How do some of you guys keep the faith? New purple-piller here.

NEETVirginWinner · 2019-12-29T01:18:18+00:00

I'm not that picky...my only initial dealbreakers require a woman to have a good job/ambition....be in decent shape...have no kids....and not smoke.

If you're looking for someone also in their 30s, you're not likely to find this full package.

2019-12-29T01:14:53+00:00

Faith? What faith?

Dating sucks, isn't fair, and gives no quarter.

For some it's futile, others have it thrown at them.

Million-Suns · 2019-12-29T01:24:03+00:00

So how have some of you guys here kept the faith?

By realizing that finding someone does not necessarily leads to happiness. Some people might be well reminded that being alone is far better than finding someone at all cost and being led into a toxic relationship.

NPC55 · 2019-12-29T01:36:36+00:00

Given that you have had previous success with women, I am pretty sure moving from the suburbs to the city would fix your problem.

Willow-girl · 2019-12-29T02:19:20+00:00

I think I see your problem. You're in your mid-30s ... in your age group, a sizeable percentage of the marketplace consists of divorced people, mostly with children. Childfree women your age are rather rare, and because it is indeed a desirable quality, they can afford to be picky. (I think childfree status gives women an automatic +2 in RMV.)

So you are chasing after women who are relatively rare and highly desirable. Given that dating is a numbers game, do you see the problem here? If I were you, I'd consider being more open to women with children. You can still have some limits ... for instance, no more than one or two kids; or no single mothers, only divorced or widowed ones. Maybe a cute little daughter is acceptable while an unruly teenaged son with anger issues isn't, lol. But being a little more flexible in this department will certainly give you more options!

akaean · 2019-12-29T01:54:17+00:00

Keeping the faith for me isn't a matter of pills, blue pill, purple pill, red pill. Whatever man. All that being blue pill means is that you don't believe in the red pill. You have to come up with your own philosophy of life. But you can get guidance.

Try to be like Plato and live a good life. Think about Kant and figure out universal maxims about how to treat people and how you want to be treated. Work on yourself, but do it for you. If I've learned anything in my 30 years of life its that dating doesn't make you happy, if you are sad outside of a relationship... you'll be sad in a relationship.

Online dating is frustrating, especially for men. That is just the way it goes. I don't let it bother me though, no matter how many times my messages disappear into the aether, eventually, something clicks with someone I like, and that only has to happen once for online dating to be worth it. It is just the way it is. There are things you can do to make the most of every opportunity you get, like practicing your conversation skills, learning to read and respond effectively to social queues. Being charming is a skill, and it takes practice.

The lie of the red pill is that it offers you a formula to memorize a poor mockery of charm. The problem with it is that it is too rigid and based on an underlying philosophy of hate. You can learn to be charming without the red pill. It just takes practice.

CocoaThumper · 2019-12-29T01:57:19+00:00

You should date my best friend lol.. but really, she sounds like your type. She's in Toronto though.

reluctantly_red · 2019-12-29T01:09:26+00:00

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CocoaThumper · 2019-12-29T02:49:29+00:00

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couldbemage · 2019-12-29T21:18:51+00:00

I have tons of women in my social circle. Not one meets your criteria. Each point is reasonable on own, but when you put them all together you're looking for unicorn.

Younger would help, but that just cranks up the competition. And young women dating older guys for relationships typically want someone who can help them get their shit together.

CocoaThumper · 2019-12-29T21:59:12+00:00

You know, I honestly wouldnt swipe right on my current BF - or lots of my previous sexual partners for that matter.

Online dating isnt really something that women invest a lot in - we tend to just swipe 5 or 6 people that really stand out - whilst really hoping that we can meet someone in person. Male attraction encompasses so many traits that OLD cannot capture. Their presence, their humour, their relaxed disposition, the way they look at you, their personality and so much more.

I've said it once and I'll say it a million times - dont think that your success/ lack of success on OLD is reflective of how the female population sees you.

Keep your OLD profile and check it once a week, but don't use it as your 'main source'. Keep an active social life. Friends introduce you to their female friends, and their female friends can introduce you to their female friends and so on. Never turn down an invite to a party unless you're really not feeling it - and just always keep that social ball rolling!

