In horrible pain

Reddit View
April 13, 2019
139 upvotes

One of the craziest parts of trp I had to swallow was the fact that if you're in horrible (emotional) pain, its 99.9% of the time better to ride it out in private. Suffer in silence. We all have these times where we dont feel like Chad thundercock. When it rains it pours and sometimes life gets one over on you and gets you in a headlock for a bit.

I learned this the hard way when I realized a girl I was seeing, definitely the hottest i had been with at the time, lied to me about her past in an unforgivable way. I was disgusted of her, myself for being fooled and then the pain of having to let her go while I still loved her felt like I was chopping off one of my arms. That was my entrance into TRP. I rode it out in mostly private and focused on other facets in life. I'm a firm believer that for a man a concoction of pain, adversity, and bitter uphill climb leads to a boy becoming a man. It's a journey few boys complete. Most end up dying as boys so for that I'm grateful.

My question is this. Tonight I feel in horrible pain again. Another girl I met in college is getting married. Pictures and videos are everywhere on IG and I tried avoiding it but I cant. Shes a girl I loved deeply in college. She wanted me too. She was holding out for marriage (I know what folks here believe about that being a shit-test), a genuine virgin. Cute, shy, small. Unfortunately, I told her no many times because I wanted to further my career and placed a priority on gaming other girls and getting money and I felt she was too innocent to game..

Now I see her getting married. To one of my friends at that. And i feel a horrible mix of pain and regret. Pain because I likely will never talk to her again. And regret because i could have had her. This path that we follow is a lonely one. The reward is definitely great, i keep moving up in life. But the cost also huge...

How do you deal with pain like this once already red pilled?


Post Information
Title In horrible pain
Author Churningaway
Upvotes 139
Comments 87
Date 13 April 2019 04:19 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/225201
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bcmuhs/in_horrible_pain/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
Chadshit testgamethe red pill
Comments

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper136 points137 points  (4 children) | Copy

You deal with pain by becoming better.

Once you understand that you can make yourself better, and things will be better for you, then even in horrible emotional pain, you have... hope.

And that's better than all the sympathy in the world.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hope can be a double-edged sword though. You don't want to run on an eternal treadmill of delusional hope like many BP guys do. I do understand the distinction you're trying to make between self-action based hope ("I can change this") vs hope in the universe ("Things will get better, the signs point to it"), the kind of hope that relies on tarot card readings and the opinions of others.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Universe will only reward you for taking the right action. Can't just sit back and wait. You're on the right track.

[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's similar to The burden of Atlas u/Churningaway. The burden doesn't get lighter; you just stronger.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]captaintrippay94 points95 points  (4 children) | Copy

Alright fuck this. This sub is slowly becoming a circle jerk of the angry and misinformed.

How do you deal with the pain? Like everybody else. You just DO. Some days you up some days you down. Does it stop you? NO. Do you call it quits and give up? NO. Are there moments where you let it get to you and bring you down? Yes. That’s life brother and it’s normal.

You know what’s not normal? Letting it consume you. Letting this decision or moment hinder your potential. Letting it fester and build up until your blinded by hatred and bitterness. You can read all the comments and theory and whatever until you see like Neo in the matrix, truth is you need time. Time to control these emotions and continue on your journey. This is not the time to be idle or else you’ll fall. Stay strong, embrace your emotions but try and find the root of those emotions. And for god sake read with caution on this sub.

Don’t let this woman or moment define you as a man. You define you.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah not letting it stop me. Have a great career and developing myself constantly. It's just this momentary lapses, 1 night here and there that get me and I'm like motherfucker lol

[–]captaintrippay18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congratulations. You’re human.

Much love and keep grinding. It’ll all workout

[–]juanfuerzaPH2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I go through these momentary lapses as well brother. It's a good thing to know that these things are normal and whenever these kinds of shit pops up, just remember that somewhere along the world, some of your RP-brothers are experiencing the same shit that you're going through;

and that they keep moving forward towards the promised land where they eat and excrete shit tests for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. A place where no fucks are given, and a place where we achieve our full potential. Keep lifting, reading, and educating yourself during these times of turmoil. Our hobbies that help us improve on other facets of our lives are the ones that keep us away from our inner demons.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nobody gets it perfect

[–]ahackercalled4chan80 points81 points  (18 children) | Copy

How do you deal with pain like this once already red pilled?

