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Compliance tests

by GoingOnAJourney | September 05, 2019 | askMRP

27 upvotes

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My wife will sometimes be in the mood where she throws out small bursts of compliance tests in a short amount of time, but the caveat being that I was already about to fucking do exactly what she says.

 

A perfect example is a supermarket trip. Pull in to the pretty full car park, spot a space and drive towards it to park. She pipes up with "Park over there". Unloading the kids, she says "Get the buggy" which I'm obviously going to do. Walk towards the trollies and receive "Get a trolley". Sigh. You see where I'm going with this?

 

Right now I recognise the tests and STFU, but there has to be a better way. Can't say "I'm getting the fucking trolley" as that's butthurt. Can't say "Yes dear" - immediate fail. Could be sarcastic: "no, let's just carry the groceries today", but I want to be playful and this will likely come across as butthurt. Looking for inspiration. How would you handle this?

Update: Loads of great suggestions here, thanks. More importantly I've learned I need to go get my balls back. I'm taking action.


Post Information
Title Compliance tests
Author GoingOnAJourney
Upvotes 27
Comments 92
Date 05 September 2019 08:19 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/252010
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/czxy7u/compliance_tests/
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[–]Iammrp226 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

My mom did the same thing when I was a teenager.

My wife does the same thing now.

If you show butthurt she will capitalize on your weakness. If it needs to be done then stfu and do it. What you need to be learning is how to scan the environment and give her tasks. It's not a race though. Don't try to give her one before she gives you one. And don't make a big deal if she doesn't do it. And don't give her a task if you're sitting on your ass. Be a leader and a good manager.

The reason she is doing that is to give herself comfort. You have to learn how to give her comfort by being a good manager. Good managers not only delegate but they praise when they see good work to reinforce that behavior and to communicate their position as the one who gives praise.

Be a good captain.

[–]MeansToABenz3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have really enjoyed telling my LTR’s (in the past and present) that:

“Good eye” “She’s a keeper” “You’re a smart cookie”

Essentially you are reinforcing to her that what she is doing is good and also passing her comfort tests as she is receiving positive reinforcement.

[–]Iammrp24 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. This is how it's handled. A leader would not feel threatened by his wife's comments and would know she's seeking comfort. So give it to her. Then give her comfort with your dick later that night.

[–]go-RED-go20 points21 points  (16 children) | Copy

My wife sometimes does exactly the same thing. It used to bug me, but now I dont stress about it much.

Sometimes she sees a good parking spot before me and says "Park there.".

I just do amused mastery and "compliment" her something along the lines "wow honey, you really have a good eye for parking spots, I'm glad to have you by my side" , smirk, wink, eyebrows raise.

If she's expectionally active that day with few compliance tests in a row, I would look at her, make a soldier stance/pose and laudly say: "Sir, yes, sir!" and then fucking laugh my ass of at my own joke.

The point is, you really shouldn't care much.

[–]Iammrp25 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Park there.".

I just do amused mastery and "compliment" her something along the lines "wow honey, you really have a good eye for parking spots, I'm glad to have you by my side"

I like this response. Playful yet sets her in her place.

"Sir, yes, sir!"

This still sounds like you're uncomfortable with taking orders. If she points out something that legitimately needs to be done and you didn't see it first then good for her. Praise her for bringing it to your attention. And next time make sure you notice it first.

[–]go-RED-go5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

This particular example is directed at cases when there are continous obvious stuff like : take the trolley and similar shit - when she gives "obvious" orders while having a bitchy attitude simply because she is in a shitty and overly serious mood that day. This is to show her that she's being stuck up - therefore an exaggerated soldier response - while ending with laughter so she could lighten up.

If she points someting that needs to be done and she's right about it, just a short "You're right, I'll take care of it" should suffice. And yes, make a mental note not to forgot it next time.

[–]Iammrp23 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

What if she says "That's right solider! You're my bitch!"

[–]go-RED-go3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

If she did it playfully, that would mean she took the invitation into my playfull frame and started joking around. It would be pretty good response from her, and I may be wrong here, but I don't think most women are clever enough to come up with that kind of response.

On the other hand, If she would say it in a way to shut me down or to dominate me, I dont know man... What would you say?

Honestly if I had a wife that craves that kind of constant competitive outwitting each other and playing power play games and not being willing to turn in into a joke, I would probaly ditch her.

