Irrational Confidence

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November 11, 2017

I’ve always been fairly decent at pulling girls. Even from a young age. I lost my virginity at 13 years of age and I’ve fucked over 50 girls in the 9 years since, whilst being in 4 different ‘relationships’ for 5 years of that time.

My mother got sectioned when I was 7 years old for bipolar/depression/being the craziest woman on the planet. She tied me to a chair and put our border terrier in the oven and I watched it cook and scratch the oven door as she proceeded to try and hang her herself whilst my father was on tour in Iraq.

Subsequently 8 months later my father left my mother and took me with him and he found a new wife.

4 years later and my father goes on tour to Iraq again, this time I’m under the care of my step-mother who abused me, kicked me, called me names and treated me completely differently to the other kids (she had 3 girls, a set of twins 10 years younger than me and a girl 6 months older than me.)

She kicks me out of the house and I go to live with one of my friends foster dads. He groomed me for over 6 months to trust him enough to go and live with him, and he raped me over the course of a month, but at 11 years old he was like my dad and I trusted him and I knew it was wrong but I accepted it, some how, I don’t really know how, but I did and I had no one to turn to, as my mother’s side of the family had disowned me due to my mother’s situation with my father, and my fathers parents aren’t very close to him either.

When my father got back I moved in again like nothing had happened, my father knew I lived with the guy but he didn’t want marriage number 2 to fail.

After being exposed to what I had been exposed to, by the age of 11, my brain and my body had just gone completely numb. I could not feel anything anymore, I didn’t work properly anymore.

After things like that, I don’t know, your body and mind just begin to forget and you repair. It’s almost like I’ve watched it on tv and I can see it all happening so vividly in my mind but it’s okay now.

I didn’t tell the police until I was 18 years old, I got drunk one night with an ex girlfriend and a documentary about pedophiles came on the tv and I broke down and told her everything. She told me to tell my father and his new wife, my now current step mum. (The 2nd wife divorce raped him after 5 years and now he’s married a 3rd time, when will he learn)

I told them, one summers evening a few weeks after and that’s the only time I’ve ever seen my father cry, the pedophile got 18 years in prison (9 inside and 9 on licence) and a lifetime on the sex offenders register and he also raped 8 other boys from the ages of 9-14 between the period of 2006 (I was his first) and 2013.

Now, why is this all relevant, when the tile is Irrational Confidence? Because now as a 22 year old guy, I am honestly in a position where I have been through so much emotional hardship, that the person I am right now is so irrationally confident about everything because I know I can cope with anything.

Nothing scares me. I know I have the mental robustness to withstand anything anyone can say/do to me. Of course I am not indestructible and if I get stabbed, shot, run over by a car, that is unlucky. I’m talking about everything else.

And that is truly why I can fuck girls. I get told all the time that I am literally the most confident person they have ever met and it gets them wet. Coupled with the fact that over the past 10 months since finding this gem of a sub I am now in the best physical condition I have ever been in and I have learnt a lot more about game and building my kingdom.

I’m a Maths Teacher, I have a Mechanical Engineering degree and I’m 6ft 1. So that all helps me in the realms of I have a job, I got lucky in the gene pool and I’m intelligent. But apart from that, it’s all just irrational confidence. I’m talking literally not being scared of anything whatsoever.

So focus on yourself, believe in who you are and become irrationally confident about yourself and it will truly help you in all aspects of your life.

Post Information
Title Irrational Confidence
Author Burt3d
Upvotes 771
Comments 120
Date 11 November 2017 11:26 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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[–]pragmaticminimalist287 points288 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are a warrior and a survivor- embrace that pedigree- it makes you the king you are today- great post- it reminded me of Ray Lamontange lyrics-

Well I looked my demons in the eyes Lay bare my chest Said do your best To destroy me

See I've been to hell and back So many times I must admit You kinda bore me

[–]whatifitsfun 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I get told all the time that I am literally the most confident person they have ever met and it gets them wet. What makes people tell you that you're the most confident person they've ever met? What is it that makes you appear confident to people?

So focus on yourself, believe in who you are and become irrationally confident about yourself and it will truly help you in all aspects of your life.


  1. Your confidence has a solid, multifaceted foundation (survived shit childhood, have a job, education, girls, etc). It's pretty rational.

  2. Going through hell builds confidence.

So if someone wants to become as confident as you are, they would need to take on the biggest, baddest task and go all in, to the point of a mental breakdown and beyond.

