Is this something worth breaking up over?

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April 1, 2019

Ill keep it short, let me know if you want more details. Currently in New Zealand with my girlfriend, traveling for a year. Before we got together she told me about a guy that she wanted to bang, and she would have except he had a girlfriend at the time and she didnt let it happen. This guy is in australia. Before we left australia and came to new zealand, before we were official, she wanted to visit him again. But I told her I wouldnt stick around if she went to visit him for three weeks, so she decided not to visit him and came straight with me to new zealand. They texted a bit here and there, he was flirty with her and even invited her to bali, but she shut him down and said “my boyfriend would not like that or else I would.”

They had not spoken for a few months and now he texted her out of the blue and told her that he is coming to new zealand. She is excited to see him. I know for a fact they never banged but this feels disloyal to me. She is excited to see him, he is coming here to visit her. Should I jump ship?

Post Information
Title Is this something worth breaking up over?
Author superomar13
Upvotes 59
Comments 129
Date 01 April 2019 07:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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[–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (29 children) | Copy

“my boyfriend would not like that or else I would.”

Meaning "We will, when my boyfriend isn`t around."

I think you know what`s going on here, but you are denying it. You are not her first option, otherwise she`d treat you like a priority.

Dump her before before she continues to fuck you up mentally

[–]superomar1325 points26 points  (10 children) | Copy

Well we plan on going our seperate ways in september this year anyways, our end date is planned. You do have a great point though.

[–]FrgElder 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

If your end date is planned, it's not really an LTR. Since it's not really an LTR, feel free to start sleeping with other people.

Theoretically there is nothing wrong with keeping a girl like this around till September while banging other girls, as I'm sure she will provide some utility and consistent sex/companionship.

The problem is that you are clearly too emotionally invested in her for you to take advantage of this situation without caring. The fact that you're making a post on askTRP about it confirms that. For your own mental well-being I think it's best you just next her now and move on completely.

[–]dtyler8613 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% this ^ . Accept that she’s not your LTR and she better accept you’re not hers. If she gets pissy, time to go

[–]jrr6415sun16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow what’s the point of a planned breakup, and if it’s planned who cares who she fucks

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not september. Immediately. Put her shit outside and let her figure out where shes going to sleep tonight. Dumb bitch.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her bf would be unhappy with that!

[–]WiredT8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s comfortable with the relationship ending EVER she doesn’t care. Girls who care always think theyll die with you growing old.

[–]rnsbrum9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

fucking blatant disrespect. I would not tolerate

[–]theherosmyth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Care to elaborate on the situation? I really don’t understand what’s going on here. You made a year’s worth of travel plans while you two were not even together at the time? Maybe I read that wrong.

Also, you two already had a break up date planned? Did she agree to be your girlfriend you’d take her to travel with you or something? I really don’t get it.

[–]AshyBoneVR40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was in a relationship like this. It doesn't work. It will end, and you will likely be the one that gets hurt.

[–]1Pink1Stink0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

So she's not your girlfriend? why the fuck do you care?

[–]superomar1310 points11 points  (16 children) | Copy

I should mention one more thing I left out lol. Heres how the full conversation went:

Him: Im going to bali, and theres room for one more in the place I have ;)

My ltr: Haha i wish! I dont have enough money for that. Besides, I dont think my boyfriend would like that very much. Otherwise I would take you up on that offer.

Him: Well invitations still open ;)

My ltr: one day ____, one day :p

[–]Stargazer3454 points55 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, come on man... are you that pathetic? she LITERALLY is going to leave you and fuck this guy, how can you not realize it let alone tolerate it.

[–]throwawaybjj4421 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

seems like you're dead set on keeping her around. why ask if you know what you want to do?

[–]PossiblyBreathing16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looool wtf bro. Ditch

[–]IV-IVm-I15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

eject bro. Don't look back.

[–]archaic-guy9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your supposed LTR has an expiration date an he is flyrting with another guy who will inevitabily bang her world why dont you do the same?

[–]BusterVadge3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is this some kind of retarded April fools joke? If not, you need to start respecting yourself man.

[–]smhfamswag2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NIGGA! “Otherwise I would take you up on this offer” LMAO next this bitch ASAP.

