You're backsliding.

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September 24, 2019

My preacher used to say this in all of his sermons. He called it "backsliding" when someone was falling out of typical Christian habits. For example, if someone indulges in the occasional porno video, despite being Christian, they have backslidden.

This is not a religious post. Christians get a lot of things wrong. In the south, a lot of people don't believe in basic, proven scientific principles about nature. This post is solely referring to the concept of backsliding.

If someone thinks their girl wouldn't cheat on them with Tom Brady given the chance, they're backsliding. If someone quits lifting because they have a unique "personality" to compensate, they're backsliding. If you start to consider dating advice that women give you, you're backsliding. Going blue. Objectively a worse person than when you started.

The moment you share a secret with your girl, thats the moment you've fucked up. Female rappers are starting to make fun of guys who tell all their secrets to her after they fuck. At the time, she might have fake sympathy, but they're drying her up.

The only way to stay on path is to read the core tenets of TRP. Not these new guys trying to reinvent the wheel. Not the guys who say you need to be a "little beta" to pull women.

Quit. Being. Soft.

This post does not intend to have any insight, it's just a reminder to always, always, always, have your guard up.

Post Information
Title You're backsliding.
Upvotes 763
Comments 136
Date 24 September 2019 06:01 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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betaliftthe red pill

[–][deleted] 403 points404 points  (68 children) | Copy

I used to think that by pouring my emotions out and telling a girl about all of my hardships that we’d bond better.

That’s a fucking lie.

Less is more. You should give just enough to make her realize that you’re not a psychopath, but if she’s pouring her emotions out, there’s no need for you to mirror that behavior.

[–]TroglodyneSystems142 points143 points  (22 children) | Copy

You’re right. You cannot mirror that. She doesn’t want that. If she’s pouring out her emotions, it’s because she needs a rock to make her feel anchored. That is you. If you do the same and pour out your emotions and uncertainties, you have lost the foundation she wants and needs. Listen. Be understanding. But be stoic.

[–]EarlOfJerusalem89 points90 points  (17 children) | Copy

Yup, learnt this the hard way (all the best lessons are learnt that way, anyhow).

LTR, opened up to her about the crushing depression I was suffering from. Relationship was over within 2-3 months, wasn't the same after that really. Of course, she never did anything to help with it anyway.

Funny thing is, I knew about TRP. Been reading it for years, that's how I got said girl in the first place. Do you know what she admitted to thinking about me the first time I met her? She told me when she first saw me in the club, she "knew I would be good in bed". That's before I even spoke to her. I went from that, to pouring out my emotions to her lmao. I don't think I can do LTRs, always get myself caught up in the lovey dovey bullshit.

[–]mryoudontknowme36859 points60 points  (9 children) | Copy

6 years of marriage down the drain. 6 years she fought with me to open up to her and to lean on her...... I finally caved and did. Same story, sex dried up almost instantly and the rest of the relationship followed. 6 years was over in about 6 months.

Funny thing is it created a loop. I felt a little depressed (not even all that bad relatively) and opened up about it to her expecting support. Instead she treated me worse and pulled away, which made me feel worse, which I would stupidly tell her, and then it would all repeat again and get worse. By the end of this cycle I was a suicidal wreck and she was gone. The whole time not realizing I was the one "pushing" her away and ever more desperate to get support from her that she simply was not capable of giving.

After she was officially gone my depression "magically" lifted bc it was 90% derived from her pulling away and my desperate desire for her support.

[–]xkcd_puppy24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

ever more desperate to get support from her that she simply was not capable of giving.

One of the hardest pills for a man to swallow in real life experiences.

[–]Moxiecodone5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can see now that having women in your life is not equivalent to having a support system in any way. It’s a challenge and testament to your ability as a man.

They can’t give you anything. They don’t have anything to offer you that you truthfully need. It’s all a reflection of your level of mastery and status.

[–]p3n1x8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your "support system" is other men. If you can't say to another man what you are willing to say to a girl, than most likely it should not be said at all.

[–]Moxiecodone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s a very good standard I’ve not considered before.

[–]Frumpelstilskin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Geez. You’ve just been with the wrong women

[–]Moxiecodone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can't believe you, a woman who is posting on the infidelity sub, would have the fucking audacity to comment on my month old comment to say i've been with the wrong women. You are the wrong woman and there are many like you. More than any of us can count.How fucking dare you come here in this space to try and detract from my experience with that bullshit. How about you be a better woman before coming along and trying to reassure men who've been hurt by women just like you. Fuck off.

[–]oooKenshiooo20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is an underrated comment.

Marriage is extra hard because you can not ghost her like you ghost a plate in order to fan the flame of her interest. Instead, you are slowly smothering it.

However, if a women can not overcome this aspect of her psyche, she is not marriage material anyway.

