The whole "women are justified in lying about their partner count" thing...

We_Are_Legion · 2015-01-07T07:31:04+00:00

I have never been asked. If asked, I'd tell them. With nice details too ;)

Those_Who_Remain · 2015-01-07T07:54:26+00:00

It isn't justified, but it is understandable due to the strong judgment people make on them based on the number alone. The number alone is pretty much meaningless, it are the values and attitudes that surround the number that are important.

ianturpiesmoustache · 2015-01-07T08:00:15+00:00

I have literally never been asked, and wouldn't lie to a partner if they did ask. It's such a silly thing to get worked up about.

If you do believe women are justified in lying about their partner count, do you also believe TRPers are justified in lying, 'manipulating' women etc. to get what we want?

I've used this exact same argument before. If TRP gets to be all "sexual strategy is amoral", they shouldn't complain when others agree and act accordingly. Either it's all amoral or none of it is.

l_____o_____l · 2015-01-07T11:05:53+00:00

I dont believe in lying in a relationship.

I dont give a shit what my partners N count is, as long as it isnt too low for them to have a rounded experience of how relationships work. If they have mentioned past relationships then I dont enquire further. I've also never been asked (as a man)

I've never heard BPs saying "women are justified in lying about their count". I've heard "we can understand why some woman lie about their count given how much prejudice there is".

buartha · 2015-01-07T13:10:41+00:00

I don't think anyone is justified in lying (bar extreme circumstances.) If she doesn't want to tell her partner for whatever reason, then she should say that she doesn't want to, and her partner can decide whether they want to continue the relationship without that knowledge.

In that case, is the woman's sexual history still none of her partner's business? Does he still have no right to be upset over her torrid history once exposed? Should it still have zero bearing on their present day sex life?

Her hypothetical husband has every right to be annoyed about whatever he wishes, although if she never showed any indication of wanting to act in a certain way with him, I don't think he really has the right to expect it. His options are to either leave, try to settle into their sex life as it is or compromise by identifying what he needs to do about being more attractive to make her want to do those things, while she tries a bit harder in the bedroom.

sh1v · 2015-01-07T07:22:58+00:00

I don't think people are justified in lying, but they don't have to share things that they aren't comfortable with or with people that they aren't comfortable sharing their history with. If it was anything else, nobody would care, but when it's partner count, suddenly people throw a stink about it.

I don't believe TRP is justified in lying/manipulating to get what they want, but they don't have to be open about things either.

To address your edit: The past is the past, if you want a better future, you have to work for it, because dwelling on the past and complaining gets you nowhere.

amoebacake · 2015-01-07T08:19:45+00:00

1) The guy doesn't care, he stays

2) The guy cares, he leaves

3) The guy pretends he is okay with it and uses it to shame and manipulate me later on

If I am certain it would be 1 or 2, I would be honest. If 3, knowing what I know now, I would dump the guy on the spot.

BlueboyPill · 2015-01-07T11:34:42+00:00

In that case, is the woman's sexual history still none of her partner's business? Does he still have no right to be upset over her torrid history once exposed? Should it still have zero bearing on their present day sex life?

RP is amoral

By the way I don't know why RP is so obsessed with the BP husband discovering that his beautiful wife had a rich sexual past. It's a bit like the Indian girl fantasy that was polluting some subreddits.

GridReXX · 2015-01-07T14:29:57+00:00

TRP's mantra is sexuality is amoral. If that's the case, then people can do what they want.

She can lie. He can be upset. They can work through it or divorce. The end.

Also "justified" is a odd word choice. It's a value judgement.

BPers usually reframe this as "why should she have to repeat an experience she decided she didn't like." My question is, what if the reason the now-frigid wife doesnt take it in the ass once a day and twice on Sundays, is not that she doesnt enjoy the act per se, but simply that she doesn't feel as excited/adventurous/horny with the person she's currently with. That she has settled for him, or perhaps more accurately, settled into a life of sexual/romantic mediocrity.

Or perhaps sex isn't that important to her, so she isn't settling.

You'll find that regarding frequency, what the average woman will say is a satisfying sex life and what the average man will say is satisfying differs dramatically.

You'll find that regarding quality, what the average woman will say is a satisfying sex life and what the average man will say is satisfying differs dramatically.