[–]Iammrp22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What if she strapped on a dildo and fucked you in the ass? Playfully of course. Smiling, giggling, while saying "Yeah! /u/go-RED-go is my bitch! Hehe!"

[–]go-RED-go3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hehe you would like that, wouldn't you, you perv? Was that the last porn you jerked off to?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy

Jesus.

All this verbal intercourse.

How is this the top comment. Its just one faggot responding to another.

Why the fuck are all you faggots going grocery shopping with your woman?

How pathetic you must look pushing the cart behind mommy while she holds a crinkled post it note list of 20 things she needs.

Is this the only cardio/exercise you faggots get?

Following mom up and down each isle.

Fuck.

[–]go-RED-go14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're probably right.

Your comment should be top.

It has everything you need in a top askmrp comment: *creativity in inventing imaginary hypothetical scenarios, *calling people out for that imaginary hypothetical scenario, *"faggot" count minimum of 3 per comment *drawing attention on yourself and derailing conversation without contributing.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Guess what?

If your wife is telling you where to park the car.

You are not even driving it.

[–]i-am-the-prize2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

yup.

my wife did this shit "back seat driving from the front passenger seat"

1) i now do the stop, stare, wait and get a 'please' out of her, or just a "sorry, I'll shut up now"

2) sometimes i remind her, looking ahead/not at her: "your tone is one we use to speak to our kids, not eachother" and she will reflect/realize, apologize and we move on.

if i was a disaster at driving/parking/navigating, I'd get it. but wtf, it's like a verbal tick. it's gotten way better in the last 6 months, but occaisionally will slip back in, then stop/stare/wait and demonstrate not verbalize how she's out of line.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

This.

I fucking hate going to the store.

Cucks

[–]IRunYourRiver6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ. Forget about the store for a second. What if you were paying Bill's and your wife said "Be sure to pay the mortgage too" or you are cleaning up the living room and she goes "Make sure you fold up the afghans". Like, no shit. That's the point. It's a weird and insidious compliance test.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wouldn’t know I handle all finances in my house.

[–]IRunYourRiver4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, don't forget about the mortgage. If you pay it after the 15th there's an additional fee.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando12 points13 points  (17 children) | Copy

There's a section in one of Athol Kay's books about how to deal with compliance tests - you should read it. A compliance test is her testing you to see if you will comply.. if you comply, you fail, if you don't you pass.

What it comes down to is that she will treat you the way you allow her to treat you. If she's barking orders at you and you let her, she's going to keep barking orders at you.. especially if - as you are doing - you do exactly as she orders.

If you keep following orders like a little lapdog, she'll keep treating you like one. You need to man up and learn how to say "no".

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 9 points10 points  (15 children) | Copy

I get that, but the issue is I'm already doing xyz and need to do it: Park the car, get the trolley. I can't say no when she pipes up as I'm just about to do whatever it is. I can't not park the car. I can't not get the trolley.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Tell her to get the trolley while you're busy getting the kids out.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What the fuck is so complicated about getting kids out of the car?

Can someone explain to me how this is even a thing?

If its a baby then its dumb ass is in a carrier. It takes 2 seconds to unsnap the base and carry it.

If it is in a booster it takes 2 seconds to unhook the belt.

If they are over 4 they should be buckling and unbuckling themselves.

How is this trivial task even a thing that requires a party to be explicitly designated its execution?

What kind of micro-fucking-management is this?

No wonder your women are fucking basket cases.

Fuck.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't expect your woman to take the kids out of the car when she's already got her hands full carrying your balls around with her.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

/thread

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My four year old gets out by himself, but my 2 year old is in a car seat my Mrs seems unable to operate. Either way, if my wife tells me to go get the trolley, quite frankly she can go and do that while I get my youngest out of his seat.

Mostly, just a way of being too busy to follow her orders.

[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

" I can't not get the trolley. "

actually, you can. you can say: I think you got this, and go elsewhere, or stay in car, or whatever the F you want to do my man.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I can't not park the car. I can't not get the trolley.

Why not?

[–]Iammrp29 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

That would be clearly butthurt and she's going to rightly call out your faggot ass.

Imagine your teenage daughter sitting in the back seat. As you go to pull in a parking spot she blurts our "park here daddy!" How do you react. How do you feel? I would continue to park and say "thank you sweety. Don't know what I would do without you."