[–]masculinetruth9990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The main problem with marriage is that, and I do not condone violence, but back in the primal days a man and woman had a bond, and if that woman became a traitor, the male would beat her to death. Nobody, not even the male she cheated with, would protect her in 99% of cases, because no male, no matter how hot the chick, wants a cheating female for their future unless they have no options. Also, VERY important to point out that even a minor scrape or wound could lead to a deadly infection/disease back then, so males only really want to fight when they have to, similar to pretty much any animal that isn't rabid. There's a reason bears, even when hunting small prey, take their time at first. One scrape can mean game over.

There's no way to enforce a loyal marriage in todays age, and in fact, the rules have slowly but surely gone in the females favor. She starts the divorce timer in her head the very moment you get her a ring.

[–]vullnet12328 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Same here. Went from being her alpha to her despising me. Can't blame her though, I cried on her shoulders way too many times Lmao. She had enough of it after a certain point, she actually tried to help, which is the fucked up part. At least that breakup led me here

[–]Blaze-Bless5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah man I totally hear this, I even after over a year with TRP just fuckin did this to an extent with a fwb, just divulging secrets and giving up certain emotional past struggles by way of sort of exchanging stories with her, sex and everything else good started to withdraw in the days/weeks that followed. As stated I guess lessons learned the hard way is the best way TO learn. Chicks are twisted, gotta play em just right or it's a lost investment; good thing there's so goddamn many of them! Rollo talks about the concept of being Alpha while single and Beta while monogamous in volume 3 of rational male (positive masculinity)

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

just right or it's a lost investment

When is it a gain?

Chicks are like cars, you aren't getting back what you paid for it.

[–]Blaze-Bless0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Didn't say it was ever a gain bro, just said it's a loss when you make a wrong move. -Edit: as in loss of the time/effort investment, in the event that you have invested any time/effort. Some guys don't/don't have to, other times you put in a certain amount of time or effort to achieve a desired result.

[–]Moxiecodone3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

When I was trying to get back together with my ex after she cheated on me (I was desperate, confused, hurting, lonely).. we went to a dinner where she had the heart (or lack of it) to tell me this:

‘When you were depressed, you just weren't interesting anymore.’

Like that was a valid reasoning for her tapping out of things mentally and fucking someone else.

I just said, ‘ouch, okay’ but really that shit has stuck with me because of how cold / callous it really was. Your only concern with my state of being is if it interests you? You didn’t think how could you help? Brutal.

She was the least helpful person when it came to any of my real issues. I question the value of what women bring to the table all the time now.

[–]p3n1x3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was the least helpful person when it came to any of my real issues.

Give them a task / jobs to do, i.e. purpose. If they rebel or outright refuse while expecting your support at the same time, than their value can never be more than a "fuck buddy". Throw that fish back.

Chicks like that eventually find Captain Save a Ho and then rip him apart slowly.

[–]empty_018 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm having a hard time trying to realize this, I still see my partner as a support but I don't really feel any kind of support. Because she needs way more support than me, emotionally speaking.

She doesn't admit it but she needs a father figure that drives her forward and makes her feel like things will he ok, rest on my chest and feel secure.

In that scenario, I don't feel support at all, I do feel love, but if I want support I have to go to my friends, who will be there for me, just like I am there for them.

I know all of this, but the pressure I feel sometimes makes me feel like I have a sunken chest.

Maybe I'm just not ready for an LTR. Or maybe I just need to become mentally stronger and emotionally more independent and things will be fine.

[–]TroglodyneSystems18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Rely on your male friends, and work on yourself. If you look to your girlfriend as your emotional support, she will begin to view you more as a boy who needs her, rather than a man who doesn’t necessarily “need” her. If you’re a man who isn’t needy for her, she will cling to your perceived value. Women want to fuck a man, and mother a child. You’re one or the other. Guess which one earns respect? No one likes neediness, least of all a woman worth a shit. If you need support, take that to your friends. Or take that energy to a gym, or the trail, or whatever outlet you prefer. Hell, write about it. And definitely read the suggested literature in the sidebar. But realize that to independently and successfully navigate the world, the only support you need and can rely upon is your confidence in yourself. Your ability to not crumble when faced with adversity and to push on in spite of it. These are the characteristics that will give you success in life and especially with women.
You don’t need a mother anymore, and no woman wants to fuck a boy. Good luck, brother. You got this.

[–]empty_010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you mate, really a wake up call this comment of yours, hope you the best.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some chicks demand more attention than others. The hard thing to accept is that it is not your obligation and she is not entitled to siphon your emotional resources.

Do you constantly rack up credit debt and purchase garbage for yourself? Why do that with/for a woman?