[–]asorals2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ. Abort

[–]TopOccasion291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

WTF Bro are you daft?...Next and ghost her looool

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My ex did the same shit, her orbiter joked around saying "we'll do each other jk" and she said "my boyfriend wont like tat lol"

[–]LamboFly144 points145 points  (23 children) | Copy

Lmao are you kidding? She blatantly disrespected you..


[–]superomar1313 points14 points  (21 children) | Copy

Is the excitement disrespectful or is it other things too? and she never physically told me that she said that she spoke to him. I got all of that by going through her social media. She has not mentioned him at all since before we were official.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime101 points102 points  (13 children) | Copy

Pretty much everything.

The fact that she's excited to see a guy she would fuck that isn't you.

The fact that she uses "her bf would be unhappy with that" instead of "no sorry I have a boyfriend".

The fact that she even talks to a guy she previously wanted to fuck.

The fact that you find blatantly flirty messages on her social media.

When a women is really into you, and I mean really into you (the only sort of relationship you should be settling for) you aren't having to tell her to not do this or not do that, she instinctively swats away other men for fear of losing her Prince Charming. She doesn't engage in behaviors that could jeopordize her catch.

Get rid of the baggage and enjoy your year in New Zealand fucking some fine as pacific women.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that she uses "her bf would be unhappy with that" instead of "no sorry I have a boyfriend".

LMFAO this x1000000000000

[–]creamymoe9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here.

She’s just not that into you and is excited about that strange dick.

[–]shredzro3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Wouldn’t your statement of “she instinctively swats away other men for fear of losing her Prince Charming,” contradicting to “AWALT,” (a concept I think is taken a bit to far anyway).

[–]Imtoosexyformypants9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

She’s not swinging if she doesn’t see a higher branch hunnybuns

[–]EvolvedVirus2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sometimes they take a few months or years trying to measure these damn branches, that's why girls aren't engineers.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Depends, married men exist in this sub.

[–]EvolvedVirus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well I'm not saying they all measure or look to swing on branches either, there are some that don't.

[–]creamymoe6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

AWALT - I take to mean that at anytime any woman has the potential to behave in a certain way.

That doesn’t mean that every woman always will.... but has the potential to.

So In the example above, a woman who views you highly enough would not willingly or knowingly act in a way that would risk the relationship however if she doesn’t view you that way, she has the potential to be excited about some strange dick...

[–]shredzro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. Just wanted to see what stance it is. I also treat it the same. I treat it as you would a gun. All guns have the potential to be loaded, so you treat every gun as it is.

[–]htowntrav2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are a circus beast master working with lions, tigers, and bears you’re automatically aware at any given point in time they can snap. Then you’re fucked. But there’s a choice. A decision you make to put yourself in that position right? Why, thought what do we benefit from that relationship and companionship? Is it our purpose? Is it our obligation? I’m a firm believer of AWALT. To each their own on ascribing the meaning and purpose to that mission. A power each is granted. The choice on how to tame and guide. We are builders. We are those whom children look up to and admire when they are grown. To join our ranks, and build up the next generation. Sorry for the rant.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When a women swats away lower value men she's not interested in to maintain her high value man, that is the AWALT.

When she eventually finds a higher value man and branch swings, that's the AWALT.

As a global picture, the odds of her eventually finding a higher value man is probably quite high, does't mean OP has to put up with it. He should enjoy his time with her aslong as she swats away other men, the moment she stops doing that, it's time to move on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with all your points except the last one - our girls are dowdy af, hottest bitches over here are all imports unfortunately

Source - am kiwi

[–]liftingtailsofcats0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely this. Stop wasting your time and energy treating her like your first choice while she treats you like her second. Go enjoy life.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

The excitement is disrespectful. Her saying "my boyfriend would not like that" should actually be "no, I would not like that" She should he shutting him down saying they arent going to meet up and that she doesnt want to meet him.

You should have dumped her long ago when she wanted to visit him for three weeks. I'm guess you're paying for the trip? Kick her out and let him pay for her shit. She is officially alone in a foreign land and you will not have any more to do with her.

[–]drqxx12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]HurricaneHugues5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The disrespected started before you even went on that trip. The moment she told u she wanted to give him one last opportunity to fuck her before she left.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

you're overthinking this shit so hard doot

[–]CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's good he's here. Dump the cunt and move on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Imtoosexyformypants0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s just not that into you

[–]Xerexes38690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In the words of Ariana Grande - Thank you, Next.