In these examples OP is clearly butthurt. Avoiding parking where you were going to park is acting like a rebellious teenager. "No mommy! I park where I want!" While proceeding to not park where you wanted lol.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Following on from the smiling stare suggestion, I can pause, smile & stare, then park the car. Better than just STFU.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You can do whatever you want to do. That's my whole point.

Or, you can be a good lapdog and keep doing what she tells you to do if that's what you want to do.

The question is - what do you want to do?

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

To answer that I need to ask: what do I want? I want to untrain this shitty repetitive compliance testing behavior.

What do I want to do to achieve that? Smile and stare every time until she gets the message.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I want to untrain this shitty repetitive compliance testing behavior.

A dog trainer trains a dog to perform little tricks. One day, the dog decides that he no longer wants to perform these tricks. In fact, he not only no longer wants to perform tricks, he wants to become the trainer and have the trainer do tricks for him.

How does the dog do that?

How does a dog turn a trainer into a trained dog?

[–]FoxShitNasty832 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

A lead and comfortable harness are a good start. Also sausage!

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You and your sausages.

[–]NMMNG_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not much you can say IMO. This happens often with SAHMs.

Last time that happened I A&A'd:

*As I'm pulling into the parking spot*

Her: Park here.

Me: STFU

*I get out of the car to get the little man out of his buster seat behind me*

Her: Can you get him? (as I am literally unbuckling his seat belt)

*I look at her, grin on my face as I point the alarm fob at her pretending to press buttons* "How do I turn off the play-by-play on this show???" and start laughing while looking at her and getting my kids in the joke and they start laughing also

Her: *rolls eyes and says to the kids* "Your silly dad..."

Everyone's mood improved instantly.

[–]red-iron-man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. Fucking this. Anyone telling you to STFU when it comes to compliance test or telling you to treat it as a comfort test is a puss. She will think you do this out in the real world.

[–]teabagabeartrap6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Had those situations with my LTR a few years back.

What worked pretty good imho was to just stop everything look/stare at her smiling and say nothing.

Because I smiled, I think she got the "i'm no robot, I don't need anything dictated" . message I wanted to give her.

The other thing I did in the past was to overdo/exaggerate (is this the right word? sorry non english person) in petting her like a dog. Streaking her hair. Saying something like "good boy". It was always important to smile while doing this as well. Laughing off whatever she does afterwards and maybe go for a hug and a forced kiss, so she needs to smile as well but knows whats up.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Smiling stare - this is good. I imagine it would stop the chain of compliance tests in its tracks. Thanks.

[–]red88lobster4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife used to do this a lot , What I did was I'd laugh and say;

please stop narrating my life.

The important thing is to laugh and show how it amused you not upset you.

Also you can do it to her. This is a good way for her to see just how annoying it can be.

Wait until she's about to open a door and ask her to please open the door etc.

Gradually she has stopped doing it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

Hey fuck face. Try this.

Send the fat cunt to the store by herself.

Take the kids to the park while she shops with her dry vagina.

Have a dog? Take it with you. Bonus points.

Go flirt with other depressed women at the park.

Build a fucking life outside her asshole.

Faggot.

[–]RStonePT2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I can vouch for this advice.

esp. the dog. Many a good hate fuck came from my girl having a snit, running off to do the thing on her own, and coming back to me at the dog park chatting up a local.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fatty rarely takes the dog on a walk. When she comes with she mate guards like fuck. The women I usually chat with stop and talk with me... just chatting ;)

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well fuck, what does anyone expect? We gives guys the tools to be more attractive, charming, charismatic and social...

Do you think we go back to watching fantasy football afterwards?

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Do you think we go back to watching fantasy football afterwards?

I'm more of a magic the gathering man myself.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't touched that since high school, i was trying to relate to the normies with sportsball references

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is so much Canadian in this one sentence....

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

You need to learn the STFU stare.

Look - AWALT. But the tone in which she delivers these makes all the difference. She sounds bitchy. And doesnt respect you.

When my wife does this shit occassionally I just quietly turn my head to her slowly, cock my head to the side slightly and stare at her.

Her face and body softens and she says, "please?"

I smile. We carry on. There will be respect in my home.