Can I come to your home and just take your property without permission? That is what she is doing if you feel Overwhelming Pressure.

She fooled you, you are her bitch at the moment. You feel guilty or like a "bad person" if you don't "support" her.

Keep chewing the pill.

[–]Pokeylaw13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

That last statement hit hard af

[–]seedster533 points34 points  (38 children) | Copy

"You never talk your heart out to me" Me- so you want me to be your boyfriends or your gay friend.

[–]1PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP[S] 115 points116 points  (36 children) | Copy

No. You don't say the rules out loud. You're supposed to just look like you don't have problems. God doesn't bleed.

If she knows that you know what's going on, it's less attractive than if you just act like "nothing really bothers me babe."

[–]loophole292109 points110 points  (32 children) | Copy

I find it funny that we have to act like gods to merely keep the attention and sex of an average woman. Good grief.

[–]bigfootbeliever6985 points86 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m just an internet commenter but to me trp should create a strong desire to become the best version of yourself. Attracting women is a side effect and an affirmation that you’re on the right track, but not the end goal.

[–]Thynome28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that's how I take it too.

Do I go to the gym and work my ass off solely because I want to impress some chicks? Certainly not. I go there because afterwards, I feel relaxed and at the same time like I can achieve anything if I want to. My fitness and body changed much to the positive. I became a better version of myself.

In addition to that, my change in physique did earn me the respect of those around me, which is a very nice side effect, but ultimately not the main goal.

I still don't know how to handle women as good as you guys by far, but I'm way less afraid to simply trial and error now and am less self-conscious

[–]Kn310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly women are at the finish line waiting for men, don't chase them just win your race.

[–]lunaluis14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think a big part of it is the mindset you have when you talk to your girl about something.

If you talk to her with the mindset of trying to get sympathy and being negative about it, then yea. The truth is bad stuff is going to happen to everyone in life and even females understand this.

If I tell a girl my hardships, it’s not going to be for sympathy or to make it sound like my life has been hard, or because my life is harder than hers. Instead, it’s because I’ve went through hardships that I have learned a lot from and it’s relevant to the conversation we’re having. I don’t worry about the hardships I couldn’t control, just focus on what I could and what helped me.

I think if you approach talking about hardships in this logical manner (leave emotions out of it), it’s not going to be a turn off. The moment you put too many emotions into it (I was soooo depressed, my life was so hard at this point, poor me), that’s when it feels disingenuous and negative.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's all about frame.

I've revealed like "all my secrets" to women before but it didn't change anything because i was very "take it or leave it" about it. the vibe was "yeah i'm fucked up, take it or leave it". I've never looked for validation, support or anything about it, i just stated it cos it's a fact or cos it's an interesting conversation topic.

and as we know girls look at context not content so if i talk about my crippling anxiety and low self esteem... but talk about it like i don't give a fuck and ironically sound high self esteem.... she doesn't lose attraction.

if there's one thing RSD taught me that has always held true, it's that when it comes to women it's ALL ABOUT THE VIBE. you can literally talk about ANYTHING with a woman and as long as the vibe is neutral to good then it will fly.

i mean you could literally go up to a girl and say "i'm gonna rape ya" and if you got a good vibe, you could legit make her laugh.

point being.. women are not made for logic which is bad if you're beta but FANTASTIC if you're alpha.

[–]DuffBude2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think along those lines too. But there are times when I tell my wife something about what I'm thinking and she latches on to the wrong things in an annoying way. Then I just wish I hadn't told her anything.

For example, "my coworker is kind of awkward, I'd like to help him out a little", she interprets that as "I'm going to invite him over and he's going to be my new best friend", and starts telling me "no he's weird!", rather than just interpreting it as "I'll tell him to toughen up whenever he's complaining".

It seems like the less you divulge to them about your inner mind workings, the less they can criticize you or annoy you.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's funny to see the wake of relationship destruction that comes from making people believe in Blank slate equalism.

if we just taught people from a young age that men and women are NOT the same then all this disappointment could be avoided.

[–]fdsafdasfdsafds 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

act like gods

Acting is only the first step. If you genuinely stop looking to others for emotional support you will become a God among men who are falling apart.

[–]loophole2924 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tbh I don’t care about being a god among men I just wanna get pussy and live a decent life.

[–]Moxiecodone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is nothing in this bullshit drama for us aside from a nut and I’m about ready to just start paying for a nut rather than go through the indignation I feel from running these games.

[–]IBudgetForIt1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

Those of us who are MGTOW have decided it's not worth the effort.

[–]rockyp322 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy

Imagine if everyone did that the human race would die out from men shying away from that struggle. It should be a necessary struggle our main drive is to reproduce and keep living on!!!

