Keep getting rejected at the club by her friend

Vox_Dissidens · 2026-03-09T11:10:25+00:00

Every time I’ve ever succeeded solo approaching a group, it’s been when I took the time to engage the friend. So many dudes try to box her out, or think they NEED a wing to distract her, but many protectors will chill out if you just take some time to ingratiate yourself to her. Try to think of her as a person, not an obstacle.

My favourite success story was with a protector who grabbed her friend by the shoulders and literally pushed her away from me while saying “go hit on someone else, she’s not interested.”

I reached my hand toward her and said “hey, what’s your name?” And she said “fuck off”. I gave a little wave as she pushed her friend away.

Later on, I saw them in line for drinks. I approached and said “hey bodyguard, how’s your night going?”

She said “Did you follow us? Don’t you have friends?”

“You got me, I’m just a lonely boy. Do you do makeup professionally?”

“No, why?”

“Because you’re the only girl here with even eyebrows.”

She softened and said “okay, that was a good answer.”

The vibe warmed a little, so I asked a few questions - I focused on how they knew each other, how great it is that they’re so close, joked about my own best mate and how we try to help each other decide if a girl is “dangerous” or not. Throughout this conversation, I was making sure to address both of the girls, not making either of them feel left out.

I said “how about her, is she dangerous? Do I need to be worried?”

“She’s perfect and way too good for you. YOU are the dangerous one.”

“Only if she asks me nicely.”

From that point on, there was no more resistance - just joking, flirting and connection. The friend even waited with us for an uber when we left together.

Before anyone says “and then everybody clapped” - I’m obviously cleaning up this story to be more narratively linear. Most nights are full of half-remembered sentences, awkward pauses and yelling “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” over the music. Anyone who tells you a story was all smooth one-liners and perfect reactions is likely full of crap.

Also, luck plays a big part. When I saw them lining up for drinks, I had the perfect opening to queue up right next to them. When I asked her how her night was going, she turned to talk to me. She could have just ignored me and it would have been game over. She could have ignored my eyebrow compliment and again, it would have been game over. Catching someone in the right mood, in the right moment, is not always something you can control.

But regardless, there are some good ideas you can take away from the story:

I never became reactive, even when she was blatantly disrespectful - I just smiled and laughed and offered connection.
I didn’t try to box her out, or convince her that her friend was interested - she doesn’t trust her friend’s judgement, so I engaged her and let her judge for herself.
I validated and empathised with their friendship dynamic. She wants to feel like a good friend - I took away her need to prove it.
I made sure to engage both of them - when one feels left out, that’s when they tend to try to end the conversation and drag the other one away. It also signals social safety, as you’re not trying to isolate her friend.
I never tried to defend myself against her accusations, I just took away their power with a non-reactive joke or by simply moving past it.

Some girls aren’t protective, they’re competitive - which is a whole other mess. Sometimes the logistics just don’t work, or the group had promised to stay together for the night and nothing will change their minds. Again, you can never totally control what will happen.

Still, I hope some of this is helpful.

SleepyOwl420 · 2026-03-09T09:16:28+00:00

Its always the fridge protecting the snacks

Mypornaccuntx · 2026-03-09T08:48:43+00:00

One of the most basic problems outlined in the earliest books 🫂

Trip_seize · 2026-03-09T10:08:24+00:00

Don't just talk to the people you want to fuck. Talk to EVERYONE. (But especially the friend. They hold the key.)

Back2theCouture · 2026-03-09T11:14:01+00:00

The classic “the fridge protecting the snacks” situation.

Current-Paramedic-50 · 2026-03-09T09:23:38+00:00

Emgage the group.

Also make use of false time constraints.

Top-Spread5042 · 2026-03-09T08:35:29+00:00

How are you having fun solo clubbing? Genuine question here

AdBest4099 · 2026-03-09T12:28:28+00:00

I have similar concern like OP + with all loud noises in the club how can we even engage in the conversation ?

Objective-Abies8354 · 2026-03-09T13:55:37+00:00

I was facing the dame issues that you are describing. My solution? I stopped drinking when clubing alone. It works wonders.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-03-09T08:38:58+00:00

How many approaches do you do in one night? Do you stay long with a girl or do you just ask something and go on?

ApocalypticBroccoli · 2026-03-09T16:33:48+00:00

Mystery Method is dated and a bit corny, but his big insight was that you have to learn how to approach groups of girls, because women looking to fuck almost always bring their friends with for a second opinion.

Read his stuff, but don’t give too much weight to anything other than his insight about “sets”.

