What would you tell an Omega Male?

Carkudo · 2015-02-27T19:14:05+00:00

As an omega male, I kinda want to point out that not all of us are unkempt socially retarded neckbeards with no life besides superhero comics and anime. I think it's actually a pretty shitty view to have - it trivializes the complex issue of sexual attractiveness and sexual market value. The way to stop being an omega is not always as simple as hitting the gym, shaving and getting new hobbies.

relationshipdownvote · 2015-02-27T18:57:01+00:00

I imagine BP and RP responses will be about the same, "eat better, work out, shower regularly, shave and dress better" would increase his SMV several times over. The finer points of TRP aren't really relevant until he has that baseline established anyways.

sh1v · 2015-02-27T19:55:32+00:00

Thing about most omegas, most of them get the way they are because they learn to repress certain parts of themselves - their aggression, their need to conquer and dominate, their hatred (the healthiest human urge there is) and competitiveness, their arrogance and contempt for others, etc, etc.

However, having stuffed all that down for years results in this highly useful stockpile of barely suppressed nerd rage. TRP essentially games them, taps into that rage and directs it into useful activity via some typical mass psychology techniques (mobilize against external foe, us vs them, get you pumped on a mix of anger and fear, play to his perversions). A man will eventually grow out of this anger phase, but by then he's already learned self discipline and how to actually use the masculinity god gave him.

So, what do you tell an omega? Whatever gets him good and mad -- and motivated. Just tell him the truth about what women are constantly thinking about him but none bother to say to his face. That's generally enough to flip the switch, if he doesn't shut you down and hamster it away.

wombatinaburrow · 2015-02-28T01:27:15+00:00

A man I used to work with was an "omega male"; shy, anxious, cerebral palsy, obsession with RPGs and collecting figurines. We all (the girls in the office) dragged him out to the hairdresser, clothes shopping, and then sent him on a blind double date with a fellow RPG nut and role played social situations with him beforehand. They're now together with two RPG loving kids, lol. Their house has a D&D room.

sh1v · 2015-02-27T20:18:18+00:00

Maybe next incarnation buddy.

buartha · 2015-02-27T19:00:28+00:00

Assuming he's a generally nice person who just has issues with socializing and with the physical issues you've mentioned above:

Wash more. Shave (styled facial hair can come back later, but gotta go cold turkey to break the neckbeard habit.) Talk to someone who knows how to dress to improve wardrobe, or look online and get advice there on how to dress. Exercise. Exercise.

Engage in more activities where he's likely to meet the opposite sex once a basic level of hygiene and presentation has been established (bars, classes so he can learn some skills, and, if he wants to stay nerdy, LARPing. It's got a far higher number of women than tabletop roleplaying, and it's apparently a great way to get fit.) Go to bars with friends (or, if he doesn't have any, assuming I like him he can pal along with my friends for a night or two) and watch the way they talk with women to see what works and what doesn't; when he's more comfortable, try it himself, maybe get rejected a few times so he realises it's not terrible, so that when he meets a girl he actually likes, being potentially turned down won't seem so horrible a prospect (online dating can also be good for inuring yourself to rejection.)

If he has really bad social issues that extend beyond mere inexperience, maybe consider seeing a therapist (I know they get a bad rap on reddit for some reason, but for that sort of thing they can be really helpful.)

Weirdly and semi-relatedly though, the only morbidly obese brony I know is in a poly relationship with 2 women, and they seem happy. Some people just defy your expectations.

gregariousnefarious · 2015-02-27T19:06:32+00:00

Shower, shave, get some new clothes and if you can't pull of style, go uber-basic. Get a realistic exercise program going. The LARPing suggestion is probably a good one too...I am fairly sure I would not be able to delve into how his set up to the conversation was problematic, because you can't tell people to their faces that they are only assuming that women are good for one thing (sexual relationships), but that is probably one of his biggest hurdles after the basics (dress, hygiene, exercise, and such).

