Radical Directness Feels Amazing

yissssssssssssssssss · 2020-10-05T21:31:25+00:00

They seriously just enjoy wasting women's time, I've noticed.

They especially do this if she has many other options.

You're a side plate to them.

They know the minute they admit how little you mean to them, you're gone. Which is why they'll do insane gymnastics to avoid admitting it. :)

Maude2010 · 2020-10-05T21:43:30+00:00

I did this with a guy last year. We’d been seeing each other for a month or so, but after awhile I could tell he wasn’t into me. He kept texting but seemed unwilling or unable to make any plans. Always excuses. I deleted his number and started seeing someone else. But he kept doing it. I would respond politely, partly out of curiosity. I couldn’t figure out what he was doing. Finally, about four months after the last time I’d seen him, I was like “Why do you keep texting me? We’re clearly not seeing each other anymore.” He says “Oh, I thought it would be rude to ghost”. I’m like Sorry, what? You thought you’d just text me once in awhile till the end of time because you don’t have the balls to tell me you weren’t feeling it, which was obvious to me four months ago when I deleted your number? Like do you think I’m stupid? I’m still mad I didn’t block his number when I deleted it. These guys are such wastes of time.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-10-05T21:32:23+00:00

I hope you followed up with a block and delete as well.

freesm0ke4u · 2020-10-05T23:32:49+00:00

Am I the only one who doesn't think this is the best approach for a new dating situation?

I reserve radical directness for men who overstep my boundaries, usually in my workplace.

But men I am vetting for romantic reasons don't ever get lecture-texts from me. They get mirrored treatment - I ghost in response to ghosting. I give low effort and vague interest if they guy isn't chasing me hard enough. Rather than tap my foot and wag my finger at their behavior, Id rather block/deletes if I feel like I have to spell out basic dating etiquette. This leaves them guessing and their egos bruised. If I leave after I have confessed my disappointment and frustration it only allows them to categorize me as needy/hysterical and like they are the prize that I couldn't win over - not the other way around

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-10-06T01:36:12+00:00

I'm saving this post.

I friggin hate it when a scrote keeps in touch via messaging but has no clear direction on progressing things. What a waste of time. These kind of scrotes are probably already dating a girl but want to keep a harem of girls via text because MuH AbUndANce MeNTAliTy 🤪

The way you cut this scrote off was beautiful and I will employ something similar next time a scrote pulls this shit on me.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-10-06T03:05:21+00:00

your phone;

"why are you texting me?"

His phone;

"&^%$ *(*&^%GVH^%^6 ?"

InevitableHulk · 2020-10-05T23:26:09+00:00

Love this! And yes, it does feel amazing.

One time, I was reading a blog post by a male “dating coach,” addressing the concerns of women who say men don’t like that they’re direct and honest. His response was that these women were probably just being “tactless.” Um, excuse me, no. I’ve noticed a lot of men who absolutely hate when women are direct and honest, especially where boundaries are concerned. A couple of personal examples:

One time I was meeting a guy for a date. I was already there (a few minutes early) and he texted to tell me he’d “lost track of time” and was running late. I told him cool, but just so he was aware, I don’t wait longer than 15 minutes. He later accused me of adding unnecessary tension to the situation, stated he was very annoyed I said that, bla bla bla. I’m like, I don’t care. I make sure I’m on time and unless you’re stuck in traffic, or something happened, I don’t wait for someone longer than 15 minutes. Pissed him right off.

One time a man asked me if I was always so abrasive. I asked for clarification and he couldn’t really give me a straight answer. Because it’s apparently “abrasive” to be direct and honest and not sugarcoat your boundaries or feelings.

I’m sure we all have more examples, but the point is, if it’s a man being direct and honest, that man is respected. If it’s a woman, she’s “abrasive,” “tactless,” “creating unnecessary tension.” It’s a good way to weed out the ego-babies in my opinion.

bestladee · 2020-10-06T02:29:56+00:00

Agree! I think if it’s very early on it’s possible that there is confusion or miscommunication, the radical direct approach works to get things clear. But if you know he’s playing games just block and delete

freesm0ke4u · 2020-10-06T00:59:39+00:00

lmfao i love it

BellaStayFly · 2020-10-06T19:05:45+00:00

The new term for this is breadcrumbing. There are a ton of great articles about it. Men do this to keep you thinking about them, making you think there is something there, without having to put forth any actual effort. They don’t make any plans to see you in person. They just string you along. It’s really a complete waste of time. If I talk to someone for a week and they don’t want to meet me for a date, what on earth is the point of continuing? If someone is not excited to see me, I don’t feel the need to pursue it any further.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-10-06T13:06:39+00:00

Do the same thing sis. Thats what i do. I had an american guy cancelled on me on last minute. And i did the same thing when he drove 2 hrs to see me.

I always tell my female friends to never point out what the guy did wrong. You’re adding value to his life which is something i’ll never do. You do it by showing it in actions.

unbelyevable · 2020-10-06T03:31:16+00:00

I met a guy on Tinder (my profile said no hookups, ONSs, FWB, etc.), we exchanged Snapchat usernames (I know, two strikes right there)

So he's hella messaging me, showering me with attention. It was great...

Until he stopped cold turkey and then started on and off.

Finally I called him out on it.

I'm trying to remember exactly what he said but it was something to the effect of "We're not in a relationship, I don't have to talk to you every day."

My response, "Yeah and thanks to that, we'll never be."

I didn't delete him because I was curious what he would do next. He didn't delete me either. He messages me here and there now and he gets a response only if and when I feel like it. He just added me on Facebook. Not entirely sure how he found my FB page but I'm being quite entertained so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Title	Radical Directness Feels Amazing
Author	Northforth
Upvotes	238
Comments	35
Date	October 5, 2020 7:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j5q912/radical_directness_feels_amazing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/radical-directness-feels-amazing.314430 https://theredarchive.com/post/314430

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