Lift.

Seriously, whenever i feel sad or depressed or angry or frustrated or overwhelmed about Life, i lift (in addition to my normal routine). i channel every ounce of that feeling into moving that iron bar. when I'm finished, whatever was keeping me off-balance suddenly doesn't seem so massive anymore.

[–]Reprimanded_Duck 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Lifting is the only reason I’m alive today. Had I ridden out the waves and dammed up my depression, frustration and anger after she left, I don’t think I’d be here today— or I’d be in a really terrible place.

A Chad friend of mine killed himself last year after the girl he was dating cheated on him. Hung himself in his back yard. This kid had everything— a fast car, a good job, he was a solid 10/10, handsome, was a wrestler and avid weight lifter. He threw it ALL AWAY because of one girl. The “friends” he opened up to about his suicidal thoughts laughed and called him a pussy or told him to do it.

My point: Interbally struggling makes us tougher, but if you need to vent that frustration, the gym is the place to go. If you want to talk about my regrets which are very similar to yours, I’m here for you OP (if you read this). With time, all regrets fade into oblivion. The most important thing for you to do now is to find something or someone else to live for. Find a goal and work towards that.

[–]GandMeChattri16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is so sad.

Society pities women and the same society laughs at men with emotional problems.

Disgraceful.

[–]Sircaph0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ironically men commit suicide 3.64x more than women.

[–]Xxdaunknown1307xX16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

This

If I don't lift during day I start feeling those emotions. Being active really works wonders to your emotions.

[–]captaintrippay18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

Man quit regurgitating what you see on here and be human for a moment. Assuming everything this man said to be true, you think lifting is gonna help him? Momentarily, maybe. This the kind of question that can‘t be answered by any of us. Only through op’s healing process.

[–]cat_magnet22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lifting or running really clears my head and makes me feel better. Hell of a lot better than binging on food or alcohol like I used to in the past.

[–]RinkyInky23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tbf this isn’t that bad advice. I’m against the regurgitation of mantra here too but lifting is like meditation to me. When you’re feeling extremely sad, go do that first, or any other form of meditation. Don’t need to lift heavy or kill it in them gym, just focus. Tackle and evaluate your feelings with a clear mind after that.

[–]jellyman64310 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Lift , awalt , fuck feelings , be alpha , plates , " trp things

[–]vhfvbbjjjvgt 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You gotto lift forever right?

[–]OracleofFl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just till you die. No point in doing it after that.

[–]SalporinRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lifting/running is only meant to help in the moment. Obviously he will have to deal with his feelings in the long term.

When I went through a painful breakup the only time I felt any peace was when I was in the gym just blasting music and lifting heavy. As soon as I got back home I was depressed again.

[–]JJ9OO8KK5II2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He never claimed that it would be a long-term solution. OP also never requested a long-term solution, he asked for any advice. You think nobody here has ever hit the gym before out of frustration? We all know that it isn't permanent and you're trying to give the man shit for giving honest advice from personal experience.

[–]redpilledjoe-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I mean it can only do so much. I'm literally becoming addicted to alcohol from so much bullshit from women

[–]animalapemachine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alcohol is a corrosive solvent that destroys lives, especially for men in pain. Check yourself before it is too late.

[–]ahackercalled4chan2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

[redacted]

[–]redpilledjoe0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm a pretty young guy (21) and I have a really hard time dealing with my shit. I lift 6x a week but at the end of the day I feel lonely as fuck especially when I'm not seeing anybody so I just drink to ignore it. I'm scared of becoming an addict man

[–]ahackercalled4chan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[redacted]

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine26 points27 points  (12 children) | Copy

How do you deal with pain

You just deal with it. Whenever you get news you don't like, actively refuse to let it bother you.

There is no alternative. As a man, you don't have the luxury of wallowing.

[–]CptGoodnight 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

I choose some role models. I hear just one thing about them & I can think about it over & over.

For example: I once heard that Trump has an amazing capacity to reset every morning.

I think about that all the time. How does he handle SO much crap, so many attacks, and wake up ready to go like nothing's wrong.

He focuses on posituve things. Resets each morning with his life focused around what he wants to get done.