[–]IBudgetForIt1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

We know that women only find about the top 20% of men genuinely attractive. Imagine if every guy made it a priority to get into that top 20%. 80% would be doomed to failure no matter what super-human efforts they made. At some point it's a waste of time to invest in the struggle of attracting women, and time is better spent on other pursuits.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If everyone did that I don’t feel like it would even out I feel like that 20% would just move to like 40_%

[–]IBudgetForIt1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

I'll wait until the struggle isn't so heavily rigged against us. If enough of us go MGTOW, the odds will change to be more in our favor.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

That's being a pussy is what it is.

[–]fdsafdasfdsafds 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Am I also a pussy for not wanting to get married? Stop it.

[–]Jabbermouth2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I respect your choice, but imagine if you were a hunter of sharks. You understood how sharks act, how they behave, you knew how to behave around sharks so that they are harmless to you.

All of a sudden, that pool of sharks is just another pool to you. Whether it is worth the effort to become a hunter of sharks is another question, however.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

They're only sharks when they think you're worth shit. That's the game.

[–]Absalom_Taak0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Those willing to struggle will do so, succeed and pass on our genes. Those who are not will not and will slowly fade away.

[–]IBudgetForIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Passing on ideas, creative works, and accomplish ments is way more important than passing on DNA. My life lives on as others learn from and re-use my life's work.

[–]IBudgetForIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Passing on memes became way more important than passing on genes a long time ago. As MGTOW, I can devote myself to creating and building things that will have a much bigger impact on the future than my DNA ever could:

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean yeah there a lot of shitty things that can happen but I honestly don’t see too much of that in the world I see both good and bad

[–]masculinetruth9990 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Below average women*. 44% of American women are obese in 2019, like 75-80% are actually overweight.

[–]loophole2920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're telling me. I made a new tinder today and 60-75% of profiles are fats. It's a sad state of affairs.

[–]NorthEasternNomad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

God doesn't bleed.

That's TRP in a nutshell. A motto. A fucking MANTRA...said quietly, to oneself, of course.

That's the whole shebang, in one concise sentence.

[–]Sweetune0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is it okay to be like I used to struggle but now I don’t or is it better to just pretended like uve never needed to struggle your whole life?

[–]1PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You never had struggles bro. Everything comes to you easy peesy.

[–]mabden35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, chicks bond with each other by "sharing. " Guys bond with each other by doing shit together. Guys and chicks bond by fucking.

[–]Andgelyo11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Emotions are a feminine trait, that’s why so many females like cold hearted emotionless men. The core of attraction is feminine energy being attracted to masculine energy.

[–]FlenZepla9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Emotions are not a feminine trait, being beholden to and out of control of your emotions is the feminine trait. Show your emotions and share your anxieties with a woman and that’s it for that relationship. But having a few male friends that you know you can talk to and will in turn open up to you is where you go to sort shit out and realize you’re not the only fucked up person in the world.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Show your emotions and share your anxieties with a woman and that’s it for that relationship

I don't think that's true. I think there are certain emotions that make guys more attractive - like anger or desire (while in bed with her).

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should always ask yourself:

-Why do I want to be with this woman Long Term?

-What is she providing that makes you want to stay after the sex gets boring? (Cuddles? Warm meal? Someone to bitch to about your icky boss?)

-What is the most Loyal action you have ever witnessed from her?

There is nothing wrong with LTR's, just be honest about the reasons why you are participating.

[–]nateydanger71 points72 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be on guard for the unguarded moment.

[–]alsuqyadiq34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great reminder, thank you

Funny to see some shit post about listening to some advice from 4 women video and your post above this.

[–]L3onard329 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

If someone thinks their girl wouldn't cheat on them with Tom Brady given the chance...

Doesn’t even take that...Bob from accounting will do depending on how she feels at the moment.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly. It's all about her feelings in the moment. If she needs validation RIGHT NOW, she will fuck almost anybody..and blame you for lack of attention.

[–]Nikelu 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

That's why you should be doing the same

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can be soft to your bros. You can tell them your secrets and fears. Don't show weakness to your women unless you want them to stop liking you.

Make everything appear effortless. Hide your effort.

[–]Whopper_Jr65 points66 points  (13 children) | Copy

Good reminders—go back and read sidebar links and look back at archives, even if you think you’re good. Reason? For the majority of us, this forum is the only strong, masculine, RP interaction we enjoy in our lives. I live in a large, incredibly liberal city—I have a larger-than-average social circle, couple hundred loose acquaintances; and yet, I can count on one hand the number of redpilled/natural alpha men I have met.

A popular mantra is that “you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If all of those people are women and/or BP men, you will begin to backslide. If you step outside of those 5 and the next concentric ring of acquaintances are also women and/or BP men, you will begin to feel isolated ideologically, and you will begin to backslide. It will be incredibly tempting to rejoin the herd.

