When is Reconciliation Worth it?

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April 10, 2016
6 upvotes

I am a long time lurker of MRP, and under a different account you fine gentlemen helped me through the most difficult situation of my life last year (post has since been deleted for privacy reasons). I am hoping I can get some perspective from some of you again. I have read everything on the sidebar, books included, and my own personal development has skyrocketed because of applying the concepts to my life. I can't even express how much you guys have helped me.

To make a long story short, here is my situation:

I am 32 years old and have been married for 5 years. With her for 10. No kids. College sweethearts. Two years ago our marriage started falling apart for a variety of reasons. We were both to blame somewhat (I was not being a leader, was work-obsessed, and failed to maintain frame on some big tests). I take responsibility for that but what transpired is she took a job that involved lots of traveling and this set up a huge failed branch swing attempt on her part.

Sex slowed to a halt. Reason being she was "saving herself" for this guy she wanted to branch swing to. She wasn't open about this, I figured it out on my own. I tried to save the marriage in my BP way (at the time) but after almost a year we still hadn't had sex, she was still in a long distance emotional affair with this guy, and I left her after becoming fed up with making no progress. No kids, no house, we were somewhat nomadic doing world traveling at the time so logistically it was easy.

After our separation we were still amicable but I was a wreck, depressed, and wanted her back. She wouldn't come back and it broke my heart. I stopped giving a fuck. We tentatively decided to get divorced and I started behaving like a divorced guy. Started a new life in a new city. Friends and family were told we're getting divorced. Tinder hookups, etc. I'm a good looking, fit guy so single life is pretty fucking awesome to me after a shitty marriage. I can pull hot 25 year old girls and that is intoxicating after feeling rejected for so long. Our long distance communication remained amicable during this time, which gave her a false sense of hope that maybe a fresh start would always be on the table.

Overall, I faced and conquered my biggest fear in life: losing her (conquering my oneItis) and made peace with being alone in this world. I made it out of the darkness and into the light. Then she shows back up at my door after 8 months of separation ,out of the blue. Crying, begging for forgiveness, willing to do whatever it takes. Willing to live where I want to live, support my endeavors, be a faithful wife. She is staying with me short-term as I didn't have the heart to slam the door in her face. She's throwing herself at me, wanting to have sex all the time, and is pouring her heart out to get me back. It is devastating to me, emotionally. Here she is: seemingly the wife I've always wanted. But obviously trust is shattered. I know she met up with this guy and probably realized he's not the type to commit (he's her Alpha). I'm her comfort, long-term Beta option. Money isn't really a factor here, as luckily she is not materialistic or gold-digging type and I'm not rich. I'm her comfortable, long term husband option who she took for granted. I am smart enough to realize her "affair fog" has lifted and she feels bad about what she did and I'm her oak tree she wants to swing back to. Obviously I have a soft spot for her, as I spent a third of my life with her and we have countless awesome memories together.

On one hand, I realize how absurd a question it is to consider taking her back. But I realize that even the next woman I'll have to deal with AWALT behavior too and maintain a Captain/First-Mate dynamic from the start, and bank on the fact that I do not really fear being alone so I can create dread naturally. So why throw this away when I can salvage it? Wife is smoking hot, a lot of fun to be around, and checks a lot of the boxes. But, obviously has that ability to deceive, manipulate, and hide affairs at a level that, frankly, scares me. However, i know that all women have this capability and I am partly to blame for allowing her to make it a reality.

I guess I'm looking for any of you older MRPers to talk some sense into me or share their success/failure in similar situations. I take responsibility for letting our marriage devolve into something so broken as the man, but also my responsibility only extends so far and the easier, more tempting option is to just keep going on this solo route I'm on. Finalize the divorce, spin plates, focus on a new career I'm working on and don't plan on remarrying for several years until my life is on track.

Or I can salvage this thing and maintain the leverage I have as the one that took her back. Don't tolerate shitty behavior, be on top of my game, and truly live out the Captain/first-mate dynamic every day. Be ready to walk if she doesn't toe the line. Spin plates on the side and create an environment where she dreads the options I have. This is a fantasy I'm entertaining.