I ain't no Trump. But my past, and my current lacking things just don't bother me as much. Wake up. Maneuvre from where you are.

Shoot & maneuvre. Shoot & maneuvre.

That's my word of 2019. "Maneuvre."

[–]EvolvedVirus0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Trump is a little bitch with no frame and a gigantic line of suckups, brown-nosers, sycophants, and corrupt assholes calling him day and night to suck his dick. The only thing he actually knows how to do is double-down on stupid.

You don't have the luxuries Trump does. If you're thinking of Trump, then you've got it all wrong, his life will never be as bad or as easy as yours unless he somehow winds up in prison.

Trump is basically like all the insane women we've met, who lived a spoiled life, who had everything handed to them like a princess, and then he finally has to face some criticism in the media, and he cries like a weak bitch about it on twitter all day. He's basically a princess.

handle SO much crap, so many attacks,

He does it to himself. Every one of them is his own fault, Bush was conservative and was constantly attacked by the media but he never let it get him down. Because Trump finds destructive ways to do everything in a way that always makes himself look bad.

If you look up to Trump, I feel pity for you. Looking up to a sad, bitter, insane, fat moron, who bankrupted his businesses and had to borrow from the fucking Russians and calls his underlings "rats" because he thinks he's a mafia boss. They say he's a weakling crying in his room all the time watching Fox & Friends to cheer himself up.

Just goes to show you, no title of President saves you from yourself.

You can be RED PILL AS HELL with tons of practice with women unlike Trump --- but if you have no brains and you keep doubling down on stupid, you are going to just hurt yourself and eventually you'll just collapse in your own piss when you hit rock bottom. You have to smarten up.

[–]CptGoodnight 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Couldn't disagree more. Trump's frame is legendary. So much so that:

  • the tides of the media rise & fall with him.
  • Hollywood & their cabal of "comedians" thought surely he'd fall after their incessant haranguing. Nope. Powerless.
  • Elite deep state non-elected "legacy admission" types Intelligence Community shot their biggest gun. Trump still standing. Never lost his cool, and now their knife is being turned back on them.
  • tech industry actively conspires to undermine him, but Americans are seeing right through it.
  • he defeated the entire MASSIVE Clinton/Bush dynastic machine under budget & without losing any positivity.

He fired & maneuvred. All while being fired upon by a veritable 20 to 1 army. He's the god damn Audie Murphy of American politics.

The "I feel pity for you" is a woman's way of arguing. Stop that.

Btw. Trump is married to a model. Has a large family. Is a billionaire. Became your President on his first attempt. Against all odds.

Can you beat that?

No? Then what are you on about?

[–]EvolvedVirus-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

There is no such frame. What are you smoking? You're letting your politics cloud your judgment on what is frame.

How does a President "fall" outside of impeachment??? What are you talking about?

Hahahaha "deeeeeeepe statuuuu", looks like someone has a case of conspiracy theory nuttery. You are out of your mind bro it's sad. The people you accuse of (the ones who are criticizing Trump) have literally fought the enemy and are veterans, while Trump dodged the draft like a pussy.

Anyone reading this should know who the patriots are, and who the pussies are. Don't let some politicians "doubling down on stupid" make you think he has "frame". Nancy Pelosi and AOC doubles down on stupid all the time, no one calls them "alpha".

non-elected

Literally repeating after the leader, like a good koolaid drinker. You have no frame bro, you are no alpha. You are a follower.

The whole of government IS "non-elected types"--that's what this country was founded upon, where trusted elected representatives are the boss of "non-elected types" and there are laws to prevent a new election from changing every part of government for what reason? For stability. For sanity.

tech industry actively conspires to undermine him

How they allow him to have millions of fake followers on social media. What are you talking about?

E Clinton/Bush dynastic

It's not a dynastic anything, it's called name-recognition. It's a very simple concept. Same with Kennedy's, same with Roosevelts, same with Pauls (who father and son both got elected due to name recognition). I don't see you complaining about anyone else.

He fired & maneuvred

he fired people through twitter, there is nothing LESS MANLY... What maneuvering? He is president, he can do whatever he wants unless impeached.

fired upon

From where? What are you talking about? You act like criticism of the president is some sort of "heinous crime". You're an authoritarian.

woman's way of arguing

Hahaha, someone is really butthurt that their cult leader is getting destroyed in the media. Drink more koolaid little bro, maybe you'll ascend to his heights!

