Do women really need emotional connections to have sex?

SmeggingRight · 2019-05-07T23:06:05+00:00

Do women need them? No.

It's just that some prefer them, while others don't.

My guess is that a lot of it ties to their sex drives. Women with higher sex drives will require less incentive for an emotional connection to want sex, while girls with lower sex drives won't.

That's how I am, at least.

eet_mijnen_schijt · 2019-05-07T23:42:54+00:00

"Some do; some don't."

Your post seems to have a hard time dealing with the very difficult and complex idea that there are in fact some traits that do not apply to an entire gender. Did you also know that some males like coffee and others don't?

Texastentialism · 2019-05-08T00:06:06+00:00

I know this is a cop out, but it really depends on the woman.

I think women pretty universally need a "connection" in the form of vibe and chemistry in order to be aroused by a guy. Yes part of that is his physical appearance, but it's also how he interacts with her and creates a sexy atmosphere for her to respond to. For some women, this is all the connection they need.

More inhibited women require that, and also need some sort of rapport and familiarity in order to feel comfortable enough with a guy to go home and get naked with him.

Still other women need the sexy vibes, the familiarity and the assurance of commitment before they'll have sex.

Personally I always fell more into the second category. The guys I hooked up with were guys I knew socially and had grown to feel comfortable with over time. If I met a stranger who was able to provide me with the exciting sexy tingly feelings, I might flirt with him, maybe make out with him, but ultimately I wouldn't go home and hook up with him because my inhibition wouldn't allow me to do that. I didn't need to be in love with a guy to have sex, I didn't need him to be my boyfriend, but I did need to know and trust him on some level.

FlavFal · 2019-05-07T23:30:32+00:00

Some women will sleep with the guy right away if he's attractive enough.

Some women won't sleep with the guy no matter how attractive he is and will wait until she gets emotional connection.

Nothing surprising tbh.

GridReXX · 2019-05-08T02:41:12+00:00

I don’t need “an emotional connection.”

I need “a connection.”

Some call this “chemistry” or “a spark.”

A connection can happen in an instant.

Now would I prefer “trust” and “shared history” most of the times too? Yes.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-07T23:09:49+00:00

i think its a poor description of A connection, and some women form that connection in a quicker, more disinhibited way than others

i definitely felt "a connection" of some kind with every man i slept with, but it was exactly the type of feeling seduction behaviors are designed to elicit, not whatever i see women describing when they say "emotional connection", ive never felt an "emotional connection" to a man til after sex as far as i know

sublimemongrel · 2019-05-07T23:21:30+00:00

No, but then it’s like doing laundry (for me). For true attraction to develop yes I need an emotional connection. So if what you are really asking is whether women need that connection to have real sexual attraction, for me yes. Although I don’t mean like years or months of non-sexual intimacy, the connection can be pretty quick (for me) but it would never develop in just a matter of hours.

Edit: why would you downvote this? So dumb

KikiYuyu · 2019-05-08T00:17:49+00:00

There are both men and women who feel this way. I'm a woman that feels this way.

iLiveInAHologram · 2019-05-08T01:24:54+00:00

I personally do. My sex drive is fairly reactive and if I feel something for a guy and know he wants me then suddenly I have a high sex drive. If I don’t feel connected to him I won’t want to have sex. Im not all women though.

flamingoinghome · 2019-05-08T06:28:08+00:00

No.

It's that there are some *girls* who don' need emotional connections, and you've stumbled onto them occasionally. If you were bisexual, you'd have noticed this is not just women--some men do not like sex with strangers either. The guys who are always getting randomly laid are good at finding women who like sex with strangers.

doctor_trucks · 2019-05-08T19:21:17+00:00

I do. Some women don't. Almost like we are all individuals or something.

smol_chan · 2019-05-08T03:11:05+00:00

I prefer them. Helps me get into it more.

immaculacy · 2019-05-08T03:36:29+00:00

Both genders need it. You can physically have sex without emotion, but it's very mentally unhealthy.

Willow-girl · 2019-05-08T03:44:20+00:00

I can't speak for others, but I just need to be horny and find him attractive. GAME ON!

Aldehydee · 2019-05-08T05:12:59+00:00

Yes, women release the bonding chemical oxytocin when having intercourse, which elicits an emotional response and attachment to her partner. This is an absolute difference between men and women.

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yasee · 2019-05-07T23:04:49+00:00

not every woman is the same

[deleted] · 2019-05-07T23:22:18+00:00

I absolutely do, but I think my particular case is unique. I know some women who also need or prefer them and others who don’t.

azngirl7689 · 2019-05-07T23:45:07+00:00

Me personally? Yes. My ex started off as my friend for a few months. I have a high drive but enough self control (IMO) to wait a little. If a dude can’t hang, not my issue!

Femtards-are-funny · 2019-05-08T00:03:10+00:00

Emotional connection is code for Financial commitment 😉

agpie9 · 2019-05-08T00:40:16+00:00

Just from personal experience, the few times I've had casual (no connection) sex have been super disappointing on my end (ie. no orgasm, felt inhibited and not in the moment, etc). I think "connection" can mean different things to different people though and there are many ways of creating one.

PHOENIX_THE_JEAN · 2019-05-08T01:34:40+00:00

Not always.

