Making Progress, but have questions

HornsOfApathy · 2019-07-22T12:41:55+00:00

You're not "acting alpha". You're not anywhere fucking close. You're a wolf full of covert contracts in sheep's clothing - except this clothing has been bedazzled to highlight your faggotness.

In all seriousness, there is one thing you should know. It's time to start being honest with yourself.

"I don't need sex from you babe, but I do want to have sex with you because I love you"

Fucking barf.

she mentions that she noticed that I've been snappy towards her all week (which I calmly denied

Just stop. Just full stop here dude. She read right though you, you got caught, and DEER'd like a faggot.

You do know she can see right through all your bullshit, right? It's time for you to go heads down, start reading and internalizing the sidebar and LIFT.

Get your shit together man, this post is full of embarrassing puke.

SBIII · 2019-07-22T13:02:42+00:00

You have your head so far up your wife's ass, you can't see what's going on. Concentrate on yourself, read the sidebar, lift and shut the fuck up.

Oh, and this...

I was super dominant in bed

Stop saying "super" - it's super gay.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-07-22T12:41:18+00:00

My wife/she/her count = 68

Sepean · 2019-07-22T13:07:26+00:00

This thing where they go back and forth, that is normal. You're showing more alpha and that gets a reaction. At other times, she still senses your frame isn't there so she shit tests you.

You also have some anger issues. I think you're still struggling with the past and current rejections. Relax, give it time. Read up on stoicism and negative visualizations so you stop giving so many fucks.

You're way too focused on her and her reactions. Focus on you, on your character. This shit is very hard if you're just playing the part. In the end YOU have to change. It's fake it till you make it not just fake it. Your time is much better spent building your frame and internalizing alpha than trying to perfect your interactions and "doing stuff outside the house to show her".

Cam_Winston21 · 2019-07-22T13:08:26+00:00

I stopped 1/3rd in due to boredom because almost every sentence is you over-thinking everything. Dude, if your wife still loves you & is attracted to you, she wants to have sex too, she's been without it for two weeks, as well.

Tell her to take her clothes off while you're unbuckling & give her a quickie, you both need it. For God's sake, stop thinking about every move or word.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-07-22T13:22:04+00:00

For those of you who have a wife on birth control, do you find it more difficult to get her in the mood? I've read a ton of info that although her overall mood with be a bit more level throughout her cycle while on BC, her libido takes a bit of a nose dive, no matter how well you game her.

Nope

Put a piece of tape over your mouth so faggot words cant get out, shit food cant get in, and dicks get blocked.

You talk way to much.

Your anger and hostility is probably residual red pill rage, or butthurt over a covert contract, but it dosent matter becuse NOBODY GIVES A FUCK about your feelings, and the way you Express them isnt attractive, its unattractive, and the opposite of what you want.

Shut the fuck up, lift, sidebar. Put in the work and demonstrate changed behaviour over time.

RoccoPinkman · 2019-07-22T13:27:46+00:00

Does anyone EVER READ ANY of the sidebar material before posting here?

ChokingDownRP · 2019-07-22T18:06:56+00:00

You, my friend are in the anger phase, but you also have one big, nasty covert contact on your hands. "I've been lifting, I'm looking good, I read the sidebar, I track her cycle - she's fertile, she has to want to fuck me now."

Drop 100% of your expectations of her. Just because you think you've improved doesn't mean she sees it, and she certainly doesn't believe your changes are real or permanent!

Your anger stems from her not doing what your covert contact says she should do. The biggest problem is that you're still doing this to get her to fuck you... Not because you have your own mission.

Kill your expectations of her!!! Double down on your self-expectations and you may get somewhere.

stoicstephen · 2019-07-22T12:40:27+00:00

Wife was away on a business trip for 2 weeks (no she didn't cheat/IDGAF if she did, but I know she didn't).

We have a psychic here.

I've been tracking her cycle (even though she is on birth control, were not ready for kids yet) and according to posts I've read on here, I'm supposed to be more alpha during her fertile times.

