In horrible pain

Whisper · 2019-04-13T05:37:33+00:00

You deal with pain by becoming better.

Once you understand that you can make yourself better, and things will be better for you, then even in horrible emotional pain, you have... hope.

And that's better than all the sympathy in the world.

captaintrippay · 2019-04-13T05:42:32+00:00

Alright fuck this. This sub is slowly becoming a circle jerk of the angry and misinformed.

How do you deal with the pain? Like everybody else. You just DO. Some days you up some days you down. Does it stop you? NO. Do you call it quits and give up? NO. Are there moments where you let it get to you and bring you down? Yes. That’s life brother and it’s normal.

You know what’s not normal? Letting it consume you. Letting this decision or moment hinder your potential. Letting it fester and build up until your blinded by hatred and bitterness. You can read all the comments and theory and whatever until you see like Neo in the matrix, truth is you need time. Time to control these emotions and continue on your journey. This is not the time to be idle or else you’ll fall. Stay strong, embrace your emotions but try and find the root of those emotions. And for god sake read with caution on this sub.

Don’t let this woman or moment define you as a man. You define you.

ahackercalled4chan · 2019-04-13T04:45:13+00:00

How do you deal with pain like this once already red pilled?

Lift.

Seriously, whenever i feel sad or depressed or angry or frustrated or overwhelmed about Life, i lift (in addition to my normal routine). i channel every ounce of that feeling into moving that iron bar. when I'm finished, whatever was keeping me off-balance suddenly doesn't seem so massive anymore.

FieldLine · 2019-04-13T05:01:06+00:00

How do you deal with pain

You just deal with it. Whenever you get news you don't like, actively refuse to let it bother you.

There is no alternative. As a man, you don't have the luxury of wallowing.

FateBender · 2019-04-13T05:22:32+00:00

I have an answer for you, but any answer I give you right now would be theoretical, since historically I have only been good sometimes in dealing with this pain. I would say things that have helped me constructively deal with the pain in the past was being around other people, that is, outside of myself, going for a run, using physical activity to run away from the pain. I use music and art as a form of expression and catharsis, picking up my guitar and playing it into the night is one of the few things that really lets me vocalize the pain and work through it, play a melody. A beautiful, haunting tune that I may never play again, a concert for myself and no one else. The reality is sharing it here is also a great way to get through the pain, the knowledge that all things will pass, and the brotherhood, whatever it may be, that we end up sharing here. I hope you find some catharsis, the most important thing is to process the pain and not carry it around with you, and no amount of drugs or partying will allow you to do that, it will only procrastinate the problem, you'll have to process it and can't run away from it. Like all good things and bad, this too shall pass. Have a good day tomorrow.

Fishey3 · 2019-04-13T05:23:53+00:00

Embrace stoicism and make improvements to your physical health. Because, both mental and physical are interconnected. Wish you all the best.

WoodWizzy87 · 2019-04-13T05:42:43+00:00

Yea once you’ve made it in your career then what? You sound like you regret a lot of stuff... you went for a career and the choices that go with it, now you see her married and you’re like “that could’ve been me”. That doesn’t sound like anger, that sounds like resentment for your choice or jealousy

escapethesolarsystem · 2019-04-13T10:57:15+00:00

This is stupid. If you're in emotional pain, that's what your friends are for. You have friends, right? Like a some close male friends? Go to a bar for some drinks. Chill at home with some beer. Have a LAN party, play some cards, play some board games. Wander around your neighborhood and shoot the shit.

What are you going lock yourself in your room at home and cry? Put on a fake "I'm cool face" everywhere until you're ready to commit suicide? This bullshit is what passes for alpha these days? The fuck.

toothpickhd · 2019-04-13T05:41:43+00:00

TRP is not about learning to suffer in silence, it is about learning to not suffer at all. Who cares if she lied to you, why do you care that much. You have to force yourself to stop worrying about everything.

uptimex · 2019-04-13T06:50:27+00:00

Try to understand yourself, and...

Just kidding. It is just about your self-esteem. You will probably say "no it not about self-esteem, I really loved her." etc. But it is.

Your task is to find ways to raise your self-esteem.

