I am 35yrs old 5'10" 165lbs Married 6 years with 2 children (Girls 7 & 4)
I have a good job and make good money.
I have been working out for about a year and a half added 20lbs of mass since I started.
Just Started 5/3/1 program: Bench 230lbs, Squat 365lbs, OHP 160lbs, Deadlift 215lbs,
This may not belong on here but here goes.
I have always thought of myself as doing much more in our relationship than most husbands I know. I have always tried to step up in the relationship by doing whatever needed to be done dishes, making dinner almost every night, cleaning, laundry as well as all things outside and in the garage. I've always looked at our marriage as we are a team and we need to help each other out when needed because we have kids and one person shouldn't bare all the burden of raising them and managing the household. We always had sex at least once a week throughout our marriage. It may not have always been the most intimate (likely my fault) but I would say it was never starfish and she was always pretty into out.
I discovered TRP about 3 months ago. I started to very cautiously and slowly implement some of the ideas to try to build some frame. I started to flirt with her a lot more, she was very receptive and I discovered just how powerful touching her can be (not just sexually). We started to get along a lot more and I feel like she is totally into me (feels awesome by the way). We were fighting much less and I didn't feel like I didn't like her and vise versa.
I have a business trip to New Orleans at the end of July and she tags along(leave the kids at the in laws). We have a great time and have fun every night. My wife (a solid 8 with a very friendly personality) is really looking good and we go to several events with a lot of dorks so it always seems like there are a lot of eyes on her. The first night walking around Bourbon street I see some recognizable faces walking around who are always at these events but have never talked to them before. We hang out and go to a few bars, they are buying a lot of drinks and we are all buzzed. There is a nice guy we meet that is hanging out with the group. (He kinda looks like a better version of me but bigger, more tan and a southern draw) My wife who usually can talk to everyone and hold a conversation has some conversation with him (he is with his wife) nothing seemed out of the ordinary for her mannerisms. We end up hanging out with this group almost every night drinking, bar hopping, and having a good time. Everyone is dancing, drunk and having a good time my wife and I are all over each other like we used to be when we were first dating and going to bars every weekend. I step out at one point to have a cigar and was gone maybe 10 minutes and then step back in the club and she was dancing with the guy. I say her name like what the hell she stops immediately and is concerned. She is apologetic but ultimately believes it was innocent which it probably was because everyone was really drunk. I tell her in the morning I overreacted and that I didn't really care that she was dancing with him. All day I can't get that image of her dancing with him out of my head. I felt like I had lost all progress made and was immediately shifted back into her frame but even worse off than before. We finish out the rest of the trip and I am totally suspicious of that guy the whole time.
We get home and I am still feeling all this anxiety about what happened (mind you I have never thought my wife would cheat on me and I still don't think she ever would) and am very suspicious still. We both end up being friends on facebook with him during the trip because he was nice and cool (also lives thousands of miles away). I end up telling her that what happened is still bothering me (I know bitch beta faggot move). She kinda thinks I am crazy and can't believe I am still bothered she tells me how much she loves me and would never even think of cheating. I tell her I will never bring it up again and haven't since. We start to go back into what seems like our old ways of fighting and not liking each other for about a week until I try to start to regain composure and get beck to where we were. I remain suspicious and monitor activity which I have never done. I notice he likes every single thing she posts it seems like and she likes a lot of his stuff. (This is where some of you may think I am crazy) I check her search history on google I notice two things. One is a search about how to know when you should get a divorce (from the week we were fighting) and the other is how to communicate secretly on messenger. I check her facebook searches and she has searched him about 5 times to date since the trip. As you would suspect this drives my anxiety up and starts to drive me crazy. I continue to monitor never mentioning a thing and try to play stupid dad while still trying to regain some frame.
About 2 weeks ago she makes a post about not being able to sleep really well and he's the first to comment and says "I have some suggestions DM me for details". To me this is fucking stupid why can't you just tell everyone what ideas you have. I check her messenger and his name doesn't show up in recent but I search only to find out she has hidden the conversation. Which was totally innocent something like: her "Hey what are your suggestions" him "Try to eat right blah blah blah" mentions he is a certified nutritionist and if she ever wanted to get setup with a program he would do it for free. Her "Oh thanks that is so nice maybe if my current diet doesn't work out I'll take you up on that" and that was the end of it. Nothing more has been said since then but it starts to drive me crazy that she hid this. (She probably only did this because I was acting like a jealous faggot before). I continue monitoring and notice about a week ago she completely erased her google history which I don't think she has ever done before. This is really the only things that I can find because the thing I worried about the most was the secret messenger and the screen time for her messenger app is minimal. There is no other proof that anything else at all is going on with her.
The past 3 weeks have been going awesome no fighting and usually great sex every other day. We are always flirting and touching each other whenever one walks by. I find myself always wanting to be with her and around her. I truly feel like she really does love me a lot more. I continue to Lift, study TRP and actually discovered TMRP (about a week ago Especially Steele's guide to MRP) which I found to relate much better to what I am trying to accomplish in my marriage. I never wanted a divorce just wanted to get along better and have her desire me more like she did when we first got together. Here's my main problem I feel like I have oneitis like a motherfucker and I am just being a jealous faggot. I f he was local it would probably be an entirely different story because I really don't believe she would throw away our marriage for an LTR to a married man she barely knows. How did this happen? How do I get out of this anxiety filled jealousy that doesn't have much basis in reality? What is my next logical step?
Thank you for encouraging me to ask my question /u/HornsOfApathy/ with this post OYS. Go post now. Maybe find your Morpheus.