CMV: "men age like wine" and "women settle for betas" are one and the same

Archwinger · 2017-02-24T18:19:45+00:00

Grown up nerds aren't masculine, and women who marry unmasculine grown up nerds aren't doing it because they're attracted to his masculinity.

I'm not saying women are deliberately lining up a divorce target once Chad stops texting back. Women don't actually like being screwed over by Chad for the 150th time. The sex is good. The whirlwind short-term relationship is exciting while it lasts, and the thought that this time, it might actually pan out keeps her going...until it doesn't.

But after making the same mistakes many dozens of times, they really think they want a nice guy, and a grown up nerd is great on paper. Because he's kind to them. Respectful. Nice. Thoughtful. And they love being treated this way. Even though these behaviors are "unattractive". I mean unattractive from a purely sexual standpoint, obviously. Being decent to other humans is a very human-attractive quality, but it's not a sexy quality that makes people horny. Nobody gets a wet vagina when a skinny nerd presents her with flowers or helps an old lady cross the street. The niceness doesn't make women horny. Not the way masculinity does.

A lot of women marry a decent guy, like the grown up nerd, who's good on paper, but end up feeling trapped. Because they really, really like their husband (as a human), but that special spark isn't there. They love him with their brains, but not with every fiber of their being. The thought of giving herself over to him completely, letting go, and having raw animal sex with her good-on-paper husband doesn't feel right. She ends up dishing out controlled amounts of sex, only certain kinds, and only under certain circumstances. And after enough time in that marriage, she realizes she's not feeling it like she should.

The grown up nerd is not masculine or sexy. He's just nice, which a lot of women like, but fail to realize how fatal it is for a marriage or relationship when there isn't genuine sexual attraction.

cuittler · 2017-02-24T18:47:47+00:00

I'll challenge your view: you're trying to make sense of something that isn't based on logic but on feelings.

"Men age like wine and women age like milk" is meant to boost aging men's self-esteem and give unattractive younger guys hope while simultaneously demeaning women to make them less intimidating - they refer to it as "taking the pussy off the pedestal" though they clearly aim to go much further than just making women seem less intimidating.

"Most women are used up by 23" accomplishes the same thing, but takes the woman-bashing to another level and contains a stronger element of sour grapes logic. "They're all just gross and busted, even the 16 year olds are looking haggard!" is a way to make them feel psychologically secure, they get to feel like they preemptively rejected those women without having to take the risk of even talking to them.

"Women settle for betas" is another way of making themselves feel better. They may have truly had a bad relationship, dead bedroom, whatever, but sharing their misery with others in that situation isn't enough. They need to tell themselves that this is actually happening to most men on a grand scale because then it's not just their little lonely hearts club swapping stories, it's a grand scheme waged by all of womankind unto poor, unsuspecting men who are just trying to work hard to please their gynocentric matriarchs. Now, they are the enlightened heroes and not just some poor shlub who had a bad relationship.

"Women all ride the CC until they can't anymore" is simply a projection fantasy of what they would do given the sometimes real but mostly imagined sexual lives of women. The idea that most women have racked up a dozen partners before age 20 is both their fantasy and their jealous rage. They simultaneously want to have it and keep women from having it. This is why many of them are fine with men sleeping around in their 20s and settling down with a "nice, submissive, virginal young girl under 25" but a woman sleeping around in her 20s then settling down with a nice, stable, mature guy who's ready for a family is REEEEE BETA BUXX!

Psychological defense mechanisms and projection are the only basis for these ideas, and it helps no one to take them too seriously.

future_space_boobs · Fri Feb 24 18:19:02 2017 UTC

it's a bad deal because every time a woman has sex with a guy she hides a fragment of her soul in his dick basically like a horcrux. by the time shes ready to get married she's basically Voldemort. there are no exceptions to this rule and no, it has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-02-24T18:24:02+00:00

So why is this bad a bad deal for betas?

Because beta's are required to do the most and receive the least. While the CC girl gave the most to other guys she required very little from.

she's still into the same type of guy or that he isn't attractive to her now.

Ha! Oh, they are, just come to an epiphany that they can't attract that kind of guy anymore. Don't you know? Women have dual mating strategies.

Ever see Benjamin Button? Interesting movie.

[deleted] · 2017-02-24T18:33:09+00:00

So why is this bad a bad deal for betas?

