Q4M: How would you feel if a girl that you’re romantically interested in, is using you just for sex?

reluctantly_red · 2019-06-17T18:01:07+00:00

I would be like "omg free pussy and i didnt have to commit at all, i should buy a lotto ticket"

I would also look on the ground for $100 bills that people left just lying around in the street since its apparently that kind of day

I would also continuously wear whatever underwear i was wearing that day because it was now officially my lucky one. I would super duper wear it when meeting new women and hope they, too, want nothing to do with me outside of sex

Tealllane · 2019-06-18T07:45:21+00:00

This was basically my entire dating experience until my current S/O.

When I felt love or that an overall healthy relationship was possible...just to be shut down, it hurt.

Some of the comments I've read on this said they'd think it's great, or they'd use them back. Sure..sometime you do that, other times you just feel alone and like nothing more than a play thing for others to be used.

It didn't lead into my drug and alcohol abuse problems, but it definitely didn't help. I never felt like a "successful male" or anything like that, and I looked at people in relationships with envy. For a very long period of time I'd think about suicide while having sex with this women. The suicidal thoughts during sex lasted for years.

decoy88 · 2019-06-18T01:22:47+00:00

Been there. Didn’t feel great at first. But gradually moved on while still enjoying the great sex.

Me moving on didn’t sit well with her

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-06-17T17:40:36+00:00

Hurt me as much as anything else that I invest in that does not return what I wanted. But I wouldn’t feel like my body has been “used.” That’s mostly a woman thing in my opinion.

Men often feel “used,” but typically for their resources, not for their bodies.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-06-17T18:01:46+00:00

Nice

TheJim66 · 2019-06-17T18:03:05+00:00

Not the ideal scenario but good enough .I would make a toast for it.

[deleted] · 2019-06-17T18:10:01+00:00

I'd stop thinking about her romantically and just use her for sex

reluctantly_red · 2019-06-17T20:05:29+00:00

You hook up with her but then she kicks you out after it’s over.

Next time have her over to your place so you don't have to get out of bed to drive home after (she can leave if she feels like it).

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-06-17T20:15:06+00:00

Probably butt hurt, possibly for real fee fees butt hurt. But I would realize in the grand scheme of things that I have had worse problems. It could always get worse, let it go.

JustAnotherDude1990 · 2019-06-17T20:31:40+00:00

I'd still be ok with it.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-06-17T20:39:37+00:00

If she led me on, then that would be fucked up, yes. If there was no explicit agreement for anything beforehand, but I wanted or expected something to come out of it, then I fucked up. If I knew it was just sex beforehand, then there wouldn't be a problem.

Bntt89 · 2019-06-17T22:32:42+00:00

I mean it would but I wouldn't be hurt enough to stop having sex. But I think so, but i think i would get over it.

theambivalentrooster · 2019-06-17T22:54:25+00:00

yes of course what kind of dumb question is this

no one wants to be rejected

if you both just want no strings attached fucking then whatever, but if you catch feels and she's like 'lol nope' of course that's gonna sting.

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2019-06-18T06:42:37+00:00

This would never happen to me, but no that wouldn't hurt me at all. Fuck-zoning is a concept I have no sympathy for. It's an awesome place to be.

blackedoutfast · 2019-06-17T21:47:20+00:00

if that's the worst problem in a man's life he should be thankful

thewearisomeMachine · 2019-06-17T18:12:37+00:00

I would feel immensely flattered, and it would be a huge boost to my self-esteem.

[deleted] · 2019-06-17T18:30:17+00:00

Q4M: How would you feel if a girl that you’re romantically interested in, is using you just for sex?

"Nice a friend with benefits, not much of a romantic partner anyway, too slutty".

I already passed by it. This cannot hurt men that much as our romantic interest is mutable but our sex drive isn't.

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Christian_Kong · 2019-06-17T22:16:29+00:00

I'm not sure how I could end up in this situation since if I wanted to be in a relationship they would probably have connected with me on some level beforehand. Either way in this odd situation I would be a bit disappointed but would gladly take the free sex/hook ups being offered.

the_calibre_cat · 2019-06-18T00:30:47+00:00

I'd still feel pretty thrilled about the sex, but super bummed that I'm not what she wants, and if she was leading me on (i.e. was not straightforward about that with me from the beginning) I'd be angry. May/may not continue the sex, it depends.

[deleted] · 2019-06-18T08:33:17+00:00

This would not hurt me.

If anything I'm glad I found out the truth. By then it's time to break it off and say goodbye.

I mean, who and what did I lose? I wanted something she couldn't give, therefore I didn't really lose anything by cutting her off.

TheRabbitTunnel · 2019-06-18T09:35:12+00:00

Itd be a hell of a lot better than her saying "sorry, I see you as a friend and nothing more."

Are you looking for sympathy for the fact that women get "fuck buddy zoned"? It seems like thats what this post is about.

Being friendzoned is way worse.

The_Lone_Apple · 2019-06-18T09:51:43+00:00

This has happened. She had been a friend as well as someone I was romantically interested in. It felt lousy. I discontinued contact with her.