Trump is married to a model.

An Eastern European model who barely speaks English marrying a "BILLIONAIRE" on "TV"? Are you about to brag about his red pill while ignoring all the red pill philosophy about Fame, Fortune, Social Status???

You know I see what's happening here. I figured it out. The reason you are bragging about Trump's "frame" is because you are attracted to him. It's homoeroticism. You are attracted to his confidence. You are attracted to the idea that he can say what he wants and criticism doesn't "get him fired" because well, he's President, and impeachment isn't an easy thing.

You are attracted to Trump, there's no other explanation. You're worshiping him like as if he is your God. It's sickeningly beta behavior.

No normal man would fall so deeply in love with ONE POLITICIAN. Politicians come and go... But for you to fall in love and drink his koolaid, is the most pathetic thing I've seen.

It's like you got called out a bunch of times and had to bend over at work, so now you see Trump doubling down after saying stupid things and you think that's "frame"

[–]CptGoodnight 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Go read "The Devil's Chessboard" which is a history of the CIA. Then come back & tell me there's no deep state acting often with no accountability, toppling & creating nations, and involving themselves deeply in American elections.

Go learn about the pipeline between elite Universities, America's rich class, industry & high up un-elected positions all entertwined.

You're ignorant.

Bush Senior: CIA head, then President. His son also became President. His other son was Governer of a swing state. It doesn't get much more dynastic than that.

Clinton didn't/doesn'nt have a huge political machine almost unparralelled by any other Democrat right now? Dude. You know nothing.

The rest of your post is just woman type arguments. Dismissed out of hand.

Btw. Assuming you're American, Trump is your President. Donald J. Trump Leader of the Free World. God bless America. God bless Commander in Chief Donald Trump.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Trump-Pence 2020.

[–]EvolvedVirus-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

From history?? Bro, they used to topple nations all the time throughout the Cold War, and that's exactly what an ALPHA LIBERTY-ORIENTED REPUBLIC should do. In fact, it is now filled with betas who aren't doing that and are taking all this shit dumped on them from leftists.

An alpha liberty nation, led by alphas, would not hesitate to take out any enemies, any dictators who oppose them. They wouldn't care about your feelings and morality, they would just ACT upon these assholes around the world.

elite Universities, America's rich class, industry & high up

WAIT WAIT WAIT... The Elite are in charge?? Wait you're saying the alpha and elite, and the top of their class, are in charge? AS HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE? That's odd that you hate the rich, you sound like a communist.

Bush Senior: CIA head, then President.

Yeah, because that's what happens to war heroes with medals and stars who were excellent speech givers full of ideas. They get to the top of the dominance hierarchy.

You know what doesn't happen? A fat moron who dodges the draft, in debt to the tune of "8 billion dollars" according to Ivanka's own mouth, somehow getting elected, with suspicious ties to the Russians. It's amazing how you lack patriotism and then call me ignorant.

Clinton didn't/doesn'nt have a huge political machine

Yeah and I am glad their "machine" is smoldering and in ashes... It's great. I LOVE that Clinton lost. Doesn't mean, as an alpha, I am to also worship a fat moron who is in debt to Russians.

It's not a contradiction... 2016 election was a shit-show... A cluster-fuck of weak candidates.

You sound very slavic man, those are the only types I know that are so bizarrely in-love and obsessed with Trump. It's never your neighborhood redneck or conservative... It's always the Slavic types who are like "but he has a beautiful Eastern European wife, he's so alpha!!" It's sad the amount of envy you have of him. Especially the type who goes into "read this book about conspiracy theories about evil amrruuuKKKaaaaaaa"

Tell me I'm wrong. Tell us to our face, that you hate the Russians and aren't Slavic... go ahead... let's see you say it. You're just a "CONCERNED American" who is CONCERNED about the "US history of toppling govs and serving rich class" like a communist.

Place your bets everyone: Conservative Concerned American concerned about America's history of toppling dictators.... or communist Slav who just loves telling us about the "elite" and "rich" class and all those sexy Eastern European models...

Beta as fuck...

Long live the illuminati man, they are alpha as fuck.

[–]CptGoodnight 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I'm American with mostly British & German heritage from middle USA.