Can anyone relate to my fucked up situation? Has anyone ever salvaged a fucked up marriage and made it work? Or did you find that starting fresh was better long-term?

Thank you in advance for any wisdom you can impart.


Post Information
Title When is Reconciliation Worth it?
Author recon_or_fuckit
Upvotes 6
Comments 62
Date 10 April 2016 04:28 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207521
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4e6f2f/when_is_reconciliation_worth_it/
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Comments

[–]Tiway2214 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remove her from your life. Forever. NEVER be someones fallback. Have some goddamn self respect. You KNOW you can do better.

[–]jacktenofheartsRed Beret13 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy

This isn't a "fucked up" marriage.

"Fucked up" is you having health problems and your wife getting compassion fatigue and asking for a divorce, for example. Fucked up is your wife getting assaulted and shutting down physically/sexually. Fucked up is... You get the idea. Fucked up is even your wife just saying, "I don't feel the same way about us anymore, I want to separate."

Nothing about what your ex-wife did it fucked up. It was just shitty, because she's a shitty person. AWALT is not AWATS. Not all examples of hypergamy are ethically repugnant. But your wife basically is. There is a whole web of deception and bullshit she spun and wove in your life for months and months, apparently. What kind of fucking person is capable of doing that? Saying all women are naturally inclined to have this level of deceit is retarded. Your wife could have just as easily just asked for a divorce and let this guy fuck her brains out, instead of shutting down sex with you yet still operating under the bullshit pretense of marriage. If she was going to branch swing, why didn't she do it that way? Because she's a shitty person. A shitty person you seem more than eager to let back in your life.

Look, the human mind is capable of rationalizing amazing things. Psych 101 teachers you about cognitive dissonance, and how Nazis are still able to sleep at night by rationalizing "well I'm exterminating all these Jews but I'm just following orders, it's really Hitler that's causing these Jews to die." This is how your last few paragraphs read. For months you've wished of nothing but this scenario and now your ex-wife has appeared with a brief bout of hysterical bonding.

But can you trust her? You can't trust anyone really, but there's "Healthy levels of distrust to ensure self-reliance and independence" versus "10 foot pole" distrust. When my wife doesn't want to fuck me, I trust that it's because... She doesn't want to fuck me. I don't need to worry about some web of deception she's building in terms of branch swinging to some Chad. She may still do that, of course, but there's not much point in living my life like a paranoid freak when she's given me no indication she's capable of that level of shitty behavior.

But your wife has. You can't trust her, can you? Once this hysterical bonding period ends, what then? You'll have to constantly filter every word and action through the lens that this is someone you can't trust. And me, I hate that shit. I don't do business with unethical people for that reason. I mean, everyone is a bullshitter, but once a guy has proven to be a blatant liar, he's done. I can't fucking spend my time and energy dealing with people who fucking lie to my face and apparently have no problem doing so. I don't care if someone tries to charge me more because they get more commission. I expect that to happen. I only get pissed when I say, "Do you get a commission on this sale?" and they say NO and pretend their interest in this sale is purely out of some sense of altruism. You want to bullshit me about the Deluxe Package is better because it's better for you, fine. But when I ask, "but if I get this, it's also better for you, right?" Then just fucking say yes. Say yes, because if I have to parse every time you say "No" could actually mean "Yes," and vice versa, then fuck you. Nobody is worth that goddamn mental effort.

One last point. You mention no assets and children. Realize that however difficult it is to cast off your ex-wife now, imagine a future where those two things are in play. If you're this much of a codependent beta bitch now that you'd even consider reconciling despite the possibility of a logistically straightforward divorce with minimal fallout, then it's only going to get worse. You'll be even more desperate to rationalize your wife's behavior because the consequences of a split are so much more dire.

You need to learn how to move in and out of good and bad relationships based on what you are giving/getting out of them. It's infinitely easier when you don't have a huge legal guillotine hanging over you that will drop if you navigate those relationships wrong.

