Wife left me, I'm empty inside

Strange_Button_3330 · 2025-07-17T17:38:22+00:00

I feel you dude.

The things that helped me:
- talk to your Dr. if you need help sleeping for the first couple of weeks. Sleep is number 1.
- Start a journal and dump your thoughts there. It helps clear the mind.
- read up on Stoic philosophy. "This too shall pass." was my mantra when things felt unbearable.
- exercise. get outside and move. Lift heavy things.
- avoid all recreational drugs and alcohol.
- lean into your friends.
- This sounds silly: Make a list of all of the negative things about your ex-wife that you can think of. Go back to this list and add to it.
- When the emotions start coming, welcome them. Don't fight them. Once you welcome the tears, they'll come, then you'll be released for a while.
- Avoid contact with your ex. She's not your person anymore - and not the person you thought she was.
- And remember: You will be OK. In fact you'll look back in 6 months and realize how strong and resilient you are, and how this experience made you into a better man. Trust me this will happen.

You've got this - and you're going to come out the other end better off.

silverfox267 · 2025-07-15T14:18:54+00:00

Wow. Mine left me just over a year ago in April 2024. Same thing. Came home one day and she moved out, and left me and our sons. I didn’t realize how common it was, until it happened. Now that it’s been over a year, I started divorce paperwork about 3 months ago. I thought I was over it, but the paperwork brought up new feelings. That said, she hasn’t signed yet, but I realized that anyone who can walk out of your life and remain away, isn’t someone who’s for you. The move in process is long and hard, and I question if I’ll ever truly be over it; but I get closer to being over it everyday. You will too.

ExpiredPleaseUpdate · 2025-07-15T11:35:20+00:00

Let yourself some time to process the news, and as soon as you can start working on making new reality more beneficial for you.

Consult a lawyer, try to figure out what you are looking at financially should the divorce become a reality; maybe talk to a therapist to get your mind in order.

Hippo_Chills · 2025-07-13T15:00:22+00:00

Divine as we are

Green field waits, claim your bounty

Shine yourself anew

AA23_Cell_2187 · 2025-07-13T05:46:38+00:00

I’m less than 2 weeks from finding out my wife cheated and is 2.5 months pregnant. Without talking to me about it she decided her fate and is actively across many states to raise the baby with AP…just a friend. I didn’t sleep or eat for days. You need friends and distraction. I’m finally eating once a day. Still only sleeping a few hours a night. I don’t work so I have to find distractions and just try to exercise. I’ve had zero say and I’ve discarded. My last years have been wiped clean. I’m still figuring it out. Good luck sir.

splitbrainhack · 2025-07-13T04:49:12+00:00

if you need to talk , dm me !! go do something you love and didn't have time to do it before , go walk in nature , go pet some cows ... life is still full of surprises. last thing you should do is to try to find why this is happening... give it time

Evari · 2025-07-13T04:45:02+00:00

As sick as it may sound I'm jealous of you. I'm 10 months out from my wife telling me she wants a divorce but she still hasnt actually left and has no intention of leaving until finances have been sorted out. House is 100% mine but apparently my legal options for removing her are limited. If she had just gone when she first said she wanted to I wouldnt have had the months of "maybe shes just in a mood and can work things out". In a lot of ways I think a clean break would have been a lot healthier.

How I wish my house was empty instead of having an evil presence lurking around every corner. Having to carefully listen to try to figure out if shes in the kitchen or the living room before going in them. Its a nightmare.

Sorry, this probably doesn't help you at all.

Substantial_Dig_217 · 2025-07-13T01:38:04+00:00

Lawyer up and go aggressive on the divorce. She will bleed you dry from this point on. If you think she won’t get nasty, she will.

Don’t take the high road, it may be your instinct but it will do you no favours. She will fight dirty, you need to fight dirty. You can do this man, you were you before her, and you’re still you. You need to reclaim yourself now.

jimsmythee · 2025-07-13T00:30:20+00:00

One man’s nightmare is another man’s dream.

Oh how I wished that when I was married to my now exwife, she would have just up and left. But she had burned through all of her family and friends, and none of them wanted to deal with her.

So I was stuck, until I was left with no choice but to be the one who leaves.