Sometimes a girl just wants a FWB, but he's going to have to meet her high standards. I had a Russian former body builder / personal trainer as a FWB for a few weeks and ended it because I met someone else who made our relationship official on day 1. This guy was 6'3, and JACKED. Back muscle, biceps, abs, the whole 9 yards. Would wine and dine me first and then I'd go back to his place, then sleep over.

The-Wizard-of-Oz- · 2019-05-08T02:06:11+00:00

No. But it I prefered.

Moldy_Gecko · 2019-05-08T04:37:03+00:00

My ex fwbwhen she gets drunk, she kisses. If the guy is a good kisser, she'll go home with him. No connection needed.

wtffellification · 2019-05-08T06:58:58+00:00

Women need to feel safe. That's it

Broski Chump Jocko wins over scrawny James the fort-knight.... even though Bro is emotionally distant and incapable of being connected to in any real intimate way.... why do you think that is? I would say it's definitely not because of 'emotional connection'

czerdec · 2019-05-08T09:15:51+00:00

The majority? Yes.

LillthOfBabylon · 2019-05-08T11:01:11+00:00

Disproportionately YES. But not always. Typically, if a girl just want one night stands, no.

[deleted] · 2019-05-08T11:02:02+00:00

Typical CC riding THOT here. I have so many thirsty ass orbiters I casually hooked up w 1-5 times that won't leave me alone, some still trying for decades to get at the pussy again. I'm not unique here, most women who have been around have them. Basically they are guys I had that flirtatious chemistry with, physical attraction varies, none are shy or ugly. After fucking and hanging a few times I didn't develop any emotional connection with them and they started becoming annoying so my attraction dried up and I dipped. Got a couple who live nearby I might meet with 1 out of every 10 times they ask, but they beg less and have some other values so I keep them on sex retainer, but no emotional connection has ever been made, even after a few years.

Basically I don't need emos to fuck but they need to develop in order to stay invested in the relationship and not get bored. Problem w that is catching feels when mutual relationship goals aren't aligned. Hence I keep everything very casual now, because I'm crazy and don't like to lose.

lolmageth · 2019-05-08T12:54:58+00:00

30s female here. Responding more to your title than your specific questions.

No, not necessarily emotional connection. But I think in general, some level of connection is needed. For me, I need to feel safe. And maybe one could argue feeling safe is a type of emotional connection, and if so, then sure, but I'm thinking your question is aimed at love/romantic-type emotions.

To have sex with a guy, besides being attracted to them (and I mean more than looks, the way a person talks and is animated is huge, as well as how they treat me and others), I need to know they're safe. So in that sense, a connection is required, but by no means does it have to require love or even the desire to want to be friends or to want to meet again. I just need to connect with the guy well enough to know I'll be fine (and more than just a physical sense but also in a self esteem sense, I need to know he's actually into me, that afterwards I'll still feel valued and not used, stuff like that).

However, that's just regular sex. If I were to go beyond vanilla, then I need a greater connection / level of trust. But again, doesn't have to be romantic.

I also might be the opposite of what you're describing. If I'm in a relationship, then I need sex to feel emotional connection. And the longer sex isn't part of the routine without reason, the more distant I'll feel from my partner. And no amount of non-sexually touching, I love yous, or nice gestures or words will help me feel connected again like sex will.

Even though women like me may appear to be less the norm, just wanted to point out the romantic emotion requirement definitely is not a blanket statement for all women.

DREWK789 · 2019-05-08T13:10:37+00:00

Just depends on the person. Some do some don't, it's personal preferences. I know some men like it? Be it a lot fewer aha.

TheMedsPeds · 2019-05-08T15:43:28+00:00

Need? of course not. Strongly, STRONGLY prefer? Sure. If I was going through some sort of dry spell and haven't even touched a man in like a year, I'd settle for a ONS but I would always prefer sex to be with someone I care about.

LifterofThings · 2019-05-08T15:54:06+00:00

I never needed an emotional connection and never regarded it as "YOU MUST EARN SEX BY GIVING ME EMOTIONAL CONNECTION", such that "... unless you're really hot then I'll bang you without investment from you" was a thing.

If I wanted sex with a particular guy, I had sex with him. There was never any opportunity for a man I found unattractive to "earn" sex from me by offering emotional connection -- the whole notion is weird.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-05-09T03:17:36+00:00

I have the opposite perceived problem of being emotionally detached

People must think it strange bc I am usually questioned about it

NaturalQueer · 2019-05-11T17:10:23+00:00

No, but I prefer a emotional connection. I think it also depends on the women though some women really do need it.

beautysleepsodom · 2019-05-07T23:15:18+00:00

No. Different people are different.

[deleted] · 2019-05-07T23:39:25+00:00

No. The girls I know who engage in casual sex couldn't care less about emotional connection. They only try to figure out if this person isn't a possible rapist. Frankly, I never cared about emotional connection too.

I do not think it's about a special kind of guys who don't need to build emotional connection. As soon as she is attracted to you and there's no creepy vibes you have a chance. There are certain girl though who don't engage in casual sex, this is why it takes times.

Title	Do women really need emotional connections to have sex?
Author	Bntt89
Upvotes	23
Comments	91
Date	May 7, 2019 11:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/blxkpm/do_women_really_need_emotional_connections_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-really-need-emotional-connections-to-have.255888 https://theredarchive.com/post/255888

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