The quiet

Trankvilo_1887 · 2026-02-21T02:19:54+00:00

Cleaning up after the kids leave is the worst.

Puzzleheaded_Win4852 · 2026-02-17T04:15:43+00:00

The dead silence was rough at first and now I love having my own space and time to work on myself (e.g working out, reading, therapy, etc.). The way I see it, I want to be my best self the 50% of the time I’m with them. It’s not the 100% happy family life I imagined and getting divorced was not in the cards but this singlehood has really forced me to really figure out me now. And really letting myself be “selfish.”

PostTrenchesDad · 2026-02-16T09:23:50+00:00

One day at a time. Start on creating your new life. Hobbies, friends, getting out and meeting people. Most importantly, look after yourself!

It does get easier. Remember the goal of a parent is their kids will leave the nest at some point anyways. No one's kid stays with them forever.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-16T03:55:43+00:00

Keep your favorite radio station on in the background. Dance and sing along when your songs come up while you clean and pick up the toys.

That's what I do. Hope it helps.

psychcaptain · 2026-02-16T02:02:14+00:00

I plan to get 2 cats when I move out. I figure it is safer than whiskey.

frogmicky · 2026-02-15T22:27:32+00:00

Hobbies, Friends, the Gym, Vacations, Etc.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2026-02-15T21:43:21+00:00

You get used to it.

I'd see those bits of evidence and get a bit down about it, but now I look at them and think 'I can finally tidy up/clean up this place'.

Goya220 · 2026-02-15T20:51:23+00:00

Some weeks are harder than others. I just look forward to when I’ll see my son again. Honestly I leave his toys right where they’re at don’t care if my house looks messy, it’s just a reminder of him. The silence tho, I’ve grown to kind of just accept and lean into those feelings not push them away and try to cope in healthy ways.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-02-15T20:44:56+00:00

I won't say anything negative. My agony is the drop off. The worst part is the unknown. I feel bad for my children. It's two completely different worlds I believe. I know how my ex is. We are opposites. I feel for my children how that transition must be and I worry about their emotions/mental well-being.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2026-02-15T18:33:40+00:00

When my kids leave I get like a few seconds of relief then I miss them.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-15T18:25:28+00:00

The quite is deafening.

Used to hate her bitching, now I'd kill to have it.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-02-15T13:41:29+00:00

That’s the worst part, the worst feeling.
Silence, emptiness, somehow ring the loudest.

This is WHEN your mind starts racing, thinking ,pondering etc.

What helped me—— keep myself busy.
I started volunteering- church,homeless shelter etc.
Try not to engage ur mind with negativity- break away from social media.

Listen to motivation videos- plenty on YouTube.
*** if you are religious- get deeper into it. ***

Surround yourself with positive conversations and company.

STAY AWAY from processed food. Nourishing your mind is key right now.

Your feeling right now is normal. All you can do is take baby steps.

Your mind is your biggest asset right now. And can also be the greatest liability.
Protect it from all the negative thoughts and noise.

I wish you well,my friend.

No-Particular6179 · 2026-02-15T13:21:50+00:00

I’ve made my posts about this before too and I’ve read others post about it. What I’ve picked up from others is playing the kids tv shows while they are away. Then I get some positive upbeat music and I start tackling cleaning the entire place, meal prepping and going to the gym. I’m trying to reframe the time they are away as the time I can recuperate and focus on myself so that I can be the best dad I can be while they are with me.

But I hear you. It’s like a dead silence the moment when they are gone. The laughter and tears are gone. It’s just dead. Almost like you just got out on pause.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-02-15T13:02:44+00:00

I feel the same way and it’s torture for me too. I love the house that feels lived in and full of love from the kids, but without the kids it just feels empty. My goal today is finish their laundry, repaint one bedroom, hit the gym, grocery shop, and get ready for vacation with them next week for their school break. You’re not alone

YetAnother3Putt · 2026-02-15T12:46:56+00:00

It’s really hard. I feel the same way. We do weekly custody exchanges and I’m a mess after dropping him off. The empty house, the toys still everywhere, and mourning the loss of what was. I’d like to say it gets easier but it hasn’t for me. I’m trying to put the sadness into the gym and I hope some day that I’ll be able to move past this feeling of loss every two weeks. I really put myself into being a father and the transitions from single parent to non-parent is so hard.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-02-15T12:16:52+00:00

I love it

I get my kids for a week and by the end of it I’m looking forward to some of ‘the quiet’

Vapor_117 · 2026-02-15T12:14:39+00:00

Morning … what your feeling is real and I can remember the same feelings. I would close the door to my daughter’s bedrooms after they left - just so I didn’t have to see the empty room waiting for them.

That feeling is normal and we all cope differently. For me I dealt with it by staying busy - around the house - work - making plans with friends - dating - and just figuring out how to move forward and be healthy for my girls .

I wish you all the best and I can tell your a good dad just by the substance of your post. The path is forward and taking care of yourself.

Title	The quiet
Author	No_Chemistry8953
Upvotes	34
Comments	22
Date	February 15, 2026 11:48 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r5cpze/the_quiet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-quiet.1573521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573521

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