Luckily for us, the internet exists. Text & podcasts are helpful, video even moreso. You can effectively ‘replace’ your top 5 people with internet personalities as influence surrogates. Before discovering RP, I went through a political/cultural metamorphosis that ended up slowly alienating me from my social circle. Literally knew no one who thought the same way I did, just different flavors on the spectrum between Bernie — Hillary. Very isolating, but I felt more awake, so I continued to dive in.

Off the beaten path is where you discover more and more RP philosophy, and as you begin to apply it to your life, you continue to feel more awake, stronger, more confident. But the herd has a strong magnetic charge, and like gravity, the force it exerts is ceaseless, perpetual. This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle.

Stay strapped.

[–]DoTheTraditions29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Luckily for us, the internet exists. Text & podcasts are helpful, video even moreso. You can effectively ‘replace’ your top 5 people with internet personalities as influence surrogates.

For some reason this reminds me of something Patrice O'Neal's once said that, there is no safe space for misogyny. And he was not referring to anything negative of men. Rather, he was talkin about what goes on in this sub, the locker room talk. And I have to admit recently discovering this sub and the red pill, a lot of the stuff that's posted here is refreshing to read. I think many men long for this type of masculine energy but we are only fed one type of worldview from all around. Further, no man wants to lose his job because of the way he actually thinks about this world and the relations between men and women.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

there is no safe space for misogyny

I know an Arabic guy who loves this kinda talk. Told him how I threw my ex girlfriends electronic car keys into a river for shits and giggles. He was laughing so hard his sides where in stitches. And he always tells me how he slaps his girls on their ass and expects them to serve him and shit. Redpill af guy. I think you have to look outside americans for guys that like misogyny.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Can you recommend anything specific? I understand why opening up to women is a lose-lose situation but at the same time, I still have this idealized vision of a "healthy" relationship where both partners do just that. I still view it as some type of relief. Is it ever okay or beneficial to open up? How can I better understand where the line is? Where else can I get that relief that comes from venting?

[–]TSM_PraY12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it’s less about whether or not you open up to her, and more about how you do so. Crying “why is life so hard, hold me” is very different from “baby, this thing at work happened. It’s not ideal, but I already have an idea that will fix things.”

[–]disciplined9111 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is just an opinion but I think as long as you don't put yourself in a victim mindset and actually do something about the problem, it's more beneficial to let out your emotions. Just make sure to be a man with a plan.

[–]Aestheticcunt19962 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Where else you can get that relief? In the gym.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I see the points made in response to my comment and feel good because I don't really ever vent or complain to women, and realize it's okay to talk about my issues with them but it depends on my mindset and tone whether or not it will hurt me.

I'm still curious though, do you think you get the same type of relief in the gym that you would from actually venting or ranting to someone? I think part of the relief in discussing my issues is that I'm given the sense (whether it's a false sense or not) that someone else understands. For me the gym is a pretty isolating environment and there's only a few guys I interact with there early in the morning, and while it boosts my confidence I don't feel like I work through mental stressors in the gym as effectively as I would just straight up talking to someone. So I'm just curious how you get the same relief from that, what your process is?

[–]TSM_PraY0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If it’s absolutely necessary for your mental health, by all means, let out your emotions to her. Just realize that you WILL lose frame, and she will start to look at you differently. In fact she will slowly start to resent you, if this becomes a common occurrence. It’s not a big deal for one time though. You can always re-establish frame. But I highly encourage you to open up to a male friend or mentor instead. They will support you in the ways she is incapable of doing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess the importance lies in "letting your emotions out" and "letting her peer into the process of how you handle your emotions." I think someone said it in this thread, how if you're going to go to your girl with some emotional problem you better already have it partly worked out, so you're not just venting to her. On that premise, do you think it's possible to discuss your emotions with a woman in such a way that adds to your frame?

[–]MasculineDevelopment31 points32 points  (2 children) | Copy

Things to never "backslide" on:

  1. Lifting Weights
  2. Making More Money
  3. Self-Improvement

That's about it. Everything else will fall into place if you get those three, especially the last one.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also sleep. Been guilty for the past year.

[–]MasculineDevelopment6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Waking up early helps a lot.

[–]Lateralanouncer14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nice simple post. My father taught me if your not going forwards your going backwards. Or as you would put it. “backsliding” I nice simple way to remind ourselves to keep going forward.

[–]RightHandWolf9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sharks have to keep swimming constantly in order to force enough water through their gills to meet their cellular oxygen requirements. Stop swimming and the shark dies of anoxia. Don't settle for just being a big fish in a pond; be a Carcharodon Carcharias - be a Great White Shark.

[–]Wingflier9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

+1 for acknowledging the problem with the religious ideological framework this idea of "backsliding" comes from.