Jack26918 · 2026-03-09T08:51:36+00:00

Cut the legs out of the fat friend. Explain you're having a private conversation, and ask your target if it's okay to continue talking privately.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-03-09T14:03:46+00:00

Gotta befriend her and act like you really want her to stay. You can flirt with the friends as well, but not in a sexual way. Keep the sexual flirting to the girl you like.

random_question4123 · 2026-03-09T16:40:27+00:00

Best strategy is to be-friend her friend, and also to have a wingman that would distract the friend. That’s the most important thing - the girls went out together to hang out with each other. A man talking to only one girl (in most cases, the prettier one) is actually unfair to the fridge, so it’s very hnderstandable their reactions. Having a wingman gives the other girl the attention she needs.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-03-09T20:02:07+00:00

You entertain the whole group. That's the way to do it unfortunately. It's hard because im not saying doing this will get you in 100% of the time. It will increase your chances but still will be a hurdle. But there's always one girl who makes it the goal of the night to take care of the group. She wont be drinking as much, likely the girl that didnt want to go out but the group did, etc. You gotta entertain the group, because even if you can't entertain the friend or she seems closed off, the group will outvote her if enough of them like you and she already is probably considered debbie downer so she wont want to say anything against the group.

Next time you do that, try to see if you can jjoin her group, maybe have your group join hers. With the groups you gotta get in with the girls, maybe have your boys help you out, etc basicaly have that one girl outvoted.

And uyou never know, maybe if you engage that friend she might chill a bit and actually help you out too. One time i was at oktobertfest with a frined and we got sat next to this group of girls who were all 7 and aboves (maybe 1 was like a 5). At first we were trying hard with them, got nowhere. I sat next to the one friend that clearly got dragged along, she was probalby the prettiest one there but very closed off. So me and my boy kind of just give up and try to enjoy ourselves. Talk shit with other peopl, etc. Thne at one point the girls notice our fun and join in. Again my friend is doing well because the girls next to him are super social, im kind of striking out wit hthe reserved girl but at one point i guess i found something in common and have her chatting about it and after that we were all in.

Usually taht girl who is scrounging up the group is the girl that the rest of the group wishes would loosen up more. SO when you get her to loosen up, they all love you for it.

jordaboop · 2026-03-09T09:01:39+00:00

go out more with your friends it helps trust me.

you need to be able to talk to her friend and give her attention too. if you have enough game and are attractive enough the initial girl will talk to her friend to leave her alone. I've had mostly just girls ask that friend to talk to me to ask her for her number or something.

Your issue probably isn't the friend, its that you're young and probably still need to work on your attractiveness.

TLDR: git gud. actually, not kidding you have some work to do.

vertascend · 2026-03-09T09:41:01+00:00

I was the same; I never club with people I go out and meet people…. This is what you have to consider:

If you’re alone, you want to approach girls who are alone and for that you gotta observe a little before making a move …. Going to a solo girl will yield higher results… here’s the catch, girls rarely club solo because of the safety factor so they have a friend
Which brings me to the next thing, if she’s with a friend, you need a wingman who knows what’s up and can provide a subtle distraction for her friend without making it too obvious
Your other option is to engage the both of them, but all it takes is the shadow of doubt in even one of their minds and it all falls to pieces; if you are engaging both, you need to have strong conversation game; hitting on one while excluding the friend is. Recipe for disaster; engage the two of them and don’t hope for anything; you make the move to leave but take their contact details where you proceed to ask her(the one you’re interested in) out on a date.

Learnt these through the same issues you have, honestly nowadays I don’t go clubbing, I do daygame at restaurants and tourist destinations which I found are a bit of my kinda thing … but yeah multiple dates scored using what I told you… all the best

StrawberryLogical341 · 2026-03-09T19:01:48+00:00

tbh this happens a lot in clubs. the friend is basically doing “group vetting”.

when girls go out together there’s kinda an unspoken rule that they watch out for each other. so when u start talking to one of them, the friend will often pull her aside for a quick check like “u good?” or “who’s that guy?” etc.

a few things might help:

acknowledge the friend early a lot of guys ignore the friend completely, which makes her suspicious. even just a quick “hey nice to meet u too” or small chat can lower the guard a bit.
don’t isolate too fast if it instantly looks like ur trying to pull her away, the friend might step in. sometimes it’s better to keep it a bit group-friendly for a minute.
read the friend’s vibe sometimes the friend isn’t blocking u — she’s just checking if her friend actually wants to talk. if the girl is genuinely interested, she’ll usually come back.

also tbh clubs are kinda chaotic environments for this. ppl are drunk, protective of each other, misreading signals etc.

curious tho — when the friend steps in, does the girl look like she wants to stay and talk, or does she kinda look relieved when the friend pulls her away? that detail usually tells a lot.

SylAbys · 2026-03-09T16:03:14+00:00

The bottom line is..

Do you really want to involve yourself with a person who can't do what they want to do without someone else convincing then otherwise .

Title	Keep getting rejected at the club by her friend
Author	Dependent-Natura
Upvotes	31
Comments	47
Date	March 9, 2026 8:31 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rounm5/keep_getting_rejected_at_the_club_by_her_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/keep-getting-rejected-at-the-club-by-her-friend.1575063 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575063

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