[–]ShortGame642 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I started doing this a couple weeks ago and it works like a charm.

I STFU, smrik and stare, and she realizes she's just Robo-talking talking into the void.

She gets really embarrassed and I help her rephrase.

(Not sure about the prevailing opinion on rephrases, only that they follow a STFU that brings her defenses down)

[–]Cam_Winston21[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

When my wife does this shit occassionally I just quietly turn my head to her slowly, cock my head to the side slightly and stare at her.

Works like a charm.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stone cold.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The tone of these tests aren't so much shitty as just impulsive. Once she starts they just keep rolling off the tongue, but without a sharp edge.

Thanks for the advice. There was a similar reply earlier, and this will be my way forward.

[–]IRunYourRiver5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the #1 shit test I get from my wife. They've calmed down a lot in the past few months. I can't tell you precisely how I passed them (and therefore how you should pass them). But just think for a second how childish and desperate a move it is on her part. It's actually funny enough for sitcom material. I think that's the mental space you need to operate in.

She doesn't trust you to lead just yet but she knows the power dynamic is shifting. As you were, captain. Keep paying out the 1000 ft rope. It's your world. There are larger things to worry about than parking spots and strollers.

[–]helaughsinhidden5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife is like this a lot, especially back seat driving.

Can't say "Yes dear"

I beg to differ. It must be done with sarcasm. You could also change it up and give a "Heil Hitler!" and do the Nazi salute. It's a ancient form of Agree and Amplify that has been passed down from our fathers and grandfathers. I personally like to act "as if" I was actually as dumb as her comment suggests.

Parking spot: "Where?" "I'm sorry, which spot? *she points* Sorry, I don't see it, where again?" as I just pull in anyway and say "well I couldn't find the one you saw, this will have to do".

Get a trolley: I think it would be fun to act as if you've never heard the word "trolley" in your life. Just squarely look her dead in the eyes and repeat the word in question form "T....TRO....TRO-LEEEE?" See how long it takes her to realize you are kidding around.

no, let's just carry the groceries today

Not bad ***IF*** you say it with absolutely ZERO butt hurt. If you are salty at all, then you're the bitch inside her frame.

[–]romeomikewhiskey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A couple of weeks before my oldest son's third birthday, he announced "When I turn three, I'll be the boss!" And sure enough, the day he turned three, he started doing exactly what you describe. I'm reaching for the light switch - "Daddy, turn off the light!" And so on. It was hilarious and we treated it as such. I suggest you take a similar approach, but only if you can actually find it amusing. If not, then it's safer to STFU/ignore it.

She's literally acting like my three year old did. It's an awkward attempt at asserting dominance. Don't be threatened by it. She noticed the captain has finally staggered out of his cabin and is on the bridge. I think it's a sign that you're doing things right.

[–]abratoki8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

My partner does something similar as well from time to time.

Like im just about to open the drawer to get the garbage bag - and as Im reaching at it she yelps - Honey please take out the trash!

When I get home and sit down to take my shoes off - Get your shoes off before you come into the living room!

Very similar small shit like this.

I find this incredibly annoying as well because I feel like she is trying to assert dominance over these little things to feel powerful.

I dont think non-compliance is the way to go here because that just make me look like an angsty teenager as in: i was going to do the thing you just said I need to do, but now that you said it i aint!

What I have found to work for me in these situations is to (dis)-agree and amplify but in a pedal to the metal idiotic type of fashion?

  • You want me to take out the trash?
  • No, I am going to dump the whole thing in our bed and use the sheets as the new garbage bin

Then proceed to take out the garbage anyway.

  • You want me to park there?
  • No, I will park 10 miles further because you could use the excercise on that fine booty of yours.

Then proceed to park where the fuck you want to park the damn car.

  • Get the trolley for groceries!
  • No, today we will get into the grocery store walking on our hands and will carry all groceries hanging on our feet.

The point is to disagree - but in an overly stupid way. This seems to diffuse the power dynamic created by barking the orders as you make them seem silly and stupid. ( stupid questions get stupid answers kinda?)

Just make sure that it is funny rather then hurtful so you make the kids laugh and make her laugh.

Then proceed to fuck her laughing face later that night.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

(dis) Agree and Amplify. Nice. I'll give this a try next time and aim it at the kids to get the tone right.

[–]Iammrp2-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds butthurt to me.

