How did it end up playing out after the fact? Did it help in any way?

I don’t believe it is right or okay to cheat in a marriage, I will start by saying that. But the attraction between me (35M) and my wife (31F) has been waning massively in the past few years. I don’t know if we really knew what we were doing when we got married. I feel like we may have gotten married more so out of pressure and less because it was the right thing to do.

My wife liked to workout in the beginning but stopped almost cold turkey after we got married. That, coupled with the fights and the overwhelming anxiety and depression of it all has made me want to get a divorce for some time now. I also want to start a family but she has doubts about having kids with me. Which is fair, I don’t know if it would be wise to have kids when the fights are so bad sometimes…

I have thought about other women quite a bit, but never done anything to actually cheat per se. I tried to get us through our issues through counseling. But I can’t say it’s been helping.

I would not be able to live with myself if I cheated, but I do feel tempted at times. I feel like the fact that I didn’t have sex until I was 25 might be a contributing factor. I slept with like 12 women in the 3 years before I met my wife at 28. I met my wife a few months after the longest relationship I had been in up that point had ended (1 year) I slept with a few other women before I met my wife, and I moved in with my wife two months after we met. I feel like a part of me misses the freedom of not being tied down given that it doesn’t feel like things are going anywhere…but I’m afraid to leave because I invested so much into her (financially). But we don’t have a home, her car is paid off, but I don’t feel accomplished at all…fuck.

Have any of you stepped out and did it give you any clarity or just make everything 10X worse???