[–]HotHead12135 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

You just created a new level of cuck

[–]BusterVadge7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]sterquiliniis28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

Damn, reading that sent ALL the wrong mental images my way.

When she said "my boyfriend would not like that or else I would.” She is telling this guy she would let him fuck her brains out if it wasn't for you knowing about it. In no way is that shutting him down. Shutting him down would be blocking him.

I think deep down you don't want to dump her because you know he will be fucking her immediately after. You're trying to cling onto this broad to avoid him fucking her. That's not a mentally healthy way to live man.

[–]superomar1315 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed. Going to next, gonna hurt like a motherfucker.

[–]sterquiliniis27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do it, then go into the bathroom and stare in the mirror. Repeat after me "I'm a man and I deserve to be respected". You don't have to verbally say it, but just think it in your mind. Look at yourself deeply. You'll cry a river if you care for her, but what she is doing to you is eating you up inside and eventually she will betray you and it will end up nearly killing you. Go out now with your pride and respect. She'll get pumped and dumped by this guy and come begging back eventually, but you will have moved on by then.

[–]empatheticapathetic8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saying it verbally takes it to another level.

[–]superomar1327 points28 points  (8 children) | Copy

Ok guys I get the message. Im going to pack my shit and move out tomorrow morning, and ghost her. Currently sharing accomodation, that we both pay for. Already looking for new places to live, and I plan on doing this while she is at work so I dont have to deal with her breaking down and trying to stop me. Will give an update tomorrow.

[–]rare_specimen_indeed11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Juicy, can't wait for update

[–]thrownawayisland8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, its gonna be tough but the fact you got the balls to stand up for yourself like this means you got a bright future ahead. You have one more thing to keep an eye out for in future relationships (though after my last break I realize plating is the only way to fly).

[–]superomar132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


Ok so here is my update. Wanted to start off by saying I didnt tell the full truth in my post, it was a bit hypothetical. Here is the full true background, lets see if I made the right choice.

I met my ltr in australia last september. We met in my hostel and fucked around for three weeks, pretty much spent everyday together, full on fwb. Was spinning plates before I met her, and she knew some of the girls I slept with in the hostel. At the end of the flight, she left for samoa for 2 months. We ended up talking for two months everyday (may have caught a little oneitis), but I was also back to spinning plates. Slept with two more girls in those two months. While she was in samoa, I asked her to join me in New Zealand.

Now about this other guy. This guy was the grandson of a my ltr’s father’s friend. My ltr was staying at this guy’s grandmothers house when she met him back in april 2018. They hungout together for 3 weeks along with 2 other girls and one other guy. In total it was my ltr, this guy and his girlfriend, and another guy and girl. During this time, this guy wanted to bang my ltr, but she did not let him as he had a girlfriend in the group and she was a bit more reserved. They never even kissed, but he definitely tried, and my ltr definitely liked him back. After those three weeks, my girlfriend moved on, au pairing in other places around Australia, and even slept with one more guy before she met me. Since July 2018, my ltr and this guy were planning to meet up in Singapore in January 2019, where this guy was planning on doing a semester abroad. They definitely were planning to meet up because my ltr wanted to give him one more chance to sleep with her. Now forward to September, she meets me. We’re fwb for three weeks, and then she leaves for samoa in October. Even when she leaves, she keeps in contact with me, for the two months she is there. Granted, shes in the middle of no where, and Im spinning plates back in Sydney. But we still talk everyday (minor oneitis at this time). It was during this time that I asked her to join me in new Zealand. She tells me she had been planning for months to go to Singapore (which she also told me while she was my fwb for those three weeks). Ltr tells me it’s a big decision for her and she has to think it through. Im basically telling her to change her entire life plan of going to Singapore then back to Australia, to joining me in New Zealand. I say fair enough, let me know. I ask her why shes so keen on going to Singapore, and she tells me honestly that if she does go, she’ll end up sleeping with that guy. I tell her, “you can do what you want but don’t expect me to be around if you decide to go. Let me know soon so I don’t waste any more time, and so that I can find another girl to take with me to New Zealand.” She thinks about it for a few days then says she is going to come with me to New Zealand straight away. (Apparently she had already made up her mind to come with me to nz the day after I asked her, verified through reading her messages with her mother, but she let me sit on it for a few days).