You could the most perfect Christian life possible and it would still never be good enough because to live sinlessly by Biblical standards is impossible (and freely admits as such). At least in TRP our standards are realistic. You can and should be proud of your achievements.

[–]hunter05147 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

But that’s what’s so great. No matter how many times we sin if we accept the free gift of Christ and trust in Him then we will be saved.

[–]Wingflier8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's not great at all. The Bible defines what sin is, and authors intentionally make it so that it's impossible to meet the criteria. David makes this abundantly clear is Psalms: Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me. (51:5)

In other words, it's created a disease with no cure, except an alleged cure which is conveniently in the afterlife making it extremely improbable and impossible to verify.

Creating a disease by defining behaviors that are impossible to avoid and proclaiming that everyone has the disease of sin from birth, then offering an imaginary cure in the next life, is about as far from a "gift" as it can possibly get. What it does is create massive psychological and emotional harm to many of its adherents.

One could easily drop the definition of sin or define it differently in such a way that it's an attainable form of behavior (do not intentionally cause unnecessary harm to yourself or others, leave the world a better place than you found it, etc.), but doing so would erase the entire need for Christianity in the first place, making it a pointless religion. It relies on sin being defined in a way that creates a disease. That's not what TRP should be about. Our goals should be achievable and we don't need to rely on pie in the sky.

[–]MatrixofLe3adership2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There aren't many textbook alphas that are also actively Catholic, perhaps none. 'Sell the disease, invent the cure,' unattainable religious ideals, and my intractable authority problems are what trouble me the most. However, I don't think the red pill and Catholicism are mutually-exclusive, although it'll take a highly talented and unique individual to pull this off. I've found both to be crucial to my happiness.

[–]hunter05140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t think you understand. God is perfect and without sin. Adam and Eve sinned which means that every person to come after them are sinners. God cannot be in the presence of sin so we are all doomed to eternal death in Hell. But God wants to be with us so He send His son, Jesus of Nazareth to live on earth as a man. Jesus never sinned in His whole life despite going through all the temptation and struggle we do. Then He died a sinners death which He didn’t deserve. Three days later He rose from the grave and defeated death so that all those who believe in Him will have everlasting life with Him in paradise.

The cure for sin isn’t in the afterlife. At the moment you accept Jesus you are reborn with a new heart. A heart meant to live forever. You can feel the effects. You can feel the Holy Spirit working inside you and guiding you. Salvation isn’t in the afterlife.

Jesus wants only for us to be saved and live with Him. I urge you to read the Bible more and see for yourself how good and kind and merciful He truly is.

[–]steven5656564 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The real problem is it's obviously made up bullshit to anyone with half a brain.

[–]Howdoiusesync20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've worked with female rappers and they shit test you so well it's amazing.

Holding frame makes them like you more, since most of that industry and the one i'm in is about guys pretending to be something they are not.

Recently watched Gone Girl, and yes with great power in a woman (Social influence) they can and will try to destroy the man who they were pretending to be.

Backsliding is never the option.

Curious to know what you think about guys who do backslide and why?

[–]BurnoTaurus26 points27 points  (6 children) | Copy

You can absolutely tell a woman all your secrets after you fuck her. Just ask yourself to what ends? Are you trying to endear yourself to her? make yourself seem special? Force her sympathy? Good luck

A man who has a handle on his issues can talk freely about them in a way that empowers the listener. They feel like a passenger on his journey struggling against adversity. A man who cowers in the face of his issues and seeks solace in whining about them to others...

"This post does not intend to have any insight"

Bullshit. Absolutely. This post intends to give insight to the concept of backsliding, flying too close to the sun, getting cocky, letting your guard down. What I have to ask is what is your guard up for? What are you protecting? Your ego? Your pride?

[–]H0tTamal34 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What I have to ask is what is your guard up for? What are you protecting? Your ego? Your pride?

I can't speak for the OP. For guys like me who have had a BP mindset for decades and have listened to all of the romcom bs and lovey dovey songs through the years come from a mindset where spilling your emotions, fears and weaknesses is supposed to make her love you more.

For guys like me who are trying to improve ourselves into stone cold, goal achieving Chads, it is important to keep TRP in the front of your mind. It is easy to have some success after swallowing the pill then finding yourself with a girl(s) that adore you and think you are the best thing that has ever been in their life. This can bring out weakness in us and it can be almost natural to just slide back into beta behaviors.

With a girl who is higher value than any woman from your BP days it is easy to get feelings of oneitis and start to think that she is different, without even consciously thinking about it. Then the comfort of having your oneitis adore you and ask you to open up to her more can cause men to veer off the path they had set of becoming said stone cold, goal achieving Chad. This is why it is important to always keep your guard up.