You have to be alpha 24/7.

You can't be seasonal.

I don't know why I said this, but with an emotionless reaction, I look at her and say in a snappy way, "put some socks on then".

That's not being alpha. That's what a butthurt Rambo beta would say.

An alpha would've said "I have a better idea ...I'm gonna warm your whole body", with a grin on his face.

Read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7vp39q/an_anatomy_of_butthurt_and_the_impact_on_frame/

blah, blah, blah, talking about sex with wife, blah, blah, blah

Stop DEERing, start STFUing.

Why am I so short fused with her now?

You are projecting the anger you have for yourself to your wife.

You are not who you want to be, and you are not where you want to be, so you get angry.

(there's a post that talks about this, I can't find it though)

I go to work, come home and either go to the gym or to MMA, come home for dinner, watch tv, etc. I still feel like I'm too available for her. Anything I can do in a subtle way to spend less time with her to show her I'm busy and don't have time for sexual denials?

Stop watching TV, find a Mission.

Lastly, Does anyone else experience this type of interest switch? She missed me for 2 weeks, came home, had sex and now seems less interested? If so, what I can do to flip the script? Like I mentioned, I'm trying to stay as busy as possible with work and my other things.

She's filling the container you provide.

If you are not a consistent and congruent guy who is his own mental point of origin, and keep acting accordingly with how your wife is feeling or acting in the moment, then your wife will copy you.

She will never be consistent though, no matter how good of an oak you are.

That's her nature, to never sit still, to flow, to dread boredom.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/c2l5dt/your_woman_is_one_of_your_greatest_creations/

BobbyPeru · 2019-07-22T12:46:48+00:00

This post is all about her and her you are trying to please her. Quit giving so many fucks. Quit taking what you read ovulating and being on the rag so literally. When she was reaching out to you all day it was probably because she was ovulating and wanted to start prepping for some sex dumb ass.

You are so deep in her frame. You need to start finding your own frame. Quit trying to figure her out like she’s a puzzle. When you do that you are living in her frame.

Same thing with no flap thing. Don’t take it so literally. I rarely flap – maybe handful of times in a year if that. But, if she’s gonna be gone for two weeks, I would probably rub it out a couple times, otherwise you are seeing what happens. You start to get irritable, and you start to wreak of desperation for sex.

BuddhaGorilla · 2019-07-22T15:37:28+00:00

saw a movie together that evening.

That's your go-to date after two weeks apart? Faggot.

We arrive back home, getting ready for bed, watching a tv show that we started earlier in the week

A TV show after a movie? This is some epic level boring-ass faggotry.

Anything I can read about how to stop DEERing?

Maybe stop watching fucking TV and movies and open a book? Lazy, undeserving, take-it-up-the-ass faggotry.

If you're "getting lost in red pill info" and haven't even read the first few books on the sidebar, you're the kind of boy-child who deserves to get cheated on. Wake the fuck up and get your shit together, or expect several of the guys here to run a train on your wife. They won't give a shit where she is in her cycle.

Bushpilot817 · 2019-07-22T12:17:04+00:00

This is full of covert contracts. You’re trying to be alpha so she’ll have sex with you. Just work on yourself, you’ve got a lot of reading to do. Start with NMMNG.

Edit: and for fuck’s sake stop DEERing.

Bushpilot817 · 2019-07-22T13:15:50+00:00

You’re going to read STFU around here a lot. Every time you start to explain yourself or justify your decision (DEER), STFU instead. When you get to the point that you can AA or pressure flip instinctively, then you’ll find you have to use STFU less and less.

Thorondor_Rising · 2019-07-22T16:53:09+00:00

This post is pure faggotry.

Rogue68486 · 2019-07-22T21:49:33+00:00

This is you

(The waiter who knew too much)

https://youtu.be/_dSQ9FHftSQ

You're over thinking everything to the point of incompetence

IncitingDramah · 2019-07-22T12:36:40+00:00

Why am I so short fused with her now? I don't wake up mad or anything at her

Because you're an emotional faggot.

