I can't fucking do it.

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July 23, 2019
153 upvotes

I've been following TRP for half a year now. I read the rational male and think I understand the main idea of redpill. But fuck, I can't implement that shit into my life. I'm so fucking beta, and nothing I read will help me change that. I've been in so many perfect situations where I can get out of my comfort zone and be alpha but my beta self won't let me. The only times I'm alpha is when i'm drunk, which is fucked up because I thought it would help me practise. I always tell myself that I'm going to do it but I never go for it. What should I do? How did any of you guys deals with getting out of your comfort zone and actually going for it?


Post Information
Title I can't fucking do it.
Author dompar
Upvotes 153
Comments 86
Date 23 July 2019 02:55 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/246309
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cgmzkc/i_cant_fucking_do_it/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabetathe red pill
Comments

[–]Better-Red_Than-Dead284 points285 points  (7 children) | Copy

Take a deep breath and relax man.

This TRP shit is a lot to swallow, especially early on, you can’t expect to jump right in to banging supermodels every night. Baby steps, get your life on track first before stressing so much about talking to girls. Get your work/school life on track, work up to lifting 4-5x/week, pick up a couple hobbies, build up your social circle, etc. but don’t try and do it all at once

Set a couple goals for each week and make sure you’re crossing off one goal at a time. The rest will come naturally

[–]whoscodex48 points49 points  (3 children) | Copy

thanks i needed this kinda asweell and it is a lot to take in really when you first join trp it really begins with self-improvement and i didnt realize that until i kept tryna chase and get pussy when its the other way around.

[–]nateydanger16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

it doesn't begin with self improvement. It IS self improvement my guy.

[–]whoscodex0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

yeah it is but im saying like ... if you though trp reddit was just about getting bitches in the beginning then you would realize like oh shit " i gotta improve myself in order to get the bitches"

[–]nateydanger2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kinda like going to AA to stop drinking and realizing that it has nothing to do with drinking and everything tovdo with your thinking

[–]liror27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

please listen to this OP and chill. this journey is meant to be fun and exciting.

[–]beginner_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

And depending where you are coming from this will take years.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (3 children) | Copy

Personal improvement in alignment with TRP ideology started happening 6 years ago.

I found TRP ~2 years ago.

It's only now that I feel like I'm really embodying what the TRP is and teaches. The point of me sharing this with you is that this thing isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. And guess what? I still have a million things I need to work on. It's a never-ending process of improving myself. So let me throw this back at you, how long have you being doing this for?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So let me throw this back at you, how long have you being doing this for?

He said in the first line for about 6 months. I'm sure I'll eat downvotes for this, but the sub needs to be realistic: The sidebar can't rescue every beta.

[–]Deathrow220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Never thought about your last sentence. Good point.

Imo if OP for example can‘t let go of his „bluepill“ behavior a „red pilled“ friend could give him the push he needs tho

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If he can find one and is willing, sure.

[–]Pork_Sword331 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro it takes longer than 6 months to internalize even half of the shit here and then even take the jump and start implementing it in your life, just take a step back from the microscope and relax. You’ve taken the first steps by being here, it’s baby steps from here until you’re running. Keep internalizing what you’ve been reading on the sidebar and then start trying your best to implement it in your day to day life. Where ever you fail, try and try again.

You’re expecting to be able to create a nuclear reactor in your bedroom without even knowing how to wire a light switch. It doesn’t come as quickly as you think. Everyone here is different and the rates at which people develop are varying. Go at your own pace.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet32 points33 points  (2 children) | Copy

Let's get you thinking about this.

Why do you think you only behave alpha when you're drunk?

[–]TFWnoLTR17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's far easier to take social risks while drunk. It lowers inhibition and you generally care less what people think about you while under the influence.

I have the same problem as OP. I have become dependant on alcohol to help me nut up into alpha behavior. It's a serious problem that is very difficult to resolve.

Be warned, guys. Depending on booze creates more dependency and eventually addiction. I didn't used to have this problem at all until I recently realized I look for excuses to drink and crave a drink even when I'm by myself sometimes.

[–]jackandjill2210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lack of inhibitions besides a large portion of millennials can only pick up people when they're wasted, this has been shown.

[–]Apfeltee23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should implement the IDGAF mentality. Read The subtle art of not giving a f*ck and try to live it.