Not necessarily to keep your guard up against your girl(s), but keeping your guard up against the little beta bitch that craves comfort and is insidiously waiting for his chance to come back into your now amazing life. I imagine that men who discovered TRP very young and men who fully swallowed the pill years ago this is not as much of an issue. To guys like me who aren't on Chad autopilot, we can't believe it is ever safe to let that little fagot beta peek his scrawny little face out.

[–]THE_EVIL_EYE_IS_REAL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats exactly what it is. We're guarding our red pill gag reflex, so we dont vomit the pill back up.

[–]BurnoTaurus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Believing you have a little faggot deep inside you that you constantly have to watch out for is RedPill. excellent.

[–]Screenwatch231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

protecting? dude were just tryna bang for a hot minute

[–]BurnoTaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

nobody is ever "just" anything

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A man who has a handle on his issues can talk freely about them in a way that empowers the listener. They feel like a passenger on his journey struggling against adversity. A man who cowers in the face of his issues and seeks solace in whining about them to others...

Telling a girl how you had adversity - your father died and u had to step up to become the man and how you guided ur little bro to a life of crime and how you got into surgery despite being poor and having to do shady shit but overcame your adversity "and here you are"- usually endears you to a woman.

[–]EliteAlmondMilk8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Christians get a lot of things wrong" understatement of the fucking year.

[–]l4w_z0ne12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Girls in europe don't even know Tom Brady, ha gottem!

[–]bigkids9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

They ALL know Cristiano Ronaldo tho’

[–]MeansToABenz2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What about backsliding if you are focusing on your career? I guess though that essentially this is not backsliding as you are increasing your SMV.

[–]Glassland0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but don't use this as an excuse/coping mechanism to become lazy with socializing and women and the other important things in life.

[–]afterthe_fapocalypse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Backsliding ... Reminds me of 'edging' in the NOFAP forums. It's lying.

Thanks for the qui vive. I was just watching some bullshit by Kezia Noble last night. Even if she says something true, it's just so fucking hard to listen to her go on and on and on. I really don't think anyone watches those videos to listen though.

[–]redmaxz1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So true. For me especially since I seem to learn things only the hard way. After trp I got so much more success with girls and one in particular that I consider above my looks got me into oneitis stage and who would have thought I went big beta on her. Cut contact with her a month ago and now I'm on the right track again. I backslid.

[–]underd0g- 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

That's normal bro I'm the same way.

Same thing happened to me. After falling oneitis for a girl last year, I started to take TRP more serious. I spent the last year and a half internalizing this shit. Met a beautiful babe last month, only to find myself backsliding into blue pill bullshit.. even after countless hours spent learning RP material.

It's difficult if blue pill mentality has been ingrained in you since you were younger. However, moral of the story, life is all about ups and downs, failures and success. As long as we learn where we went wrong, we can use it as a point of reference for the next time where to not fuck up. This shit is never easy but we need to discipline ourselves. Our time will come.

[–]redmaxz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For sure. 20+ years of being raised by a single mom and blue pill conditioning dont just vanish overnight. But I'm lucky I found trp relatively early. Gotta keep working hard.

[–]NobodyP11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got to not tell my secrets to women after I’ve slept with them...

Thanks for the post!

[–]Diddlydangerous1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think TRP definitely forces you to clean up your life to the point that you're not hemorrhaging negative emotions as a result of your life choices... a major, major benefit when no one else in the world is really holding you accountable for that.

But assuming you've come to grips with that and don't have crippling depression anymore vulnerability is a key to bonding... if you don't do that in healthy moderation you won't have a strong bond with your woman... then you'll kind of have an imbalance there.

[–]DCallin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're missing the point.
'Bonding' with women is not something we should encourage, and definitely not treat lightly, because it's dangerous. It HAS led to men being killed, jailed without cause, losing jobs and homes, and being ostracized through no fault of their own.
Mgtow CAN and SHOULD include excluding women from all facets of one's life, if possible, and even taking them down before they can do the same to us. They're not our equals in any way, we should never forget that, or let them forget that.

[–]Olram_Sacul1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, be careful with what you tell to your friends too

[–]masculinetruth9991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The #1 thing that helped me in my relationship with my current GF is to never open up submissively or passively. Communicate, but never open up. Imagine if your own dad told you his weaknesses he had inside or cried in front of you. It's super awkward. He's the one whose supposed to be in control or at least levelheaded. Show that you have a plan, even for devastating emotions. But really, you shouldn't even tell your GF if your grandma died. Mine died and she never found out.

More important, never just open up and tell her a problem you have. Be angry about a problem, that's fine. Yell, scream. But never sit there and depend on another person to hear you out. It puts control in their hands. And once you do that once, it changes the dynamic of the relationship.