For those of you who have a wife on birth control, do you find it more difficult to get her in the mood?

No, she smells the desperate beta play-tending to be an alpha, that's why it's more difficult.

Since discovering red pill (at least since I started MMA), I've been focusing on my goals more and making them first priority.

Obviously. Manipulative behavior to squeeze sex from your wife so you're not a frustrated faggot is a great goal to have.

feel like although I'm staying busy, I still spend too much time with her at home. I go to work, come home and either go to the gym or to MMA, come home for dinner, watch tv, etc. I still feel like I'm too available for her. Anything I can do in a subtle way to spend less time with her to show her I'm busy and don't have time for sexual denials?

Lol, seriously? Try ACTUALLY DOING STUFF FOR YOURSELF. Not from a place of punishment for her because you're weak and insecure.

Lastly, Does anyone else experience this type of interest switch? She missed me for 2 weeks, came home, had sex and now seems less interested? If so, what I can do to flip the script? Like I mentioned, I'm trying to stay as busy as possible with work and my other things.

So many fucks given. She she she her her her.

All in all you dont understand shit about TRP/MRP. You didnt post stats, so safe to assume you're fat/unattractive. You're doing things, but developing covert contracts. You havent developed a real IDGAF, you're SO CONSUMED with your wife.

As per usual advice. STFU, LIFT, READ THE FUCKING SIDEBAR.

ReddJive · 2019-07-22T13:26:52+00:00

Frame.

You're in hers. Your entire post is about her

When she got back in betting in your mind she was going to strip and say take me. Odds are she wanted you to do it.

Why the fuck you new guys don't initiate all the time is beyond me. Last time I checked you could be too tired and still get a blow job.

FoxShitNasty83 · 2019-07-22T14:01:35+00:00

Yeah this I get, also it's just anger because things aren't going your way. She isn't reacting how you want. You are acting like a butthurt child. You are analysing her every thought and how you can play the game to get her to fuck you. But it dosent work like that. You need to flip it and work on you, let her chase you. Focus on being a man worthy of being chased.

I find this hard because years of being a pussy cunt girlfriend to my wife isn't something you can unfuck in a day. This shit is hard but it starts clean without anger with you at its core. You don't need her, there is no spoon. Reset and drop the anger because she feelz it and it drys her cunt up.

andyturbo2000 · 2019-07-22T14:03:16+00:00

It was late so it was fine not having sex, but then you wanted to, but didn’t and that’s fine?

That’s the tip of your covert contract iceberg. Then you spent the week hamstering like a girl. Well done OP, well done.

ke3bsf6 · 2019-07-22T14:22:38+00:00

This was tough to read. I almost vomited in my mouth.

no she didn't cheat/IDGAF if she did, but I know she didn't

You care, don't lie. You have some small itch now that she is capable of cheating. It doesn't matter, but YOU care. The rest of your dissertation points to that.

I wanted to do it, but it wasn't a huge deal that we didn't.

For some reason, I was pretty short fused with her the entire day.

I'm going to posit that it WAS a huge deal that you didn't because the next day you were pissed.

cheating on her is not something I would do

Congrats Mr. Moral High Road?

I've read on here, I'm supposed to be more alpha during her fertile times

She wants an alpha during more fertile times - yes. What you write here is not alpha.

I don't know why I said this, but with an emotionless reaction, I look at her and say in a snappy way, "put some socks on then". I remained cold and distant, didn't want to cuddle with her or anything

Ok Mr. Rambo. There's a good section in BPP's book Saving a Low Sex Marriage (highly recommend for you). For hard sexual denials (being legit tired after a long trip isn't one), you EVENTUALLY OVER A LONG TIME (months and months) remove in the following order - this is the basis for dread levels:

Time: Your time, you're busy so it's a gift when you spend it with your wife
Attention: Your around her but you're not paying attention to her "blah blah, Jenny did X today at work" talks
Affection: Cuddling, kissing your wife good-bye, etc
Presence: You're checked out. You give her nothing.