Hint... the woman usually doesn't mind the quantity, but isn't satisfied by the quality.

The man doesn't mind the quality, but isn't satisfied by the quantity.

I think you really want to believe every woman never liked fucking her husband. Not true. It's just sex becomes less important for women as life advances. A woman can go months without sex and will not be crying on the internet. A man can't do that. It's just different.

Stop this fantasy that she had bukkake orgies at 25 with 100 men and now at 35 she settled for her husband.

What likely happened is life took over. Work, kids, day to day life.

When I'm tired or out of it, the idea of sex doesn't turn me on.

For men, the idea of sex will make him not tired.

[deleted] · 2015-01-07T18:58:32+00:00

A woman most certainly should tell the truth about her partner count. It would be like a guy that said he makes 6 figures, but then she finds out that he makes much less. Women are allowed to shame a man like that so why is it not allowed the other way around? One aspect of being respected is owning up to your past and being accountable.

throwinout · 2015-01-07T08:20:22+00:00

You should assume women are lying about partner count, unless you have good reason or evidence to think that they are telling the truth. Its a cruel world out there.

Having said that, partner doesn't really matter until it comes to commitment time. Who cares if a slut lies about her partner count? She's not going to un-slutify herself. Just pump and dump.

powerkick · 2015-01-07T18:41:02+00:00

Eh, JUSTIFIED? I wouldn't say they're JUSTIFIED in lying, lying itself is bad. It just doesn't surprise me that they would lie about it given how sensitive such information is and how insensitively such information tends to be treated.

I am fucking sick of this "settling" narrative, though. What the fuck do you think a relationship is? What do you think a marriage is? They fucking call it

SETTLING DOWN

holy shit guys, is it so surprising? When you LTR you are putting all current sexual prospects down and saying "this is one I seriously want to be with for a long time."

THAT'S SETTLING

is the woman's sexual history still none of her partner's business?

BOTH partner's sexual histories are none of the other's business. It's not a crime, nobody gets hurt, and it doesn't affect the future. If you're concerned about comittment, talk about comittment. If you're concerned about STD's, well it's too fucking late to worry about that, you're LTR-ing her, you've probably HAD sex. THAT moment is the wrong moment to be worrying about STD's. I'd talk about comittment regardless of n-count because it's generally a necessary conversation to have if you're going to LTR someone.

People can stop having sex for a myriad of reasons. "I had sex better than you" definitely isn't a common issue in most LTR's and if it is, they tend to adult up and find a way to work things out.

[deleted] · 2015-01-07T20:38:31+00:00

If you do believe women are justified in lying about their partner count, do you also believe TRPers are justified in lying, 'manipulating' women etc. to get what we want?

Yes/No. I wouldn't do either because I have morals, but self-interested behavior isn't amoral unless it's fradulent.

lollibut · 2015-01-08T02:32:29+00:00

I don't care whether people who believe that sexual strategy is immoral get lied to about a person's partner count. So I guess it is sad when blue pill guys get lied to, but when red pillers get lied to ha, onya girl, you rock.

LaLaJoy · 2015-01-11T03:06:12+00:00

No person is justified in lying to get sex or a relationship from another person, period. More women should be honest about their sexual pasts, but it's a tad difficult to advocate that when other groups claim that non-chaste women are all worthless cum dumpsters.

ECoast_Man · 2015-01-07T15:22:23+00:00

This sparked a decent discussion, but you and I know the answer to this and it is one word - HAMSTER

taiboworks · 2015-01-07T11:42:30+00:00

what does red pill worry about women settling for them say about their self esteem, desirability? i.e. are their issues/insecurity/unattractiveness their bigger problem? if so, why the focus on women?

Autogynebot · 2015-01-07T22:39:08+00:00

I think that you are justified in using manipulative tactics when you are dealing with assholes. So, if you are for some reason a boy or a girl trying to get laid at some low-class nightclub on the Jersey shore that plays Ke$ha and rape-hop, then lie, cheat, whatever.

But, its probably better to just not deal with assholes, when possible.

Title	The whole "women are justified in lying about their partner count" thing...
Author	sh1v
Upvotes	6
Comments	141
Date	January 7, 2015 7:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2rlvxg/the_whole_women_are_justified_in_lying_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-whole-women-are-justified-in-lying-about-their.283872 https://theredarchive.com/post/283872

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