28 never dated. No social life. Where do i start

chamcham123 · 2025-07-10T03:10:24+00:00

Dude start small. Just make yourself say hi to one woman a day. Eventually progress to small talk with one woman a day. Getting more comfortable around women is a crucial first step.

jsb217118 · 2025-07-10T02:21:02+00:00

Well you’ve got me beat in some regards. I live in the suburbs and it is a social desert. You by comparison live in the land of plenty

Yaskueforeverbang4kt · 2025-07-10T04:07:33+00:00

Fix your social life first find a hobby

YungE_Coli · 2025-07-10T13:57:27+00:00

I'll get downvoted to shit but you're a computer science guy, who is very successful, you like in NYC. But you've hopped on here to ask where to start since you have no social life.

Surely you're smart enough to know that you'll need to go to social environments to improve this no? Like you're literally in NYC, there has to be something.

- If you're into music, find gigs of artists you're interested in and go to those, super easy way to meet likeminded people.

- Going to bars and not drinking alcohol is also allowed, it would probably be a catalyst for conversation.

You mentioned in a reply that you have no problem talking to women, so in that case just go to places you enjoy going to and talk to the women there if an opportunity presents itself.

lavellj048 · 2025-07-10T04:35:38+00:00

Welcome to the club! But all seriousness, it's all about focusing on yourself first and making the proper adjustments

CompletelyPresent · 2025-07-11T11:22:20+00:00

It's fine to not drink.

Here's where to start:

Get involved in a few things. Whether it's yoga or a weekly beach clean up, you need to become an interesting person. Plus, you can meet people this way.
Be the person that TALKS. TRY! You absolutely have to talk to almost everyone you meet. Become curious about people.
Start with the new identity you want to have: That of a highly social person; and take the hard steps to become that.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-07-10T13:20:56+00:00

OP, you're in NYC. There are pretty much no streets more active than yours in the entire country, and at all hours of the day. Go outside and talk to people. Just because you spend a lot of time online doesn't mean you have to rely on internet to find dates. Again, NYC. You should have no issues at all finding someone without having to rely on apps.

flavorofsunshine · 2025-07-10T09:11:18+00:00

Go speeddating a couple of times just for the experience, don't expect to get any matches.

KenworthW900L_ · 2025-07-10T07:35:55+00:00

So I read here you gave yourself pretty much time for your body and carrier improvements. That's great. But maybe it's time to improve your soul? I mean it worked for me. I was focused on money, efficiency, all sorts of studying but it didn't give me the happiness I wanted and the real love I craved. Sure, I achieved much but that wasn't it. The relationships I had with friends and not only, were actually crap. So then was the moment I told myself: it's time to wake up, to find my soul. So it kinda worked for me, that's why maybe you should try it

You also said you are proud of what you've done. That's great too but maybe the key is to start with being more humble. I mean you must've been humble all those years at the gym. But I mean in relationships. Hope you get there buddy. Wish you love

Qwertyuiop5_4_3_2_1 · 2025-07-10T20:53:55+00:00

Hey man I was you once. Virgin at 28. Now I’m 31 and engaged. Don’t give up

Hot_Lead_7335 · 2025-07-10T07:09:49+00:00

Goddamn bro youre living my dream. I live in la and I'm broke and can barely afford to hang out with friends. And I have to go to work everyday to a demanding job barely making anything. And I'm the same age as you.

I'd love to live in NYC.

RubenAndJavi · 2025-07-10T09:38:09+00:00

I would recommend to try salsa/bachata classes.

Now, I don't recommend you to just hit on the salsa/bachata girls directly. At first, you won't be a good dancer, they will probably dance better than you, so your probabilities of seducing them are slim. And this is a hobby where you'll see the same people again and again, so it won't help to develop a reputation of being "that guy".

Go to the classes, become good at dancing, and then you'll find that with some girls there's natural chemistry. My recommendation is: if that happens, go for it.

With other girls, you'll become just friends. You may eventually enter into a group of friends with a good percentage of women in it. They will bring girlfriends of theirs, and introduce you to them.

And if all of that fails, at least you'll be good at dancing, which will make you much more attractive to basically all women on the planet.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-07-10T03:25:35+00:00

Get a social life.

You know all this shit?

But now I have lost 90lbs and started building muscle. I have a job, work from home that brings me 200k a year. I have 250k worth of stock and whatnot. I started taking care of my skin by wearing daily sunscreen and doing my skin routine as well as doing cosmetic procedures such as microneedleing and mesotherapy

Nobody cares. You've spent the last few decades of your life entirely self absorbed, and you need to learn right now that nobody cares. People care about how you make them feel when you're around them. If you want to have a social life and eventually start dating, that is where your focus now is.

Responsible_Low3349 · 2025-07-10T04:15:42+00:00

Never go out Stay inside. Don't socialize. Outside be monsters.

Don't worry. It will happen when you least expect it.