PurrpleCarrot42 · 2025-07-12T23:46:00+00:00

Sorry that you are going through this. Just know and keep reminding yourself that you are way more than just a “husband”.

It is a travesty for this generation of men ( men in their 40s to 60s) that all of our life and identity is wrapped up in being a husband and father.

Make self care a priority. It means - eating right, sleeping enough, exercise, emotional well being - journal , call and meet up with friends and family, see a therapist, most importantly grief the loss of this relationship, but be realistic. Make sure you don’t neglect your job but also don’t let work become your escape.

And if you have children, make sure you take god care of yourself and of them and work on your relationship with them.

You will get through this - countless other men have. This heavy weight or the feeling of emptiness will diminish - slowly but surely. Someday you will even smile, and experience moments of joy and happiness.

ilikemonkeys · 2025-07-12T23:17:12+00:00

Yup. I'm a year past you. I'm better now. I found a therapist to help me. I also trained a ChatGPT therapist to help me throughout the week when I felt down or needed to talk to "someone". Focus on you. Her needs are not important to you right now. You are the architect of your future. You have the tools within you right now to excel through this. Keep moving forward.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-07-12T22:59:16+00:00

DivorceCare.org

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-07-12T22:43:02+00:00

Been through that mate. The best thing you can do is sit in those feelings and do not distract yourself. This is how you heal.

I'm not going to lie it is going to be the toughest 12-18 months of your life ahead. But once you make it to the other side your life is going to be better than ever.

Felixon16 · 2025-07-12T22:07:33+00:00

Man, I’m really sorry you're going through this. Ten years with someone isn’t a small thing, and I can only imagine how much this hurts.

But if I’m being honest with you—sometimes people hide things well, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she had someone else on the side for a while now. I know that’s a tough pill to swallow, but maybe it’s better that it came out now rather than later.

You deserve someone real—someone who’s going to be there for you fully, not halfway. Stay strong, bro. You’ll get through this, and when you do, you’ll be in a way better place than you might think right now.

Fluid_Actuator_7131 · 2025-07-12T20:47:50+00:00

I used the opportunity to convert the living room into a Muay Thai gym for the kids

idiskfla · 2025-07-12T20:41:36+00:00

Do some volunteer work at a children’s hospital, homeless shelter, hospice. This helped me put things in perspective. While my divorce was the toughest thing I went through, volunteering with those in some terrible situations helped me appreciate what I do have rather than focusing on what I lost.

Oddly enough, it also keeps you from being idle when you’re at home, since you have less time to do things for yourself if you decide to be a regular volunteer.

funkboy414 · 2025-07-12T20:28:12+00:00

Empty is good! You can put whatever you want in there now.

tribal-chief556 · 2025-07-12T20:24:05+00:00

I found that I had to always play background noise or music to disrupt the silence. Also found for me that keeping busy around the house instead of letting my mind wander helped some.

wallydog71 · 2025-07-12T20:08:16+00:00

I'm there now. Our is going on 2 months and I don't think we getting any better. Today It's me and the dogs setting in the garage and trying not to let it overwhelm me. All we can do is day for day some are harder than others .all we can do is keep moving forward. Keep your head up

NuncaContent · 2025-07-12T20:07:20+00:00

Hey, I feel your pain. Like others have said, this will pass. But that doesn’t lessen your heartbreak now. I get that.

If you pick up or listen to one book, please read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

See if you can find yourself in the books pages. I reread it every year and I’m astounded by how wide the gap is between what I believe women expect from men and the reality of what they actually want.

Good luck🙏

jbock33 · 2025-07-12T19:46:17+00:00

Allow yourself to grieve. It’s ok to venture to the deep end of your emotions as long as you keep your head above water. Also stay active, even if it’s for a short walk.

ZombieDailylol · 2025-07-12T19:32:38+00:00

What reasons did she give you

GeneratedUserHandle · 2025-07-12T19:31:25+00:00

workout. go see a movie. don’t get drunk.

call friends if you have them.

don’t sit inside and play video games

Title	Wife left me, I'm empty inside
Author	Bulzmachine
Upvotes	42
Comments	63
Date	July 12, 2025 7:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ly8ta6/wife_left_me_im_empty_inside/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-left-me-im-empty-inside.1556988 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556988

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