This was better than some guy writing about his stinky penis and breath a few days ago. Thanks for sharing.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

You hit on it. The thing that builds confidence the best is achievement in spite of adversity.

[–]Burt3d11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m truly fearless of judgement in anything that I say. If I fancy somebody, I’m not worrying about their reaction, I just tell them. I’m a fun guy, I do fun things all the time that I want to do. Hey, I want to play the new COD WWII and drink whiskey, fuck yeah I’m gunna do it. I want to go and hike for 3 days and camp out and eat sausages, I’ll do that too. I want to go and talk to that girl near the bar because she reminds me of the crush I had on my babysitter, let’s go. If it doesn’t work out, doesn’t happen to often anymore, now I’ve learnt a lot on here, fuck it, on to the next one, she’s missing out.

I’m so over the thought of rejection, it’s not even bad and I’m so much more happy with the odd awkward situation that the feeling of fuck I should’ve approached.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Why does having a shit childhood and a hellish experience build confidence? It set me behind.

[–]MessianicJuice6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It partly depends on how you frame it, and is also partly due to unknown factors. Some people are driven to become "survivors" and derive some satisfaction from it as a way of coping with the pain by repressing it etc. Others feel too deeply and are crushed.

[–]plainposter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

it all depends on how you look at it. i thank my mother for being the craziest bitch on the planet because now i know when to dissociate from my emotions when people are being fucking retards. since my mother could never give me unconditional love, and probably saw us loving her as a weakness, i learned to turn my emotions off, which helps in dealing with people -- i can sort of manipulate people to my will now, and it's very relieving -- finally, knowing that i'm not at the mercy of some fucking retard and i can actually get my way in life.. so satisfying.

[–]effitdude1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

-Kahlil Gibran

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on how you deal with it

[–]Beast___Mode45 points46 points  (11 children) | Copy

Now because you got through all of that shit, I am sure you will be a great father because you know the price for happy childhood. You are a warrior.

That pedophile must be suffering right now cause pedophiles are getting fucked up in prison. He deserves that.

[–]Burt3d54 points55 points  (7 children) | Copy

I don’t want kids, or a wife, but thanks anyway mate.

[–]jumpinglane18 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

maybe one day. you are still very young, don't expect to have the same thought patterns ten years from now.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours31 points32 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm him without the rape, but more death and beatings. He will think exactly the same at 50 as he does at 22. We are not like you. You change as you grow, we were forced to change early and live with fucked up shit.

I tried to fit your world, it didn't work. I'm in a different universe interacting with the one you're in.

[–]GenghisKhanSpermShot7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nonsense, there are people from fucked up backgrounds that change views, some want marriage and kids some don't from all backgrounds.

[–]Skayruss15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who the fuck would settle down, in this day and age?

Take a lesson from this man’s story.

[–]greenlittleman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some people would and some people wouldn't. People can take pleasure from raising their kids.

[–]Snufek139 points140 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm honestly speechless. The simple fact that you're able to function is astonishing, I'd without a doubt be a wreck at this point.

Hope you can carry on and have a decent life, you're a beast, brother.

[–]greenlittleman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't know how would you react in his situation at his age. Kids still don't know "how world should function" and so they are much more adaptive compared to most adults. There is even some possibility OP's confidence goes from coping some of behaviour of his rapist and getting laid with this early on. I think most guys can get laid in their 12-14 if they really take initiative with the girls. And after that your confidence with them starts to building up naturally.

[–]Snufek2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, could be this way. Also missing the window of opportunity that you mentioned, so not getting laid till your late teens/early 20s, could mean that you you have nothing to build on and thus the fear and anxiety which bring you further down.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't get raped by a man, but had a similar life. Made me into a sociopath with ptsd, and other fun things. I went military and war felt like home.

I too have this confidence others find surreal, or inconceivable. The shit I've been through and not only survived and endured, but thrived and came out far stronger than most ever could be, has shown me that I can handle it. Whatever it is. After coming so close to death that you can smell it and you have to wash it off, girls are the least intimidating thing imaginable. They're playthings, fun adorable intelligent at times, but all toys. Death does not frighten me, people do not either, I'll do what I want and their input is not needed.

Abuse when we're kids either makes you into a monster of some sort, either the same that created you or something dark and lurking under the surface of a placid numbness, our it breaks you and you stay the victim for life.

