Wife just asked to end our marriage

This-Sheepherder4061 · 2026-04-09T20:18:26+00:00

It’s a painful journey but it will get better - take it day by day and don’t beat yourself up when you have a bad day. I’m currently in the middle of this and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced but the night is darkest just before the dawn brother. Do what you need to do and then start the healing process sir

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-04-07T12:57:13+00:00

I’m sorry man. The best advice I can give you is just focus on your mental health, only take on as much as you absolutely need to, and just keep moving forward.

You can try to get her to reconcile but it’s sounds like she either found someone else or her mind is made up. I understand how devastating it is but try and keep it together. Definitely do not offer to move out of your place, make her move. See if she will go to couples therapy with you, if she won’t do that then hire a lawyer

Just be happy you don’t have kids. I have 2 with my ex and it’s awful bc I just want to get her out of my life and I can’t

MensDivorceCircle · 2026-04-07T07:38:54+00:00

Stop giving her power and control over you… she decided she doesn’t want to be with you within 3 years, this is a blessing. You want a women to be your “fxxk yes”… not your “well, I don’t know” person.

RealDamage007 · 2026-04-06T22:45:34+00:00

Don’t get her to reconsider. She made the decision long time ago. Do not have kids with this person. You are lucky. Believe me. Time to move on. If you’re lonely when you are alone, you are no good. You need to fix that. Don’t fixate being with people as a measure of your worth. I’ve never been happier in my life. I don’t even want to date. Single life is amazing. I go to the gym whenever the fuck I want, eat when I want, house is clean like I left it.

koskesh122 · 2026-04-06T21:09:56+00:00

Well bud, join the club.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
90% of all divorces initiated by the women.
- Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
90% of custody awarded to mothers.
False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts.
- You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP.
- The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy or “The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi”
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanley on YouTube.

Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

mypiesarepiff · 2026-04-06T20:46:55+00:00

I got divorced a little over 4 years ago at age 36 with a 2 year old daughter at the time. Initially I thought like you that it would be impossible to start over. I'm on my second committed relationship since my divorce and my gfs have been much better fits while being younger and more attractive. Keep your head up

DadVader77 · 2026-04-06T15:58:58+00:00

Divorce sucks. Doesn’t matter if it’s 2 years or 20. But in the overall scheme consider yourself lucky. You’re still young at 41, you didn’t get to the point of having kids involved, and you will come out of this better than you think. Just please take the time for YOU and worry about that first. Hobbies, friends, and therapy are the primary focus. Don’t get stuck in the rabbit hole of thinking you have to be with someone to be happy. You want someone to be part of your life, not just to fill a void of loneliness.

pandatitanium · 2026-04-06T15:26:41+00:00

On a scale of 1-10 for this forum, fortunately this one ranks low.

Only 3 years and she’s already done with you… this was going to get ugly if and when kids were introduced.

Getting out of this before the kids essentially just saved the second half of your life.

Accurate-Pilot-5666 · 2026-04-06T15:07:24+00:00

I felt that way six months ago when my wife of 26 years did the same. Now the divorce is finalized, I'm happy with my share of the assets, and I have new friends and new hobbies. When I reflect on my marriage, I realize how many red flags I was ignoring in order to avoid being alone. Instead, I was living with someone who didn't care about me. I won't do that again. I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of dating again, so I don't. If it happens, it happens.

Arboreal_Corporeal · 2026-04-06T14:20:59+00:00

Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom. It's my first day in this new world and I don't know anything.

Terrible-Mind2633 · 2026-04-06T13:48:03+00:00

You’re really hung up on being with someone. Discover yourself for a sec, be comfortable with being alone. Then the next romantic encounter will come from a place of choice and not desperation.

One_Mathematician864 · 2026-04-06T13:42:55+00:00

I understand you're going through the shock now and can't believe the life you imagined and planned for is not panning out.

Take the time to grieve this relationship and this dream life but know there's no such thing as a "normal" life. We all follow our own paths, some with some craters in the middle of the journey. It doesn't mean you are a failure. You only picked wrong. And from the look of things on this sub, you are not the only one with a shit picker.

After you're done grieving, you're gonna start to realise how fortunate you are that she pulled the plug before kids came into the picture and you get to start fresh, with someone new or just stay single and live free and you never have to see her again.

At some point she will change her mind. Please make sure you don't fall into this trap and cancel the divorce. If she told you that she wants a divorce, she's been unhappy for months and thought it through. Even if she changes her mind now, the feelings will resurface and she will have doubts about your marriage again.

You don't want to plan a life and have kids with all the sacrifices that come with it with someone who is not 100% sure about you.

The majority of the people on this sub wish their wife was honest and pulled the plug before kids came into the picture.

She gave you a Alley oop, you better dunk that mf!

Redditneckbeardzz · 2026-04-06T12:21:30+00:00

No children makes things waaaay easier. Time to lock in and be your own biggest advocate. Nobody coming to save you. Gym, healthy habits, therapy if you need it (does not make you weak no matter what the inner dude in you tells you). Remember women’s looks fade waaay quicker than a man’s. You got this man.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-04-06T12:15:49+00:00

If you want kids, first, you get a woman that can actually have them with spending tons of money.

warwww · 2026-04-06T12:08:18+00:00

Many here wishes their wives would have left before having kids.

Consider yourself lucky. Now you get a chance to find someone that may hold true to their vows and would love to start a family. Now you get a chance to be married and*** start a family of your own. Since the vows mean very little to her, don’t hate here just treat it as a simple boyfriend/girlfriend breakup….get the process over with as quickly as possible without animus and move on very quickly.

UrAristotle · 2026-04-06T12:03:39+00:00

She’s been thinking about this for a while. She may have second thoughts, but prepare yourself for her to commit to this decision.

You’re getting a reset. You’re going to find plenty of 30-somethings interested in starting families. I’m 56 with an 11 year old and 13 year old. You’ve got plenty of time.

crzapy · 2026-04-06T12:01:49+00:00

No kids and the freedom to move and reinvent yourself? You're free! It sucks in the short term. But long term you will be fine.

FirelineJake · 2026-04-06T10:25:44+00:00

41 with no kids and the freedom to finally move where you actually want to be, that's a reset, not an ending. The grief is real but so is everything still ahead of you.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-04-06T08:54:12+00:00

She informed you that she ended the marriage months or years ago and finally decided to let you know.

QuoteDisastrous5224 · 2026-04-06T08:13:25+00:00

it seems you dodged the bullet

Il_Valentino · 2026-04-06T07:58:06+00:00

1) Do not expect her to reconsider, the other gender always breaks up when they internally have already grown distant. She might already be dating/cheating. Monkey branching is a real thing.

2) Modern marriage is a trap. It does nothing but complicate things as soon as the break up happens. Do not repeat this mistake. Since no fault divorce laws were introduced loyalty vows are empty promises until it becomes convenient to separate.

3) Love is a temporary biological mechanism with an expiration date. "Being in love forever" is a disney fantasy. Keep your head straight. Stop making your happiness depend on this lie.

4) I understand your wish to have kids and plenty men become fathers later but we live in an age of childlessness so don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work out.

NOTcreative- · 2026-04-06T07:27:12+00:00

Sounds like the marriage wasn't working. Now you have the opportunity you've wanted to relocate. Kids aren't out of the picture yet.

Title	Wife just asked to end our marriage
Author	Arboreal_Corporeal
Upvotes	29
Comments	44
Date	April 6, 2026 7:13 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sdrts2/wife_just_asked_to_end_our_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-just-asked-to-end-our-marriage.1577272 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577272

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