Those who had fun in their youth (had a lot of casual sex): how do you look back on those years?

Gravel_Roads · 2018-10-18T11:21:58+00:00

I mostly laugh at how bad the sex was.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-10-18T12:25:19+00:00

“With fondness and happy memories? Or with regret?”

Some of both. There are a few I regret having slept with, several I regret not having slept with

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-10-18T13:49:20+00:00

The reason incels cant have any fun is that i had it all back then and theres no fun left in the world for them to have

Whodunnit88 · 2018-10-18T12:09:28+00:00

Why would I regret it?

I miss those days not particularly cos of the girls, but just the feeling of not giving a fuck about much and just going out to get fucked up and have a good time. The girls were always just a bonus on top of that.

The best time I've had with women in terms of quality and quantity has been since I got single again at 33. But the adrenaline rush isn't quite the same as when I was young, there isn't a big gang of misfits anymore.

SmurfESmurferson · 2018-10-18T12:54:02+00:00

It was fun, enjoyable. I came out of that phase confident in my sexuality, and emboldened to ask for what I want in bed. My marriage is all the more sexually satisfying for those attributes

That said, I don’t look back on it at all, and most certainly not to either reminisce or regret. It’s a part of my past, and remains there

reluctantly_red · 2018-10-18T13:58:00+00:00

God, i loved it! I was in relationships for allot of it, but i also had my single years as well. Even when i wasn't single i was out partying.

The late night bike rides to other cities, or just doing wheelies on the main strip. Picking up girls whenever, it was so easy back then. Didn't even have to ask them out, they would just invite themselves over to my place.

Eventually one by one the group members started getting married and left the scene. Then ended up fat, then divorced. And then my last ex put a stop to all of that

ivegotsomequestions0 · 2018-10-18T14:16:35+00:00

I'm glad they happened. They closed off the option of becoming serious with someone who holds terp beliefs, and forced me to find a guy who doesn't care about my slutty past.

DebatePony · 2018-10-18T15:47:24+00:00

I had a shit ton of fun in my youth. But there wasn't any casual sex since I was in a committed relationship, so the fun that was had was had with each other.

I don't regret it at all.

lefactorybebe · 2018-10-18T12:47:14+00:00

I didn't have casual sex, but I did a lot of partying when I was 21-23. It was an awesome time and I don't regret it in the slightest, hey, it's how I met my boyfriend!

I do miss it, but it's more the carefree attitude and feeling invincible that I miss. I could get drunk, stay out till 3/4 AM, and then go to school or work the next day. I'm 25 now and I get hangovers and shit. There's way more bills and worries now too.

Betty_420 · 2018-10-18T14:16:38+00:00

If I do think about it, it was a lot of fun! I'm not sure how it would have shaped me as a person; I've always been a fun times party girl. Now I'm a fun time party girl with my fun time party husband.

belletaco · 2018-10-18T14:25:55+00:00

a few regrets because there was some risky behavior i should have been smarter about, but overall it was a good time that i really don't look back on at all. the only thing i miss about those days was getting ready to go out to the bars with my friends, we old now :(

Orange_Paisley · 2018-10-18T17:58:54+00:00

I miss young people sex and also I miss my young person body. My biggest regret is that I didn't enjoy it more at the time for the fun it truly was, instead I coated it with melodrama and post-Catholic guilt.

[deleted] · 2018-10-18T11:26:05+00:00

They were fun years, I'm glad I had them. I honestly never find myself thinking about sex I had with other people, but the period in general was a good time.

How did they shape me? Well I have no worries that I ever missed out on anything, and I'm very aware of what makes me happy. It was fun at the time but I know I have no desire to relive it.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-10-18T11:55:30+00:00

I'm a very "live in the present" sort of person. I don't think about my previous experiences very much. I don't think I could tell you the name of 99% of the people I've been intimate with, or even what race they were, or how many there were. I was "living in the present" back then, too XD.

I have no regrets, though I'm probably a little embarrassed at how awkward I was in the start.

Fortunately, I mostly learned that everyone is pretty much equally awkward. Sex is ridiculous and kind of silly, full of weird noises and lots of blind touch. Being able to laugh at things and not take them seriously makes everyone more relaxed. Taking sex seriously is a death knell.

[deleted] · 2018-10-18T16:00:18+00:00

With fondness and happy memories?

Mostly

Or with regret?

Regret is a strong word. A little cringe, a few "what was I thinking?", but nothing truly awful.

Or maybe you don't think about it at all?

I rarely do

How did those years shape you as a person?

Hard to say. I am a sum of my experiences, and I'm happy with myself and my life.

LowCreddit · 2018-10-18T18:16:55+00:00

I definitely feel regret. I regret not knowing that I only had a narrow window to find a woman worth marrying. Instead I spent my youth fucking everything and feeling proud about it. Now I am almost 40 and as much as I like my girlfriend, it's just not special. It's not the same as when I was young and everything was new and exciting. Now we are just ticks in each other's boxes hoping to not die alone.

