664,807 posts

Happy 2020 and Field Report

by OptimusRP | January 02, 2020 | askMRP

19 upvotes

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STATS

  • Recovering Drunk Captain, 10 weeks RP, DL1, Week 10
  • Age 41, Height 6'3", Weight 216lbs, Waist 41", Neck 17", BF 24% (Navy)
  • Wife 41, Married 18 years, Together 22, Kids 12 and 9.
  • Lifts: LP 400x5, BP 235x5, DL 175x5, ROW 160x5, OHP (Injury)

SIDEBAR

  • Finished: NMMNG, WISNIFG
  • Current: MMSLP (85%)

FYI - I haven't been posting in OYS for the last three weeks because I am on a 28 day ban for being a total faggot. Basically I was trying to make myself feel better by saying there are other people posting on r/AskMRP who are worse off than me. I was acting like a pussy and I thank W&S and co. for calling my ass out AGAIN. The only person that I should be comparing myself to is me.

Anyway, the reason for my report is because my wife brought up divorce for the second time in 10 weeks. I have been holding frame consistently for the last several weeks by not losing control, not acting butt-hurt, not going Rambo, resetting every morning and playing my nice card, but also not rewarding her intolerable behavior. I have been keeping busy in and out of the house, playing with the kids and generally enjoying my life no matter how pissy and bitchy she is acting towards me. She expressed a lot of frustration that I seem to be "totally fine" and "happy" with my life without her. When I nodded in agreement she fucking flipped out and said she wanted a divorce. I said "that's fine with me" and announced I was going out for a few hours to run some errands.

When I came back I calmly told her that if she wanted to get an attorney she could take out a credit card in her name and use our shared account to make the minimum payment until the divorce was finalized. Her mouth fucking dropped and she began to sob. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I don't want a divorce! I just want you to react to me! I just want you to care!"

I immediately recognized this as another shit/comfort test. I said, "I care about you very much and I prefer that we stay together, but your current method of getting me to react is not working for me." She said that she didn't know what to do and I said, "Try being nice to me." I wiped her tears away and gave her a big hug. She continue to cry into my chest and I told her not to bring up divorce again. Then I left the room to go check on the kids.

Later that night after the kids were in bed, she approached me in the kitchen wearing panties and nothing else. Even though I am still not very attracted to her, I knew it would be the wrong move to turn down sex, so I lead her to the bedroom. We had not done it for a couple of months and I really gave it to her good. To my surprise, it felt amazing. I had a massive orgasm. I don't even remember if she got off or not but she cried afterwards. When I asked her why she said "I just feel emotional". I didn't think too much about it and snuggled up with her until we both fell asleep.

I still have a long way to go, but feel like I'm on the right track. Keep grinding my friends.


Post Information
Title Happy 2020 and Field Report
Author OptimusRP
Upvotes 19
Comments 66
Date 02 January 2020 09:45 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/306491
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ej4uut/happy_2020_and_field_report/
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  • wisnifg
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Comments

[–]EasyDaysHardNights38 points39 points  (19 children) | Copy

Last time I gave you a hall pass because it'd only been a few weeks. No such luck this time.

It's not about your big fucking orgasm, you autistic fuck. She is looking to feel some kind of positive emotion from you. Anything. Normally that comes as simple attention. But your cold non emotionally expressive ass doesn't do that. So she goes around lighting divorce dynamite just to get a rise out of you so you'll pay any kind of attention, even bad attention, to her.

She doesn't know how to get the good vibes so she's having to settle for any vibes.

Drill the following words into your thick fucking skull.

Comfort test. Comfort test. Comfort test. Comfort Test.

She needs to know you accept her. Not just for her body but in how she adds value to your life. Does your wife know how she can add value? Have you laid it out for her? Have you given your first officer a role to play? Nope. You're still fucking drunk at the wheel.

So many retards come here sex deprived wanting to figure out how to get their wife to fuck them. So they read some books and posts and start a Dancing Monkey routine. When she doesn't respond they get pissed.

Then they get fucking butthurt and if she isn't so repulsed by they're screwball antics and wants to try and figure out how to make it work, she tries to figure out what to do.

The smarter guys set up a maze with sex at the exit. Great. Now you're fucking a mindless rat.

The masochistic fucks don't make an exit because they're so pissed at their wives that now they figure they'll just make her run around in circles and cause their wives all the pain they felt. Fucking idiots ... Now you're getting no sex.

