Hello. 37 male with 37 wife, 4 kids (one at college). So, like most people here, I found this place due to a dead bedroom, and at the very least, an emotional affair (I didn't dig deeper, nor do I really care to).
Wife is the typical. AWALT and all that. I had put her on a pedestal, because I have a low self esteem.
About a week ago, I stumbled in here and read a bunch. I am almost done with NMMNG, and TRM is next. I didn't think it would work, and a few days ago, I went full beta, after being a needy shit for two weeks after finding out about the emotional affair, and everything triggered me (I am a bus driver for a pretty big company, and so is she. I caught her through phone logs, and so every stop I made, reminded me of those logs). Constant phone calls, walls of texts, long emails, etc etc. Needless to say, it didn't end well. LOL
So I figured what the hell. This marriage is shit anyways. Went into IDGAF mode, and trying to watch for covert contracts.
So last night, I tried to initiate sex, and she shot me down, as per usual. I just said "Cool" and walked out the door with a smile on my face and my head held high and started tidying up the house. An hour and a half later, she texted me that she was so sorry that she was mean. I replied with a simple thanks.
Today, we were supposed to go out for lunch, but she failed to return from school and dropping our oldest off at band camp, so we didn't have time. All I said is that when we make appointments, they need to be kept. She started with the emotion bullshit and trying to turn it on me, and I started to defend myself, but caught myself and walked out, as she said don't walk away from me. Halfway down the stairs, she stormed out of the room, and was yelling shit. I just ignored her and got in the car to drive away. Went and got stuff at the corner store, and she texted me that I was a prick. Again, I responded with a simple thanks.
An hour later, I was dropping her off at school, and she was silent the whole way. When she got out, she forgotnher phone, and when I returned to give it to her, she solid thanks, and walked away, but her demeanor was all off, like she's was depressed.
I cleaned the house, worked on our porch, and started to BBQ. She texted me that she was done and needed me to come pick her "fat ass" up, and then sent a heart pic. I just said okay. Picked her up, didn't say much. Just let her talk. Did that all the way home. She sat outside with me while I finished BBQing, just talking up a storm, and then she asked if she could put her legs on me while she reclined. I said it was fine.
Later, I told her I was going to see a movie tonight, and said she could join me. She got pissy and said that I know she doesn't like when I ask her that way (I have done it in the past, but not on purpose. Just got tired of rejection after rejection.) I ignored and redirected. About an hour later, she asked what time the movie that we are seeing is at.
I do plan on starting lifting within the next few days. I had already started exercising and lost 20 lbs before I found this place. Going to go get dental work done by the end of the year, and planning on upping my wardrobe.
Are there any critiques that you may have about my first day? I think I partially failed a shit test, and passed two.
I didnt know how I should react with the leg thing, but I let her because it didn't bother me.
Tomorrow will be rough to not be triggered when I go back to work. I will just need to focus on me and NGAF, I think. I am not going to call her or text her. If she wants to, I will play it by ear.
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