CMV: Men do not "project their sexuality" onto women. Women are just as sexual, visual, visceral, and physically lustful towards men the same way men are towards women.

quotient_is · 2017-07-13T02:39:26+00:00

A large body of scientific research documents four important gender differences in sexuality. First, on a wide variety of measures, men show greater sexual desire than do women. Second, compared with men, women place greater emphasis on committed relationships as a context for sexuality. Third, aggression is more strongly linked to sexuality for men than for women. Fourth, women's sexuality tends to be more malleable and capable of change over time. These male-female differences are pervasive, affecting thoughts and feelings as well as behavior, and they charac- terize not only heterosexuals but lesbians and gay men as well.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237583885_Human_Sexuality_How_Do_Men_and_Women_Differ

You can find the full text of this via Google. The author's name is Anne Paplau. She goes on to explain that women are more likely to romanticize sexual feelings. Female sexual fantasies are more likely to include a familiar partner and include elements of affection and commitment. Male fantasies are more likely to involve strangers or multiple partners and focus on specific sexual acts or body parts.

One of the most interesting results to come out of that work, researchers say, is that there are significant differences between men and women in the relationship between physiological and subjective arousal.

"What we find in research in males is there's a very high correlation between their erectile response and how aroused they say they are," says Meston. "But in women we get low, if any correlations."

http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr03/arousal.aspx

The research on this subject suggests that there are significant difference between the sexes, including differences in physiological arousal.

TLDR, the women here aren't all lying to you. Sex hormone differences lead to differences in sexual arousal and expression. There will be exceptions, of course, but this is the general trend.

sublimemongrel · 2017-07-13T01:05:33+00:00

Yes, collectively the women of PPD all had a meeting and decided we would all agree on this one specific point just to troll you men PPDers.

In all seriousness, what you are describing in the body of your OP is not all that far off. We aren't claiming women aren't sexual, we are claiming our attraction doesn't work like men's. And we have explained this over and over again to you guys. Our attraction is absolutely not as visual but that doesn't mean we can't see good-looking men, that doesn't mean looks don't matter for purposes of female attraction, and that doesn't mean we are less sexual with men we are attracted to.

We are not lying to you or anyone else for that matter when we describe female attraction as needing more intimacy/emotional connection than a man's (generally) or needing more personality/behavioral attractive traits than a man's (again generally). If women were attracted to men the way men are attracted to women there'd be a shit ton more casual sex, ONS's and bathroom bangs, you know all the shit that plenty of men here seem to want and can't seem to get. You think that's all because women fear stigma? Or perhaps could it be in large part due to our sexuality working differently?

Electra_Cute · 2017-07-13T01:25:02+00:00

Females are visual, it is just that pictures of scantily-clad homosexual males doused in oil is not enough. Males doing certain activities, acting in certain ways and even having a certain style is really hot.

HossMcDank · 2017-07-13T06:57:55+00:00

Have a 7/10 man and 7/10 woman walk into a bar, go up to every member of the opposite gender and say "have sex with me."

If you get the same result, your assertion might have some merit.

Alternatively, look at the sexual promiscuity of gay men vs lesbians. Again, if they're the same, you might be onto something.

whichbladeN · 2017-07-13T00:26:53+00:00

There was a thread made just today trying to prove that women are low libido. In this case specifically after marriage.

It was very much a red pill narrative, not a blue one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6mvblj/can_we_talk_lesbian_bed_death/?utm_content=comments&utm_medium=hot&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=PurplePillDebate

RedPillDetox · 2017-07-13T15:50:34+00:00

You're wrong in preety much every way possible.

In addition to all ~~common sense~~ the scientific evidence that people been posting showing that on average women are not as sexual as men, this Scientific paper has shown that when women are approached by a very good looking guy and invited for sex, only 3% of women accept it (compared to virtually 0% for the average looking guy). By contrast most men accept the invitation even if it's an average looking woman.

The idea that women wil be DTF provided is a really attractive guy has some truth to it, but it largely depends on the woman, the situation and the guy himself. Most of the time women wont be DTF just because he's really attractive like many men out there are. This is undeniable.

darkmoon09 · 2017-07-13T05:11:22+00:00

Women can be visual, while still being less visual than men. And they can still be horny and want sex, but significantly less so than men.

Women don't prioritize looks to the same extent that men do. That doesn't mean they don't prioritize looks. Everyone prioritizes looks to a certain extent. Nobody is going to choose the ugly person over the attractive person if they have the choice.

exit_sandman · 2017-07-13T12:01:57+00:00

Women are DTF as much as men are, they just hold out for a select group of men.

These two are mutually exclusive. If women were just as much DTF as men are, then they wouldn't be as selective.

Don't get me wrong - I totally agree that there's an awful lot of whitewashing going on regarding female priorities and preferences, especially regarding the importance of physical appearance when it comes to sexual and also romantic attraction.

The disconnect I am seeing here is between two polar ends of a possible sexual spectrum. On the one end is the "willing to have sex by default"-stance men have, on the other is the "only willing to have sex under the most sublime and romantic of circumstances"-stance women ostensibly have. However, you're going too far by claiming that women are basically the same as men - while they certainly aren't as lofty as they claim to be, women are still pretty far away from men.

