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June 18, 2018
6 upvotes

Been lurking on the fringes of this place for quite a long time now (>1 year). Have read sidebar, and have been working hard but not hard enough. Catalyst for urgent change reared it’s head again today after I became an emotional pressure cooker that couldn’t contain his bitch ass beta feelz.

36, married 5yrs, together nearly 10. No kids, 2 dogs. Fully understand AWALT. My former fake alpha self managed to land a high quality woman and have successfully betafied over the past decade (progressively worse each year until arriving here).

Had a few early Rambo events that nearly led to the demise of the marriage. Have finally internalized that stay plan = go plan. Mastery over AA and fogging when things are calm, but when beta fag self rears his head it gets autistic.

Realized today the STFU doesn’t mean withdraw and be a faggot. In reality, when that boiler clicks on inside the emotional pressure cooker, STFU means keep it to yourself and go lift or do something of value and return when you can address issues from a position of strength and calm.

Presently in a bad place after going Rambo and trying to assert dominance like an autistic fuck. She is “taking space” and thankfully our home is large enough to accommodate her having refuge on another floor.

I’m heavily in her frame right now. I fucked up bad with the Rambo and now I don’t know what to do. Being too absent will be deemed abandonment and met with decreased likelihood things continue (i.e. divorce). Being too present means she feels suffocated and that I can’t control myself to let her have space.

Me? 5’9”, 179lbs, 14%bf. Squat 225, DL 315, BP 175, OHP 115. Income variable (own a business) and varies between 250k and 750k depending on the year. Basically every aspect of my life is in decent order except my autism. I need to go to war on my former self and attack hard. Hopefully she is here to see my transformation unfold, but after this Rambo situation we are at a 2 year low in terms of her attraction to me and our bond.

I’m sure there are questions and some of you will hopefully tear me a new one, because that’s just what this faggot needs right now.


Post Information
Title First Post
Author BetaMaxd
Upvotes 6
Comments 50
Date 18 June 2018 01:23 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204329
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8rvnux/first_post/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret10 points11 points  (10 children) | Copy

Dear online diary,

I have done some stuff. Things got bad and then I did some more stuff. My wife is now is on another floor of the house. I sometimes get emotional about shit. Also, I tend to write vague thoughts about some things and some stuff.

WTF are you asking OP? Be more specific.

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

What is the correct strategy for a post-Rambo moment where you’re entirely at fault, failed to control your emotional faggotry, and said stupid shit that any woman would be hurt by?

Do you stay the fuck away and wait for her to approach you? Just keep living life the best you can while she figures out if she is going to burn the marriage down? Approach her to talk and remain calm?

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is the correct strategy for a post-Rambo moment where you’re entirely at fault, failed to control your emotional faggotry, and said stupid shit that any woman would be hurt by?

An essential part of being a high-value man is Owning Your Shit. When I fuck up, OMS means owning up to it and rectifying my mistake to the extent practical. If my fuck-up was unjustifiably emotionally harming someone, a brief, genuine apology is often part of OMS and rectification.

So apologize if called for, and make sure it doesn't happen again. But do not let it turn into a DEER, a discussion of the event, an opportunity for her to criticize further, make demands or ultimatums about your future behavior, or you making any promises. Use WISNIFG tools to avoid this; deliver your brief apology and leave if necessary.

Edit: and FFS, Negotiation 101: Never make threats that you aren't willing to execute; you lose all credibility and respect, as well as being branded a liar.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

what did you say?

You are very scared of her.

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I’m not as scared of her as I am of what I lose if she hits the cash and prizes button. Business is cash intensive and I would lose just enough to be job hunting. I don’t want to lose the business, so I need to bust it hard to fully capitalize it to the point that her threats don’t freak me the fuck out.

I lost frame over sexual rejection and said I needed our intimacy to be more frequent. Negotiating attraction doesn’t work and I know that. Autistic retard that shows up in emotionally charged moments has no clue. She took it as a threat and doubled down. Called me disgusting and said she would gladly divorce me before caving to sexual demands.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lost frame over sexual rejection and said I needed our intimacy to be more frequent

Welcome to the club. More sidebar. SMV / Dread is your main solution. You also need to reread nmmng and wisnifg. You're feeling guilty bad.