What I took from the book: Life is too fucking short to worry about things like approaching women and what other people think of you.

[–]TFWnoLTR6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just piggybacking this to say you need to learn to do this without the help of booze.

[–]topmatrixgun17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

What things are you talking about, brother? What alpha male things are you not able to do? Gaming women or improving yourself?

As per my understanding, Trp is far from just getting laid. It is more about getting your life in order like working hard and earning money, working out to get a better body, getting enough sleep, commanding respect in your day to day life, etc.

Trp is a way of life.

Women will be a by product of the awesome life you are going to build.

[–]CaptainKidd9612 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

To be honest I don't think you're alpha when you're drunk. I think you're that drunk funny beta guy who gets all aggressive and starts acting like a retard, but in his head he's alpha as fuck. I know many people like this, they are quiet and shy but when they get drunk they start acting like they're the shit, when in reality they're lame as fuck.

Stop relying on alcohol and get out there and improve yourself. Stop thinking so much and just get out of your confort zone little by little.

[–]devansh_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude people always have their own concepts and thoughts about what an alpha is, it has everything to do with taking risks, being aggressive and making others fall in line with their ideas and will, and nothing to do with being the best guy respected by everyone (an alpha can be that but that is non-essential, an asshole can be an alpha too.)

What happens when someone challenges an alpha? They get aggressive!! Unless the challenger is a no-one beta and he cannot be bothered, because the challenge isn't damaging to him in any way. Ofcousre alphas can be lame, girls will still instinctively be attracted to them. Obviously other things affect the overall attraction.

[–]CaptainKidd961 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was talking about people who when sober are shy, quiet, they avoid any kind of conflict at all costs, aren't very outgoing and social etc. But when they get drunk they start rambling on and on, tell dumb stories to show how cool they really are. They basically become annoying and cringey, but in their head they look cool as fuck.

I think this is the way OP is and I was just letting him know that he isn't alpha, he's just the weird drunk guy who talks too much.

[–]whoscodex24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

use the 321 method. whenever your getting out of your comfort zone or doing somethin just count down to 1 starting from 3.

this helps me a lot i learned that if you take to long doing something asweell you'll get MORE nervous MORE SCARED and you'll start to overthink and sweat scenarios in your head and THEN your thoughts get to your feelings and you wont do it etc.

when i pussy out i feel like i'm in a box like "fuck dude"

and then i feel like a little bitch sometimes

and it makes me feel like im not getting anywhere in life btw i'm only 16 so i'm tryna grow my balls as big as i can so i can be comfortable approaching females and overall being socially comfortable.

something personally i say to myself on a daily is "fuck it"

just like saying "yolo" but in a more "WHO GIVES A FUCK" vibe.

just "fuck it' bro and put your all into improving yourself or whatever it is your trying to get done.

[–]Trposh49 points50 points  (7 children) | Copy

How often do you masturbate? If more than once a week, then try dialing it back. For me my energy level is night and day difference depending on how recently I’ve masturbated. Right afterward, I’m such a beta fag; if it’s been more than a few days, I have a lot more energy; more than a week, and I’m like the fuckin’ Terminator—I will destroy anything that gets in the way of reaching my goals.

[–]ooshh 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Do you find that sex affects your energy levels, or is it just masturbation?

[–]Trposh12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Both sex and masturbation temporarily reduce my energy levels, but sex affects me differently. I chalk it up to the fact sex is far more gratifying (most of the time anyway), which offsets the energy dip a little bit.

[–]akema948 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Avery Hayden made a video about intermitant fapping as an alternative to nofap. It helps regulate this "terminator" mode

[–]Qba19941 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What if my girl takes care of that? Do I let her jack me off once a week? We are not having sex yet

[–]Trposh7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

As with everything, context matters. I was responding to OP’s question about how to avoid slipping back into his old beta habits and increase his odds of reaching his goals. He posted here presumably because he’s not satisfied with his progress, so I was trying to help him. If a girl is taking care of your needs adding value in your life and that is working for you right now, then I wouldn’t recommend just blindly following the advice from some internet forum. If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it.

[–]ogkushinjapan2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She’s not ur girl bro it’s just ur turn. Read the sidebar. You hv more things to worry abt besides ur ejaculation frequency at this stage

[–]nexther1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If they were spinning multiple plates they wouldn’t even be considering abstaining.