[–]abratoki4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

When I actually say it - (mind you my first language is not english) it comes off more as funny/ little ridiculing.

Usually at that point she realizes that she is being a bitch/stupid and she either stops compliance alltogether or comes back with agree & amplify that goes even more over the top and we both laugh it off.

I hope that makes sense or helps to clarify. :)

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I sometimes do... this space is tooooo big (grinning)

This space is tooooo small (laughing)

But this space is just right, not to lose or tight.

[–]primordialawe3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus fucking Christ. Looking at the responses from all the experts in this thread... it’s no wonder you unfun grumpy fucks aren’t getting your dicks wet.

[–]RicoDunne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I go through this occasionally. If I don't comply, I get the "you just don't want to do anything I want to do" BS. Basically I just STFU and do what I want to do. Don't fall into her frame by arguing with her over what you want to do - Just do it.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imagine not getting the buggy or the trolley. (I'm not sure what a trolley is.) But imagine a world where you just don't get it. You get out of the car, grab a kid or two, and head to the door. Does that world bother you?

If grocery shopping isn't something you enjoy doing, then imagine a world where you don't go. Do you feel uncomfortable there?

Do you feel comfortable in a world where you head a direction and people follow? Or do you need them to follow in some certain fashion? Because right now, it sounds like you feel like you need to grocery shop or get buggies in a certain fashion so that you're allowed to go on the regular shopping trip.

Personally ... I see no reason at all for both parents to be on the regular shopping trip. Waste of time, man. Either send her and enjoy some time with the kids. Or go shopping and enjoy the time roaming around the store getting the trip done (if you can).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just tell her "Shut up slut". She will at times correct me "Not A slut daddy, your slut."

[–]freekshow882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My go to is to hunch over, limp along dragging one foot behind me, and give her my best Igor impression.

“Yessss misstresss, whatever you say misstresss, anything to please you misstressss”!!!

The accent is important. It’s a high pitched, nasally kind of whining.

The ol lady used to ask me to get her water when ever I went to the kitchen. The 1st time, she said I was an ass while laughing pretty hard. After a couple more, she stopped asking.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

To be treated like a King, you need to act like a King.

Stop going to the grocery with your wife faggot.

Automatically puts you into the beta dad frame.. especially with the kids. It’s hard to game and fuck with her.. she’ll beat you into submission. It’s all in her frame - she is leading the way. Providing for the family. All you are doing is pushing the cart.

Not really tests, she’s just used to you not taking charge of shit- so she feelz the need to boss you around.

Next time, tell her some items that you want her to get when she’s there. Make her a list beforehand - take ownership of the shit YOU need around the house. During the week, ask her to add shit to the list - you want her to work towards completing your compliance tests.

Fuck with her about when will she ever go to the grocery or what’s taking so long (you ran out is those protein bars you like, etc) - cheesy grin and ass slap. Always be on the attack. Never a supplciating beta playing the weak French defense.

I was once one of those beta dads walking behind my wife at he grocery getting bossed around and shamed for not knowing where to find shit. It’s bullshit. Stay home and workout instead. Give her some cash and tell her you'll be there to unload when she gets back.

Would Chad be told where to park the car?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would Chad be told where to park the car?

Typically it is "Not right in front of the house."

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

How hard is it to say "No"? it's one syllabus

Go on and then say "you got legs right?"

Try it sometimes.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If I'm leading, I'm going to park the car. I'm going to unload the kids. I'm going to get the trolley. I'm already in motion before the compliance test arrives. I want to be clear: are you recommending stopping the action I've decided from my frame just to make a point?

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I'm leading

Remove the "if" from that sentence and you've solved the problem.

[–]mountainbiker1781 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think there are some good suggestions in this thread already. I wanted to chime in with my experience and you can do with it what you will.

My ex wife started doing that shit a year or two before I divorced her for cheating on me. I was totally betabux at that point and drunk on the bluepill. I was trying to negotiate desire and used covert contacts constantly. I HATED when she would do what you're describing. I failed all of her compliance tests and would bitch when she barked orders for things I was already in the process of doing.

I'm telling you this because I have to wonder if you're seeing these compliance tests as a sign that you're not as much of a Captain as you think you are. I saw more and more shit like this the worse (BP/Beta) I got.