The actual disconnect is that men are very much able to compartmentalize sex and romance, while the same doesn't apply to women - or rather: a woman can totallly check a man's physical standards for casual meaningless sex, but can simultaneously fail the physical standards for a relationship (not to mention the other standards). This doesn't apply to women - if a guy is hot enough to fuck right off the bat, as a rule he's also more than merely "hot enough" for a relationship.

Of course this imbalance, coupled with casual sex being considered acceptable these days, leads to lots of situations where women willingly spread their legs for guys who more than fulfill their physical standards, while they themselves fall short of the standards these guys have; which in turn produces women who complain that men are fuckboys and that all they want is a guy who cares about how they feel and all that shit: They wish the guys they want to sleep with were offering them all the shit they constantly complain about being absent from their love lives, which produces the impression that women have all these lofty requirements, when basically all they're saying is that they want a Ferrari on a Ford budget.

honeypuppy · 2017-07-13T05:39:27+00:00

There are a minority of women who are like this. When one of them hooks up with Chad, you think it's because all women will hook up with Chad, but in reality it's usually because Chad just filtered for a slut.

RockinSocksII · 2017-07-13T00:12:11+00:00

So the majority of women don't only have sex in a relationship?

writingtoc · 2017-07-13T01:11:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2017-07-13T01:19:38+00:00

Considering that I'm a guy and need an emotional connection to want sex and won't have casual sex with even the hottest woman, I'm assuming there are many more women who are exactly like this. Some women are open to immediate casual sex with the right man, but certainly not all of them and perhaps not even a majority.

darkmoon09 · 2017-07-13T02:47:48+00:00

I think you answered your question with the knob vs switch analogy.

The important bit about the whole analogy is that a knob takes more effort than a flick.

This seemingly subtle difference actually accounts for all of it

darkmoon09 · 2017-07-13T16:17:33+00:00

OP, I agree with you. I went from a "3" to a "9" after about 3 years of dedicated effort, and couldn't believe how many women started acting eerily similar to MEN! The idea that women are not visual is a load of crap, and I believe that myth does a lot of damage to both genders. People like to throw around "studies" that push this narrative, but my own real-world experience completely contradicts it. Something's not right. I'd sure like to know what the hell is going on.

simcity4000 · 2017-07-13T16:45:06+00:00

One of the things I find interesting about women's sexuality is that in my experience I've noticed a significant divide between women who genuinely appreciate looking at dicks, and those who do not.

I've noticed this in my sexual partners, some women genuinely like receiving dick pics, they like looking at it, they like touching it, they comment on it a lot etc.

Other women like sex, and like sex with men, but a dick is just a not particularly aesthetically pleasing tool to that end.

A female friend told me this was true among her friends as well: a clear divide between the 'dicks are great' opinions, and the 'dicks are useful, but ew' opinions.

Back when tinder let you send out broadcasts, a friend would just send out pictures of his cock. Plenty of women would unmatched him immediately, a handful though would message 'wow is that your cock?' and be dtf.

Some women are highly visual, some aren't. I don't doubt you've met plenty of women who are as visually turned on a guys are, they exist. Statistically though it remains more a common trait in men.

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[deleted] · 2017-07-13T02:14:58+00:00

Maybe we underestimate the things that drive a man's desire though. Perhaps reducing it to sees something hot - gets horn is too simplistic.

I dont get a boner every time I see a hot girl.

darkmoon09 · 2017-07-13T04:03:16+00:00

nope.

prodigy2throw · 2017-07-13T04:53:28+00:00

This is only true for the top % of men.

exit_sandman · 2017-07-13T11:30:30+00:00

Waiting for /u/gridrexx

theiamsamurai · 2017-07-13T16:20:19+00:00

Granted, the sexualites of men and women may not be 100% on the same page because obviously men and women are different creatures and are wired differently, a good way of putting it would be that men are like a switch and are ready to go at a moment's notice while women are more like a knob that gradually builds up to a certain point, but that's really the only main difference. The pathways to sexual bliss may be a tad bit different but the end destination is the same.

So why don't they gradually build up to paying men money for sex? Argument REKD

daveofmars · 2017-07-14T00:27:29+00:00

Are you a woman? Because in your post you have clearly heard from women that they have different preferences than the men here.

And even you say that men and women are wired different in your post, so you recognize there are differences.

And it's not like you can swap brains with a man or woman to experience those differences for yourself, so it's not like you can claim personal knowledge about how the opposite sex thinks.

And it's highly unlikely that men and women perfectly match in their libidos given that we are different sexes and have different roles.

So what do you base your argument on? Your own personal experiences? Well that's what half the people who disagree with you have as well. The only question that remains is whether I can trust your judgement or not, and I don't.

If you want to see where all these preferences aggregate, just look at the market. How many strip clubs cater to straight men versus straight women? It's like 100 to 1. How many female prostitutes exist for every single straight male jiggalo? How many romance books are written for straight men versus roman written for women? Yeah, there are places where the sexes overlap, but even in porn, because everyone watches porn, there are giant differences between quantity and quality compared to the sexes. Yes, we're all special little snowflakes, all individual and unique, and one woman can have a higher libido than one man, if you're cherry picking, but averages exist and the averages provide insight into our nature.

I mean, you can personally believe whatever you want, based on your own experiences, but when you look at the forest, not just the trees, the differences are absolutely clear.

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