Lay off the Rockstar energy drinks my dude.

[–]EvolvedVirus-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh my gosh bruh... Red bull gives wings man... I ordered dat dere "Diet Mt. Dew Code Red" too.

But at least I don't drink Trump Vodka.

Bet you masturbate when Trump says "his 'German' father has good 'German' genes". Such attraction...

Broseph Stalin, listen bruh, he's not a real blond

[–]CptGoodnight 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Trump-Pence 2020!

President Donald J. Trump.

He'll be in your brain and mind til you die. His decisions will effect you the rest of your life.

And he will never even know you ever existed. Sad.

Trump-Pence 2020!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah.

[–]harbinger19450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well some people like me need just a small trigger..a small message here or whatever bullshit customer will throw my way. It basically means fighting depresion 2x times a week. It sucks.

Lifting helps only so far and its place take long term addiction(gaming or alcohol). Its usually in cycles where i will be sober for months and then i will go binge drinking every week for months.

It didnt take its toll on my actual health..and i usually find a girl to fuck so depression will go away for some time. It never really works for long through.

The worst thing is that i just see it coming, i know what i will do, but alternative just doesnt seems to be that attractive.

In last 6 months i lost all my friends and girl i probably loved the most. At that point of time i wanted to kill myself. I didnt. It has to get better. It will get better. Maybe i will relapse again, so be it. Its life and we deal with it as best as we can. Even if it means dealing with shit we dont want to.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have an answer for you, but any answer I give you right now would be theoretical, since historically I have only been good sometimes in dealing with this pain. I would say things that have helped me constructively deal with the pain in the past was being around other people, that is, outside of myself, going for a run, using physical activity to run away from the pain. I use music and art as a form of expression and catharsis, picking up my guitar and playing it into the night is one of the few things that really lets me vocalize the pain and work through it, play a melody. A beautiful, haunting tune that I may never play again, a concert for myself and no one else. The reality is sharing it here is also a great way to get through the pain, the knowledge that all things will pass, and the brotherhood, whatever it may be, that we end up sharing here. I hope you find some catharsis, the most important thing is to process the pain and not carry it around with you, and no amount of drugs or partying will allow you to do that, it will only procrastinate the problem, you'll have to process it and can't run away from it. Like all good things and bad, this too shall pass. Have a good day tomorrow.

[–]FateBender0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I use music and art as a form of expression and catharsis, picking up my guitar and playing it into the night is one of the few things that really lets me vocalize the pain and work through it, play a melody.

Spot on. I can't even begin to explain how much this song, for example, has helped me through depression.

[–]MCA_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

can confirm, whenever im depressed or bummed out, I jump on my piano and just play around, try to write emotional music you can connect too, listen to other music, usually after 30mins - 1hour I feel so much better, It doesn't get rid of the pain but helps you too accept it and see things aren't so bad

[–]Fishey33 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Embrace stoicism and make improvements to your physical health. Because, both mental and physical are interconnected. Wish you all the best.

[–]WoodWizzy873 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yea once you’ve made it in your career then what? You sound like you regret a lot of stuff... you went for a career and the choices that go with it, now you see her married and you’re like “that could’ve been me”. That doesn’t sound like anger, that sounds like resentment for your choice or jealousy

[–]CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's like a feminist who smashed through the glass ceiling and realised her cats will feed on her corpse when she dies. Find greater meaning in life, build your vocation yes, but also invest in your legacy.

[–]escapethesolarsystem3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is stupid. If you're in emotional pain, that's what your friends are for. You have friends, right? Like a some close male friends? Go to a bar for some drinks. Chill at home with some beer. Have a LAN party, play some cards, play some board games. Wander around your neighborhood and shoot the shit.

What are you going lock yourself in your room at home and cry? Put on a fake "I'm cool face" everywhere until you're ready to commit suicide? This bullshit is what passes for alpha these days? The fuck.

[–]toothpickhd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is not about learning to suffer in silence, it is about learning to not suffer at all. Who cares if she lied to you, why do you care that much. You have to force yourself to stop worrying about everything.

[–]uptimex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try to understand yourself, and...

Just kidding. It is just about your self-esteem. You will probably say "no it not about self-esteem, I really loved her." etc. But it is.

Your task is to find ways to raise your self-esteem.

