How long after divorce…

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-10-09T21:57:14+00:00

It took me about 3 months to start wondering about new pussy.

Titan22_ · 2025-10-08T01:35:52+00:00

My question to the same topic is not when….but how. I am 40 and was married for 20. I am introverted and honestly kind of boring now. I really find it peaceful to be at home, wearing comfy clothes and working on things around the house. I like to eat at home and not out. I like to drink a couple beers in the evening, binge watch movies and go to bed at a decent hour. Considering that a small part of why my wife and I are divorcing is because she feels like there’s too much in life still missing out on, and I am fine letting life pass me by the way everyone else is living it. I am nowhere near thinking next step but had I thought about trying….. I just don’t know what luck I’ll ever have. I am just super content being me and “boring”.

probebeta · 2025-10-07T20:41:00+00:00

If you feel like meeting women go do it. There is no set amount of time you have to wait. If you start with low expectations you won't be disappointed.

I'm following the common advice "watch what they do not what they say". There are a lot of good women out there but patterns don't lie, and you learn to recognize them... It's difficult to let them come close. Some will walk away, and you have to be ok with that. Welcome to dating 2.0 😅

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-10-07T12:24:40+00:00

Was in a relationship 3 weeks after getting apartment. Was a great distraction and I did I like her. Ended after a year due more to circumstances. Took circumstances in to account on 2nd dating cycle and it definitely took longer to find a good fit

Totesmagotes24x7 · 2025-10-07T05:28:42+00:00

I want to get back out there now however I'm still going through the divorce and healing process. I won't be officially divorced until next September at the minimum so I'll have almost a year and a half under my belt. I'm a pretty active person with a high lebido so I'm definitely looking forward to getting back out there however unlike my 20's I'd like go for a connection rather than a random hookup. We'll see how it goes though.

mgray1425 · 2025-10-07T05:05:36+00:00

My(60M) wife(53F) moved out 16 months ago. The divorce could be final within a month. I am not actively trying to meet new women. My STBXW and I have two adult children together and two grandchildren. We are amicable which makes it a little weird to be honest. We've been together for thirty years and things just ran their course. I will want another relationship at some point. I expect my STBXW to not take it well even though she is the one who filed for divorce.

NotDefensive · 2025-10-07T04:47:53+00:00

1.5 years. Wasn’t looking to date even then, but I met a woman on a hike and we started talking. Then started dating. It’s been so simple. Being around her gives me energy instead of taking it away, such a difference.

johnsonhill · 2025-10-07T03:30:02+00:00

There were 21 months between her leaving and when everything was finalized. I downloaded dating apps the Tuesday I found out and had my first date that Saturday. I know I am not good with this amount of loneliness, I am doing better than I used to be but still have a long way to go. I have kissed two girls, and not gone on more than a couple of dates.

tvicl69BlazeIt · 2025-10-07T02:57:23+00:00

Bible thumper here. Been a year now, tried to get back out there after 1 month, tried again this week. Just not my season for it I guess, all I can guess is got a bit more healing to do

Spiritual-Street2793 · 2025-10-07T02:55:57+00:00

I divorced in Nov 23' and still haven't dated. Divorced after 10 years of marriage with 2 kids in diapers. My advice is to take at a minimum 1 year off. Find a hobby, workout, and no alcohol. If you rush into dating, you'll likely get into another bad situation. I read a quote for a therapist who deal a lot with divorced folks and she said, "Dating after divorce is like drinking alcohol and taking pain pills, it might not kill you, but you'll wake up f*#&ed up". I'm so glad I took my 2 years off as it helped me adjust to my new life.

NilesGuy · 2025-10-07T02:04:08+00:00

No rush …don’t even think about it. Use the time to heal , find yourself , reflect and enjoy the gift of life.

ErictheBoogerMuncher · 2025-10-07T01:32:43+00:00

Please take your time. There are a lot of women who prey on men like you. I know you don’t think it, but you are very vulnerable. These women are predators, and they will take advantage of you, drain you emotionally and financially, and leave you devastated.

jimsmythee · 2025-10-07T01:12:35+00:00

I got back out there the first weekend that I got my own place after leaving my wife.

ng_rddt · 2025-10-07T01:01:57+00:00

We often talk about how messed up our wives were, but here’s the thing: we chose them.

So it’s really worth asking: why were we so dumb and blind? How do we know that we won’t make the same stupid mistake again? It’s hard for us to see our blind spots.

And that’s the answer to your question: when you can honestly untangle the stupid in you that caused you to be attracted to your first wife, let her subjugate you, and put up with it for far too long, then you can enter into a serious relationship.

Until then, you can use dating, as long as it is done ethically, as a way to feel around the dark places in your mind that caused you to be so stupid for so long.

Serious_Post_4103 · 2025-10-07T00:34:15+00:00

I waited 6 months after separation. She was gone and made it perfectly clear that she was not in love and tired of me. I’m seeing a very nice woman right now. She actually talks to me like a human and is attracted to me. Two things I haven’t had in years. If nothing else comes from it, I’m starting to realize I was never the problem.

Illustrious_Cash1325 · 2025-10-07T00:15:28+00:00

It's been almost two years and I have ZERO interest.

BornBandicoot2515 · 2025-10-07T00:12:16+00:00

Couple of months and had a fling or 2. But to a previous poster: yeah the quality is not….quality. I have really high standards so I would say the flings were hot but very damaged.

Frankly I’m always curious on the dudes that say they are out “crushing it” - like are you bagging a bunch of 4s that are also damaged? I’d rather be selective and only bag hot damaged goods (I have standards lol). On top of that, who wants to drop a couple hundred on a date with the majority of the women out there? The 4s think they are 8s and the majority are for the streets. And that’s before we even talk mental health, world views, expectations etc.

Dicey at best.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-10-06T23:41:36+00:00

A week after initial shock of separation for sex, 6 months in and month after divorce not yet for relationships, marriage never again. The quality of available women is atrocious now, they all have some sort of damage even if they're 15-20 years younger, someone already broke them for good. Wasn't like that before as far as I remember, the hookup culture ruined them.

Optimism currently at it's lowest. But I know there's a girl somewhere to ruin me again. Fingers crossed.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-10-06T23:40:35+00:00

I waited about 6 months after separation. She was out of the house, things were stable. Got on FB dating and it's extremely easy to meet women on there. I was seeing about 5 girls at once and while it was fun, I wouldn't recommend it.

Date and move on from ones quickly that you don't like or share values with.

Remember, these women are always talking to more than one dude. Just be wise.

911mylifemn · 2025-10-06T23:20:22+00:00

Im wondering the same. Im still in process but likely going to divorce currently separated. 13 years together and im 33. Fighting myself with the thought of getting out there but also knowing I should probably wait despite being lonely.

Plastic_Canary_6637 · 2025-10-06T23:02:55+00:00

There’s no real answer to this question because everyone circumstances are different. What might feel right for me might not feel right to you. All I can say is that when you’re ready you’ll know. Don’t rush the process and continue to work on yourself. You’ll get to a place where you want to date again or maybe you won’t and that’s ok too. Just make sure you’re happy with yourself and what you need out of life

Title	How long after divorce…
Author	WreckedMind99
Upvotes	11
Comments	53
Date	October 6, 2025 10:58 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nzy8rw/how_long_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-after-divorce.1563580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563580

Comments