Fast forward to January 2019. She is in new Zealand with me now. I have access to her social media and phone, without her knowing. I see in total, my ltr and this guy in Singapore have had a total of three conversations since November 2018.

Convo one in December 2018: was her telling her that she wont make it to Singapore, and that she has met an American boy (me) that she is going to go to nz with. He tells my ltr that he might visit her in nz. Then some platonic conversation with light one sided flirting from him. The guy does not know im her boyfriend at this point.

Convo two in January 2019: Them two catching up, some light flirting from his side. This is where he invites her to bali to share a house with him for a week. She says: “I’m working a job at the moment that I really can’t take off from, and my boyfriend would not like that very much lol. Otherwise I would take your offer.” He says something along the lines of forget him, come travel with me. She says “One day ___. One day :p”. They both say one more line to each other and then she leaves him on read. (This is what I found really disrespectful) I confronted my ltr about this and she said that she was hinting at that she had a boyfriend without completely telling him to fuck off, because he is still a friend of hers. He helped her when she was full on broke.

Convo three that happened two days ago: The guy: “hey how are you, where are you in nz?” My ltr: Hey im good. Still in Auckland. Are you coming to nz??” This is the point where im fuming and I make this post on reddit to see what I should do in that hypothetical scenario. After I made this post, two more texts were exchanged. The guy: “Well I have a few weeks off and was thinking about doing something spontaneous.” My ltr: “cool, Ill be in Auckland till the 19th .” This is when I confront her and break up with her.

THE BREAKUP: *Just want to say, I broke up with her literally 30 minutes before we were suppose to buy a car together. We had already planned this days ago, the dude was just going to come with his car and we were going to give him the cash, which we both paid evenly for.*

I tell her to go shower and that ill meet her up there in two minutes. I go up and join her, and we start showering and then I tell her “I want you to enjoy this shower, because its our last. I’m breaking up with you.” She starts freaking out, shaking, asking why. I tell her, she should know. She keeps freaking out and I tell her to give me her phone. We go back to our room and I scroll down to the part where she says “my boyfriend would not like it very much.” She freaks out and insists she does not give a fuck about him. She holds me down saying “YOURE NOT LEAVING, THIS IS NOT WHERE IT ENDS.” Shes crying, shaking and freaking out this entire time. She tells me that she said that because she wanted to hint to him that she had a boyfriend in a nice way. She keeps insisting that she does not give a fuck about him. She even messages him infront of me saying: “I have a boyfriend, leave me alone.” Then she blocks him off everything. I keep telling her its over, and that im just angry because I wasted my time with her. Im quite collected throughout this. I call her disloyal. I ask her if she understands how blatantly disrespectful what she said was. She says she understands, and that shes new to this, and that her first boyfriend was a pushover and that shes not used to being challenged. She says she needs a guy who puts her in her place because shes used to having her way. Then she continues crying and begging for me not to go. She says she’ll do anything to prove her loyalty and for me to stay, even “send a nude to her own father” LOL. I keep insisting its over, and that were not going to buy that car together. Shes freaking out and saying she does not know what to do, she has always been loyal to me (which is true other than that disrespectful message). Well… after nearly an hour of me telling her im leaving and trying to put my clothes on and pack my shit, while shes freaking out, crying, and trying to pull me back, hold me down, and stopping me from packing my shit, I finally say “Alright, ill stay with you. From here on out, every chance you get, I want you to prove your loyalty to me. And know this, If ANYTHING even close to this ever happens again, I WILL ghost you, without any explanation. That way you cant beg and plead and hold me back from leaving. I WILL block you on everything and never speak to you again.”

Now, from what I see, she has never disloyal to me. Shes never flirted with this guy, even though he flirted back. She obviously has me as a higher priority than him, and he may have been a curiosity at first during our first month in the relationship. But at this point I can tell she does not give a fuck about him at all. Hes always the one initiating conversations. He seems like an orbiter, but definitely not beta. Anyways, shes blocked him off everything. Ive seen her texts as well, she does not even talk to any other guys besides this guy who is in another country. And it seems she does not really give a fuck about him and is much more afraid to lose me. I also get that I am the alpha in her life, as she has been super submissive, sex everyday, cooks, cleans for me etc. So my decision was to continue keeping her around till September. Or if anything like this ever happens again, to definitely ghost her. What do you guys think now that you have the full context?