I think you're the monster that has yet to come out. I know the thing inside me well, that fucker is nuts. Get to know yours, or you'll end up in prison when he comes out.

[–][deleted] 229 points230 points  (5 children) | Copy

I would've killed myself already, you're a very strong person, congratulations.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

While it's happening you endure it because you don't know anything else. It's only later when you realize that most people don't grow up without people they can trust and count on, or without people trying to kill you, that you get pissed about it.

You end up alone for life, and you start to enjoy it after a couple decades. It is fucked up but it makes you stronger if you fight against it.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you would surprise yourself. The will to live is strong

[–]therhymerr29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

So harsh but so true. Fuck man this world can be completely fucked sometimes. It doesn’t owe us anything and can take everything

[–]tropzumuch66 points67 points  (2 children) | Copy

Human race is disgusting, glad to hear that you came out so well. I think most people would breaks over such a path. Thank you for sharing, your message was a little like a ‚sudden‘ realization. You go man

[–]plainposter-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah i wouldn't mind if there were another genocide or two.. just wipe most of these fuckers out man.. get rid of em.. fucks sakes

[–]1dongpal45 points46 points  (7 children) | Copy

you are 22 years old and a math teacher with mechanical engineering degree?

[–]Wireframe88830 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

In the UK thats entirely plausible. Standard BEng takes 3 years and a PGCE teaching cert is a year. If you started uni at 18 that'd make you 22.

[–]crazymonezyy14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I graduated with a 4 year engineering degree at 21, I was put in school at the age of three and started college at the age of 17. OP's thing isn't a big deal, although I'm not in the US.

[–]LongSchlongAIDS-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

That’s strange, in the US you have to have a masters to teach at public schools and most (if not all) professors have PhDs. Assuming you are a freshman in college at the age of 18 like most college students you would have an undergraduate degree at the age of 22 and then a masters would take at a minimum one year of study but it’s more commonly two years so 23-24 years old once a masters is completed. So I don’t know how he completed mechanical engineering and was able to qualify as a teacher at such a young age.

[–]dpaul19974 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure that it's not legally required to have a masters to teach in public school

[–]LongSchlongAIDS1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I guess I’m partially wrong. There’s recently been a shortage of teachers in the economy so some states removed the masters requirement but, it isn’t uncommon for the state to have you complete a masters while teaching within the first five years after obtaining a bachelors.

I had the perception that all teachers had to complete a masters cause growing up I remember all my teachers having done so.

[–]dpaul19970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's reasonable, and would be ideal. But I had some teachers in high school that I thought should still be there finishing up their classes.

[–]Skayruss29 points30 points  (12 children) | Copy

If you haven’t gotten therapy, get it. I don’t care how irrationally confident you are. Damage like that in the childhood development phase can cause issues down the road, if not now, then later.

Men’s mental health is a serious issue.

[–]broccoli497 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your right man, OP please listen to him and go see a psychiatrist or smtn. It's really important.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

Therapy is near useless for he and I. Especially the feminine centric shit they do. What works best is knowing that today nobody can fuck with us the way they did when we were too small to do anything about it. I call it "the baddest mother fucker in the valley" mentality. Realize that you can end them easily, and all that shit fades. Fucked me up for 30 years, trying to fit in with the rest of you. I don't try anymore, I am who I am and don't give a fuck what you think.

People like me far better as who I am than me trying to fit in with so called society. I simply do not kill them, and let them go about their bullshit lives.

[–]Skayruss20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

That’s a stupid mentality. I went to a red pilled motherfucker and I took my own lessons out of it. Always be willing to learn from your fellow man. There are professionals out there who don’t try to force you to conform, rather help you come to your own conclusion. Mental health is a serious issue.

Besides, most guys here are beta or recovering betas. Acting like a “bad motherfucker” is posturing and most people see right through it.

[–]Kafkaevsky-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

who said OP has mental issues. Trauma does not necessarily cause mental issues, plus people have been through worse and still thrived.

[–]Skayruss0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Doesn’t matter. Repressed trauma will rear it’s ugly head when he’s older. You don’t fuck around with shit like that, and you certainly don’t posture, seeing the responses that the EC gave.

[–]Kafkaevsky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who said so. Not everyone is like that.

[–]Psshtatay0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What was your issue and how did therapy help?

[–]Skayruss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m an emotional and expressive dude. I break “traditional roles.” Very empathetic, long distance planning and foresight rather than acting in the moment.