Howdoiusesync · 2019-04-13T04:47:01+00:00

Wow really thought I was the only one.

What really helps, if you can workout or put that pain into something like art or whatever it helps a ton. Meditating also on this pain can help you understand where it's steming from maybe ego? I had a main plate that I had to cut from my life and pain followed. I wanted to stay friends but kept getting those drunk calls and stuff so had to push her away even more(using beta traits helps.) Months later I would wonder the same maybe shes doing better, which I really did hope for (she would drink a lot of her pain and emotional distress away) Found out from the grape vine she still does when she's lonely and fucks when she's in that for some type of validation. That used to be me, doing so. Just not my turn anymore. It was not just pain but disappointing at the same time. What's worse is when they still talk about you to freinds in a negative aspect and you just kinda accept the villian role. When that stuff happens I think to myself where would I be emotionally and mentally if I stuck around until now? Probably not where you wanted to be since her endgame is different. Thinking this, I do hope for love and success in the areas of the lives people wish to push themselves in. If nothing changes it's disappointing. Just knowing it was just your turn helps.

cat_magnet · 2019-04-13T06:25:32+00:00

I would like to point out that you are putting this girl on a pedastal in your mind. You think she is this wonderful virgin angel but believe me she will be a pain in the ass to live with like the rest of them. Statistically there are millions of women out there as good or better than her. You need to work on your abundance so you stop catching oneitis all the time. First step is self improvement.

Vouch33r · 2019-04-13T05:05:14+00:00

I'd start by getting rejected by a ton of girls. You seem to catch oneitis for many women you interact with. Nothing will reduce it like hearing "no, fuck off" a million times

[deleted] · 2019-04-13T05:16:44+00:00

Improve yourself, improve yourself, and improve yourself. Do it until the self you have lifted and educated and financed upwards stops and looks around and says "it only makes sense that I would be standing with her at this altar right now."

Jsieijejeieokkd · 2019-04-13T06:21:12+00:00

This is completely normal, it took me a year to break through. You probably feel:

1) Sad for society and the way things are.

2) sad for your life up until this point.

The only other advice I would offer that hasn’t been said already is to read philosophy. Start with Marcus Aurelius and Buddhist philosophy.

jonadragonslay · 2019-04-13T06:50:10+00:00

That's the pain of foolish pride. She never loved you, it was just your turn. Stop focusing on women if it hurts so much.

markinsinz7 · 2019-04-13T07:23:16+00:00

What did that hottest girl lie about? That had u so fucked up

leftajar · 2019-04-13T08:57:30+00:00

The way to deal with pain, is to ask, "what's the lesson?"

Every painful situation contains a lesson; the greater the pain, the more critical the lesson. Eventually, with time, you can be grateful for your pain -- if heeded, it can lead you towards a better path.

So... what's the lesson here? What's the takeaway?

BajaGhia · 2019-04-13T11:31:09+00:00

Life is pain. Anyone telling you different is selling you something. ~Wesley.

You're young. Don't worry, it gets worse.

Lift, cycle, invest in yourself. Dumb your life down to some basics for a while. Exhaust yourself. The endorphins will make you feel better. Listen to music that makes you feel good in the morning. Stay out of trouble and away from drugs and alcohol.

Learn something new that you are passionate about.

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2019-04-13T16:56:41+00:00

I don’t feel any of it regarding women. Once you go thru a few relationships and the depression phase of TRP your heart becomes a stone and it’s a great thing. Only physical pain hurts now

legaxo · 2019-04-13T19:47:28+00:00

Don't become unmalleable because you're worried about following every single RP teaching. You must be flexible in which advice you choose to follow and select it based on your life. We're all different and want different things out of this life, so what works for somebody else may not work for you. Of course learning how to game other girls and staying abundant is great for self-improvement and marriages are generally a big middle finger to men. But, it's ultimately up to you to decide if you've found the right woman to be with or not. From now on stick to improving yourself with TRP, but stay open minded to your own individual needs/interests.

[deleted] · 2019-04-13T05:31:25+00:00

lied to me about her past in an unforgivable way

What was the lie? She had sugar daddys amiright? Just part of taking the Red Pill, all women are whores. Some supress it, some hide it, some had such a massive whore history in highschool/college that they're past it... Doesn't change their nature.