[–]frontiermarine8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You become comfortable when you constantly put yourself in uncomfortable situations, one of the biggest mistakes i made when i discovered the red pill was constantly reading up on theory and not really putting myself out there.

[–]MetbyChance20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just grow some balls.

I understand just how you feel, thats how I felt most of my highschool life until I finally asked the hot chick who liked me out and she said yes, had a good relationship but due to being a beta boyfriend, it ended in 3 months.

Then I found another chick, was really scared to go for it but decided to blurt a half nervious/half good "wanna go out with me quote" and ended up with her.

And then it just kept happening, and with each time, it got a lot easier, the only thing that bothers me now is good timing.

Once you realize your fear is all in your head and rejection really doesn't hurt that much you'll start living life.

It's not about not being afraid, it's about being afraid and still doing it.

[–]skunkbear44417 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude not hating, I LOL "I'm so fucking beta".

I have been completely red pilled for about 10 years now, I got this way before ever reading Heartiste or any forum shit. I was purple pill for another 12 years before that, noticing red pills in front of my face but not having someone confirm for me directly.

You sound like you never even had a purple pill stage out of your own observations.

You are big drama man right now. You will laugh in a few years how feminine this was.

Eat some steaks, take some zinc, nail some ass, shoot some guns. Take some physical risks. And stay cool playa.

A finer point, many red pill guys hate on alcohol and fake courage, oh no it's such a crutch! I think if alcohol helps the traits you want come out use it as a tool especially as a beginner.

Just stop being so dramatic. 6 months isn't what it took to build Rome wigga.

[–]justlibertarian1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think the problem with alcohol is it’s so easy as a social lubricant that you can become like Raj on the Big Bang theory ie. can’t talk to girls without a drink

[–]devansh_-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude just chug some alcohol and see what the world is like when you are a fucking alpha. Once done even when sober you will be less scared to do things that you were scared to do before because now you have seen the consequences are nothing as bad as you imagined, probably even pleasurable, you will be easily taking the risks.

[–]justlibertarian2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Until you miss the huge confidence boost you get with alcohol But I see where you’re coming from

[–]Snowaey4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro don't stress, take baby steps, shit won't click instantly.

[–]whiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

TRP does not make anyone alpha. It makes you mimic alpha behavior and act like you have an abundance of women. In other words you can be a fake alpha like most people here.

[–]MarkBoabaca2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

my beta self won't let me. The only times I'm alpha is when i'm drunk

You answered your own problem right here. You're overthinking, and they only time you're more alpha, as you say, is when your inhibitions are lowered and you're not hyper focusing on what you should or shouldn't do.

Try meditating, exercising, or taking up some activity that redistributes your focus away from how you think you should act. It should come naturally. Don't call yourself a beta. It's just a label, but when you associate yourself with that label you're adding to your own negative mindset.

[–]SerialATA_Killer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find a friend who wants to go on the journey with you, that's how I started out. Possibly a mentor that you know irl if you would rather go that route. It will give you some guidance and help you through the post-rejection loneliness.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read ‘NO MORE MR NICE GUY’ And ‘WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY’ Both if those books will get you doing things because YOU want to do them, that’s the most red pill thing you can do, put YOU and YOUR needs first. Forget the rest for now bro it will come.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

David Goggins made a video the other day about having a dog mentality. Like when I feed my dog, I can sit there and hand him food all day and he’s gonna keep eatin, he’s always hungry. Same goes for us, stay hungry, always want more, want the fight, the hard times, embrace the suck, take responsibility for everything.

[–]perla-madonna1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You simply are an empath and not a narcissist, you cant go against your nature. I've been in trp for 8 years and still doesnt work

[–]magnimeelcul1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are your lifts? Do you train any martial arts?

[–]rnsbrum1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are what you believe. If you think you are incapable, then you will be. Be careful with what you tell yourself, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[–]usegao1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is true. if you think you are a badass, you're right. if you think you are a loser, you're right.

[–]devansh_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Something you can try to be an alpha!! Alphas don't over think before acting. When you start thinking how about something simple, or try to come up with failsafe strategy just stop thinking and go and act out in the simplest way possible, your real personality and awesomeness will shine through, being vulnerable to possible humiliation is the thing that makes an alpha, it shows confidence that a beta just cannot have. I tried it and this works.