So in addition to taking the other advice here, I think you should check that your First Mate (wife) hasn't already grabbed the helm from you.

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

My FO has had the helm for a long time. I'm in the process of unfucking myself.

[–]mountainbiker1782 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's why I replied, I suspected things weren't going well for you. Are you posting in the OYS threads? There's so much great info in the MRP sidebar. Have you read all of it? Are you using dread?

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, posting in OYS. Read quite a few books from the sidebar. About to start DL3.

[–]coinbaserep1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Anytime my wife tries to drive from the passenger seat , “turn here” “change lanes” “move over and let this guy pass you”

I turn to her and say “ would you like me to pull over so you can drive”

Or “if you wanted to drive you should switch places with me “

This usually shuts her up

Or if this is really a problem for you than just fucking tell her and stop trying to game her or other funny techniques

Your the captain

Tell her “ I’m capable of taking my family to the grocery store knock it off with all your orders, now go get that buggy”

But you won’t because your afraid of what mommy will say

[–]GoingOnAJourney[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The driving I've sorted. I have a standard reply of 'I'm doing the driving' which I say automatically any time I get called out. It's actually become a little joke now. Was saying it from a stern somewhat butthurt point of view at first, but said it so often its natural to say it with a smile now. Once is enough to stem the tide. But that's just for driving.

[–]red-iron-man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't believe all the cucks. And I can't believe guys are taking orders from their wive's like this. What would you do if a guy or lady at the office kept barking orders at you to do things you were going to do anyway? Would you STFU? Would you smile and do nothing? No, you'd tell them what they are doing is not ok because it isn't respectful and then leave it at that. If you don't allow people outside of the house to treat you like this, why would you allow your wife to do that? This is what she's thinking when she orders you and you sit there and STFU. That you take it up the ass the same way outside of the home as you do with her.

I get STFU has it's place, but do you STFU at the workplace because you're worried you're going to appear butthurt? Be a man, be assertive and don't give a shit what she thinks when you're direct and short in dealing with her.

[–]Captain_pants40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just tell her that if she keeps opening her mouth you’re going to fill it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great opportunity to poke fun at her and make her realize how ridiculous she is being if you do it right.

After you get the buggy/trolley and get back to her you could say something "Weirdest fucking thing, everytime im doing something I hear this voice telling me what to do.. its like i have a weird narrator"

And when she says something again you could be all "SHIT, there it is again" - 3rd time you could start scrolling through your phone trying to find the setting to turn off this stupid narrator... "I dont even know how i enabled this thing"

If you are never funny this strategy wont work.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife does this all the time.

I've turned into a game to make her recognize what she's doing... I now act like I have no idea what she's talking about every time... the whole process gets stalled.. "There's a spot, park there" .. as i'm pulling up to it.... "What spot?" "Where?" "We can get closer than this garbage spot" --- as we park in it... "Well glad I found this spot" This usually results in a funny parade of eye rolling and sighs.

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

STFU and complying to what she says after she commands you to do something is definitely not the right answer. You are basically obeying her like a good little boy.

First, giving you a command without asking nicely (with a "please" or in the form of a request such as "can you" ) shows a lack of respect for you. She sees herself as your mom similar to how a parent gives orders to a child. As a red pill man, that shit isn't acceptable and needs to be addressed with her. You have to change that perception to you are the captain not her. She doesn't view you as the captain if she orders you around.

Second, I like to say "no" often if it is clearly a compliance test. Saying no and not doing what she asks gets the point across. My LTR recently told me that I always tell her no. Definitely, only if she's a good girl she gets what she wants.

As someone mentioned, Athol Kay in MMSLP had a good section on this. If it is something she physically cannot do and needs your help, do it if she asked you nicely and isn't being a cunt towards you at the time. If she has been a bitch to you, say no and don't do it. If she's asking you to do a favor for her like getting a glass of water, consider doing it if she asked nicely and just sucked your dick or something.

Reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. Also, ask her to do stuff for you to make it fair. The more she does for you, the more you could agree to do things for her and vice versa.

This has worked for me.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your car needs this app:

A new app lets your spouse control the car with voice commands from the passenger seat.

Whenever your spouse says things like, "Why don't you take Fifth, it's a lot faster?" or "This way's a lot slower than my way," the car will instantly respond to their commands.