[–]CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good, read the side bar and don't be a doormat for thots.

[–]liftingtailsofcats2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost her while she's at work

Seriously? Be a fucking man. Tell her you saw her social media and have fun with whatshisface bc you'll sure be having fun without her.

[–]bluefingerblue2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to fuck with her head a little she’s on her way out the door for work tomorrow, say “hey” or call her name.

When she looks back at you and says “what,” say “I just wanted to take another look at you.”

She’ll smile and be on her way. Then you ghost while she’s at work and never look back.

Do not respond unless she calls off meeting this other guy on her own.

Gonna be tough not responding. Hold strong. Good luck bro.

[–]Anasthaesium1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why such extremes. Keep fucking her till sept . Experiment kinky shit . Use and throw . Same time , spin plates . 🤷🏿‍♀️

[–]markinsinz79 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cause he's not capable of that right now. The more time he spends with her the more his mental instability with her rises. He was okay with her even text flirting this guy blatantly.

If OP can actually disconnect sex from intimacy with her then proceed to the kinkky aisle else he'll need to ghost. At least that way he wins big time cause she'll forever wonder

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

she told me about a guy she wanted to bang

"My boyfriend would not like that or else I would."

she is excited to see him

Dump her.

If she was truly into you she would have dismissed his ass instead of painting you out to be the big bad wolf who told her she can't talk to boys.

She's employing plausible deniability with him.

Dump her now and spin plates till September.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not about what she's done or hasn't done.

You are option B. Do you want to have an LTR with a girl for whom you are option B?

[–]lilgoatedboy13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck her.. fuck her like shes the last woman on earth and this is your last time... get it all out.. nastiest possible things you can think of. Afterwards tell her that "that was the last time" and kick her the FUCK out.

[–]TopOccasion296 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP seems too emotionally connected to pull this off. He'll end up catching feelings for her and will return to square one after she reels him in.

[–]SalporinRP6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes because a truly loyal girl would tell him to fuck off then block him if his advances persisted.

Her saying "my boyfriend would not like that" instead of shutting him down says it all.

And this is coming from someone who got cucked in a similar manner. My ex-GF (pre-TRP-discovery) had a guy acquaintance that I always felt uneasy about because he obviously was into her. She kept saying that she had no attraction to him, yadda yadda yadda.

One day while she was in the shower I went through her phone and found that during our dinner-date the previous night he was sending her shirtless gym selfies after the gym and her response was "you look good" then "my boyfriend wouldn't like this" instead of fuck off.

I was visiting her at college during all of this. While she was in the shower I simply packed up my backpack and then left her apartment.

Texted her "we're done" and never saw her ever again and only talked to her once over text in a moment of weakness.

Fuck that hurt naive 20 year old me.

[–]CharlesChadworth5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

She just took a massive dump on your chest and proceeded to smear it around with her hands mate.

If any girl openly tells me she wanted to fuck a guy, that for me disqualifies her as gf material. Let alone if she tells me she wanted to catch up and get throat slammed by a dude she knows wants to

My advice is use her as much as possible for sex, seeing as she is that type of slut, and keep looking around for another girl in the mean time.

[–]TopOccasion292 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

>If any girl openly tells me she wanted to fuck a guy, that for me disqualifies her as gf material. Let alone if she tells me she wanted to catch up and get throat slammed by a dude she knows wants to

Exactly. How OP is still asking if he should break up with her is beyond me

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jeezus Christ, let her back onto the cock carousel on your own terms, she’s headed there anyway. I STRONGLY suggest you diversify your pussy stock portfolio, your too heavily weighted on this one stock and this stock is about to plummet due to external forces. SELL SELL SELL

[–]RedHoodhandles11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here, let me help you with this one. Follow me on your own path of stupidity:

she told me about a guy that she wanted to bang [...] before we were official, she wanted to visit him again

->plate only; instead you LTRed her

They texted a bit here and there

Hard next. Ghost.

she shut him down and said “my boyfriend would not like that or else I would.

Hard next. Ghost.

he is coming to new zealand. She is excited to see him.

Hard next. Ghost.

Before you try to fuck other women now, start having some self-respect. You know, makes fucking women easier.

[–]SeasonedRP5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

-he texted her out of the blue and told her that he is coming to New Zealand"

Uh huh. Just out of the blue. Kick her to the curb.

