When you first get a puppy, It’s cute as hell, is playful, but it’s a naughty little fucker. It chews on your shoes, shits and pisses in the house, doesn’t do a damn thing it’s told. To avoid the dog owner experience being a living hell, most sane people begin to train their dog. They train their dog to listen, they train their dog to behave. They train their dog to cut out bad behaviors and enforce good behaviors. Your woman is no different.
Dog currency is treats. Your dog does something you want and you reward him with a treat. He does something you don’t like and you withhold the treat. They may get worked up and bark at you, but sooner or later even the worst behaved dogs realize that if they are to eat, they better behave the way YOU want them to.
Your currency with woman is Attention. The problem with most men is they spray that shit around like a chimpanzee with an AK-47. Use it the wrong way and you’re dealing with a misbehaved, entitled brat. Use it the right way and you’ll have her eating out of the palm of your hand.
Just like you do with your dog, you reward your lady when she exhibits positive behaviors. She gives you a surprise blow job in the car, she cooks you dinner, and she’s just behaving like a sweetheart in general. You want to reward her for this. Give her attention, she deserves it, she’s Earned it. Take her out for a dinner, buy her a little gift, and show your appreciation for her good behavior.
When she exhibits bad behavior, just like you don’t give your dog a treat, you don’t shower your woman with attention. Don’t argue with her, don’t engage with her, don’t even try and reason with her, simply withhold attention. When you argue with a woman you are giving her all the attention validation she needs. You care enough to get worked up, she means enough to you to draw a strong reaction out of you, and she will continue to behave badly as it yields emotional investment from you. Withold Attention. Withhold attention for as long as it takes for her to realize that her bad behavior was unacceptable.
Over time she will instinctively recognize this pattern. She will internalize that certain behaviors yield attention from you, and other’s yield withdrawal from you. When she’s lost your attention, she’ll start employing positive behaviors to earn it back. When she has your attention, she’ll be less inclined to misbehave as she’ll lose it. This is why certain forms of dread game are so effective.
The more attracted to you she is, the better this will work. If she can easily get attention from a higher value man, why should she sit and fight for yours. I’m not going to go into the semantics of building up value, that’s obvious, but if you wan’t your experience of being a LTR, husband, man in general to be on your terms, learn how train your woman.
Huh, I’ve been training her with pizza bites and it’s working well too.
The problem with pizza bites is they get crushed in your pocket and sauce stains your clothes. You have to keep the treats on you at all times, since the behavior has to be rewarded soon after occurrence or the association won't be made. I find M&Ms are pretty ideal for this.
When training animals (dogs, horses, even cats) you can use a clicking noise as signal. Ive heard even sport-people use this trick to enforce the correct movement to maximalize their success.
It works like this: you associate a clicking noise (or any other noise you can do fastly and without preparation, for humans even a „good“ or „well done“ works). When the association is strong you can give the treat a while (not too long) after the positive acustic signal. And after a while you can give a treat only sometimes (this works best. It triggers the gambling addiction. I heard a story, not sure if its true though, that you can even train lower animals like snails with this method. But it doesnt matter if its possible with snails, it works with humans best, because we are smart enough to understand each other. If you try to get your dog to understand your signal you begin by 0. a human can simply be told whats the right signal and maybe 1 or 2 trys until its established. A dog needs to do the right thing by chance, a human can be told whats the right thing.
Like: you want your woman to cook for you, ask her to do so. „Hey, when Im home Id like to have dinner on the table, please.“ If she made you one, give her the „wow, thanks“ and the next day bring her flowers (example). If she doesnt cook, you simply go out to eat with friends and dont invite her to come with you. „Oh sorry, my friends invited me to eat with them, have you cooked? No? Well, then I will go with them/ yes? Cool I will decline the offer of my friends and eat with you“ (you get the idea?).
For some of those wild bitches I think clicking is required
Lmao I make a clicking noise in my mouth whenever I want a women's attention.
Operant conditioning at its finest. A variable ratio yields the highest number of desired actions over time. If dinner made at home is the desired action, do not reward (give attention) after every time it is made but rather stagger the reward. Maybe delight her after the first time, but then wait til she does it twice more to shower her. Then 4-5 times later give the reward. Then back to 2 times. Y’all get the idea.