[–]cj_aubreyRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

One last point. You mention no assets and children. Realize that however difficult it is to cast off your ex-wife now, imagine a future where those two things are in play.

OP, this is incredibly important and tends to be trivialized by men who don't have kids yet. Imagine if she was off fucking Chad every night but you knew that if you left you'd lose almost all contact with your tiny little son who you loved more than anything in this life. You're lucky the stakes weren't higher before and next time you probably won't be able to just walk away.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What kind of fucking person is capable of doing that?

An addict?

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Time for your book: "The Addiction Society"

Chapter 1: Smartphones and Starbucks

Next stop Dr. Oz to promote...

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Staph triggerin me

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If by "triggerin" you mean making you millions, then ok. :-)

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chapter 2: Zoloft and Xanax

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

:-|

[–]PersaeusRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have some self respect OP. Once you are married for long period of time and add in the stress of kids, the shit will get much deeper. If your wife did not pass the relatively easy "travel/work test"; you have no hope for the much harder test to come. NEXT

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She only came back because things with the other guy she'd been fucking for 8 months didn't work out. It had nothing to do with your progress.

You don't want to be the second choice for a cunty cheater who made you go a year without sex, do you? You can do better. No contact.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Rational male, rooting through the trash.

Iron rule 7.

Qudstions?

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So simple, so true.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I really doubt you read anything in the sidebar that leads you to believe you can (credibly) ask this question.

She shows up for "no reason" after 8mos? You (probably) made changes to yourself, but none she could see. So why did she come back? C the other guy kicked her to the curb. You are the consolation prize. She hasn't learned anything. It's all roses today, but you'll soon slip back to the beta arrangement. There's nothing left to salvage at be precipice of divorce after her extended fuck fest w/ another man.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop entertaining fantasies. You already know she can't commit, not really. And there ain't no more to say.

[–]Chump_No_More3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've got some great advise, follow every bit of it, but I'm going to throw out a scenario that you need to be very wary of.

What if Chad got your 'wife' pregnant and now she's 'hysterically bonding' with you to cuckold your beta chump ass.

First order of business, stop having sex with this woman. 2nd, make her take a pregnancy test. If positive, a DNA test is in order. This isn't to ascertain her trustworthiness for reconciliation, we've already established she's not... this is to protect your ass from paternity fraud.

If Chad didn't knock her up and you're too weak to stop having sex with her, for God sakes, use protection and personally dispose of it... otherwise you will be truly fucked.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm often the one here who tells people they should consider working things out.

But this one is crystal clear. She left, was with someone else, the heart break is already over and done with, you're doing well on your own, no kids. I'm seeing red flags and no reason to take her back.

You don't have to sacrifice your life to help her, it is ok to say no. Don't be a white knight.

[–]cj_aubreyRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Taking her back is a terrible idea for a few reasons

  • You taking her back would be a display of low value, the magnitude of which neither of you have ever seen before.

  • She's probably alpha widowed within an inch of her life.

  • One of the aspects of this situations (there are few) is her throwing a sequence of huge, escalating shit tests at you (no sex for a year, leaving and wrecking you, coming back). So far you've failed every single one. I suppose you could take her back and find out what the next one is. Given the pattern, its likely to be exciting.

She went looking for alpha, got burned and is back looking for comfort in beta. Give it 6 months and she'll need more alpha, but she won't be able to get it from you because of the history. Go find a 25 year old, start fresh, do what you've learned here with a clean slate.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't root through the garbage

https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/rooting-through-garbage/

Well, glad I looked through the thread before posting. Scurve got here first. EDIT: And Stone as well, although he wrote trash instead of garbage so I didn't see it at first.

You demoted her from wife to whatever, never upgrade her back to wife. In fact don't marry anyone else either. And frankly if you had One-itis for her, it is probably best if you don't even try to keep her around as a Plate or FWB.

