I been dating my girl for 9 months and the honeymoon stage is over. We fight constantly. I start by calmly talking to her and it ends in a screaming match. I know I shouldn’t be participating in this but damn she’s good at dragging me in.
She is very sensitive and when I try to AA/AM she get really but hurt and more pissed off. She thinks I’m being an asshole I guess or that I’m poking fun at her and she becomes bitcher
When I STFU. She will complain that I don’t show her any love and it causes her to be colder. So we end up just not really interacting normal.
If I sit down and calmly try to talk to her she ends up going right to defense and it makes it hard to compromise anything. It usually ends in me walking away. Sleeping in a different room by choice. Because I don’t want to be next to her. Or just leaving the house. Then she will say that she feels insecure how I can just leave so easily. That she doesn’t get how my mind can even get there because she isn’t going anywhere. Then it makes me think. Am I wrong here?? Am I doing something wrong?
I run my map. I constantly am revising it and my goals. I work 60-70 hours a week an Hour away from our house. I run a side business. Do bjj. Gym 4 times a week. Still make time for her and my friends. And self work. On top of that I’m constantly doing everything around the house that is hers. And looking for ways to show her comfort and Love. I work 6 days a week. She works 2. All I ask is for a happy supportive partner who helps in places I need it. Some food ready for me when I don’t have time to make it. And good sex. The good thing is we fuck every single day. But a lot of the things she used to do is becoming less and less. And when I bring it up in a non confrontational way. She makes excuses why and gets defensive. This shit is awesome or has been but I’m not sure what the fuck has become of this. I feel I can’t communicate anything. And idk what I’m doing wrong here or if I’m just asking for too much.
If I’m wrong I want to know and I’ll work on it. And if she’s the problem I want to know that too. And then maybe I shouldn’t be with her. Idk who’s at fault and when we argue she makes it seem like I’m being dramatic. And she’s giving me her all. But I see it as I’m just giving everything so much more. 500% in life to her 90%. But maybe I’m delusional.
(It’s been a while since I been on this sub and I have a lot of brushing up to do. I realize but for the time being. I’d like to know your take on it. Maybe I’m just being a faggot and need to suck it up but my happiness is declining bc of all the fighting. When we have good days they’re fucking great.)
Can I get an outsiders perspective on this?