If you look back at my posts, I clearly went RR, didn't know what I was doing, and almost fucked what little of my marriage remained. I'm still pretty clueless, but I'm reading, lifting, doing MMA, eating as much food as I can get my hands on (I'm 6'3" and currently 168 lbs, on my way to 190), and I've decided to leave my current job in order to open my own firm. It's taking a lot of time and effort. I'm good with it all and feeling better and better about myself. Catch and release has been successful, which has helped me to start developing an abundance mentality. That's the focus... improving myself, owning my shit, and building a frame that I can hold.
I dropped a lot of the RR, mostly by being so focused on getting my new firm started and making related significant life changes. Sex is meh... still scheduled and frequently starfish. Lifting, learning, and if/when she's attracted to me, hopefully that will improve.
2 years ago wife had a thing with some pilot dad in the neighborhood. Sent him nuddie pics on multiple occasions, and I know she kissed him "once" and watched him jack off on FT "once". This was all pre RP. Long story short, when I found out I bought her a one way ticket to her parents' place and a few weeks later we did intensive MC. Lots of life changes, and according to her, the guy found out that she'd told a mutual friend what happened and he went off on get over it. That was supposedly the end of it.
Background aside, she currently often goes out for long "walks around the neighborhood" at night and gets dressed up to go to the library (to her credit, she does read a LOT, and she's always actually come back with new books)... If I walk into the room she'll turn her cell phone over so that I can't see the screen. Given the past experience and the repeated behavior above I suspect but don't have any clear evidence that she's cheating.
Yesterday she came to pick me up from work. When I got into the act the first thing she said was "look at this, I burned my neck with the curling iron yesterday." Right where I'd give her a hickey on her neck, she has a perfectly round, perfectly sized, dark red spot with a small blister. My response was "ouch." Nothing more. Whenever I looked over at her she covered it with her free hand. When we got home she got a bandaid to cover it.
Inside, I'm thinking....
I worked from home yesterday. I was home all day and I never saw or heard about this.
why would you burn yourself on the front of your lower neck with a curling iron? You've burned your hands before but never your neck, always oval shaped burns not perfectly round, never that raspberry color, you never have a blister or keep covering it like you're embarrassed about it, that's the perfect size for hickey, and damn it, that's all a bit suspicious to me.
Would she actually burn herself with a curling iron to cover up a hickey?
I don't want to accuse her, and I don't want to spy on her... That's pretty beta pussy. But if it's someone else's turn, I want to just know so that I can cut her off and let the next guy be her beta bitch and provide for her. Yes, there are kids involved and if fight hard to keep custody etc. Those little mammals are amazing and I love them to pieces.
So the questions...
Am I being a pussy by not seeing obvious signs and calling her out, or am I being a pussy by getting insecure and making a mental leap to assuming her infidelity without any proof at all?
Do I say anything or do I just keep my mouth shut until/unless I have a smoking gun? Of course, if she's willing to burn herself to hide it, she's obviously willing to lie about it too, so I don't know that addressing it would do anything but show her that I'm butt hurt, over sensitive, self conscious, and suspicious... All of which is unattractive AF. Maybe I just answered my own question... :)
I could download her phone including erased photos, text, and WhatsApp messages, which would either confirm suspicions or set my mind at ease. But maybe that's a really pathetic and insecure move on my part, even if she's done the same thing to check on me and there's confirmed history just a couple years ago.
Ok, go ahead... Tear me a new one guys. And thanks in advance.