[–]blarggggggggggg2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She likely will try to get pregnant to trap you into provider role, then stop fucking you again.

[–]red-pill-man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BINGO!

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You won't have leverage as the one who took her back. You only have leverage until you take her back. Then she has it.

[–]IASGame1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have a better question. How can this guy have been spinning hot 25 yo plates and still not have developed a healthy abundance mentality?

Messed up internals I'm pretty sure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I take responsibility for letting our marriage devolve into something so broken as the man, but also my responsibility only extends so far and the easier, more tempting option is to just keep going on this solo route I'm on. Finalize the divorce, spin plates, focus on a new career I'm working on and don't plan on remarrying for several years until my life is on track. Or I can salvage this thing and maintain the leverage I have as the one that took her back. Don't tolerate shitty behavior, be on top of my game, and truly live out the Captain/first-mate dynamic every day. Be ready to walk if she doesn't toe the line. Spin plates on the side and create an environment where she dreads the options I have. This is a fantasy I'm entertaining.

OP, your post reeks of trying to direct our answers, outlining possible outcomes and then try to show us that taking her back is the right course of action.

You are currently living your Plan A, pulling 25 yr olds, able to do what you want with your time and money. Why would you want to settle for being Plan B in someone else's life? No one with any sense of self respect wants to be Plan B.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret2 points3 points  (16 children) | Copy

she was still in a long distance emotional affair with this guy

She is addicted. There is no such thing as "long distance relationship" or "long distance affair". There is a broken woman, sending texts or chatting on FB, waiting for reply, producing neurotransmitters in her brain, living in fucking FANTASY.

You know what it looks like? Like porn.

She is an ADDICT.

If you start to save her, you are a co-dependent person, deepening her addiction, enabling her to CONTINUE this fuckery. But you do WANT to "reconcile", right? You want to chase that high, because your mother or father hurt you and now you CRAVE for the codependency high, just like I did.

Guys, mods, u/TheFamilyAlpha, u/whinemoreplease, u/BluepillProfessor, hear me, LONG DISTANCE EMOTIONAL AFFAIR IS AN ADDICTION. This is what I found out in my life recently. Guys enabling a woman who is in a "long-distance affair" are co-dependent.

There is nothing to see here. OP, would you date morphine addict? ME NEITHER. What's the difference between morphine addiction and her LTR? For me, THERE IS NONE.

My ex-wife actually had a very low N-count and I proposed her a threesome if she wanted to try the strange dick (yes, I know, but whatever). You know, what she told me? "WHEN YOU KNOW ABOUT IT IT IS NO LONGER FUN". She DID NOT WANT SEX, she DID NOT WANT other dick. She craves the high that the cheating addiction gives her. And you can easily cheat with FB or phone. That's easy.

My ex-wife was in that "long-distance emotional relationship" before I met her. There was that guy she spoke with over phone for a year or two before she met me. This was long before Facebook and shit, they used PHONE, a frigging phone is enough to trigger this fantasy addiction. She met him ONCE but still after 8 or 10 years she craved to contact him, right after I GOT SOBER. I tried to save this marriage using TRP, MRP and whatever you call it but I failed miserably because I did not actually consider being a CODEPENDENT ENABLER. I managed her to break contact only to find her contacting next guy using the same schema after a few months. Me being sober and present at home did NOT matter. Having 3 kids did NOT matter.

SHE WANTS HER FIX.

OP, do you really want to be Captain Save-a-hoe? Are you really codependent?

There is NOTHING to salvage, she does INTRAVENOUS MORPHINE, SHE CRAVES THAT, what do you want to save her from?

I actually wish I could cry now, but I can't. This is the hand I got dealt with, back then in the childhood, then I found alcohol and sex, then I co-created that relationship with her, then I sobered up and realized all this shit. I'm looking for a flat to rent this week.

OP, if you want to hit your bottom, GO FOR HER. Maybe you need to hit it.

I hit my bottom when I fucked her bareback few days ago she fucked a random guy from internet. Bareback. After 12 years of exclusive relationship. Of course she told me they used condom. Of course I believed her.