Instead of practicing to pretend to be an alpha all while having a weak mindset and no actual social skills and know how (you will just keep planning and never testing yourself, since you will not have any feedback you can analyse you will not improve at all.) What you should do is first become an alpha i.e. don't be afraid to make mistakes, let others laugh at you(they will often do this because they are themselves scared of you or the situation and want to dispell the tension and appear non threatening.) Then try to improve, yet making less mistakes and doing things more smoothly, you can be slick and smart, you can test everything you read about this way, this will require lots of energy and will power, it will help you a lot if you practice NoFap and semen retention.

[–]Rimefang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's like working out. Repetition, routine, repeat.

You won't get results immediately, but persist and you get them eventually.

[–]OilyB1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The most difficult thing in life to do is to establish approximately where on the scale of simp to alpha one is situated. Of course we can move up. Or fall down. From the moment we establish where we are situated, we need to start the acceptance process. Otherwise we'll be unhappy the rest of our life. Accepting that you're not alpha but for instance only halfway up is difficult but not impossible. It takes away a lot of psychological unrest. You can recognize and know that there lesser men. And better men. The universal key to happiness in your relationships is choosing someone who is just a little 'beneath' you in terms of courage, mental abilities, finance, emotional stability, academic achievements etc.

It's the only way she'll be able to look up to you. And that's what they all want.

[–]1PotatoWatt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

bro, if you check my post history, im on the same train as you.

I just want to leave you with a quick points:

1-You are not alone, there are guys who dont go through what you are going through and they never become a true man, and are forever sad. There are guys who went through what you are going through, and there are guys who are still not there. My point is, you are not alone. Its a thing you must handle to grow.

2- It will hurt and hurt and hurt, but listen from me, one day after so much hurting you will start to change mentally, you will start feeling different, more idgaf, and then the results will start popping up. But it will take time.

3- Its going to be hard, you gotta think and think, feel the regret in your veins, feel the hurt, feel the shots you missed, think about the person you are, get stressed, get mad, cry, let it all down, break down. But every time you are doing this, force yourself to think you are not going to get knocked down once and stay down, you are going to get up and fight back, force yourself, it isnt easy, if it was easy there would be no TRP. Just dont sit back and relax. Push yourself. Dont want to go to the gym? Too bad. You gotta. "I dont feel like it" stfu and do it.

Women are the ones who "meh I dont feel like replying" and follow their emotions, guys follow their duty. You should do stuff not because you 'feel like it' or 'im in a good mood', you HAVE to do them. Its your responsibility. If you refuse that responsibility then you are not a man. You are expelled from the tribe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, if you're saying you can't do it, you can't do it. Who am I to convince you otherwise?

[–]redxpills0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Understand the underlying mindset of TRP concept first.

When you understand it enough, you could internalize it soon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

read, think and grow rich

[–]BBRpill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Read, read, read
  2. Think about it
  3. ...
  4. Profit

Relax. You are on a pretty good way, Bro.

[–]whateverbaszod0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am kinda the same as you are

7 months now and things are improving steadily

Except for getting laid because I have noone to go out with to game And daygame is not really possible in eastern-eu

But I just keep doing this, only way I can go is up

[–]ogkushinjapan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

U think ur alpha when drunk but u were probably a bumbling idiot running his mouth arnd town lol. It’s the chemical reactions associated with alcohol.

[–]BatsNightmares0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Relax man. You're not entitled to anything that TRP says you will gain if you follow its steps. It doesn't mean you won't gain it though. Baby steps.

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Careful with expectations. As others have commented and experienced here, these things take a lot more than 6 months.

My suggestion is to meditate on this:

  1. Stop saying things that makes you weak https://youtu.be/IAFO3v_Ucio

  2. Check if you have your microgoals in adequate proportion to their rewards https://youtu.be/OoA4017M7WU

[–]1PotatoWatt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

my man jordan peterson! Listen to his videos, that man is a god.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One step. You just need one step, one approach.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you realize that life is short and the alternative for "going for it" is to let your short number of opportunities and youth slip away forever.

[–]TheStumblingWolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nothing I read will help me change that

This is called a paradigm. It hinders you from moving forward because you've already decided you can't do it.