[–]Howdoiusesync4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow really thought I was the only one.

What really helps, if you can workout or put that pain into something like art or whatever it helps a ton. Meditating also on this pain can help you understand where it's steming from maybe ego? I had a main plate that I had to cut from my life and pain followed. I wanted to stay friends but kept getting those drunk calls and stuff so had to push her away even more(using beta traits helps.) Months later I would wonder the same maybe shes doing better, which I really did hope for (she would drink a lot of her pain and emotional distress away) Found out from the grape vine she still does when she's lonely and fucks when she's in that for some type of validation. That used to be me, doing so. Just not my turn anymore. It was not just pain but disappointing at the same time. What's worse is when they still talk about you to freinds in a negative aspect and you just kinda accept the villian role. When that stuff happens I think to myself where would I be emotionally and mentally if I stuck around until now? Probably not where you wanted to be since her endgame is different. Thinking this, I do hope for love and success in the areas of the lives people wish to push themselves in. If nothing changes it's disappointing. Just knowing it was just your turn helps.

[–]cat_magnet5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would like to point out that you are putting this girl on a pedastal in your mind. You think she is this wonderful virgin angel but believe me she will be a pain in the ass to live with like the rest of them. Statistically there are millions of women out there as good or better than her. You need to work on your abundance so you stop catching oneitis all the time. First step is self improvement.

[–]Vouch33r3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd start by getting rejected by a ton of girls. You seem to catch oneitis for many women you interact with. Nothing will reduce it like hearing "no, fuck off" a million times

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

probably true. that was definitely one of my weaknesses. have much better control of my thoughts now. but those old thoughts still creep up now and then

[–]Vouch33r7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Let me then assure you, none of that will bother you in the near future. Let's look at it mathematically: Your pain, p, is a function of time, t.

p(t) = 1/t

The more time goes by, the less pain you will feel. May sound ridiculous just right now, but have you ever had a tantrum as a kid? You could have screamed your lungs out for a toy which seemed precious when you were 5. Would you do the same now? We understand that you might feel bad for a missed opportunity but recognize it is not the reality. In reality the supply of such opportunities is almost infinite (lets assume just 100 000 girls you meet. Can you possibly even get to know them all? No way ). The scarcity in your mind comes from the fact that the seemingly infinite supply might be really small NOW. But as I said before, there is only time that will change it now.

Hope what I said was logical. Keep going bro and do some physical activity, will help you sleep at night.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great response.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Improve yourself, improve yourself, and improve yourself. Do it until the self you have lifted and educated and financed upwards stops and looks around and says "it only makes sense that I would be standing with her at this altar right now."

[–]Jsieijejeieokkd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is completely normal, it took me a year to break through. You probably feel:

1) Sad for society and the way things are.

2) sad for your life up until this point.

The only other advice I would offer that hasn’t been said already is to read philosophy. Start with Marcus Aurelius and Buddhist philosophy.

[–]jonadragonslay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the pain of foolish pride. She never loved you, it was just your turn. Stop focusing on women if it hurts so much.

[–]markinsinz71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What did that hottest girl lie about? That had u so fucked up

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The way to deal with pain, is to ask, "what's the lesson?"

Every painful situation contains a lesson; the greater the pain, the more critical the lesson. Eventually, with time, you can be grateful for your pain -- if heeded, it can lead you towards a better path.

So... what's the lesson here? What's the takeaway?

[–]BajaGhia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life is pain. Anyone telling you different is selling you something. ~Wesley.

You're young. Don't worry, it gets worse.

Lift, cycle, invest in yourself. Dumb your life down to some basics for a while. Exhaust yourself. The endorphins will make you feel better. Listen to music that makes you feel good in the morning. Stay out of trouble and away from drugs and alcohol.

Learn something new that you are passionate about.

[–]its_meKnightSwolaire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t feel any of it regarding women. Once you go thru a few relationships and the depression phase of TRP your heart becomes a stone and it’s a great thing. Only physical pain hurts now

[–]legaxo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't become unmalleable because you're worried about following every single RP teaching. You must be flexible in which advice you choose to follow and select it based on your life. We're all different and want different things out of this life, so what works for somebody else may not work for you. Of course learning how to game other girls and staying abundant is great for self-improvement and marriages are generally a big middle finger to men. But, it's ultimately up to you to decide if you've found the right woman to be with or not. From now on stick to improving yourself with TRP, but stay open minded to your own individual needs/interests.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice. Need to use the knowledge here as it applies to our individual situations

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

lied to me about her past in an unforgivable way

What was the lie? She had sugar daddys amiright? Just part of taking the Red Pill, all women are whores. Some supress it, some hide it, some had such a massive whore history in highschool/college that they're past it... Doesn't change their nature.