You set up a maze with no exit but your wife is strong enough she clawed her way through a wall to get out. She guessed at the sex, and you got to fuck her. Guess what. Now it's all just about sex.

Are you actually fucking leading? What's your fucking mission? I saw nothing about her adding value to your mission. Just that you had a big fucking orgasm.

Get a fucking mission dip-shit. Make it fun. Invite her to join you. Give her a role to play in your mission. When she does well ... Then reward her. Tell her you're pleased. Give her a smile and a nod. Fuck her like a caveman. You decide how to give a reward.

Make being with you fun. Make her want to find ways to please you. Not so fucking stir crazy she's lighting the world on fire.

Set up a maze with a clear exit and proved the comfort your stupid ass doesn't provide.

[–]Qba19945 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best comment i’ve ever read on this subreddit! Props dude

[–]JoeBuckYourslf4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This was a giant problem for me after initially discovering MRP. Full on Rambo and DNGAF/cold/distant and angry.. and then I realized I was angry at myself and it was all my fault.

Pure autism.

Quality comment here.

[–]redpillruminations4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. I came to realize I was giving zero comfort. Ever. There's another post on here, I think a 1 year FR, about upping baseline comfort. Testing that out personally, and so far, seeing some encouraging results. Must be non-needy comfort!

[–]OptimusRP[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a fucking mission dip-shit. Make it fun. Invite her to join you. Give her a role to play in your mission. When she does well ... Then reward her. Tell her you're pleased. Give her a smile and a nod. Fuck her like a caveman. You decide how to give a reward.

Working on this.

[–]Rock_Granite4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

What if he just wants her to act nice to him? That's what he asked her to do. If she can't even do that, then why bother with any advanced ideas on her adding value to his mission. Sounds like his wife has been so bitchy that she can't even handle being pleasant, let alone anything else.

[–]tightsleeves2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Then he has alot of work to undo.

Ever see one of those dog trainers... he could walk into a house with a bulldog that is ready to eat children and bite anything that moves... yet a few days later that guy has the dog pacified.

His wife is acting that way because he created that monster.

[–]Rock_Granite1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

good point.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like his wife has been so bitchy that she can't even handle being pleasant, let alone anything else.

Correct

[–]RedPillGlasses7 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy

Fucking idiots.... now they’re getting no sex.

Except he did get sex. Her emotions are not his responsibility. When she cries, you hug her, tell her what she’s doing wrong, and then bang her good. OP did that.

You said the word “her” and “she” 27 fucking times in your reply. He’s not focused on his wife’s emotions, but you sure the fuck are.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

when she cries, you hug her, tell her what she's doing wrong, then bang her good

That only works in a world where all the men here are sexy attractive high value guys. If you've been here more than a minute you know that isn't the case. There are tons of guys here in 10yr relationships whose wives fuck them only because they don't have any other options. I could easily play the "no option" card with a girl in a decade long relationship, but that's too easy. Fat unattracted wives love to put out up front to make it easier for them in the long run. If my girl thought just sucking my dick was enough to keep me around, she wouldn't be a very good girl and I would be a fool to settle for her.

The point is that OP is an unattractive faggot that is finally taking back his life and doesn't know how to incorporate his wife of 18yrs into the mix. It's hard to address that without talking about "her" to a certain extent.

You're not wrong that guys shouldn't focus on their women while improving themselves, but fucking a married women of 18 years with 2 kids isn't much to brag about. OP doubled down on her divorce bluff and lived like a king for a day, that's nothing to brag about. He's still got a lot of work to do.

[–]RedPillGlasses8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

doubled down on her divorce bluff

I think that IS something to brag about.

It’s the turning point of his entire marriage. When he took the power back, held it in his hands, and said “omg this red pill shit is FOR REAL”

Agreed, lots of work to do still.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

You're not wrong, but until OP is ready to fully bail on his wife, he has to find a way to include her and make it fun. Women with 2 kids in 10+ year relationships are easy, it will take more than good pity sex to keep his wife interested if that is what he really wants.

TBH, she was probably crying from being stuck with such a beta faggot, not from any deep or emotional sex. But women with no options are prone to emotional outbursts.

Agreed, lots of work to do still. Get on it OP and make her cry good tears next time and not self pity tears.

[–]RedPillGlasses4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think she cried because she realized he took her power away. And that she finally pushed him so far that he truly didn’t give a fuck if they were together or not.

But I’m a glass half full kind of a guy.