I’m not as scared of her as I am of what I lose if she hits the cash and prizes button

well it is still fear of her behavior and choices.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Focus more on redundancy on your cash situation, instead of trying to control your woman.

Its pretty weak to unload your scarcity onto her, girls hate that kind of pressure and will purposefully fail to get out of the responsibility

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For clarity’s sake, focus on her redundancy?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yours, you fucking dope. You're scarcity mentality is over finances, not chad.

Thats your problem, it's not hers

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take it slow, Rambo. Avoid saying anything to make the situation worse. Give it some time. If the damage is done, then you'll know the outcome soon enough. If there's still something there, you can buy yourself some time to fix yourself.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never make threats that you aren't willing to execute; you lose all credibility and respect, as well as being branded a liar.

What /u/man_in_the_world said but I will extend this further by just don't make threats. Period.

First, you're talking when you should be doing. 2nd, making a threat is a use of strong emotion that is a dead giveaway that you're not the one in control of the relationship. Just more DLV piled on top of shit sack of DLV.

State expectations and execute boundaries.

By mindful that while some expectations/boundaries are non-negotiable, most are commensurate to the value she perceives you have.

This is what got you in your present place of extreme hazard. Red Pill Rambo is executing a Dread Level above your pay grade and now you're paying for it.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret16 points17 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thank you for the edit.

Here’s what I think. Let me know how close I am.

Because you look okay, because you bank pretty well, because you have viewed porn as instructional videos, and because you have not internalized the sidebar...

You are an entitled little fuck that thinks your wife will lick whip cream off your cock because you tell her to.

Well, no she won’t. And the chicks you’ve seen do it in the “movies” are being paid a helluva lot more than your wife and they don’t have to put up with your bullshit between takes.

I’m borrowing a phrase here, but you are a fucking little child with a box of dynamite. Just because you read the caution on the side of the box, you think you’re qualified to light and throw sticks.

Well, you fucking retard, you are about to blow off your own dick.

How’m I doin’ so far?

So, you’re done.

As in, you are a fucking noob and today is day one.

You’re starting from a place where you are fucked up, your marriage is fucked up, and I don’t know how fucked up your wife is, but she may be simply fucking done with you.

That’s your starting point. You don’t get to rush it.

THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHORTCUTS! you dumbass.

So now the stay plan and the go plan, or dealing with her leaving, really is the same fucking plan.

Once again, for drill, YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HER. SHE IS GOING TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS/HAS TO DO AND YOU HAVE TO OWN IT.

Your fucking entitled little ego is writing checks with your mouth that your body literally can’t cash.

Kill your fucking ego, you weak little cunt. Search it on this sub, another sub, google it, youtube it, buy a fucking book about it, I don’t care. Just fucking fix it.

Next, read this.

https://illimitablemen.com/understanding-the-red-pill/red-pill-constitution/

Now, go BACK to the sidebar and start the fuck over. From the beginning. Don’t skip anything, because the shit you skip will be where you FAIL! You know, like you just did, again. How’s that working out for you, now?

Buy 3, 5-subject spiral bound notebooks. TAKE NOTES AS YOU READ! I’m serious. If all you’re going to do is skim this shit so you can check off the boxes when you start whining in your posts, then save us and yourself a lot of time and effort and just get the fuck out now.

Start over at dread level one. You may go through the first 2-3 levels in a week, but READ ALL OF THE ASSOCIATED MATERIAL as outlined because you failed the first time.

DO NOT LOSE FRAME OR PERSPECTIVE on the real situation. Your marriage may already be over. Your wife may serve you divorce papers in 96 hours, you autistic fuck. And you will continue to fail until you realize that YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS AND YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR FIXING YOUR OWN SHIT.

The following should sound familiar..

You can ONLY FIX YOU.

You cannot fix your marriage.

You cannot fix your wife.

All you can do is fix you.

The wife may respond, or not, and the marriage may fail, or not.

BUT IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER BECAUSE THE SHIT YOU NEED TO DO TO FIX YOU REMAINS THE SAME WHETHER SHE LEAVES OR NOT.

So you’ve done your version of MRP and failed, quite miserably, I might add. Now it’s time to commit to the program, pull your entitled head out of your own cunt, grow a pair with hair, and become a man other men want to be, and other women want to fuck. Recognize THAT?