"There was a ton of demand for this app," said Backseat Driver CEO Matthew Kyle. "Spouses everywhere love making passive-aggressive suggestions the entire time their husband or wife is driving around town. But despite their constant comments on your driving, the car doesn't respond to their helpful suggestions and advice. Well, no longer. Now their comments are just as effective as if they themselves were in the driver seat."

Specific voice commands programmed into the app include the following:

"You're driving too fast" - immediately makes the car slow to a crawl

"You're driving too slow" - causes the car to go as fast as physically possible

"Take this other street, it's a shortcut only I know about" - makes the car take their strange route that's almost definitely not any faster

"Everyone knows parking's a lot better around back" - makes the car skip all the perfectly good parking and drive around to their secret parking

"MERGE, HONEY! MERGE!" - merges even if that means you slam into a semi truck

In early beta testing, the app received rave reviews from spouses in the passenger seat and horrid reviews from spouses in the driver seat.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good question right here. I had a LTR that did this relentlessly. At first I would act butt hurt and declare my independence from her attempt at authoritarian dominance. Then I realized these compliance tests were her way of feeling more secure (because I wasn't leading with strength) and, further more, she developed this habit because most dudes are lazy and would rather have the woman take care of shit (classic role reversal). She probably grew up around this type of dynamic with her parents.

Anyway, I started fogging by making jokes comparing her to famous dictators of history (Il Duce, Der Fuerher, Napoleon, etc). As long as you do it in a light-hearted way, she thinks it's funny and gets the message... usually. My LTR never quite stopped this shit so, it got old and we broke up.

[–]additionalpie40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Turn these into something sexual. You are a sexual being correct? You want to have sex with this particular woman correct? These compliance tests will either stop because she doesn't want to have sex with you or you will get more sex.

"Park over there" = “I will park wherever I want…. Wherever”. Insinuate that you will park your dick in her later, wherever you want. Heck, just park in the middle of the lot for a second, give here I am going F-you eyes (if you have them). Then you do you, park in whatever spot you want.

"Get the buggy" = “I am going to slap that buggies ass then come back and slap yours”. While at it have fun with it, be a cowboy shouting YA!!! YA!!! Just be prepared to do that cowboy bit later at home too.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.00 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

AM the fuck out of that.

"Get a trolley" - Fuck no, Imma make you carry this shit and earn your keep. Wink and slap ass.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So what’s the fucking question ?

If you can’t follow, you can’t fucking lead

OI. Frame ? Lifting ?

[–]elrojozul-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the sarcastic answer fine, though it depends on the delivery. Big difference between saying it with eye contact and a smirk or spitting it out between clenched teeth.

STFU also your friend here. You're under no obligation to respond to stupid things your wife (or anyone else) says.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be a sarcastic cunt back to her. She'll get the message

[–]beholdthemaverick-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does it really have to be this complicated with all these mental gymnastics all to give the impression of “I’m not butthurt see!?”. As if you’re jumping thru all these hoops in fear of being judged a certain way. She already thinks you’re a fuck, right? What’s stopping you from nuking this shit out of the park and matter of factly saying “I don’t take orders” with a warm smile?

If you know you’re not butthurt and it’s congruent with your frame, it doesn’t have to be an either/or thing. You don’t need some extreme witty line for these situations. Keep it light. It’s only butthurt if you actually feel butthurt. You can shut it down because you don’t like being spoken to that way, and when she inevitably bitches/shit tests after, you make fun of her cause you’re not scared of mommy’s mean emotions.

Show her with your nonreactivity that this doesn’t have to be a huge serious thing, you just don’t take orders. Alpha doesn’t rub off that way (fake it till you make it if you don’t genuinely feel this way).

Remember the 16 commandments. What would jerkboy do? Teach her that when she is a bitch, she gets the jerkboy who throws proverbial sand in her face like the days in the sandbox in school. When she’s nice and feminine, she gets the warm stuff. Again, as a wise philosopher once said, she already thinks you’re a fuck, own it. No need to manage her perception of your level of butthurt. If you don’t feel it, and you keep it light, you’re good to go. Play with her.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, this is an oldie but a goodie. We haven't had this question in quite some time. You should search this sub to find many many many answers. Then, bookmark this thread, and after you've DONE THE FUCKING WORK you can come back here and kick your own ass. It'll be fun.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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