[–]EasyDaysHardNights2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

she was probably crying from being stuck with such a beta faggot,

Agreed, OP needs /u/Archwinger's post - Every unhappy wife is a rape victim.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are not real tears unless there are snot bubbles.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best post on internet.

[–]arm_candy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Except he did get sex.

He could have been getting sex this whole time. He's the one who's been withholding for months, not her.

[–]Cam_Winston218 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I stopped at the point where you mentioned a credit card, she went into survival mode (predictably), and you didn't realize it.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

Rambo, checking in for duty, sir. Field report attached.

[–]RedPillGlasses7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

I fucking love Rambo stories. None of this “one month for one year” bullshit.

Get crazy. Blow shit up.

Best case = She falls in line and it doesn’t take 9 months.

Worst case = She flies for divorce and you fuck a bunch of tinder sluts.

Oh wait, they’re both best case scenarios, so Rambo Up.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

They might be best case scenarios but they're not the only scenarios. Blowing shit up is all well and good.. it can get you what you want in far less time than the prescribed one month for one year.

It can turn a harpy, sexless wife into a submissive sex kitten. It can get you to a divorce and a line of tinder sluts.

But what then?

What's the plan after that?

Sex is easy to get. From your wife or any other woman. If that's the point you want to prove, then you can easily do it.

If you go mgtow, you can live that life forever. But in a marriage, it won't last for more than a few weeks or months. Then you're back to mgtow.

Mgtow is easy. Getting laid is easy. Getting the same result in a marriage over a sustained period requires a lot more work than that.

[–]RedPillGlasses4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What’s the plan after that?

You turn one of the tinder sluts into your wife.

And then she helps you get MORE tinder sluts.

Ask me how I know.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's all well and good - it works for you but you aren't the OP.. he's 10 weeks into MRP, 40lbs overweight, zero frame and doesn't have his shit together in any aspect of his life and is a total fucking pussy.

Yeah, he could blow it all up. Yeah, he could pull a few dregs off a dating app. Yeah, he could get hysterical bonding / fuck him for her life sex off his wife. And yeah, that all falls in line with Rule Zero.

Maybe that's enough for him. Maybe that's it, that's the plan. Get your dick wet regardless of the other outcomes.

I don't know. I don't think he knows either. And THAT - imo - is the problem.

There's no point in pushing for a Main Event if - when it comes and she's standing there asking you what the fuck is going on, where are you heading and what is her part in this future - you don't have any answers.. no plan, no mission, no idea what exactly it is that you want.

[–]RedPillGlasses1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can’t fault your logic, not your analysis.

Been RP aware for four years, seems so basic at this point. I tell my Live-in gf pack her shit 1-2 times a month, and we have six kids together.

But I literally give no fucks.

Every shit test that arises, I kick it’s fucking teeth in. I have no patience for them now.

Point being OP can’t do any of that, so yeah, you’re 100% correct on your advice to him.

[–]redpillruminations6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The stories are entertaining. I like the fuck shit up and fix it mentality. That said, this is not good advice for newbs. He hasn't had time to marinade and internalize the concepts at 10 weeks. He is a badly dancing monkey that isn't making the circus, he's headed for the zoo.

Also the anger stage is real as fuck and can last a long ass time. He might not even be there yet.

Fuck shit up and fix it after year 1 of STFU. Let the concepts really sink in.l, start seeing the code and thinking properly.

Luckily for him, this was no main event. He isn't close to high enough value to warrant it, and would (did) crash and burn.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You forgot one other scenario... OP isn't actually ready for divorce and turns into a wrecked ball of emotional faggotory

[–]RedPillGlasses2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That scenario is gay.

And probably more accurate than mine are.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

Crying after sex is bad. Very bad.

[–]ImNotSlash13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Even if it's the man crying?

Edit: asking for a friend...

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just use more lube?

[–]ImNotSlash4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I tried but she said no

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I try not to cry afterwards, not matter how good it was. You know I'm kind of a sensitive guy.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I thought I was pretty good...

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's funny right there. (srs I lol'd)

[–]Balls_Wellington_Main Event + Coronavirus6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

The fact that you mention comfort/shit test like you handle them both the same is telling.

[–]TRT_Maybe_Deca3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are a lot of guys around here who are just getting started and already claim they are facing an onslaught of comfort tests... seemed to be a trend for the end of 2019.

That's not not how it works, she isn't afraid of losing this guy... she doesn't need comfort

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

I immediately recognized this as another shit/comfort test.

