Women: would you rather meet the perfect guy you fall in love with at the age of 21 or meet him at 26, but spend 21-26 with flings?

GridReXX · 2015-08-20T11:13:34+00:00

If he's as perfect as you say then I would have dated him at 21 and if that led to marriage, so be it.

Though we would not haven been married until 25-27. I would have wanted a thorough dating process at that age.

Only middle aged people get married under a year.

TheChemist158 · 2015-08-20T03:10:17+00:00

Meet him at 21 (I actually already did at 20). I don't like flings or casual sex. I wouldn't marry Mr. Perfect for a bit though.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T04:10:30+00:00

Strange! Cock! Strange! Cock! Strange! Cock!

sofcknwrong · 2015-08-20T06:27:55+00:00

Carousel all the way baby. 26 is plenty young enough to 'settle down'.

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-08-20T06:31:00+00:00

26, for sure. 21 year old me would've just ruined everything =/.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T02:45:47+00:00

ianturpiesmoustache · 2015-08-20T03:42:50+00:00

Flings until 26. Hands down.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T03:01:40+00:00

21 it's better to focus your time and energy on one person instead of fucking strange men for 5 years

wombatinaburrow · 2015-08-20T04:18:37+00:00

I married at 22. He's not perfect, but neither am I. We were both lucky to find the right person at the right time.

Wasting your 20s going from fling to fling, looking for live or sexual chemistry seems like those annoying Atari games where you have to go back to the start when you fall off a turtle or something.

madscientistlove · 2015-08-20T18:46:37+00:00

Meet the perfect man who you fall in love with at 21

Well, this did happen to me, but I had plenty of lovers, relationships, and flings before then (poly is good for that). I fell in love with several wonderful people and had experiences that shaped me as a person. I would take none of it back.

Edit: for clarity, I've been with my partner for almost four years now, and we're in it for the long haul.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T05:02:01+00:00

Defintely 21...Which is when I started dating my husband! Wouldn't trade our early days together for anything!

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T03:36:23+00:00

Have flings until 26, but meet that same man at the age of 26.

This. Definitely.

blackbeltnerd · 2015-08-20T04:28:45+00:00

flings until 26. that way when i'm 46 and tied down i'm not thinking, "damn, i've been with this guy since i was 21 and i never got a chance to see what else is out there"

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T03:53:43+00:00

I'm 21 right now and currently searching for the perfect match. If he showed up tomorrow and wanted to go steady I would jump on that opportunity in a heartbeat. I've had my fill of flings in the last few years, and I've found that sex with someone I'm emotionally invested in is much more enjoyable.

MissPearl · 2015-08-20T10:41:19+00:00

Hey, if he's literally perfect, let's get this over with ASAP.

freebumblebee · 2015-08-20T14:30:00+00:00

I'm not a fling person, but if you replace "flings" with "relationships," I'm actually glad that the man I'm going to marry was not my first relationship. I learned a lot, matured a lot, got a much better handle on what I wanted, what I needed, what I could stand and what I couldn't, out of my first (admittedly not great) relationship. As a result, my guy got a more confident, secure, mature, patient, attractive woman who is also better at most adult and relationship things. So I guess either--but it's probably good to have more than one relationship in a life. For me personally, at least.

RobotPartsCorp · 2015-08-20T17:14:54+00:00

I feel like I didn't really know who I was until 26. 21 is just so young. And if the perfect man was also 21? Chances are he was still coming into his own as well. We would have a healthier relationship if we get together later in life.

SpaceWhiskey · 2015-08-20T04:34:18+00:00

Def 26. The brain isn't done developing at 21, the more life experience the better. Not even for flings, just finishing growing up and all.

cxj · 2015-08-20T05:33:56+00:00

As a male, in all honesty I'd rather have met miss right at 21 and called it a life. Unfortunately, I was an emotional wreck at that age and would have blown it. Even more unfortunately, not much has improved :, ( #sadlove

diimentio · 2015-08-20T04:02:24+00:00

21 for sure, never liked the casual hookup scene.