[deleted] · 2015-02-27T20:03:17+00:00

he needs to put himself out there. start approaching women, dress smart. also find something hes passionate about and a plan for the future. women love men with a plan of where theyre going to be.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-02-27T21:19:31+00:00

Just be yourself.

cxj · 2015-02-27T23:35:40+00:00

Fuck, IDK man, this is really really hard IRL. WAYYYYY harder than it seems theoretically. When you are actually confronted with dudes like this you are like oh shit, its the real deal.

dragonbornrises · 2015-02-27T19:26:23+00:00

Step one, if you see yourself as an "omega" male and identify as such for whatever reason, change your shitty attitude, because it reeks of self pity.

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2015-02-27T21:07:50+00:00

Obviously he needs to start by bathing, shaving, and getting some new clothes. He should start working out immediately. All of this is sort of obviious.

Some specific things I would advise him to do after he took care of the immediately remidiable shit:

Start talking to one girl a day. Doesn't matter how it goes, what you say, or if she even repsonds. Make a habit of this and do it every day. Try different openers: compliment an article of clothing, comment on the weather, comment on some situational thing like a car accident or big crowd. When 1 a day becomes easy, up the challenge to 5 a day. When that is easy, up it to 20. When that is easy, start focusing on maintaining conversations for 30 seconds. Then try for a minute. Then try for five minutes.
Stand in front of a mirror. Adjust your posture until you stand up straight and are symetrical. Practice adopting this posture all of the time. Literally 100% of the time.
Get more comfortable with eye contact. Start by forcing yourself to look into someones eyes for one second at a time when it is your turn to speak. Once that is easy, try to look into someones eyes while they're speaking to you. You can start by looking into their eyes for a second or two, averting your gaze, then looking back into their eyes again. Work yourself up so that you maintain eye contact whenever you are speaking to someone or they are speaking to you.
Find something you like that is a social activity and also involves women. Try a bunch of shit out if you have to. My top choices would be dance classes, yoga, or community service. It can even be Anime Club or whatever if there are girls there and it is a social event that gathers regularly.

Essentially, they need to start a self regulated regimen of exposure therapy and expand their social circle.

Whisper · 2015-03-01T23:17:13+00:00

The problem with this question is that the biggest problem that Omegas have is not all the obstacles between them and attractiveness.

It's their refusal to ask this question. I can tell a guy how to to help himself. But he will only reset me for it unless and until he admits to himself that he needs help, and asks someone for that help.

You see, I know a guy like this. Let's call him "Nathan", so we don't have to use his real name. We're not friends, but since we have a friend or two in common, I occasionally find myself in the same room with him.

The thing about Nathan is that each of his problems is compounded by his refusal to admit that it is a problem. He instead, in every case, chooses to comfort himself by taking refuge in the SJW excuse that it is other peoples' fault, usually for their lack of tolerance.

I think his problem is that he weighs 300+ pounds. He thinks that his problem is fat-shaming.
I think his problem is that he is unemployed and on the public dole. He thinks that his problem is that people aren't sympathetic to his fake-ass disability.
I think that his problem is that he watches "my little pony" and is over the age of six. He thinks his problem is outdated standards of masculinity.
I think his problem is that he tries to please women by championing feminism, which they see right through for the thirsty supplication that it is. He thinks his problem is that steroidal asshole brosephs like me have given all the women Stockholm Syndrome and made them unable to appreciate him.
I think his problem is that he is a giant pussy. He thinks his problem is that it is unfair to expect men to be tough and courageous.

You see, everything I think is his problem is fixable, at least to some degree. But not without his buy-in to the idea that they are problems. I cannot save him from himself.

So your question is unimportant. Because the difficulty of the problem, "How could Nathan fix himself?" is miniscule compared to the problem of "How can Nathan admit to himself that he needs fixing?".

MamaTR · 2015-02-27T20:24:24+00:00

While I agree with most of the suggestions here about improving hygene, appearance and whatnot. Find a women that enjoys the same things as you. If you like gaming, find a gamer girl. If you like comics, go to cons and find a girl that is enjoying your hobbies. Make friends with girls without the intention of being in a romantic relationship with them in order to build confidence with talking to women as well as building understanding and empathy.