For over a million years, women were regarded as animals and property, by good men, bad men, rich men, and poor men. In recent times, we are coming full circle back to realizing that they are. Studies have shown that no matter if a guy is a famous disease curing scientist or the most selfless helper of the poor to walk the earth, a fertile female is going to still date a broke 6'2 felon instead.

Women. No famous inventions, no famous competitors, their best authors make childrens books and sex books, they just can't perform on the same level a male can. They were regarded as property for over a million years. Every single civilization came to the same conclusion, without contact. That should tell you something.

I don't hate women, I don't hate my gf. In fact I love them, for what they are. They are animals designed to constantly measure the worth and genetic viability of males, just like every single other animal species on earth. But a girl seeking power will never be happy, because for over a million years they have been genetically designed and bred to be submissive. When you give a submissive person power, they will either waste it or abuse it until someone more dominant puts them in their place. This is why drunk chicks get so loud, they are flexing power (which btw would get them killed during primal times), and waiting for some 6'2 guy with a wifebeater to tell them to shut up, and she'll go home with him.

[–]TemplesOfSyrinx-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

"Christians get a lot of things wrong."

They sure do. I really think Christianity (really, religion in general) is another type of blue pill. Religious people feel comfortable in their faithful, religious slumber and would rather not swallow the red pill and face the fact that there is no god or gods.

[–]richardbransonbutnot 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not christian, but dude you don't know christianity if you think it's blue pill. It's definitely the softest of all the abrahamic religions, but it's still a difficult life path to follow if you REALLY try to follow.

[–]TemplesOfSyrinx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed (have an upvote!). But, I think the red pill aspects in following a religious path - stoicism, restraint, meditation, relentless focus - are qualities that anyone can benefit from without actually being religious.

To be sure, I think anyone can benefit from red pill philosophy, regardless of religion or lack of. But, I'll stick to my guns here and say that people who hang on to religious ideology are blinding themselves to an underlying truth in a way that parallels the red pill philosophy that is normally discussed in this subreddit.

[–]EdmondDaunts2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s a shit test. Religion contains wisdom just expressed with flying spagetti monsters. You take the wisdom but leave the monster.

Things like “give to Caesar what is Caesar ‘s. Give to God what is God” is still good advice.

[–]alxjones0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

i could get on with everything you said up until the last statement. i mean this politely, but look around. this seem random to you?

[–]TemplesOfSyrinx-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can keep swallowing the blue pill or you can face the truth and be free. Your choice.

[–]Satou40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Each day we stray farther from God.

[–]mheyk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never let your guard down to anyone. Never share a secret. never share or show your weakness.
Great Post for a reminder.

[–]paradox3680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dope post man! Especially the Objectively you are the worse than you started

[–]ZoroasterFlame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The media creates fictions designed to divide us, on the basis of data mining, and you're falling for it.

[–]3SKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That post on the betaization process needs to be here.

Men think that getting married is the beginning and orgasm is the climax. For a woman securing your commitment is the climax. Marriage is essentially post climatic for women.

But only if you let it slide.

[–]fugued0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great point. Last GF was awesome but used stuff I revealed early in our relationship (during my BP-RP transition) as a weapon later. Her jealousy broke us up.

Current GF is awesome too but in a more confident manner. She rarely questions me, doesn't probe or bait me into revealing much. So I control the info flow and dole out an occasional "reveal" so she learns more about me - on my terms.

[–]ReUptheReUp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In other words: always keep your pimp hand strong, never slip, stay sharp, remain consistently consistent, never waver...

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Generally the right thing to do is obvious once you grasp trp, I've found that the more I think about something the easier it is to rationalise myself into some 'backsliding' behaviour.


[–]notadaddy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lifting heavy shit and waking up angry cuz it’s leg day has helped me get a bit harder after years of backsliding.

[–]RompeChocha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The moment you share a secret with your girl, thats the moment you've fucked up. Female rappers are starting to make fun of guys who tell all their secrets to her after they fuck. At the time, she might have fake sympathy, but they're drying her up.

Bro, the reverse thing happens to me. Usually after i fuck a chick, even if it's the first time, they open up and tell me a bunch of secrets. A reason why I think you see in a lot of movies agents sleeping with people to get info (See: James Bond), because it's based on what really happens in the world.

[–]IndianWise-5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lol my girlfriend definitely wouldn’t cheat on me with Tom Brady, he’s like twice her age lmao

[–]relativistic_monkey4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Are you trolling? Of course she would. I am his age, and I am NOT incredibly wealthy and I am NOT an NFL superstar, yet I have landed girls "half my age". Don't kid yourself.

[–]IndianWise0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, guess I should just lock her in her room then so that she doesn’t cheat on me 🤷🏾‍♂️😂

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