When you're codependent, when you are addicted, when you want your fix, your thinking gets NARROWED. She wanted that fix so badly she fucked him bareback. Then I wanted my fix so badly, that I fucked her too.

There is no hope for me beyond moving OUT and starting therapy.

And you ask for reconciliation.

I might as well have HIV now.

And you want to reconcile with such woman.

What's your point? Do you want to be dead? Because this is what such women are. Death.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You go from zero to 100 damn quick don't ya?

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You really wanna know about me? I'll tell you. I still have NOT discovered what I used codependency for. I don't know what I am trying to escape. Chances are I will have some kind of psychotic breakdown in upcoming days, I feel something like that coming.

My real breakthrough was I realized my problems have nothing to do with her. They were created in my brain during my formative years.

And for what I am doing... I think I finally started acting like a real man should... not like a codependent whiny pussy addict. Addiction made me very easy to control. Man who can be easily controlled is not a man, he's a slave.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You used codependency as a substitute for growing up, just as I did. Your addiction kept you in an adolescent state all this time, and after getting sober you finally began to finish growing up. You never developed the tools, strategies and mindset to deal with any of this, because your addiction was your tool for dealing with it. Welcome to the desert of the real, my fellow ex-addict.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It fucking feels good in here. My latest addiction maybe. "The reality"

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women want a man who can't be controlled, so perhaps long-distance or unavailable or addict is an extreme case, for some post-stockholm syndrome or otherwise broken women, missing some parts of their brain that says "GTFO, now".

Unavailable man causes craving, causes fantasies about him, maybe. He grows (as in "alpha shilouette"). Each contact is limited. This is what she craves, craves, craves.

How that man can fuck this up? By being available. By replying too often on FB. By texting bullshit. By demonstrating beta. Basically, by doing anything that TRP says him not to do.

But, that's not MRP stuff. I'll finish here.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ALSO, if she has been physically abused in her childhood (eg. beaten) and you haven't been abused this way (I was abused only verbally) - you must be ready that the physical force is the only power she will understand. Of course, this can have various repercussions and I do not suggest that... but, how can you prove that you're a "real man" to her if you don't use force?

Such women are broken. AVOID LIKE PLAGUE.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Wow! This is the voice of experience OP. Seriously.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I am right with that little model of mine, it means that Cad is the ruthless dopamine pusher... And the rest of you sensible MRP guys are idk some kind of wise disciples or something like that, understanding human and woman nature.

And, in this model, I am still an ex addict, owning my shit. So it's still cool.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit. Are there any books on how to be a successful drug dealer?

[–]the_Zambony0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

how to be a successful drug dealer

Success is only temporary in the drug business.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just like with women. And I bet it is no different. More I think about it more analogies I see.

[–]the_Zambony0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

maintain the leverage I have as the one that took her back.

This will not last beyond you saying you will take her back.

You will be living a constant battle of suspicion, paranoia, and regret.

What you thought you had in a marriage and wife prior to discovery, is gone, long gone. The woman who is now begging at your feet is not the same woman. She is no longer the woman you met, fell in love with, married, and started a life with.

Don't tolerate shitty behavior, be on top of my game, and truly live out the Captain/first-mate dynamic every day. Be ready to walk if she doesn't toe the line. Spin plates on the side and create an environment where she dreads the options I have. This is a fantasy I'm entertaining.

You can do this with any woman. EDIT So why do this with someone who already cannot "toe the line?" END EDIT Follow through on the divorce and if you can handle it, treat your ex as any other plate.

Check out, Talk About Marriage - Coping with Infidelity for some insight from experienced guys. Shamwow and bff are legendary posters.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am 32 years old and have been married for 5 years. With her for 10. No kids.

I don't need to read any further. I don't need to know anything else.

End it. End it now.

There is no reason whatsoever to save a marriage like this (or any legal marriage whatsoever) when there are no children to protect or provide for.