[deleted] · 2015-02-27T18:57:51+00:00

I know that red pill's emphasis on lifting weights seems comical to many, but yeah, that's where I'd start.

By taking him to the gym. (Instead of telling him to go to the gym)

[deleted] · 2015-02-27T19:29:14+00:00

You need to walk before you can run. He needs to get the basics of being an adult down first, like showering, dressing yourself well, eating better, grooming yourself, etc.

TheChemist158 · 2015-02-27T19:49:34+00:00

First of all, I wouldn't define "omega male" with superficial things like plays Magic or D&D. I know people that play those games that are social and well adjusted. I when I think of Omega, I think of a spoiled, self-centered NEET who has no ambitions, no life goals, no drive, and no shame over any of this. A person who refuses to do anything productive and blames other people for all of his failings, and thinks they are superior. Bad hygiene and poor fashion go with this, but I don't think it should be part of the definition. This person needs to change their attitude and fix themselves before trying for women.

If he has hygiene issues that needs to be fixed. If this person is just socially awkward and had some unpopular hobbies (ponies, D&D, Magic, comic books) I'd suggest trying to find women who are at least open to these things.

YaBoiTibzz · 2015-02-27T20:40:45+00:00

Yea omega actually is the easiest to give advice too since he's the guy that really is just shooting himself in the foot and could do some really obvious and simple things to increase his SMV. Getting to beta status is relatively easy, it's advancing from there that is hard.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2015-02-27T21:03:17+00:00

That he's a loser.

GayLubeOil · 2015-02-27T20:52:50+00:00

If a rancid filth lord asked you how to seduce women what advice would you give him?

Stop being a rancid filth lord.

whatutterjapes · 2015-02-28T04:11:47+00:00

I'd just be his friend. As a former omega, life is tough when you're inferior to everyone. I'd just be a bro with him ^{_____^}

blametheboogie · 2015-02-28T12:37:20+00:00

Learn to love yourself. If you don't love yourself you won't feel that you're worth all of the effort you will have to put in to turn your life around and get where you want to be in life.

I know a few guys that I would describe as omega and they are hard core self loathers. This is why they rarely succeed in much of anything even when you give them simple step by step directions to their goals, sometimes even if you offer to damn near hold their hands and guide them to their goal they won't put in enough effort. They quit way too easily in anything outside of their comfort zones. Obviously that's just the first step but it's a huge one for many many people. If you don't love yourself and other self improvement advice will likely not do much good.

whystoppnow · 2015-03-02T04:22:35+00:00

I would tell him to destroy his identity and suffer for years becoming someone else. Worked for me and i still get to game, just gotta make time.

i_telz_it_like_it_is · 2015-02-28T06:39:38+00:00

I prostitute is someone who loves you, no matter who you are, or what you look like.

MissPearl · 2015-02-28T03:06:59+00:00

Depends on if he's on the autism spectrum or just clueless but

"You can learn to control how others perceive you" <--- take a damn shower, try not to think of your attractiveness as coming from the annointed finger of god, work on that body language, etc...

"Remember, they're often as clueless as you" <--- self esteem recovery advice for teen and older autistics, after a huge amount of time trying to accommodate others despite having essentially like someone was clanging potlids together near your ear all the damn time

Other than that, faced by my nerdy brethern I generally give them some of my social kudos and let them go from therez other than individually coaching so they pick up on signs of female interest.

There is of course a big range between late bloomers and toxic idiots, bit generally showing a bit of friendly respect helps the former and nothing helps the latter.

Title	What would you tell an Omega Male?
Author	gwenderwoman
Upvotes	13
Comments	177
Date	February 27, 2015 6:37 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2xdmnq/what_would_you_tell_an_omega_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-would-you-tell-an-omega-male.283296 https://theredarchive.com/post/283296

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