Sent me a paragraph wishing me a happy birthday 3 weeks after she rejected me. What did she want?

tyrwlive · 2025-07-18T09:56:50+00:00

Attention, probably

floatable_shark · 2025-07-18T10:39:56+00:00

She lost her better choice

Matter_Still · 2025-07-18T10:42:02+00:00

What does it matter what her "point" was? You have two casual dates, superficial by your standards, confront her about an "energy shift", and then when she wishes you a happy birthday, you respond like some high school kid.

What the hell did you hope to accomplish by that? A simple, "Thank you. That was a nice surprise." would have been sufficient.

FurrowBeard · 2025-07-18T10:39:44+00:00

Are you like 19 years old? Responding cold makes it sound like you're bitter.

Ask yourself why you're bitter about a relationship that lasted two dates and was ended respectfully.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-18T11:15:20+00:00

"If people are nice to me, they must want something in return or have a hidden agenda". "No way someone can be nice without wanting to get something from it, because i wouldn't give something valuable to someone out of generosity".

This transactional mindset doesn't reflect who she is, it just reflects who you are as a person.

AyiHutha · 2025-07-18T10:36:32+00:00

Just ignore her.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-18T13:07:33+00:00

She is wishing you happy birthday as a human, not a potential partner. Whether it's for attention or common decency, who knows? who cares? Don't overthink it and move on. The fact you are reading into it like this shows the same type of urgency that likely made her give you the "it's not you, it's me" routine in the first place.

Ok_Potential359 · 2025-07-18T12:05:24+00:00

The difference between men and women is that women often have multiples more options in being hit on and can be indifferent to outcomes.

What you would consider semi serious is just another Tuesday for her because she gets way more male attention.

Best advice is to just go cold and not react emotionally. Be indifferent about her and don’t get so attached to the outcome only a handful of dates in.

Best move now is just to fuck off. Focus on someone/something else. Once I started to look at women like cat theory and how cats behave, everything started to click with me. Always pull back.

HazyAttorney · 2025-07-18T14:24:36+00:00

Some people like being nice.

Cloutweb1 · 2025-07-18T10:47:15+00:00

Attention and a Friendship. Move on, immediately.

Smoovenelz · 2025-07-18T15:05:24+00:00

WTF do you mean??? it’s your birthday. She can’t wish you happy birthday cause she don’t wanna fck?

MagmaTroop · 2025-07-18T11:00:49+00:00

Don't overthink it. If she has got in touch then at the very least she be thinking about banging you. Keep texting her, wtf do you have to lose? "Oh I don't want to give her attention if that's all she wants!" So fucking what bro, who cares, life gets better when you become a man who is not emotionally dependent on always getting positive outcomes.

EDIT: just realised you replied with something cold. Nah you've blown it already, now you look like a kid. Don't be so sensitive next time.

Ok_Play4544 · 2025-07-18T17:34:15+00:00

Appease guilt!

sole21000 · 2025-07-18T10:12:54+00:00

I think the attention angle is just overthinking it unless she engages again. Totally possible it's exactly what it says on the can; she learned your birthday during the conversation and wished you happy birthday in passing because she remembered it or was reminded somehow. If that's true it'll likely be the last you hear of her.

If she engages one more time unprompted in the next month or so, then yeah she's probably hungry for the attention.

Thierr · 2025-07-18T09:51:53+00:00

She was being a nice and decent human being and trying to be friends. U should try it sometime! Why the f would you reply cold to someone being sweet....

Prestigious_Bed9116 · 2025-07-18T13:07:48+00:00

Textbook attention seeking and manipulation. Obviously a game of power, the only advice you should listen to is ignore her and turn the tables in your favor, be cocky, a bit of a asshol too and see where it goes, you got nothing to lose either way.

guitaristbyheart · 2025-07-18T13:22:24+00:00

Your mind is stuck in an open loop...Don't try to find any meaning in that action…that's sort of breadcrumbing...she doesn't want to be with you & won't even let you forget her.

Block her if you want to..Protect your mind at all cost.

bluecollarx · 2025-07-18T13:54:29+00:00

Control

bluecollarx · 2025-07-18T13:58:44+00:00

Control

Mouse_God · 2025-07-18T19:49:04+00:00

Don't you dare message her before she writes again.

If she writes again, escalate a little bit.

ArmiosDeBanditos · 2025-07-18T10:29:43+00:00

attention

Elpadre30 · 2025-07-18T11:02:47+00:00

seaking attention on your birthday is crazy

Loud_Contract_689 · 2025-07-18T14:21:46+00:00

She has some attraction toward you, she just needs you to give her the time and space for her to develop feelings for you. You responded perfectly to her birthday wish.

New_Banana3858 · 2025-07-18T10:26:49+00:00

whenever a woman reaches out to me, after going cold.
i ask her,
What are you hoping to get out of this?
have you changed your mind about us?

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