OfSpock · 2015-08-20T04:06:27+00:00

21, which is close to what I did (I was 22).

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T11:04:22+00:00

21! Dating comes with a lot of bullshit.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T12:27:00+00:00

Well I met my now SO when I was 22, but was too stupid to realise he actually thought of me as GF material. I just figured that no one would really want to date me at that age. I had so many issues I practically had a subscription. I imagine anyone trying to be in a relationship with me at that age would have found it incredibly exhausting because I would have needed a LOT of reassurance and validation.

During the rest of my twenties I learnt to love myself. So when my SO and I met up later when I was 32 and his marriage (he did not pine over me and instead moved on and got married) was over, we actually had a chance to create the awesome relationship we have now.

I think the few short-term relationships and the casual flings were a part of creating who I am now, but just a part.

[deleted] · 2015-08-20T13:02:42+00:00

I was already in 3 of 5 yr LTR when I was 21. So I would have preferred to meet this perfect guy at 17.

Rowboat14 · 2015-08-20T13:53:22+00:00

Of course 21. Your prime child bearing years are 18-26. Why waste them with flings when you can be starting your family?

super-commenting · 2015-08-20T14:01:18+00:00

I would not be happy with the second option being my girl, I've never been into the Tinder culture myself and never will, but it is important I am both the fun, exciting one as well as being the mature, long-term one.

cats_or_get_out · 2015-08-20T21:51:31+00:00

21 definitely. I started dating my husband when I was 21. (We've been married 13 years.)

snbdmliss · 2015-08-21T22:55:55+00:00

I would definitely choose the 21 option. No question.

I really dislike dating, and have zero interest in flings, and never have. I only want one great man to build a wonderful life with, that's it. When I was younger it was even my goal to be a virgin until marriage; a pretty unrealistic goal now I guess based on the way the dating market and men are these days. That didn't happen for various reasons, which pretty much amounted to how devious some men are, and what great distances and despicable tactics they will go to in order to get what they want. Lessons learned the hard way.

I would say though that there is a decent amount of learning/self-learning that dating brings with it, but a solid relationship brings soooo much more in basically every aspect of life. I was a fairly naive virgin when I was 21 (until I was 23 actually, wow, just ran the dates in my head and surprised myself), I got some good knowledge in there through life in general, but at the end of the day, I just want to be with my "perfect match" as you call it for the rest of my life.

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chickenoverrice · 2015-08-20T05:11:23+00:00

Latter. I wasn't particularly a mature person when I was 21. If I had not dated around (is fling strictly casual sex or dating in general?) I wouldn't have made the mistakes that I learned from and would go through the mistakes with "the love of my life" be it at age 21, 26, 32, 45 or whatever.

lxnarratorxl · 2015-08-20T05:36:32+00:00

I don't care about flings or about relationships .

exit_sandman · 2015-08-20T11:48:51+00:00

If a woman is smart, she's doesn't have flings, but dates seriously, and ideally is in such a serious relationship with the guy she'll stick to by her mid 20s (regardless of whether she met him recently or already did years before). That way, they have time to vet each other before tying the knot and having children (because even though we assume for the sake of the argument that they're indeed a good match, if they're in a new relationship they don't know that yet).

The idea that 30 is the new 20 and that you can still have kids then is toxic because it blindsights women into believing they still have time even though in reality, things have already gone downhill for them physically for a few years by then. A woman who thinks "let's get real" on her 30th birthday and starts looking for Mr. Right at that point is bound to become exactly that sort of desperate woman not too few guys would rather avoid.

Title	Women: would you rather meet the perfect guy you fall in love with at the age of 21 or meet him at 26, but spend 21-26 with flings?
Author	pakleader
Upvotes	8
Comments	88
Date	August 20, 2015 2:43 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3ho4s4/women_would_you_rather_meet_the_perfect_guy_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-would-you-rather-meet-the-perfect-guy-you.280204 https://theredarchive.com/post/280204

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