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-12-30T00:27:47+00:00

Stop wasting time with online dating. Be a LOT more socially outgoing and focus on expanding/improving your social groups and social life and meet girls that way. Intentionally network and build connections in the same way that you would if you were looking for a job.

You'll almost certainly need to move past your current social circles and scenes. They're probaby pretty stagnant and low value if you aren't regularly meeting quality chicks through them.

lickybumbum69420 · 2019-12-29T01:58:43+00:00

You get some guy friends that are married and listen to them bitch about their wives and kids for 2 hours straight.

Then you start to look at your situation as more of a glass half full situation.

cxj · 2019-12-29T05:47:11+00:00

Fuuuuck are you me? Except the black thing lol.

So crazy how we’ve boned like 20-30 chicks and it still feels like nothing , like failing really. I feel cheated in that I never had an LTR with mutual infatuation.

Could be way worse for either of us tho 🤷‍♀️

FereallyRed · 2019-12-29T09:04:25+00:00

You're an average guy living an average life in an average city dating average girls doing average things.

You're average. You'll never achieve more than average because average is your comfort zone.

Why are you ok with that?

Mystery_Tragic · 2019-12-29T02:09:27+00:00

I don't.

Grek27 · 2019-12-29T02:25:30+00:00

Move to some place with more black women tbh.

Notsonewguy7 · 2019-12-29T02:31:54+00:00

I don't have faith. Broaden your pool. Be willing to date younger and across multiple racial lines. Get in better shape.

You are black, I'm black. The race part sucks but it is what it is.

Take a dancing class something Latin. Do outdoor activities, join a gym.

G77R23D · 2019-12-29T04:20:18+00:00

You're just getting started. What is it that you want?

whydidntthey · 2019-12-29T06:50:30+00:00

Get in better shape and get off of online dating. It's garbage. Go meet women using cold approach in places with young women. They will be childless. But this they need a good job as well? Dude come on. Meet young women in person where you can use your charisma and confidence to your advantage and don't worry nobody knows your age in real life.

Me2Brah · 2019-12-29T08:58:28+00:00

My guy. I’m going to be 28 next month, and my partner count is early 10s and I’m in exact same boat as you. I live in the UK, black guy.... I come from an African background too so you know getting married and having a family is HUGE but... I can’t find a girl to save my life. At all. I’m so embarrassed but I know the problem isn’t me, at least fully.

I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the societal collapse - though I would love a committed LTR, I just don’t think it’s possible. But it’s all good, I have my peace and I have my religion. And that’s enough to satisfy me.

I hope you find some peace too!

Darkseeker_Mau · 2019-12-29T14:10:28+00:00

Maybe you should imitate the superficial aspects of the successful men that you see, like looks or personality, if they get dates by acting or looking a certain way then maybe you should try it, it wouldn't hurt to walk the beaten path.

bonusfruit · 2019-12-29T16:44:20+00:00

No one has solutions here. They just talk a lot to drown out the bleak reality that it is, in fact, over.

k995 · 2019-12-29T11:13:01+00:00

after being drawn to red pill in my early 20s

And you wonder why you never had any LTR?

Workaholiconew · 2019-12-29T03:49:50+00:00

How do some of you guys keep the faith?

So how have some of you guys here kept the faith?

Mostly we don't have faith. We try to enjoy the decline, but we know it is holding us down, and with enough time it will destroy us, but we are happy we got a good time.

good job/ambition....be in decent shape...have no kids....and not smoke.

With today's market? not realistic, I am almost a decade younger and I can't find such a woman. Try only 'no kids and no smoke'.

May I suggest going for the younger ones? Yes, they are stupid as a rock and very demanding, but at least they are less likely to be a miss. If you look younger, it helps a lot.

Title	How do some of you guys keep the faith? New purple-piller here.
Author	CocoaThumper
Upvotes	11
Comments	115
Date	December 29, 2019 1:02 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/egz6v8/how_do_some_of_you_guys_keep_the_faith_new/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-some-of-you-guys-keep-the-faith-new-purple.303384 https://theredarchive.com/post/303384

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