Just put the marriage out of its misery. Get a divorce, and move on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can anyone relate to my fucked up situation? Has anyone ever salvaged a fucked up marriage and made it work? Or did you find that starting fresh was better long-term?

I salvaged a fucked up marriage, but only because there were kids to provide for and protect. And my wife didn't separate from me and run off with another guy.

This is different. No kids. Your wife tried and failed to branch swing. She's telling you "I couldn't get a better guy; so I'll just come back to you because this better guy wouldn't commit to me."

Fuck that. Dump her, end it now.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

From your description, this wasn't a spur of the moment failure because you were inattentive or unavailable, but a deliberate and long-term relationship. She wasn't feeling low and lonely, but really was looking to upgrade her life with someone she connected with. And it failed.

This doesn't sound like someone an adrenaline junkie, prone to sneaking around and one night stands, but someone looking for emotional validation and branch swinging. Or maybe she is, and this Chad was so alpha that she was pulled into his orbit.

Regardless, you're welcome to give it a shot. Draw a bright line for her: zero-tolerance and you get the passwords to all of her devices/accounts. Make her rebuild your trust, and remind her that it may take years. Enjoy your time together, but keep in mind exactly what she's capable of. Don't let her get pregnant until you are rock-solid that this was just an isolated rough patch, and not the first episode of a repeating pattern, because marriages will have ups and downs over time -- and you don't want to be a decade in, with 2 kids, when she longs for her Bridges of Madison County moment.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Draw a bright line for her: zero-tolerance and you get the passwords to all of her devices/accounts. Make her rebuild your trust, and remind her that it may take years. Enjoy your time together, but keep in mind exactly what she's capable of. Don't let her get pregnant until you are rock-solid that this was just an isolated rough patch, and not the first episode of a repeating pattern, because marriages will have ups and downs over time -- and you don't want to be a decade in, with 2 kids, when she longs for her Bridges of Madison County moment.

My friend... fuck you and fuck your advice. You forgot to tell him to tuck his dick with an adhesive tape, buy a strap on dildo for her and to bend over.

I exercised that "all passwords" recently. This does NOT fucking work. She erased history from time to time, thinking I won't notice. She didn't knew that Facebook has that "history log" function. Those girls are ADDICTED and you suggest being a codependent bitch to him. So fuck you and fuck your advice. Kids DO NOT MATTER, pregnancy does not matter, see my comments.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's brutal man.

She fucked up, and now she's back. The question is... does someone deserve one more chance, just one more, after seeing their life fall apart from their own bad choices?

I know that AWALT and Next are bedrock principles in the RP subs, but you can't tell me that the many of the men here haven't fucked up hard at one point and asked for another chance to fix their marriage.

People are flawed, but does one fuck up define the person? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Probably, but only OP knows the full story and whether his wife is a decent person with a moment of weakness, or essentially broken and doomed to repeat. He's coming on to a forum where he knows what the response will be, to stiffen his resolve on kicking her out.

jackten lays it out... even if she's a model wife for 3 months, a year, a decade, at what point can OP finally feel comfortable? But this time, at least, he's going in with his eyes open. He can set the boundaries, and see whether she complies or not. Maybe his shitty wife isn't as shitty as others.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been doing this with my eyes open until she fucked a guy bareback then forgot to tell me about it. The most dangerous sexual intercourse in my last few years was with my wife.

You play with your eyes open. I am getting the fuck out. My life is too valuable for me. My kids also depend on me. You want to stab a fucking fork in your both eyes FUCKING GO FOR IT.

Second chance is called second chance because it is a second chance for op to be a cuck.

[–]red-pill-man-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You understand nothing you have learned. Be gone, troll.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell, I actually read your post. Cut all contact now.

[–]PBRistasty-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didnt come crying back to you after 8 months becuase she realized you were her true love. She did it because after 8 months of fucking the other guy, it didnt work out for some reason(s).

Finish the divorce and send her on her way. A few years from now, when your actually over your one-iteis, plate her as your bottom bitch.



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