Slut shaming: is TRP only the tip of the iceberg?

ProtoPill · 2015-10-08T16:33:28+00:00

It's absolutely justified. Women have zero right to complain about men preferring less promiscuous women for relationships. Women who complain about this sound even more pathetic than short men who complain that women want tall men for relationships.

DietCokeImOnMyKnees · 2015-10-08T16:07:53+00:00

A lot of it is rationalisation of feels.
The feels of course come from our evolutionary drivers. That doesn't mean the arguments are not true, but people will certainly be biased towards justifying their powerful emotional responses.

super-commenting · 2015-10-08T18:43:21+00:00

Preferences aren't really the kind of thing that need to be justified. If I wanted to say that promiscuity is morally wrong or means that someone is a bad person that would need a justification. But if I just want to say that a promiscuous history makes someone less attractive to me that doesn't need any justification. I'm allowed to be attracted to whatever I want.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-10-08T16:43:21+00:00

Don't shame them; fuck them, but don't ever LTR them.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-10-08T16:40:40+00:00

What I've noticed women with the highest partner counts have the most complaints about dating an men. Why? I don't know but its something I noticed. I'd like to hear a few theories.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-10-08T19:18:06+00:00

I actually like sluts. Hell, I prefer them, as long as they're not too crazy. Even better if they don't conflate sex and commitment, although those are rare.

But then I think sex isn't special and I am not interested in LTRs.

thereddespair · 2015-10-08T20:02:34+00:00

its understandable for men to want it. but women try to vilify it coz they want to fuck like sluts but also have a LTR when theyre done doing it.

why some men support slut life in women, i wonder, it looks more complicated.

i can imagine some might think it is easier for them to score a fuck on a woman who engages multiple men casually vs a woman who requires commitment from you, and all its costs, before giving it?

when all you need is to turn a woman on to fuck her and society thinks its ok vs a woman who wants you to take her to this much dinners, that much movies, this much bullshit and commitment and love and all for the first fuck? men can gain too from the lowered standards...

short sighted though. its easier to get, but its value? also goes down

TheGreasyPole · 2015-10-08T17:08:36+00:00

Yes and yes.

It is common as it is a trait that has been evolutionarily selected for. As a consequence of this selection "promiscuity is a mild attractor in a short term mate as it signals availability, but a much more seriously unattractive trait in a long term partner because it signals risk of cuckoldry". To put it as a scientist would.

We say the same thing as "Sluts are awesome for fucking around with, but you wouldn't want to wife one".

The fact it is a common preference for males ALSO shows that it is justified. Because if it were not useful in preventing some bad thing for male genes it would not have spread to be so prevalent.

The scientific backing for this episode was briught you by the letter "Q" and the number "5".... Oh, and this link...

http://www.bradley.edu/dotAsset/165805.pdf

Relevant table is page 10. Discussion of the theory is pages 8-10.

... Can you show me how to get, how to get to sesame streeeeeet....

TheChemist158 · 2015-10-08T21:09:53+00:00

I think that a lot of the more factual statements (e.g., she'll be more likely to cheat) are often unfounded. But a guy can choose to date or not date whoever he wants. You don't need to justify it beyond "I don't want to".

That said, I am very much put off by man sluts, and would most likely leave a guy for it. It says everything I need to know about his values and outlook on sex. Plus, he's pretty gross. So naturally I don't have much complaint about men not wanting to date slutty women per se, but will sometimes call out bad logic if present.

[deleted] · 2015-10-08T16:57:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2015-10-08T17:03:06+00:00

Numbers 2, 3 and 4 apply just as much to men as they do women. As for number 1, that isn't going to change due to biology and patriarchical control of women's sexuality going away. Men who can't get over 1 will just have to suffer, I guess. As for 2 through 4, men should practice what they preach if they want to have any right to complain.

taiboworks · 2015-10-08T15:52:39+00:00

i don't think most males or females want someone that uses sex like a narcotic and can't maintain long term relationships. addicts, shifty people of either gender don't make good partners (except maybe to other addicts, shifty people).

goatismycopilot · 2015-10-08T17:02:46+00:00

Everybody has their own standards and preferences with the issue of partner count. The problem that I have noticed from lurking and commenting on the relationship sub is that issues come up when one partner, usually the woman has a higher count that the man. There was one thread this week where the couple had already been dating four years, had some honesty moment and it changed the whole relationship dynamic.The irony was the man had prior to this claimed to be "sex positive" which the woman thought meant he would be less judgey about the number. Seems to me if you are going to have that conversation might be better before sexy times started.

The next issue is everybody has the shifting sands approach to partner count, so for one person X is a high number and for another person Y is a high number. I am more concerned about an admitted history of cheating, that would turn me off wanting to get further into the relationship. Having said that a man who admitted to being a player past or currently might also turn me off. Since I am not excited about dating a dude who has had that kind of approach to life, I can understand why men might have some hesitation.

wombatinaburrow · 2015-10-09T04:28:39+00:00

Female promiscuity is easy? Lol. The most dangerous thing a woman can do is take a romantic partner.

throwinout · 2015-10-08T22:49:59+00:00

The problem with TRP is that people there say that promiscuous women should actually be SHAMED because they're promiscuous (I'm looking at you Aerobus and CWM)

bromance946 · 2015-10-08T16:59:14+00:00

If you why ask men have a certain preference then of course you're going to get a lot of answers justifying it. One could, however, make the opposite arguments.

Female promiscuity helps men get laid, male promiscuity prevents other men from getting laid
Promiscuous women were desired by many men and thus are desirable. Pre-selection.
Men want to be a good lay compared to other men. The higher her count, the more the fact that she's with him now speaks to this.
Promiscuity is a reflection of values. Higher partner count = someone not afraid to go after what she wants

And:

Promiscuity means experience, which makes her better in bed.

See, you can come up with arguments and rationalizations all day.

The bottom line is that men are taught that we're supposed to have a sense of ownership over women, and this is where the uncomfortableness with promiscuous women really comes from. The ownership requirement made sense in the past, but not so much today, especially if paternity tests become more accepted.

[deleted] · 2015-10-09T11:39:14+00:00

Promiscuous men suck even more than promiscuous women.

Refer to my thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3o37i4/who_says_studs_are_better_than_sluts/

I don't give a fuck about a man's bedroom performance. If he has a penis and he can use it and we like each other I don't care. Sex is not something that people need to be skilled at. Even animals can do it. Sexual intercourse is not an art form like people pretend it is. It's like eating or breathing or sleeping.

Also, promiscuous men are usually just arrogant assholes. Thus why male promiscuity is hard. A guy has to be 'confident and charming' to get with loads of women and he has to be self absorbed and in love with himself. Women with a high partner count are just insecure, sad and pathetic. I can really forgive people who are insecure, sad and pathetic. I can't forgive people who truly have a god complex. Men never have sex with a tonne of women because they are insecure and lacking in confidence and are pathetic and lonely and need validation. I genuinely feel sorry for people who are hurting in any way. Chad Thundercock usually loves himself to death.

Title	Slut shaming: is TRP only the tip of the iceberg?
Author	betterdeadthanbeta
Upvotes	9
Comments	144
Date	October 8, 2015 3:48 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3nzghr/slut_shaming_is_trp_only_the_tip_of_the_iceberg/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/slut-shaming-is-trp-only-the-tip-of-the-iceberg.279191 https://theredarchive.com/post/279191

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