It’s a major problem that you think shit tests and comfort tests are the same thing

[–]OptimusRP[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I meant to say "shitty comfort test".

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It was just a comfort test... required some comfort

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

True, although I considered the divorce threat to be pretty shitty.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I view that as her being desperate for some comfort.

Generally (not always) , if her sentence starts with “I, ” it is a comfort test if she’s telling you about her feelings. If it starts with “you” it’s more likely to be a shit test. This was clearly a comfort test. It takes some time to recognize the difference. Don’t just listen to the words... watch her body language, tone of voice... etc. I’d be willing to bet these things screamed “I need comfort.”

You are best using STFU until you can decider the difference since comfort tests are treated much differently than shit tests. When in doubt, STFU and watch how she reacts - it will tell a lot. Sometimes, not saying anything for a while is the best move until you can get a clear read

I’ve had 2 shit tests from my wife this morning. Wanna know what I did? Just laughed. That’s called amused mastery when you are no longer living in her frame

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are other people on mrp much worse off than you.

[–]ImNotSlash2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No he got banned last week

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say thanks but I don't want to get banned from r/AskMRP too.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP just to add to what u/EasyDaysHardNights told you...

You are one pissed off dude. I don't think you realize how pissed off you are. Hard to give much comfort in your frame of mind.

I know pissed off, I understand it. Knock it off if you want to be happy.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You may be right. I am trying.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yoda says some bullshit about "try do". Maybe he has something.

[–]Alpha_FucksFormerly DaddyChadThundercock1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

We had not done it for a couple of months and I really gave it to her good.

Why aren't you fucking your wife? No wonder she is comfort seeking and bitchy.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

She's gross.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Tell her it’s time to go on a diet. The end

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I did that before MRP and it didn't go over well. My new plan is to get shredded and increase my SMV above hers. She'll be forced to keep up or eventually get left behind.

[–]arm_candy0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Next time when she comes to you and says she doesn't know what to do, tell her that you want you both to be healthy and attractive. She's seeking guidance, so give it to her.

Also how fat is your wife, actually? You keep saying you're not attracted. Were you not interested in fucking her pre-RP?

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I haven't been interested for years. It's hard to know exactly how fat she is because she refuses to tell me her weight but I'm guessing around 200 lbs.

[–]arm_candy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Alright, then. Lack of interest on your part suddenly makes sense.

I still find it strange that you "spent the last 18 years pursuing [your] wife for shitty starfish sex" and suddenly you're repulsed, though. I can understand wanting sex from your (perceived) only option even if you're not very attracted, and I can understand disinterest because of lack of attraction. It's the flip between the two that I find odd and think is likely anger.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's only been the last couple of years that I have completely lost interest. She's been steadily putting on weight since we got married (as did I) but it's her attitude that put the nail in the coffin. Now I have a wife who is both unattractive and a bitch. The anger is mostly at myself for allowing all of this to happen. I am trying to channel that into my workouts and willpower to lose weight.

[–]redpillruminations1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not the main event, but keep grinding. You need time to improve your understanding of how it all works together. Good luck, man!

[–]2wo2wo3hree1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“When I nodded in agreement she fucking flipped out and said she wanted a divorce. I said "that's fine with me" and announced I was going out for a few hours to run some errands.“

-You missed an opportunity to STFU.

“When I came back I calmly told her that if she wanted to get an attorney she could take out a credit card in her name and use our shared account to make the minimum payment until the divorce was finalized.”

-You missed another opportunity to STFU.

“I immediately recognized this as another shit/comfort test.”

-No you didn’t “immediately recognize” anything. It took you Rambo puke, errands, and another Rambo puke to realize you’re being shit tested. As a matter of fact, all you thought about while running errands was what to say when you got back.

-Unless she has divorce papers in hand, STFU about divorce. Chill the fuck out!

-Lastly... the sex you got... yeah, that was emergency duty sex out of fear; and you’re just happy as ever about it.

Could you imagine sex out of nonnegotiable pure desire after you stop acting like a faggot with a bullhorn for a mouth?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Frame. Abundance. Mission

[–]Deathmetal_deadlifts1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Something's wrong with your deadlift compared to your bench press.

[–]OptimusRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. I have a bad disc in my lower back and had to start out very low with my DL.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My last dm still holds true

[–]AlohaMaui8080 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I was wondering what happened to you. See you next month then.

(Everyone else already got ya covered)

[–]OptimusRP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL. Thanks man. I think my ban ends tomorrow!



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