I needed a therapist to tell me that it’s okay to stop repressing emotions. Now I realize that it’s okay to be expressive and people arguably like me better for being my aggressive yet empathetic self.

Traditionalism is cancer, especially to more intuitive as well as more empathetic men. Times are changing, and you best get with the program.

This isn’t a “just be yourself” post, but we shame men for having emotions and expect a silent, douchey, stoic exterior. Embrace both aspects of yourself and consider it yin and yang. That is the lesson I learned from my therapist, which also set some of my existential questions to rest.

[–]Martel_732_Tours0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Feminised societal advice is bad for your average man, but even worse for someone who has experienced unnatural childhood trauma.

[–]Psshtatay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that. I can't believe the Reddit therapy worship circle jerk.has infiltrated TRP

[–]oscarpaca0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try Jordan Peterson's past authoring suite instead

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

this is adversity and accomplishment. the only thing that gets you started is irrational self confidence.

but when you turn things around and start to win enough, it switches from being irrational self confidence to rational self confidence.

[–]guccigoggle4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are very strong person mentally, but do you think at any time you formed habits or coping mechanisms that were negative? Did you ever go after girls purely for pleasure and not the real connection, just straight sex because sex feels good and in your mind you wanted to feel good? Just curious. Thanks

[–]Burt3d3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve always used girls for pleasure really, even emotional pleasure. I don’t need girls, nor want them. I definitely use girls, but not in a bad way. I’m always clear that I do not want an emotional connection with any of them, but I fancy them sure and sex is a great thing. If you’re looking for someone serious I’m not your guy, fuck I’ll even help you find him, but I’m the right guy in the mean time.

[–]zeussingh9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thats a lot to go through and i cant imagine how you got by it. But the fact that you did would give great hope to a lot of people.

Salute to you brother !!

[–]wendysNO1wcheese4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus fucking Christ, that’s quite the cheery ol’ story to wake up to.

I’d keep a very close account of how you feel. A lot of people don’t just magically heal from that shit, if true.

[–]Burt3d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m fine, honesty. But thank you.

[–]DeusVultRightNow 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Jesus Christ

How clueless can a person be? Talking about your father here.

[–]DoNotEatTheTail8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, but remember how much many of us have learned from trp. Ignorance is the default state.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are incredibly strong mentally. Kudos to getting over such depressing experiences to become someone to be proud of.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

thanks OP, youve got some big stones to put this out there. women are fun playing; humans are crappy. in general, whatever success and progress you can gain is more than hard earned. while I didnt endure the experiences you have, you're a wiser man than I , to address this , and to seek communication, and relation, as young as you have. two steps forward, three steps back, is a common plight for survivors. I recently read something, "Nation" by terry brooks. Men help other men. is the message. some people can't live it down. you're the type that's figured out how to "live Above it". solid post. be well, my brutha

[–]Cairnsian2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A broken, scarred 22 year old maths teacher that fucks. Congratulations.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Biggest challenge now: actually forming a healthy lasting bond with a woman.

I️ know: wrong sub for that.

[–]neytax1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow dude, lot's of respect what you've been through and how you coped with it! Also in case you did not recieve complete healing, I wish that you do so, but I'm sure you'll handle that too! Forgiveness might be really important here, be blessed!

[–]asfasfsadzzzz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man. I've been through so much shit in life and it's still hard from time to time.

Props to you

[–]aga0801 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

damn sorry to hear about what you went through

[–]Morphs_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting post. It goes to show that even the most horrible experiences can grant you something useful in the long run. It's great that you recognize this strength. Applauding to you sir.

Meanwhile, my upbringing was pretty much effortless with virtually no trauma. So what did that result in? I grew up as a socially scared guy, scared of most people. Scared to get into fights. Fleeing rather than fighting. Hooked on porn. It resulted in some real social fears. With regards to other men I have trouble urinating in public urinals and towards women I have performance anxiety and trouble getting an erection when in bed with a new woman.

Of course comparing our stories is an apples and pears thing, but in a general sense it shows that overcoming hardship can result in tremendous strength, while the lack of hardship can lead to weakness and fear.

[–]staytrue19851 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Were you confident earlier in life? At age 13? 17? 20?

[–]Burt3d1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes mate. Never really lost the natural boyhood confidence that got me through the first 11 years, as it was the only thing I had.