You removed Affection for a non-event! You acted pissy. Now she knows that her denying you sex gets you pissed - she has control over YOUR emotions. That's not a good thing.

Here's two AAs you could have used on the socks thing: Warm her feet up with your dick and/OR tell her you know what can warm her up with obvious sexual overtones.

I feel like I've been getting more easily irritated with her lately.

This is normal. Hell I'm still angry from time to time. It's not a GOOD thing but it's normal. It's because you're EXPECTING something FROM her. This is the dancing monkey. I'm lifting, looking good, passing shit tests -> she should fuck me the way I want. Hell you may not see it in the current moment (this is why I believe a weekly OYS is vital - others have objectivity). Replace fuck with ""getting a babysitter' for me and that was my last week's OYS.

which I calmly denied and said that I paid great attention to her on her trip (facetime) which she agreed to and said yeah I was actually a great husband to her while she was gone (she was on the rag, so from what I've read, I'm supposed to show a bit more beta), I said, Yeah, I'm tired today tho.

Congratulations for Defending, Explaining, Excusing, and Rationalizing at record speed.

I was being an asshole for no reason, so I apologized (yeah I'm sure someone will call me a pussy for that)

Well, were you being an asshole for no reason? Did YOU feel like you did something wrong. Or did you do it to appease HER? Don't get into a habit of apologizing for every little thing, but I don't see anything wrong with apologizing from YOUR frame when merited. I hope you at least kept it short and didn't say "I'm sorry" - that is a pussy. "You're right babe, I was being an asshole" is the only sentence you need.

"I don't need sex from you babe, but I do want to have sex with you because I love you".

Ugh. Wtf is this. "Damn straight I need sex!" wink and grin. Pick her up and fuck her right then.

We've joked before about our hallway neighbor wanting to sleep with me

Congrats again?

For once, I didn't ask her to flip into different positions, I forced her into them.

First thing you did right in this diatribe.

not butt hurt. I'm wondering if it is because I showed her a lot more affection than I did Saturday

Yes you are! How can you not see that you care so much you're posing online for internet strangers?

I get where you are, I've been there. You're analyzing EVERYTHING in terms of alpha, beta, red pill, blue pill. You're trying to get into HER head to figure out what she's thinking. You can't do this. This leads to anger, and anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Yoda had it right - but it'll lead you to your suffering, not hers.

Lift, read more, and please for the love of God STFU.

Here's the golden rule you need to try to follow: when you do something, do not EXPECT anything in return from your wife. When you lift/MMA/pass a shit test, don't expect she'll rip her clothes off and fuck you. When you are nice to her, don't expect her to be nice back, rip her clothes off and fuck you. You do these things because YOU want to. Want to rub her back? Fine - go for it but don't expect her to fuck you in return (covert contract).

screechhater · 2019-07-22T19:48:48+00:00

This is not really a question as much as you have not really absorbed the materials.

It’s almost like you skimmed off what you wanted and missed the part about frame, a mission and perhaps what “you” want.

It’s apparent that you waited for her to get home and then allow you to fuck her, then you initiating because you want to fuck.

See the problem here ? You are not initiating or living your life because you are waiting on her acknowledgment.

What does that get you ?

By the way. Her, she, she, she does not tell us you are at this for you, but her. So she will nod her head and tell you it’s ok to fuck.

Is that what you want ?

throwawaybpdnpd · 2019-07-22T12:26:32+00:00

What I see from this is...

she was acting normally before going on the trip
she’ acting weird after coming back from it
you have done nothing to make this happen

She’s hiding something from you.

If I were you I’d drop the attention on her and work on myself even more, no big conversations or trying to communicate, no affection

Title	Making Progress, but have questions
Author	ke3bsf6
Upvotes	8
Comments	86
Date	22 July 2019 11:43 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/246243
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cgc5ea/making_progress_but_have_questions/