VirtualMongoose7131 · 2025-07-10T02:53:01+00:00

Talk to me in private or add me on snapchat ! If u wanna talk ofcrs

LordPoopyIV · 2025-07-10T08:34:43+00:00

I would follow the stylelife method, pdf on google. He's a good writer who understands PUA but coming at it not as a pua himself but a guy like you.

jamesfalken · 2025-07-10T12:36:47+00:00

Go abroad if you can (you say you work from home). It’s going to be the superior option at this point in your life.

srikrishna1997 · 2025-07-10T14:54:22+00:00

It's me and just start working out it's only best thing

Bitter-Theme-1487 · 2025-07-10T19:17:30+00:00

Look at the sky 🌌

Throwawayphilly0 · 2025-07-11T13:17:53+00:00

Church my guy. Mind as well start off decently since you waited until ya 30s, wtf.

PepzSecretLife · 2025-07-11T13:22:25+00:00

first, join communities that have a lot of women. just to get into the flow of having female influence in large groups. yoga, spinning, meditation. amaterur tennis, padelle. cooking classes , hat crafting classes.

after that you'll realize that you dont want to be around women

Theta1Orionis · 2025-07-11T19:15:07+00:00

Get me a remote job and I’ll bring u to all my parties

ironjawn · 2025-07-11T22:47:05+00:00

What neighborhood in NY? I might know a great bar nearby to go out solo and meet new people

Puzzleheaded-Sun-606 · 2025-07-11T23:22:52+00:00

Go to the gym every day between now and your 30th birthday eat in a 500 cal deficit per day

If you do that with your salary, women will be throwing themselves at you

Advanced-Bag9544 · 2025-07-12T13:07:59+00:00

Start with sport. One group. Go to the same class weekly or twice a week. You’ll get to know people. You’ll start to talk. Meet outside sport classes. Meet their friends, attends sport events. Consider tummy tuck if you feel like you don’t want to be on the beach or sound because of your skin. People like to be around people who are comfortable with themselves. That all takes time and consistency but it allows you to build your own community of people that care about health

bigmanJ28 · 2025-07-12T20:23:51+00:00

YOU: get finances in check, get in gym, nice haircut, that’s INNER GAME 2. start small, say hi to people, women, men, etc. not for getting laid but just do it bc closed mouths will not get fed, 3. Eventually a conversation will spark 4. add compliments , questions 5. Practice charisma: eye contact, social cues etc.

mystic0608 · 2025-07-13T07:16:20+00:00

I’ve perused over your profile and read some of your comments you wrote. I was also a late bloomer, but now I’m getting married this year. First, you look incredibly average. A lot to improve on. But I don’t think you need to focus so much on that. Based on how you respond to people, you don’t seem to be a very fun person to be around. You’re very defensive and too logical. You may be successful in your career and be an intellectual person, but you are very lacking in emotional intelligence. I see one person here offer some very good feedback, to which you ignored. Hope you eventually figure it out.

Emergency-Ad1006 · 2025-07-13T15:45:59+00:00

show them your bank account

Adribus · 2025-07-10T07:26:38+00:00

cold approach in the streets of NYC. as another comment stated, start with a « hi » and progressively go and add more stuff as you keep talking to different women « hi, i thought you had a great vibe and i’d have been ashamed not to say hello »

Lord_Gooseduck · 2025-07-10T07:03:09+00:00

Join a dancing class

Mr_Dixon1991 · 2025-07-10T10:56:57+00:00

Find hobbies and join groups. Your social life will improve drastically.

Kind_Committee7612 · 2025-07-10T20:20:22+00:00

As someone in a very similar position, I’m happy for you and this is somewhat inspiring

Alecgator94 · 2025-07-10T02:53:28+00:00

Honestly hire a hooker. Maybe it'll give you a jumpstart and boost your confidence

MassiveJermes · 2025-07-10T05:54:47+00:00

try ropemaxxing

melitini · 2025-07-10T19:09:45+00:00

Therapy and social clubs, for at least a year. DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO DATING, you can get hurt or hurt someone bc there’s a ton you don’t know nor have an intuition for.

Capital_Pollution192 · 2025-07-10T21:53:47+00:00

Dude looks an money aren't everything. Personality is usually the number one attractant for men AND women. It doesn't matter how rich or handsome you are. If you want a deep relationship and have the personality of a rock you are not going to get far.

Pedro_Moona · 2025-07-10T04:15:37+00:00

Start with dating unattractive girls and work your way up.

Charming_Sport_6197 · 2025-07-10T09:01:32+00:00

You can find transactiona love in the Phillipines, and transactional sex in Thailand. Just remember it's transactional because the minute your money runs out, it's over. As I get older, it's amazing how much the skin covering your face is used to judge your as a person, to categorize you in many ways. You were randomly given your looks. If you're can't do anything to change that, accept the facts and live your life accordingly.

Title	28 never dated. No social life. Where do i start
Author	Some_Cat3514
Upvotes	156
Comments	94
Date	July 10, 2025 2:13 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lw155c/28_never_dated_no_social_life_where_do_i_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/28-never-dated-no-social-life-where-do-i-start.1556760 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556760

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