PennnyLame · 2018-10-18T18:18:46+00:00

I am personally offended that only casual sex is defined as “fun.” I drank, smoked, had a lot of fun with my friends and the guy who would eventually become my husband. Sometimes I cringe at my drunken antics but definitely nothing too terrible. Also, I was writing and producing shows and partying after so my drinking and partying did have some productive outputs. I don’t think they shaped me as a person, I was having those experiences because of who I am. I wish I had taken more pictures and spent less on beer but I have so many good memories and have stayed close to the good people. No regrets.

I still go out but definitely not as often!

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apube · 2018-10-18T14:02:05+00:00

I didn't go super crazy racking up numbers, but I definitely had fun. No regrets, even the ones I wouldn't have slept with while sober. Don't think about it much and don't miss those days, but it is nice to know that I can pull pretty well. I'd say it helped me become more confident because now I know I'm sexy.

dicklord_airplane · 2018-10-18T14:37:21+00:00

Im really glad i did. It took the pussy off the pedestal.

CainPrice · 2018-10-18T15:21:22+00:00

Think about your past sex. Other people's past sex is kind of like that.

How often do you think about some specific time that you had sex with this one person? All the time? Does it consume you? No. Probably not. You probably never think about it at all, or maybe once in a blue moon when someone else asks or brings up the topic. If you've had a lot of sex, you probably barely remember any individual time you had sex, or any individual casual partner that well.

Does that sex mean anything to you today? Probably not. It was fun at the time, and you don't regret it, but today it doesn't mean anything to you. You barely think about it.

Does that sex affect you today? Yes. This is the big one. It makes you more confident and open about sex in general. It also makes you more confident that finding sex and people who are into you isn't that hard so you're a little less invested in your relationships.

It also changes your perspective on relationships. If you were never part of the casual sex culture, then relationships have been the way you have sex your entire life. You have sex inside of relationships, and go without sex when you don't have a relationship. And you spend most of the time you're not in a relationship looking for a relationship. And when you have a relationship, sex is one of the most important things that relationship brings into your life.

If you're a casual sex person, then sex is something that happens for you regardless of relationships. During some times in your life, you probably weren't even looking for relationships since your sexual needs were being met anyway outside of them. And when you do find relationships, you consider everything else your partner brings to the table -except- for sex. Sexual attraction needs to be there, of course, and the sex needs to be decent. But whether or not you enter into a relationship instead of just having casual sex with someone depends on the things other than sex that this person brings.

It makes you less compatible with non-casual sex people, too. When your sexual needs have been met all the time, throughout your life, in or out of relationships, but for your partner, sex is the all-encompassing and single most important foundational aspect of a romantic relationship, it's hard to make that work.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2018-10-18T15:52:04+00:00

Don't really think about it or anybody much other than just missing the kind of life I had, and the occasional "wonder how so and so is really doing."

I've spent more time in relationships, and a lot of the casual was more weekend or few week flings than one night stands. Had a couple FWB, and was the guy on the side a few times.

I regret probably about a third of them, and the last two in a row.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2018-10-18T18:14:11+00:00

It was cheap sex. Rushed, almost boring at times, disconnected, stressful at times.

I don't miss it. But I do miss the sexual ly charged parties and gatherings. It was pure torture, but it made me feel alive.

tiposk · 2018-10-18T19:55:28+00:00

I don't think too much of it. I'm not even sure why i'm replying ha ha.

Willow-girl · 2018-10-19T03:42:20+00:00

With fondness and happy memories?

Oh hell yeah! I have been settled down and married almost my entire adult life, so I'm glad I sowed my wild oats when I had the chance. :-)

Purple5091 · 2018-10-21T06:07:52+00:00

well am still in my youth.and i think casual sex is ok but i don't think i have much casual sex.had 2 LTR and 4 one night stands,but more dates than anything

reluctantly_red · 2018-10-18T14:54:06+00:00

Shit if I knew then what I know now I would have had even more fun.

Fond memories of young women looking up at me with that wide eyed I just want to fuck right now look. Only ever met one over 30 woman who could still do that look.

TauregPrince · 2018-10-18T13:56:25+00:00

Partied for 5 years abroad as a service member. I look back on those years warmly. Made me better in the sack, more confident, it was wild . The downside is that, after learning my value I began not to invest heavily in relationships unless I felt that a woman was worthwhile. Which at times isn't a downside.

reluctantly_red · 2018-10-18T19:32:01+00:00

I’ve had a lot of sex. I’m an extremely high libido person, and am glad that I had the opportunity to craft my skills in bed. My partners were all pretty chill people and I can’t remember a time when I didn’t get off. I haven’t had any negative experiences so I have to say I regard my sleeping around as pretty positive.

I think getting to know a lot of people intimately has helped me to become a more understanding person. As well as a better lover, I’ve been told good things :)

Title	Those who had fun in their youth (had a lot of casual sex): how do you look back on those years?
Author	Whodunnit88
Upvotes	5
Comments	81
Date	October 18, 2018 11:12 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9p8aa1/those_who_had_fun_in_their_youth_had_a_lot_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/those-who-had-fun-in-their-youth-had-a-lot-of.259399 https://theredarchive.com/post/259399

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