[–]YesVeryKewl4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure if srs

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was over a long time ago.

Disappear quietly.

She will try to contact you. Don't talk to her. Don't give her closure. Don't become a part of her story by giving her anything to rationalize.

In the future, keep better control of your bitches by being the best available option.

[–]bruiser184 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Demote to plate.

[–]animalapemachine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

yes and STFU about it. no explanations. reign in your emotions quietly. work some dark triad magic on her mind.

[–]rare_specimen_indeed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I had found the red pill earlier because I put up with this kind of behavior for years before getting out. It's not worth it!

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Before we left australia and came to new zealand, before we were official, she wanted to visit him again. But I told her I wouldnt stick around if she went to visit him for three weeks, so she decided not to visit him and came straight with me to new zealand."

When people reveal themselves and their true desires to you, believe them. She already showed you what she wanted to do, you just made her pretend being someone she's not, which is a girl who respects you and doesn't want to fuck that guy.

This is not the girl you want to commit. This is the girl u smash.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro. She’s about to fuck this guy. Tag team her with him (which she would probably like and actually might help you get a relationship with her) or either move on from her.

I can’t believe your dealing with this crap. I’d straight up tell her if she sees this dude when he comes it’s over. Simple as that. Put your foot down. Then break up with her anyways.

[–]SickOfIt5182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're just a placeholder until he gets his turn so don't stick around buddy.

[–]volvostupidshit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of beta shit is this?

[–]Ironic_Gangster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bust a nut in her mouth, then tell her your breaking up immediately afterwards. This is your only true option.

Seriously, though. Next.

[–]BiscottiGeneral2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro there is no way this isn’t an April fools joke to troll everyone. If everything you are saying is actually true, you are either blind or stupid or both.

[–]boy_named_su1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your girlfriend should not be meeting other men, one-on-one

[–]JorgitoEstrella[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you serious? The answers is obvious.

[–]UsernameIWontRegret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard fucking next how is this even a question

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's disrespecting you directly to your face. She wants this guy's dick more than she wants your relationship. Leave her.

[–]ainihon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Run for the hills!

[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is excited to see him. I know for a fact they never banged but this feels disloyal to me.

Cut your loses and bail. End things. If she hasn't cheated on you, she will. It's not worth the heartache.

[–]Andorli1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

before we were official, she wanted to visit him again.

Should not have made it official after this.

They texted a bit here and there, he was flirty with her and even invited her to bali, but she shut him down and said “my boyfriend would not like that or else I would.”

Break up right there. This is...this just shows how stupid she is and how bad she is at hiding her intentions.

Dude do you really need a fucking explanation here?


[–]golgynat0r1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You came here for a roast party or you like seeing your GF getting wrecked by other man. I can't understand why didn't you react immediately and leave that grill. Now she is closer to that guy thanks to you and has a free living besides. All planned, pathetic.

[–]AstuteBlackMan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Demote to plate

[–]Harambe4401 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s gonna have to choose. But don’t wait for her to make her decision. Next her.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next this stupid bitch.

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You should just tell her to go to Bali with him and that's it, continue your trip. She seems so into him I don't even know why she hasn't dumped you yet to jump in his sheets.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She wants to monkey branch...She needs this new branch to be secured and firm before letting go of the old one. If she fucks new guy with plausible deniability and new guy only uses her for sex, which he will then she'll go back to her original branch OP

If new guy gives her commitment, then she'll dump OP.

[–]Bruchibre1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct, but if I was OP I would help her to do so by leaving her no choice

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

No, tell your bitch to act right, and to think with her head and not her pussy..

Do you people really think these bitches are gonna listen without your guidance??

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's pointless telling her anything lol. OP already told her before they were official that he wouldn't stick around if she went to see him. She excited and has been dreaming of fucking him if she hasn't already. Telling her to act right will only make things worse. She'll say he's insecure and worried about another man.

She and most women know that flirting with other men and planning to meet them alone is not right while in a relationship BUT she plans on doing it anyway. She's a lost cause and OP should bail.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> Telling her to act right will only make things worse.

Only if your scared to take a loss.

Of course she plans plots and schemes, she is alive and female. Just be sure to check that shit. It's pretty straight forward, you guys know that AWALT. But you can't seem to figure out that YOU need to train them to be your girl. Realistically you will only find a good woman, as defined by trp, (i.e. acts right), unless she's already been trained by a proper man, but then that woman is somehow spoiled for people on here as impure. Makes no sense to me at all.