[–]Teapot_Dragon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When put under pressure coal can crumble or turn to diamond. Not everyone can go through what you went through and come out a champion. You're an inspiration and I hope your coming years go well.

[–]telluwhut[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you’re not hard enough on your dad. He chose fucked up women to have relationships with and left you in their care.

[–]eggAMA1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This...this post is possibly one of the best I have ever seen. Honestly, im amazed you had the mental strength to go through that. I have a question or two for you tho:

1- I get that you need confidence. However, how should I stop myself from, instead saying something that sounds confident, something that is actually horrible or too far.

2- What does an interaction of confidence look like for you? I dont really have any frame of reference for that. How would you speak and act?

[–]Burt3d2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you do, never apologise and role with it. It’s who you and are people just accept it if you’re unapologetic about it. And I just say everything I want to say. I am very self deprecating in my comedy and I’m fearless in response to anything I get.

[–]eggAMA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you, that really helps. But in terms of apologizing, is never always the answer? Like is you end up insulting someone badly by accident or similar things? Or is there a way to apologize without apologizing directly

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Defintion of a Chad. Good on you, OP.

[–]DopeMeme_Deficiency1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to being a man. Shit keeps on coming, and we keep on pluggin. Its amazing the resiliency we have as humans, and being pushed to the point of breaking is what it takes to awaken it. Its the reason for the intense training for spec ops. Once you've seen what you can push through and still come out shining, theres not a lot that can be put in front of you that seems daunting. Good job buddy, go slay this life

[–]SpaceCowboy1211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its funny how one can grow numb to everything after so much shit. My childhood was interesting but nowhere at your level. Ive just lost literally everything recently yet it doesnt phase me at all. Its almost scary which is why, like others have said, is to seek some sort of therapy still. Going insane only takes a light push.

I do commend you on how well youve pushed yourself forward in life. I wish nothing but the best from here on out

[–]TheDeadlyZebra1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have you tested yourself for Dark Triad traits, OP? Your background seems consistent (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy).

I have high M and Psychopathy, but zero Narcissism, which is my problem. Narcissism is probably the most correlated with success. If anyone knows how to boost it, that would help me

[–]Burt3d0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can you link me to the test you did?

[–]FreePotatoFries0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah it would be interesting to see your scores on dark triad test given your past and your sense of confidence. Here's a link to one of those tests:

[–]SoulRedemption1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am overwhelmed and happy about how you have been able to handle all that. You truly are in a great path and that mindset of yours is a gem. Go at it bro

[–]PM_ME_UR_MARIO_PORN1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"After a night in fight club, everything in the real world got the volume turned down"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing your story, bro. Glad to know you're doing really well for yourself.

[–]Trooper_18681 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one should have to go through that man. Kudos for coming out on top. Im 24 and that scenario makes me tremble I cant imagine as a 7 year old.

[–]zboo1h1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ man good for you. I'm absolutely not trying to compete with you in the Child Abuse Survivors Olympics, but I went through some pretty insane shit as a child due to a mother almost as crazy as yours, and I completely understand your "irrational confidence". When you grow up with a monster in the house, nothing can really phase you when you're an adult.

[–]the_real_lunch_box1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man i read this getting more astonished by each sentence as you explained it. I have nothing to be sad about, you really opened my eyes dude. Most shit in life is nothing to be worried about, since you survived so much worse. Thank you for sharing this.

[–]ThomasHobbesROK1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very interesting post.

I feel we're opposites in some ways - I think by any standards I had a very stable childhood (parents still together and everything) and took a long time to come out of my shell. Hell I had something of a phobia of making phone calls till I got my first job at 18, had zero success with women till my 20s.

Kudos to you sir.

[–]Luckyluke231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading this shocked me to my core. I kind of understand why I do most of the shit I do. And why.

[–]Luckyluke231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading this shocked me to my core. I kind of understand why I do most of the shit I do. And why.

That's ks for posting man... I learnt a lot from this

[–]xn28the-pos2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, your life took you through terrible struggles. You're emotionally unstable. And you're bragging about the way you treat people based on that. Sounds like a healthy role model.

[–]Noveno 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

OP, how did you proved that guy raped you after that much time?

[–]Burt3d1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just told the police, they gathered all the evidence they could and it turned out he admitted it all on the interview anyway. He new he needed help, but was too fucked it and scared to get it. Their words, not mine.

[–]Psychocist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would have likely killed him and then killed myself.

