Caught out...

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May 9, 2018

So the wife is browsing through recent amazon orders and spots ‘31 days to masculinity’.

Before I knew she’d seen it she was saying to me “31 days to masculinity?! You don’t need that darling!”

Off the cuff I made some jokey remark about it, but I felt busted. Sad thing is I’d actually made some pretty good gains in the last couple of weeks, which she now probably thinks are from me following this plan...

That evening she gets all clingy and wants sex.

I didn’t put 2+2 together until today that this was probably pity sex...

What the fuck am I supposed to do from here?

Post Information
Title Caught out...
Author GrahamBaby
Upvotes 6
Comments 41
Date 09 May 2018 12:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]SepeanRed Beret25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

So your wife begins to look hotter.

Then one day you find out she's been reading "the 31 day makeover".

Oh no, she's busted, all her dieting and working out and nicer clothing and more effort into hair and makeup, wasted.

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is where doing it for yourself and not her is so important. She can tell the difference.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

Came here looking for a /u/red-sfpplus story about getting caught fucking the au pair in a broom closet. Got a story about a book.

[–]Senor_Martillo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's what I was hoping for too. Dammit.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lame story at that.

[–]2ndalRed Beret35 points36 points  (7 children) | Copy

What are you supposed to do now? Burn the books of course. And drop any lifting routines you've started. Replace the books with a set of more approachable relationship guides that you two can read together. Maybe start with the 5 Love Languages. Whatever you do just bury any sign of masculinity and hope she doesn't bring it up again. Oh and look up a good Appletini recipe. Y'all can share one tonight!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Subscribe to Good Housekeeping. Always leave it out near the bed.

(seriously, who cares what she thinks...)

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"pegging for dummies"

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is the only possible option. Shred the files, burn the comsec equipment and crypto. Call for an evac!!!

[–]markpf732 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes and back to negotiating desire too

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always negotiate from strength. Get angry and demand....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Call in Fire for Effect on your co-ordinates... go out in glory!

[–]ice_walkerHead Negotiator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why is 5 Love Languages not in the sidebar? Good communication and emotional closeness is the key to great sex, I’ve heard.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nothing. You keep going and follow your MAP.

Let her think whatever she wants, you are improving yourself regardless of her.

You say pity sex... I say hamster is running and she is upping the sex. In an autistic way you upped the dread.

Now you know what to do next, fix your OPSEC brother.

[–]SeamusAwl1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I say hamster is running and she is upping the sex. In an autistic way you upped the dread.

yup. Female solipsism on full display... "Why is he trying to improve himself and not tell me? He must wants out, because that is what I would do."

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This right here.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop worrying about her. Yes, fix your OpSec but that’s about it. Become a good enough man that if she “finds out” she won’t give a shit because you are worth it.

She can hamster away anything she sees, good or bad, in your favor or against you. It all comes down to if she wants you or not.

So be the prize. Be the man that the hamster spins shit the right way for. But stop worrying about her.

Read. Lift. Eat clean. STFU.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ya I would have cared about this back in the beginning too.

Ask yourself why you care. Then ask yourself if you care if she cares. She’s probably already forgot about it.

FWIW my copy of Rational Male is in our living room on our shared bookshelf amongst my books.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

She’s probably already forgot about it.

yep, she had a burst of feelz and fucked OP. guarantee she's moved on to "sally is being a bitch on facebook"

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Facebook... the modern day hair salon

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

on steroids and with a permanent record. what could go wrong.

[–]Wolveryn4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Busted? What are you 12 and she's your mum?

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll bet he has a favourite wank sock

[–]rebbit_reddit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“You don’t need that darling”

“It’s not for me. It’s for my girlfriend”

But seriously. I think it’s a good sign that she fucked you. If she had acted disgusted and not fucked you it would mean that she thought you were pathetic. The fact that she fucked you means that either she thinks you’re wanting to become more masculine for another woman and she feels the dread it else she is imagining what you’ll be like in 31 days and she is turned on by that

[–]gameoflibidos4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was gonna roast you some.. but I see everyone has already done that for me.

My wife knows what I'm doing... (i know the mantra here is don't talk about fight club).. and in the beginning was lots of "Did those stupid books tell you to do that?" and other predicted horseshit came out of her mouth... but then it stopped. After you actually start getting it and begin the process from faking to making... it really doesn't matter if she knows or not. if she thinks you got it from a book or really what she thinks knows at all.

Once you look ripped... you're making decisions, running the house and leading her... and you become a testing sponge that just soaks them up and moves on.. it doesn't really matter if she knows how you got there or not, she doesn't care anymore.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t need that darling!

exact same shit test as "i don't like big guys" when you start showing gainz.

this was probably pity sex...

probably not. most likely she just wanted to fuck (newsflash the world does not revolve around you). more likely she sees the train picking up speed and want's to make sure she has a ticket for the ride.

watch what she does OP not what she says.

but I felt busted

i haven't felt this in is so long i forgot what it feels like. i'm popeye the sailor

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn’t put 2+2 together until today that this was probably pity sex...

not necessarily. women are wired funny. they tend to take any and all attempts at self improvement as a threat. they don't assume you're trying to improve for them, but for some other bitch

you're fine

[–]mattizie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who gives a fuck if you found out "naturally" or if you had to learn?

If you become a better man, women will want to fuck you, and that may include your wife, the end result is the same.

While you're at it here's another book for you that I quite enjoyed, "Pimp: the story of my life".

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should do whatever you have to do to make your wife feel as though this new you was inside you all along, and that you didn't just "learn" it from a book.

Whatever reason you have to give for owning the book doesn't matter, as long as she knows that this new masculine you is in your genes and not just some book on Amazon.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, busted.

You give too many fucks. There's a book about that. Perhaps you should order it and read it to your wife.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience pity sex doesn’t really exist. She’s not gonna get herself horny and escalate just because she feels bad. More likely she knows you’re working on self improving, she’s noticing, hamsters are running.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn’t put 2+2 together until today that this was probably pity sex...

Or maybe it was actually dread. Because women know that when a woman decides to improve themselves apart form their partner, it is because they are trying to get apart from their partner. Remember that woman are solipsistic by design and can only really view things from their point of view. Most likely she hamstered that you are wanting to leave so she is trying to keep you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn’t pity sex. Acting a certain way with a women will attract those kinds of offerings from a women.

[–]the_grizzlebee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wife finds "The Art of Seduction" on my bookshelf (it's not hidden, I think it's a cool book, shrug)

"What's this all about, some kind of player shit?"

"It's some prose about seducing different types of women. Would you like to know which type you are?"

The sex was good.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You think that's bad, wait til she finds this place and loses her shit over you getting life advice from a bunch of bitter misogynists.

Why is she in your amazon account anyway?

[–]mrpCamper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"You don’t need that darling!" is really the only reply any decent woman would say.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

keep taking the pity sex until it isn't handing it out

So where the fuck are you at in your MAP ?

What are you stats ?

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Graham? Baby?

You are 38 years old. A father, husband, and a male, trying to become a man.


Google it.

Even better, search for it here, in MRP, and TRP. You will find scores of relatable posts with advice.

In the meantime, stop posting.

You have posted more in 8 days than I have in a year.


Stop typing, start reading, and FOCUS.

[–]BlackFire680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you've reacted to her words, and that's a no-no. You felt busted, but what did you do? You respond to her actions. She had sex with you. Don't try to figure out "what kind of ex" it was.

Do what you are going to do, react only to what she does, and keep on keeping on.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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