For betas? For real betas it's a raw deal because they're still beta. They might find a wife, but if they're being settled on then the raw attraction that drives the best sex probably isnt there. They dont have much power, because their partner has had to compromise to 'settle on' them whereas they are quite possibly head over heels. Also, if the woman has lowered her standards to be with him, that doesnt mean her standards arent still there. If both are aware of this, he could be forever paranoid she will trade up again and then he will be under the thumb.

I'm definitely enjoying my 30s more than my 20s, for several reasons. The increasing range of dating prospects is definitely one of them.

[deleted] · 2017-02-24T18:33:36+00:00

They're one and the same in that neither is true you mean.

cholomite · 2017-02-24T18:41:29+00:00

You seem to be implying that the guys who are attractive in their youth somehow lose that attractivness and are surpassed by betas. That's not true. The hot and popular guys in their 20s, if they remain single, are often still hot and popular in their 40s. They don't get passed by betas once they hit middle age.

The difference is that the hot and popular guys get to continue fucking attractive 20yr olds well into their older prime years, while the aging betas have to settle for post wall former CC riding used up women, because they are still out gamed and outclassed by the guys who have been alphas all along.

Not to mention that the quality of sex for betas is nothing compared to the quality of sex alphas have gotten all along.

goatismycopilot · 2017-02-24T18:42:59+00:00

While at 18 she was attracted to effeminate hipsters and bad boys now she's more attracted to something that's really masculine and not just an edgy way to pretend to be masculine (confidence vs arrogance, courageous vs irresponsible, etc).

No, she isn't "attracted" to beta bitchboy. We just had this discussion.

It's a bad deal for betas because they're not getting sex with these women. Oh, they get a little bit now and then, but NOTHING like she gave the bad boys and alpha dickbags. They're signing up for 20 years of backbreaking labor and endless shit testing.

but once his body matured he's now more masculine and attractive. His personality fits his looks and he's no longer the weird one.

No. He's now a nerd in an adult body which is typical American adult male - doughy, paunchy, out of shape - unless he started doing things specifically to improve his body, which most men don't.

this doesn't mean that she's still into the same type of guy or that he isn't attractive to her now.

Yeah it does.

wtknight · 2017-02-24T19:21:42+00:00

I think a lot of it depends upon how the woman acts for the now mature beta male. TRP seems to think that every former CC riding woman is basically having pity sex with her guy, if she is having sex at all with him, and that she secretly longs to be with the Chad who she could never tie down. This does happen in certain cases, and in cases like that, the man really is just a BB.

However, sometimes the woman is really like how you describe and she has matured and now wants a fine mature wine-like man. If that woman has the same kind of sex drive with her aged beta male that she did for the bad boys and hipsters in her past, then your theory holds water. But if she isn't, then TRP is right. It's a case-by-case thing. Older betas (like myself), who probably did age like wine and who are happy with their sex life aren't the ones going to TRP and mTRP. But other guys possibly are in a beta bucks type scenario.

[deleted] · 2017-02-24T19:38:10+00:00

So why is this bad a bad deal for betas? They simply are late bloomers that had to watch the early bloomers have sex while they themselves only cared about books and video games, but this doesn't mean that she's still into the same type of guy or that he isn't attractive to her now.

Because she's not attracted to him in the raw animal way, she's attracted to him because of things he has like money.

AutoModerator · 2017-02-24T18:11:10+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-02-24T18:41:54+00:00

For the nerdy guy,

The only thing I could see as a potential issue, is his being dissatisfied at women only now coming along as he became successful.

"They thought I was shit when I was younger, and now only come around now that I've got money and connections. They never liked me who I am, only what I am."

If they manage to avoid that mindset, then I imagine it's cool.

Christian_Kong · 2017-02-24T21:21:34+00:00

They simply are late bloomers that had to watch the early bloomers have sex while they themselves only cared about books and video games

We both know this is false, beta dudes want a GF much more than normal people. It's not like "Fridays here!..... Jess said she wants to hang out and watch movies, but I am choosing to stay in and play Overwatch."

[deleted] · 2017-02-24T23:35:30+00:00

I disagree with TRP with this one. I think this is their kind of revenge on women for riding the cock carousel. The truth of the matter is women still have advantages when getting older. If youre a guy and haven't gotten economically stable, women will treat you like trash when you're older. Sorry.

Title	CMV: "men age like wine" and "women settle for betas" are one and the same
Author	BiggerDthanYou
Upvotes	2
Comments	191
Date	February 24, 2017 6:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5vz1rs/cmv_men_age_like_wine_and_women_settle_for_betas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-age-like-wine-and-women-settle-for-betas.269881 https://theredarchive.com/post/269881

Comments