Pick 1 thing at a time (like eye contact or something), focus on that until you've improved and move on to a new thing.

[–]HectoSexual0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It takes thousands of attempts. Not hundreds.

You are simply underestimating the effort required.

Thousands.

[–]ReddJive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop reliving the mistakes of your past and focus on the moments of today. Replaying a situation over and over again in your head is not a productive way to live.

You're problem is you care too much. About them. Her. About being beta or alpha.

Just stop caring. None of it matters. All that matters is pursuing your life's mission or figuring it all out.

This is a marathon. Not a Sprint.

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is highly relatable. I've been aware of TRP for 5 years and still not a Chad. I'd like to say I 100% don't want to be but I don't need to be to be happy. I need to be more...functional than what I have been.

So. Rather than trying to be 'alpha', what is YOUR ideal self like?

[–]Fabian2520 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would suggest go Monk Mode work on yourself first, stop worrying about going out and being Alpha. Start feeling good about yourself, go to the gym, do a sport learn a new language. I suggest start going to the gym more and learn a martial arts really learn it. When you know you can take down another human being in a fight it gives you a unique type of confidence. Make a map in your mind and slowly gain confidence along the way. I personally learned by trying a 1,000 times and failing a 1,000 times and after it got better and better. I started succeeding and that started giving me confidence. Get a good wingman to help you out. Try tinder and get experience, don't get super drunk. Drink enough to be chill and every time you approach a girl drink a little less until you don't need alcohol at all.

[–]SnowBastardThrowaway0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you lifting regularly?

[–]DadOnDabs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You said it yourself, "nothing I read will....". Quit reading and start acting. Hit the gym, start talking to people (male, female, Apache Helicopter), and try some new hobbies. Being "alpha" is a stupid idea that needs to be buried. Loving yourself and being comfortable with yourself to the point that it starts to bleed onto the people around you is what you should aim for.

As basic as it sounds BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE!

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its a marathon, not a sprint.

Start with The Book of Pook.

[–]woke_wizard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Baby steps man. This shit takes years. Think of it as a never ending journey

[–]Nighthawkdragon80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to go out and hit the field more. that simple.

[–]WhatIsLogicFor5000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

do you even lift?

[–]nidham210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude don't over think it , it's just a theory , in the end do what you love , make mistakes,gain experience, you don't have to live a perfect life.

[–]E9er0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

learn to love rejection like breathing... harder said than done but once accepted the world truly is your oysters... i hesitate from time to time... but building confidence helps A LOT... and if you’re not in shape working out becoming aesthetic will boost your confidence... now don’t be dull make girls laugh and simultaneously have deep conversations and she won’t know what to do with you... she’ll want your attention and other girls will come and try to take you away from other girls... that’s when you know you’ve made it!!!

[–]lugrulo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trp is not about learning to be “alpha”. It’s about following a set of behaviors, and avoiding others. It’s almost robotic - but it takes self awareness and practice. Don’t worry about being “beta” or any of that shit. That’s just an abstract label. Nobody is literally alpha or beta.

[–]kayfab0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It does not happen overnight, i had to work for 4y until it sunk in and i am now 47y old.

Being beta is wasting your life away being weak and frustrated.

[–]alpha_in_progress0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How your sex life ?

[–]kayfab-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't had sex in 25years but its getting there

[–]BurnieSlander-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welp I guess you should just give up then and learn to live with the fact that you refuse to get out of your own way. Good luck with your shit life!

[–]dtyler86-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

“You lost today, kid. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

You must be young. You’ll learn, get tired of bs and burn out; then you’ll likely realize TRP is often approached naturally and it will come naturally. It’s young men that are at an advantage taking TRP before they get so fucked over they just “arrive” at the red pill like I did when I was 26/27.

[–]masterpiece001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not really no, getting fucked by life builds character, not being a book worm that thinks and believes he has learned all of lifes failures and pitfalls before ever walking out of his room.

These are the soyboys.

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So.. I’m a soyboy and think I know life’s pitfalls? I’m lost

[–]Wjourney-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just do it.

[–]1NathanHollister-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

All you have to do is lift bro. It will make you look and feel better. Also, don't simp.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

sleep and eat well and LIFT WEIGHTS - Come back in 90 days for your next assignment



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