In a sexually liberated society, I think this is the most essential question to help men decide whether to simply accept solitude and unfair expectations and treatment or actually try to improve.

I don’t think anyone can deny that women are incredibly selective about looks and thirst and simp for men with exceptional physical attributes on dating apps in a way completely different to how they treat average and below average men on these mediums of communication based entirely on appearances.

It also seems social skills and personality help average men irl, and I’ve personally experienced how my bad personality, eccentricity, undiagnosed mental issues, asocial, and sometimes antisocial tendencies have definitely hindered me with some women who had previously expressed interest when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, (though interestingly enough most of my success also came from back when I was the most chaotically antisocial, defiant, and unapologetically crazy without masking or trying to fit in) but I want to know if non-physical traits that women like actually elicit sexual attraction or if they simply compensate for the degree to which a man falls short of Chad physically.

When (and if) you have dated and had sex with a man who would not have gotten that far off a dating app, were his non-physical traits and personality something which actually attracted you or did they simply make you feel comfortable, safe, or compatible enough to have sex with a man that in light of said traits looked “good enough“?

Has a supposedly attractive behavior or personality ever in and of itself made you feel turned on more than you already felt turned on by his looks?

please try and base your responses as much as you can on your most visceral, non-ego-inhibited desires and impulses as possible, make a burner account if the truth makes you feel shame, because I think this ultimately helps determine if men should simply “just leave women alone“ or actively try to “just DO better/step up their game/put in more effort“ and i think both these scenarios are a of a net benefit to you.

I know a lot of you absolutely do disqualify men based of non-physical traits, but is this in spite of or because of your most natural desires and authentic experience with attraction to the opposite sex?

Do they actually make you feel lust or are they just a good bargaining chip to sweeten the deal, extract non-sexual benefits from a man who meets a certain minimum looks threshold?

zero judgement from me either way. I have desires and impulses that society probably should discourage and pathologize since human collectives must repress both the truth and the individual to function and ensure peaceful coexistence. I just want to know the truth about how you really experience certain non-physical traits and behaviors exhibited by men.

Edited to correct a redundancy