My only reaction to anyone getting married is pity and thankfulness that its not me...

That said, I understand the feeling, do some relaxing shit, playstation, netflix, get a massage, catch up with a few mates for beers/burgers, jump on Tinder, fuck a younger girl.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Naw basically her whole thing was that she was a virgin looking for long term commitment. That shit was doubtful as fuck to me after the first blowjob cause she was a blowjob queen, turned out to be a huge lie lol.

Seems so dumb thinking back on it now, then again didnt have this perspective then

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol! Who gives a fuck, at least she wasn’t a paid whore... the issue is you for having an issue with her not being a virgin. What is this Saudi Arabia?

[–]Zoddo 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

If you were to sleep with 25 different women, and had 3+ plates on rotation you wouldn't give a flying fuck about any of this. You're highly susceptible to oneitis because you've had a very small number of experiences, and have no options on hand.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He lacks abundance and therefore he overinvests. It's like that.

[–]spndxwra0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you know what, all the comments are good, but u must have known she wasnt really the 'one' for you.. sometimes we do things subconsciously that we cant reconcile consciously... until we spend time healing..

if she was the one, you would have made it happen.. but it didnt.. so you need to reach deep, let time heal, try and distract yourself ( it will get easier over time) and dont think about her..

its a bit oneititis to be honest, which i know cause ive been there too recently.. but chin up, trust the universe has something better for you..

as i was told recently by a guide, 'u did nothing wrong' -> despite the hurt, u did the right thing.. u just cant see it yet.

hang in there, go exercise - it does help the mind heal!!

[–]Ltrgman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go out and kick it with your buddies. Might even meet someone new. Staying idle is when your mind will also drift back into those unfortunate memories or thoughts. Stimulate your mind with other activities. Exercise or focusing on work are all viable stimulants. And stay off social media for awhile because you're bound to come across a post or picture that'll remind you of that girl or whomever else.

You'll get over these bitches in about a month or two, then you'll look back and think how silly it all was to feel down about any of that shit.

[–]LifeMaxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Regret if you do, regret if you don't. There's a bigger world out there. You still have blue pilled views.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In addition to lifting, and dealing with the pain, realize that your pain is unique to you but you're not alone in what you're feeling. You don't have to carry the burden by yourself.

Of course there are people that will not want to hear it, or may think less of you for feeling a certain way, and it may just be because it's too much for them. They're human, after all. These are the people you don't need right now.

However, there are people that want to help, and talking to them—whether it's a therapist, or close friends, or family members—is an important part of the healing process. The only way you'll find and relate to these people is by opening yourself up to them and being vulnerable.

This requires great strength on your part, and the fact that you're here and asking for help means you have that strength within you. Thus, I would encourage you to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings with those around you, and you will get through this.

[–]JustSayM0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You feel like you missed an opportunity seeing her get married now, but later it might feel like you dodged a bullet if she divorce rapes him one day...

[–]animalapemachine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. How long do "marriages" last these days?

Divorce is inevitable.

OP's suffering would be magnified exponentially when she divorces him after he has invested (his best) years into her.

[–]HotHead1210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I understand that everyone here tries to be a tough alpha male and that shit but its ok to feel like that. I dont know much about emotinal help but there muat be a healthy way to deal with this and i went thru the same thing my friend.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are whining and in pain because of your stupid oneitis from college. Get over that shit. Game other girls. There is no ONE/SOULMATE... Have you read TRM? She doesn't care about you, is getting her ass licked by your friend and they are married, it's done.. it's dead, accept it and move on. You say you've been reading trp for awhile yet it seems like you've gained no insights or internalized anything. You are hung up on one girl living in her frame.

If this person is doing NOTHING for you. And I mean that she is doing absolutely NOTHING for you, get her out of you mind. It serves no purpose for you to feel all this shit. You clearly lack abundance, IDGAF, prize mentality.