There once was a wonderful time where girls were raised properly and didn't need as much training, but whatever, step your fucking game up.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She shouldn’t be in contact with someone like this. It’s her responsibility to put a stop to that. IF she can’t conteol herself then NEXT.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

if she went to visit him for three weeks

but this feels disloyal to me

Of course it is

Should I jump ship?


Definitely yes if she meets him. At the very least she's meeting him to "see how she feels". She's keeping herself open to be fucked.

Hypergamy never sleeps.

"Look girl, you want to meet this guy and I understand you're curious and that's fine. But not while you're with me. You need to choose.... meet him or stay with me."

[–]ValorElite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Upvote for trust, but verify

[–]isthisalreadyused-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

he is coming here to visit her

Why did you allow her to have any sort of communication with this guy in the first place? I tell the girls I've had LTRs with they cannot have guy friends, and if they did tell them they cannot talk to or see them any longer. No going out with friends if they bring guy friends either. They don't like it they are free to leave. Cuts that shit out before it starts

[–]HurricaneHugues5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Why did you allow her to have any sort of communication with this guy in the first place? I tell the girls I've had LTRs with they cannot have guy friends, and if they did tell them they cannot talk to or see them any longer. "

Because he's not her dad and he doesn't own her. You can't change a chick into being a person she's not. She either has great and solid morals or she's a lil thot. Stop trying to turn these sluts into what they're not. How did that workout for you in the end.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Lol. Can't go out with girl friends if they bring guys? Gtfo with that insecure bullshit you fagg0t

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kids like you are so toxic and rampant on this sub. Just because you curse it doesn’t make you an alpha or manly at all. Y’all try to act like “it’s tough love”... No your just being a dick.

What are you like 17 grow tf up.

[–]rus93841 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know why you are downvoted but... it's so fucking obvious you kind be with the girl all the time she is not home. In fact, TRP itself tells you not to be so insecure: if your GF goes to party/night club/etc. with her female friends you let her go. At least that's the advice given by Rollo.

So, all these fools think he's wrong. They are not real red pillers.

[–]isthisalreadyused0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not unless I'm there, that's right. Learn to control your women you fucking pussy

And btw, they can bring there own bfs if I'm not there but not any other dudes.

[–]sterquiliniis4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. Better to have peace of mind from creating strong boundaries than getting cucked because you don't want to appear insecure. Women want to feel owned by men they truly desire anyway, so any woman who thinks he would be insecure is a woman he doesn't need in his life. Period.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's reasonable boundaries and there's being a fucking pussy who is so insecure he literally forbids his gf from talking to all men. Jesus dude. So she can't have a job? Play sports? Gtfo outta here with your small dick shit

[–]willso86-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

This is a troll

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

You'll be surprised about that happens. I was with an ex FWB yesterday. She has a boyfriend of 2 years. I invited her over to mine and we were fucking within 5 min.

[–]willso861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know this stuff happens, its just his ridiculous follow up questions that makes me think Bravo Sierra

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You're a bad person and you should feel bad

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Why am i a bad person and why should i feel bad?

I don't know the guy...he's not my friend or even an acquaintance so i don't give a shit about him.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just because you don't know him doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Why would u be that desperate to have to resort to getting with a girl who already has a bf?

Your morals at the end of the day.. I know that's not something I could live with.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not desperate. It's not about being desperate..i just love the thrill, validation and power that comes from it. I don't feel bad. I would if it was a close friend...But i won't even go for the girl of a friend or acquaintance though. You've never been with a girl that has a bf or husband?

[–]IMBDD619 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I feel like as long as she only sees him while your with her then it would be acceptable. Obviously it would suck to hangout with him yourself, but then you can judge how she acts towards him while you're there. From there you can decide if you want to leave her or not. If you bring up that you'd like to come along when she sees him and she's super against it or seems visibly upset, I'd be a little worried.

[–]HurricaneHugues4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I feel like as long as she only sees him while your with her then it would be acceptable. "

In what galaxy?

[–]jrr6415sun-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Every tiny thing means break up in this sub, don’t even ask.

[–]TopOccasion291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP's case isn't a tiny thing though. It's blatant disrespect and a huge red flag.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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