[deleted] · 2019-06-18T12:00:13+00:00

I would just feel awkward and plan to live with until I find a girl who actually wants a relationship.

goodskinishappiness · 2019-06-18T17:27:37+00:00

Best of both worlds.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-06-18T20:35:34+00:00

It would hurt me a bit, yes.

cxj · 2019-06-19T00:43:05+00:00

Happened to me before, really hurt my feelings tbh, at least I got to fuck the girl I liked tho. 🤷‍♀️

Lonny_zone · 2019-06-19T02:46:51+00:00

It would only hurt when she stops wanting to have the sex.

dicklord_airplane · 2019-06-19T15:40:06+00:00

What you described is called rejection. And yes, i've been rejected the exact same way and it hurt a lot. I should not have gotten attached to women who clearly didn't want a relationship with me. It was my own fault because i didn't have the courage to say that i wanted a relationship. "Maybe if we kept having sex and never talk about my feelings she would eventually see me differently..." LOL.

If you want to avoid this situation, my advice is to either:

A) Don't have casual sex until you've talked about your intentions and feelings. If you want a committed relationship, then you should say that to your partners before you have sex. You should make sure that you're on the same page before you fuck. If a guy balks at the notion of a relationship, then don't fuck him.

B) have casual sex, but always remember that sex is no guarantee of a relationship, or anything else. Its not even a guarantee of an orgasm. Casual sex is just sex, and you should never have sex under the assumption that it will lead to anything.

I think option B doesn't work for most people because we get attached through sex so quickly. Sensitive people need to actively protect themselves from getting attached to the wrong people who don't reciprocate their feelings.

TrueReligionGenes · 2019-06-19T15:58:04+00:00

Fine by me lmao

Jaeger__85 · 2019-06-17T18:44:50+00:00

Doesn't matter had sex.

The_gray_ghost · 2019-06-17T17:51:43+00:00

Well if it’s a long term relationship I really want with a women I love than anything other than that is something I couldn’t be happy with. It would be a waste of time and end up hurting me in the long run. You know, aside from the short term pleasures of sex. Having a stable real relationship is heads and tails above the simple pleasures of casual sex. Not all men are interested in sleeping around

Shadow_Of_ · 2019-06-18T01:22:37+00:00

Don't care

rus9384 · 2019-06-17T18:39:34+00:00

The premise is flawed. Oneitis is a lie.

MrHerbSherman · 2019-06-17T18:07:08+00:00

It was like this with one of the girls that I saw back in the wild days. I don’t think the circumstances were right for a relationship but I really did like her. We did “datey” kind of stuff together like actually hanging out not to bang but she kept a pretty good tab on not getting too too close, not staying overnight too much etc. she was keeping that pace a lot more than i was.

Still I look back on that time fondly, we had some good times together, and no real adversity or strife ever between us. If she called me up again either to shoot the shit or to bang, and I wasn’t otherwise committed, sure why not

no1forever · 2019-06-17T18:34:08+00:00

depends on how bad the guy needs the sex and romantic partner. he could probably be happy with the sex if he didnt have to think about how easy it is for you to move on to the next guy while leaving him without any heroin or only heroin.

barbodelli · 2019-06-17T18:47:40+00:00

Depends on how much I like the girl. There are many women where that would actually be a blessing. If this is someone you actually want to have a relationship with. I wouldn't necessarily hate the arrangement as much as a woman would, but I would still want more.

I think a man could be hurt by such an arrangement if he is deceived. Even if the deception is for you two to do something you inherently enjoy.

exit_sandman · 2019-06-17T18:49:54+00:00

Not awesome, but still better than being friendzoned.

darudeboysandstorm · 2019-06-17T19:18:45+00:00

In the words of Aubrey, just need to know what that pussy like so one time is fine with me.

brander20 · 2019-06-17T21:44:02+00:00

Depends on how good the sex is. And if she's not submissive at all, I'd get bored quick and move on unless she was interesting or fun and wanted a friendship.

TopOccasion29 · 2019-06-17T23:38:39+00:00

If i really cared for her then yeah i would be disappointed. BUT it will never happen because i don't push for a relationship even if i have strong feelings for her. I always wait for her to push for my commitment or even say "i love you". I think if a woman doesn't push for it herself then she isn't interested romantically or doesn't want to ruin the current sexual relationship. Either way i get sex though, so it's not so bad lol.

zerg_khan · 2019-06-18T13:24:07+00:00

Would hurt just slightly, but proceed to plan B immediately - a hot eager female ready for a FWB relationship? Go go go.

There's plenty of fish to choose from for real LTR.

Title	Q4M: How would you feel if a girl that you’re romantically interested in, is using you just for sex?
Author	throwaway32242
Upvotes	7
Comments	67
Date	June 17, 2019 1:58 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c1nu0h/q4m_how_would_you_feel_if_a_girl_that_youre/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-how-would-you-feel-if-a-girl-that-youre.255247 https://theredarchive.com/post/255247

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