Start over. Take this shit seriously. It’s only your own fucking life you’re throwing sticks of dynamite at.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Reset.

Draw your map, grow the fuck up, and start acting like a man instead of a drunken 11 year old playing with a loaded gun.

Now stop fucking around and..

GET TO FUCKING WORK.

[–]ParaXilo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bookmarking this comment for myself as a reminder. Solid shit.

[–]2235522 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

needed to read this today...

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

And the chicks you’ve seen do it in the “movies” are being paid a helluva lot more than your wife and they don’t have to put up with your bullshit between takes

sadly he is paying his wife way more than porn stars get paid for shoot. otherwise, you nailed it

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol jesus that sucked

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Got it. Thanks for taking the time to explain this to a lowly autistic faggot. Going back to the start.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop the negative self talk.

[–]shinolas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve fucked plenty of normal girls that let me cum on their fave, tits, let me do almost anything I want.

Some women are just cold and boring.

[–]BobbyPeru3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You read , but you failed to practice.

Reading without practice is dead

Faith without works is dead

Quit backing yourself in the corner is my final answer

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m not going to lie, this is one of the weakest and poorest cries for help I’ve read here.

You: “Hey doc, it hurts when I do something.”

Doc: “What are you doing?”

You: “I’m not really going to tell you.”

Doc: “Ok. Stop doing it.”

You: “Thanks doc!!”

Look, if you want good information, you have to give good information.

You’ve been here over a year? Read the entire sidebar? Still being an autistic Rambo asshole (pussy full of shit)?

I call bullshit on one of those. Care to guess which one?

What level of dread are you SOLIDLY on?

What books have you ACTUALLY read? More importantly, which have you read more than once? Because unless you are an idiot savant, you got less than 15% of it the first time through. Are you actually autistic? Asspie? What?...

Your reported stats are okay, so most of your problem is in your headspace. You should be on your 3rd pass through the sidebar by now. Some books will mean more and be more specific to you than others. For instance, I’ve been through The Rational Male 4x now, The Way of the Superior Man 3x now.

You see, after a full year of MRP sidebar you are still performing at the 2-3 month level, so yeah, your year ain’t shit, as you suggested, and your sidebar reading is very weak, at best.

So let’s start over.

Go back and edit your post.

Tell us what you’ve read, what dread level you are on, and describe this situation that led her to seek refuge in a different part of the house.

And for the record, if she has to leave the house to get her space, she’s going to bed a beta that understands her and gives her the relationship feels your internal boilermaker don’t generate for her.

And it will be some orbiter that makes 10% of what you do, because if you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re bank don’t mean shit for relational equity. Eventually, she WILL get what she wants, take a sizable chunk of your shit on the way out the door, and use it to feather her nest with her new branch.

If you don’t recognize some of what I just wrote, you need to read The Rational Male, at least two more times.

Your edit should be all about YOU, and her response. What you think and what you feel are meaningless, as you already know.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

So get specific, or get the fuck out.

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Updated with reading and specific events. Agree I’ve been lazy on headspace and need to re-read. Getting at it now.

I’ve read your post repeatedly and all I can say is thank you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A year into this shit and you're still trying to negotiate desire? Let's say your wife did agree to fuck you more because she doesn't want a divorce. Then what? You have a wife who starfish duty fucks you more frequently just to shut you up. Is that what you want? A wife who regretfully fucks you out of compliance? Negotiating desire (or crying like a baby because your wife won't fuck you) is probably THE worst thing one can do for their sexual relationship. Smack yourself hard in the face and promise you will never, ever do that again.

[–]oneredguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh man your wife left to another floor? So now you have a hall pass? You can finally bring those other girls home?

You know what teh girliez actually respect? When you're bringing home a girl ten years younger, thirty pounds thinner, and she got her arms around you, looking up.

Yeah blah blah blah divorce. Go give away more money do you not even realize how much money you give away now. Nothing there will change.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, did you pee on the wall to assert dominance?

You give way too Many fucks. In fellow DILDO terms:

My dog got out of his leash once. I yelled At him To Come.

He didnt

I came over to him to grab him

He ran home, just out of my reach

I was defeated, he's waiting at the door for me to let him In. Next time it happened?

I ran full bore towards the park with the other dog, ready to have fun chasing the pit bulls.