I lost my mum last year, and I found it astonishing that I managed to pull through without topping myself. I don't think we understand just how resilient we can be. Even that is incomparable to the kind of suffering you've managed to overcome... truly, incredible.

Have you thought about getting involved with abused children? Sounds like an ideal mission (if you don't have one).

[–]CallMeHaseo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

whatever happened to your mom?

[–]Burt3d0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She lives in monitored accommodation, is morbidly obese and has a pet chihuahua. I’m not making this up.

[–]CallMeHaseo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can't grasp why your dad chose her...🤔

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing your story man. I had a fucked up childhood too, maybe not as bad as yours but saw some shit and got molested and generally abused by a family member growing up too. My mom is also crazy bipolar and was such a bad drunk I thought I was gonna find her dead on the couch every time I came home from high school and work. She tried to kill herself one night and my grandma got the cops to lock her up for her own safety.

I get what you're saying by not fearing anything anymore. Personally for me this lead to hanging on the wrong side of the tracks where I started to do lots of criminal shit as a teenager. I've been arrested 5 times for different stuff from general vandalism to drinking in public to fighting.

I think our childhood impact can lead to very risk taking behaviors. I'm older now and luckily never had to do a bid in jail past just spending the night in a cell and getting dragged through court. But as I matured, I realized there was some "toxic" behaviors I needed to fix. I think it's important we stay wary of that impulsivity and don't let it get the best of us. It's hard to give a fuck about getting locked up when you've seen some dark shit and been to dark places but it's also important to maintain your freedom for your own good.

Thanks again for sharing.

[–]unptitdej0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you sure it's confidence or it's just that you don't fear much, given all the emotional trauma? Empty inside at times? I can relate a bit because I often I feel empty and non emotional. I also don't have a lot of stress for many things. When I do get stressed or angry, it's because I did something that angers my own ego.

If your story is true, I'm truly story. Let's be better than the last generation!

[–]DONT_reply_with_THIS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude.. Get some MDMA/Mushroom therapy asap..

Did your dog die in the oven?

[–]loofy_goofy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You father is a disgusting piece of shit and human garbage. There are crazy women, pedophiles, etc in your story.

But there is also one big fucking traitor who caused all the suffering, who were marrying crazies and leaving his kid alone with them.

Hope your daddy will learn about responsibility one day and go hang himself, although probably the old fart would just die from some kind of cancer. Again, hope it would be slow.

[–]SSJ_Trunks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man you should really delete the part of the dog in the oven, that has me shook.

[–]ShavedApel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Didn't you technically lose your virginity at 11 then...

[–]SKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The two greatest forms of confidence are confidence that does not know what fear or consequences are

And confidence that has seen, survived and thrived with everything that heaven and hell can throw at it.

[–]BowserJewnior-5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

I seriously can't believe you faggots upvoted this. This would be a nice story for Oprah, but it has almost no genuine intellectual or pedagogical value in relation to this sub's topics. It's just a collection of worthless platitudes. "Hurr durr belief in urself gaiz!" Wow, I've never thought of that one before!

[–]1rporion10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh I believe him.

I also believe that he is no way healed and that his IDGAF attitude which probably works wonders with women is because his soul is irreparably damaged.

I am very, very sure that anyone who goes through something like that is by no means "ok" at the tender age of 22, I do believe however that the "machiavellian" machinations of todays tinderellas have no effect on him whatsoever.

I wonder what that says about todays society, where severe childhood trauma makes you, um, "romantically" succesful.

[–]SpaceCowboy1211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck, that last part really makes you think. Our society is really fucked up

[–]twy1231235-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

you're 22 and extremely low IQ, figured that out by the end of the first sentence. and that was enough for me. godawful post, terrible brain.

Says a lot about this quality of this sub when ape brain mentality bs like this gets upvoted.

[–]MrCompleteRealism-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Black guys are kings of irrational confidence. They have nothing to be proud of and women do not want the, yet they continuously embarrass themselves. There is a limit to confidence and deserved confidence.

[–]Lo-G-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do not believe that just focusing on yourself will bring this self-confidence you talk about.

One must actually put oneself through as much hardship as possible to get there. No book can simulate the pain your brain went through as you were raped. No amount of meditation will teach anyone the testicular fortitude you gained by repairing yourself from such damage.

If you want to be strong, put yourself under as much stress as you can handle (way more than what you think you can handle).

[–]appolo11-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too long. Don't give a fuck.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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