My only reaction to anyone getting married is pity and thankfulness that its not me...

That said, I understand the feeling, do some relaxing shit, playstation, netflix, get a massage, catch up with a few mates for beers/burgers, jump on Tinder, fuck a younger girl.

Zoddo · 2019-04-13T06:38:45+00:00

If you were to sleep with 25 different women, and had 3+ plates on rotation you wouldn't give a flying fuck about any of this. You're highly susceptible to oneitis because you've had a very small number of experiences, and have no options on hand.

spndxwra · 2019-04-13T07:54:22+00:00

you know what, all the comments are good, but u must have known she wasnt really the 'one' for you.. sometimes we do things subconsciously that we cant reconcile consciously... until we spend time healing..

if she was the one, you would have made it happen.. but it didnt.. so you need to reach deep, let time heal, try and distract yourself ( it will get easier over time) and dont think about her..

its a bit oneititis to be honest, which i know cause ive been there too recently.. but chin up, trust the universe has something better for you..

as i was told recently by a guide, 'u did nothing wrong' -> despite the hurt, u did the right thing.. u just cant see it yet.

hang in there, go exercise - it does help the mind heal!!

Ltrgman · 2019-04-13T08:07:32+00:00

Go out and kick it with your buddies. Might even meet someone new. Staying idle is when your mind will also drift back into those unfortunate memories or thoughts. Stimulate your mind with other activities. Exercise or focusing on work are all viable stimulants. And stay off social media for awhile because you're bound to come across a post or picture that'll remind you of that girl or whomever else.

You'll get over these bitches in about a month or two, then you'll look back and think how silly it all was to feel down about any of that shit.

LifeMaxx · 2019-04-13T09:38:50+00:00

Regret if you do, regret if you don't. There's a bigger world out there. You still have blue pilled views.

thrwy75479 · 2019-04-13T11:01:08+00:00

In addition to lifting, and dealing with the pain, realize that your pain is unique to you but you're not alone in what you're feeling. You don't have to carry the burden by yourself.

Of course there are people that will not want to hear it, or may think less of you for feeling a certain way, and it may just be because it's too much for them. They're human, after all. These are the people you don't need right now.

However, there are people that want to help, and talking to them—whether it's a therapist, or close friends, or family members—is an important part of the healing process. The only way you'll find and relate to these people is by opening yourself up to them and being vulnerable.

This requires great strength on your part, and the fact that you're here and asking for help means you have that strength within you. Thus, I would encourage you to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings with those around you, and you will get through this.

JustSayM · 2019-04-13T11:02:33+00:00

You feel like you missed an opportunity seeing her get married now, but later it might feel like you dodged a bullet if she divorce rapes him one day...

HotHead121 · 2019-04-13T11:23:47+00:00

I understand that everyone here tries to be a tough alpha male and that shit but its ok to feel like that. I dont know much about emotinal help but there muat be a healthy way to deal with this and i went thru the same thing my friend.

resnine · 2019-04-13T13:35:29+00:00

You are whining and in pain because of your stupid oneitis from college. Get over that shit. Game other girls. There is no ONE/SOULMATE... Have you read TRM? She doesn't care about you, is getting her ass licked by your friend and they are married, it's done.. it's dead, accept it and move on. You say you've been reading trp for awhile yet it seems like you've gained no insights or internalized anything. You are hung up on one girl living in her frame.

If this person is doing NOTHING for you. And I mean that she is doing absolutely NOTHING for you, get her out of you mind. It serves no purpose for you to feel all this shit. You clearly lack abundance, IDGAF, prize mentality.