[–]yeahmaybe20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

SUMMARY: You deal with pain by becoming better. Understand that you can make yourself better. You just DO. Don’t Let it consume you, don’t let this decision or moment hinder your potential. Control these emotions and continue on your journey. Focus on your mission. Stay strong, embrace your emotions but try and find the root of those emotions. Don’t let this woman or moment define you as a man. You define you. Have a great career and develop yourself. keep grinding. Know that these things are normal, some of your brothers are experiencing the same shit that you're going through, keep moving forward. Keep lifting, reading, and educating yourself. Process the pain and don’t carry it with you. Compartmentalize the emotions and observe it from a detached perspective. LIFT, channel every ounce of that feeling into moving that iron bar. Find something to live for, find a goal and work towards that. Realize and accept that Life is hard, we're men, Life isn't easy for us, we shoulder the burden and bury our sorrows. Actively refuse to let it bother you, there is no alternative, as a man, you don't have the luxury of wallowing. Shoot & maneuvre. Shoot & maneuvre. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Stoicism. Work on your abundance. Find ways to raise your self-esteem. Meditation Improve yourself, improve yourself, and improve yourself. Read philosophy, start with Marcus Aurelius and Buddhist philosophy. Stop focusing on women. Ask, "what's the lesson? Dumb your life down to some basics for a while, Exhaust yourself. Learn something new. Learn to not suffer. Reach deep, let time heal, distract yourself, don’t think about her. Trust that the universe has something better for you. Stimulate your mind with other activities. Exercise or focus on work, stay off social media for a while. Find some close male friends, go to a bar for some drinks, chill at home with some beer, play some cards, play some board games. Wander around your neighborhood and shoot the shit. Realize that your pain is unique to you, but you're not alone in what you're feeling. You don't have to carry the burden by yourself. Find a therapist, or close friends, or family members—open yourself up to them and be vulnerable, reach out and share your thoughts and feelings with those around you, and you will get through this. Game other girls. DGAF

[–]areq130 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I clicked on your post because I've had chronic pain and wondered what that has to do with TRP. You can guess my next thought.

Maybe you're too sensitive to play this game. Start hiding your savings in bitcoin, gold or whatever before you fall in love again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a constant battle between the old and the new.

To me I see it as a spectrum, the blue pill and associated emotions on the left and the red on the right.

We're all capable of seeing both sides of the coin. We've all caught oneitis.

The important thing TRP has taught me is to put logic above emotion and that's been a key

[–]DouglasPR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Relax and be happy, you are young and single. Lift, focus on your improvement in areas you are lacking, read, talk to people, practice your game. You gonna be fine

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You let the finest piece of ass you’ve ever had go over something that was in her past?

Just curious what was so bad that made you drop her just like that?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And i feel a horrible mix of pain and regret

You wish for a life of servitude and regret?

Look at every single marriage you can find when the guy is in his 30's having married a gorgeous girl in early 20's.

Every time: she's fat and unattractive, the guy has cold dead eyes and no spark, they have little sex and want even less because they're both so unattractive. Relentless disrespect, guy mutters "happy wife happy life" but doesn't quite get the happy life part...

Marriage is a shit show. Don't wish for it.

[–]FinallyRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a firm believer that one of the few things we have true control over is our breathing. Inhale for 3-5 seconds, hold for 3-5 seconds, exhale for 3-5 seconds, repeat. I'm serious. It's amazing how you can take hold of your emotional state and get in the driver seat of life with this simple concept.

[–]PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you need to vent your emotions but don't trust anyone around you, or are tactically minded and don't want anyone to know your inner workings, there's an online website called 7Cups were people will listen to you vent for free.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get off social media. Or at least unfollow your exes and don't Instagram-stalk 'em (maybe get a URL blocker for your browser and block her social media pages)

Get out into the physical realm, hit the gym. When you have hundreds of pounds of plates on a barbell weighing down on your shoulders as you try to crank out that last squat and you feel like Atlas, other shit stops mattering.

P.S. Don't be upset your ex is getting married. It just means some dude is going to end up paying or losing half his wealth to get some time kissing (and listening to the bitchings from) a mouth that you jizzed in years before when she was tighter and had a lower notch count.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter