back-to-each-other-for.1549346 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549346

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