He ran up and came with me into the park.

you don't assert fuck all

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

STFU doesn’t mean withdraw and be a faggot.

Another man sees the light! We are going to get all of them sooner or later.

I fucked up bad with the Rambo and now I don’t know what to do.

Yes you do. Back off the Rambo and start identifying those Comfort Tests from the Shit Tests. Then react appropriately.

I think this might be my main area of work in my Relationship coaching practice. Start by reading my posts on The 4 horsemen and Building an Emotional Connection with your wife.

Then start offering an olive branch every day. Assume good intentions and assume that it is a comfort test and behave appropriately. What would you do if your 9 y/o daughter was whining and crying about something? You would take her in your arms and reassure her. Now if she responds by throwing herself on the ground and pitching a temper tantrum THEN it may be wise to STFU and remove your reinforcement of this behavior.

When a Beta Bob goes Rambo on a wife who married him because she wanted a Beta to push around and control (and who is not likely to cheat on her) bad things always happen.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

there are three scenarios moving forward.

Number 1) is you as beta, 2) is you as alpha, 3) is you continuing on in limbo (current state)

  1. Beta is easy, you go back to being a good boy, and get what you are given. The easy path
  2. Alpha, is possible, but harder. You have to stick to the plan, and above all else, pursue rule zero to the end. Stay plan is the go plan. Be willing to burn it down. Who cares the least wins. etc etc
  3. Limbo, is the rambo / beta cycle, or the half assed alpha. Its a prescription for pain all around, indefinitely.

You don't mention sex so I am going to assume its a relationship dynamics kind of problem. Based on the info you provide, 1 year of MRP has you right in the limbo zone. Your text tends heavily towards you doing rambo/ beta cycling as you "pressure cook explode", then worry about what you have done. You're in a full tilt battle of the wits.

Prescription from me?

Slow your roll. Up your SMV.

SMV is the trump card in this game.

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sex is infrequent but good when it happens. Presently occurs once a week and, as expected, only when I initiate. Blowjobs happen (mostly during shark week) but not when I’ve recently had the slightest Rambo moment.

Slow my roll as in STFU, be a calm oak in the breeze, continue lifting heavy, focus on having a rockstar year in my business, and destroy the autistic faggot that keeps showing up uninvited to the party. Is that my charter?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

So what do you want from her?

Be honest.

Time, attention, sex, better housekeeping?

And what does she want from you?

Be honest

Better looking, leadership, more money, more attention?

[–]BetaMaxd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Primarily sex. Secondarily time and attention. We have cleaners to handle the housekeeping because neither of us have time for it.

She does work, but earns 1/5th to 1/15th what I am capable of.

I also want children, but recognize that introducing children to a Rambo/limbo situation is just plain wrong. I don’t want to be a beta dad. I want to be a solid rock that is immovable by emotions and such. I won’t even entertain creating a family until I figure this out.

She wants me to be less dominant (because her version of dominant husband right now is an autistic angry fucking loser). She wants to be a good co-captain and give input that’s valued and appreciated on how to set course. Money isn’t something that she is enticed by. Excitement, fun and being generally happy and carefree (things money can purchase) do matter to her, but my historical emphasis on my earning power is misplaced. We have enough at present that there should be no shortage of excitement. I’m not leading her on a journey that she currently appreciates because it’s peppered with autistic outbursts when I feel my grip slipping from the controls.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She is “taking space” and thankfully our home is large enough to accommodate her having refuge on another floor.

This is not the action of a woman who is interested in you nor a relationship with you.

Medium is the message

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed been there before - he needs to assume he is divorced and make all decisions in that frame. Be the single man women would want to fuck.

Stay plan is the go plan....

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You asked her to lick whip cream off your cock and she replied “I’m going to divorce your ass.”

But you say she’s a high quality woman???

She’s not bro. A high quality woman would have done it for you OR rolled her eyes at you, laughed, and then done it later that night anyway.

You’ve got terminal oneitis, and if you’ve already been RP for a year, then there’s no cure.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are a mess. However, you calling her bluff on divorce and her leaving and then coming home was her coming into your frame.
After years of sailing the Blue Boat, the first few times you try to change course will be Rambo moments - or they’ll feel like a Rambo moment. Hold your course.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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