yeahmaybe2 · 2019-04-13T15:20:12+00:00

SUMMARY: You deal with pain by becoming better. Understand that you can make yourself better. You just DO. Don’t Let it consume you, don’t let this decision or moment hinder your potential. Control these emotions and continue on your journey. Focus on your mission. Stay strong, embrace your emotions but try and find the root of those emotions. Don’t let this woman or moment define you as a man. You define you. Have a great career and develop yourself. keep grinding. Know that these things are normal, some of your brothers are experiencing the same shit that you're going through, keep moving forward. Keep lifting, reading, and educating yourself. Process the pain and don’t carry it with you. Compartmentalize the emotions and observe it from a detached perspective. LIFT, channel every ounce of that feeling into moving that iron bar. Find something to live for, find a goal and work towards that. Realize and accept that Life is hard, we're men, Life isn't easy for us, we shoulder the burden and bury our sorrows. Actively refuse to let it bother you, there is no alternative, as a man, you don't have the luxury of wallowing. Shoot & maneuvre. Shoot & maneuvre. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Stoicism. Work on your abundance. Find ways to raise your self-esteem. Meditation Improve yourself, improve yourself, and improve yourself. Read philosophy, start with Marcus Aurelius and Buddhist philosophy. Stop focusing on women. Ask, "what's the lesson? Dumb your life down to some basics for a while, Exhaust yourself. Learn something new. Learn to not suffer. Reach deep, let time heal, distract yourself, don’t think about her. Trust that the universe has something better for you. Stimulate your mind with other activities. Exercise or focus on work, stay off social media for a while. Find some close male friends, go to a bar for some drinks, chill at home with some beer, play some cards, play some board games. Wander around your neighborhood and shoot the shit. Realize that your pain is unique to you, but you're not alone in what you're feeling. You don't have to carry the burden by yourself. Find a therapist, or close friends, or family members—open yourself up to them and be vulnerable, reach out and share your thoughts and feelings with those around you, and you will get through this. Game other girls. DGAF

areq13 · 2019-04-13T15:50:43+00:00

I clicked on your post because I've had chronic pain and wondered what that has to do with TRP. You can guess my next thought.

Maybe you're too sensitive to play this game. Start hiding your savings in bitcoin, gold or whatever before you fall in love again.

DouglasPR · 2019-04-13T16:33:34+00:00

Relax and be happy, you are young and single. Lift, focus on your improvement in areas you are lacking, read, talk to people, practice your game. You gonna be fine

boom_bostic · 2019-04-13T16:50:28+00:00

You let the finest piece of ass you’ve ever had go over something that was in her past?

Just curious what was so bad that made you drop her just like that?

MattyAnon · 2019-04-13T16:50:31+00:00

And i feel a horrible mix of pain and regret

You wish for a life of servitude and regret?

Look at every single marriage you can find when the guy is in his 30's having married a gorgeous girl in early 20's.

Every time: she's fat and unattractive, the guy has cold dead eyes and no spark, they have little sex and want even less because they're both so unattractive. Relentless disrespect, guy mutters "happy wife happy life" but doesn't quite get the happy life part...

Marriage is a shit show. Don't wish for it.

FinallyRed · 2019-04-13T17:44:17+00:00

I'm a firm believer that one of the few things we have true control over is our breathing. Inhale for 3-5 seconds, hold for 3-5 seconds, exhale for 3-5 seconds, repeat. I'm serious. It's amazing how you can take hold of your emotional state and get in the driver seat of life with this simple concept.

PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP · 2019-04-13T18:34:54+00:00

If you need to vent your emotions but don't trust anyone around you, or are tactically minded and don't want anyone to know your inner workings, there's an online website called 7Cups were people will listen to you vent for free.

Zanford · 2019-04-13T20:07:02+00:00

Get off social media. Or at least unfollow your exes and don't Instagram-stalk 'em (maybe get a URL blocker for your browser and block her social media pages)

Get out into the physical realm, hit the gym. When you have hundreds of pounds of plates on a barbell weighing down on your shoulders as you try to crank out that last squat and you feel like Atlas, other shit stops mattering.

P.S. Don't be upset your ex is getting married. It just means some dude is going to end up paying or losing half his wealth to get some time kissing (and listening to the bitchings from) a mouth that you jizzed in years before when she was tighter and had a lower notch count.

vandaalen · 2019-04-13T07:33:37+00:00

http://archive.is/agtCP

Title	In horrible pain
Author	Churningaway
Upvotes	139
Comments	87
Date	13 April 2019 04:19 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/225201
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bcmuhs/in_horrible_pain/