Basically it boils down to keeping the individual on their toes so they do your desired action more often hoping this will be they time their rewarded (cause they know it’s coming and they want it desperately).
Gotta love psychology.
Yeah, I want to study psychology. I love that shit....
Doesn't this craziness in us come from the amygdala ("lizard brain", right?)?
Please make a post on this, maybe with a research linked to it
tots work pretty well too until the guys at school smash them while they're in your pocket still
She's gonna turn into a fatty though
Chocolate is the hard drug to women, never forget.
They sleep more and requires food more than man, somehow I live with 4 hr sleep and work out twice a day, and eat very little. I had ex told me I am not even human, man do much more than it require, that is basically female mentality right here: I do enough to met the bare minimum, I need my fix. The standard is raised? Oh no patriarchy!
Looks like you neglect one important pillar of lifting -> which is to rest well. But hey, if it works for you, then fine. My recent plate didn't sleep whole night just to hang out with me, and went to school in the morning.. She also had work that day, so she could have gone with the whole "I am tired" ordeal. When a girl wants something bad enough, she Will disregard sleep/tiredness, and all you need for that is attraction/frame.. basically what we preach here all the time.
Just because you feel ok with 4 hours of sleep doesn't mean it is healthy. That is when both your body and brain repair. Your brain increases cerebral spinal fluid to flush itself of waste products, and in deep sleep cycles your body is repairing damage accrued throughout the day.
That's like saying I feel full eating potato chips, why do I need vegetables??
Yea that will catch up with a person when they aren’t in the twenties or even before.
This is same narrative I been continuously hear for past 20 year, I would continually hear that for next 60 to come. Cause I kill baby and it is a crime to not sleep and never gets gain.
I also nap, used to pull 80hr a week so I know how and when to take nap.
Priority.
Are you feeling tired during the day?
If I sleep less than 6 hours, I feel like complete shit all day long. Thinking becomes harder, life feels like a dream and I become unable to concentrate earlier in the day.
I wish I could be a productive person with 4 hours of sleep. Trump supposedly also only sleeps for a few hours. As far as I know, these people are missing the gene that weakens people once they get sleepy.
Thoughts become words Words become actions Actions become habits Habits become character Character become destiny
The bottom line is simple, just make the cut. Life is always have obstacles, some people make the cut, some just can’t.
I don’t believe I am ever tired, you just need to convince yourself first. If you can’t trust your own thought, how can you expect anyone to trust you?
Or you can say genes. Ok some born with gene like a beast.
I'm not into fat chicks but to each their own. I use shots of vodka instead. I like 'em dumb
It's amazing this has to even be said, but apparently it does. Go anywhere else in the entire world, ask somebody what you should do when things aren't going right, and they'll say Sit her down, talk to her. It don't work like that. That just gives her a chance to tell you that YOU are the one with the problem, not her.
Here's how simple it can be: She wants to be a bitch about something, then I've got better things to do with my time and energy than hang out with a bitch, and now she's not part of my life, for a day, a week, forever if need be. If she wants to be part of my awesome life (as OP says, that's a prerequisite, that you have an awesome life), she can stop being a bitch.
The dog-training analogy is one we've gone over many times, and it is always apt. When you have a well-trained dog, and I'm talking about a work dog or a sport dog, a breed with some value, not some piece of shit little yapper, what this dog wants most of all is to be of service to you. That is what makes a dog happy. It's the same with women.
Unfortunately, a lot of women today are untrainable, more like cats, and all "training" does to cats is teach them how to not get caught.
Results of our society becoming more and more feminized, even psychology is heading down that route.
"Tell her how you feel" "You're not paying enough attention to her"
Friend currently going to marital counselling gets told this weekly.
Im not so sure it's untrainable dogs but more so just a generation of shit trainers. Even the so called natural Alpha isn't aware of the reward/punishment dynamic in a relationship. Especially in a society that tells you to deal with relationship issues the way it does currently
I know I didn't. When I was a lad I wasted SO much time and energy trying to talk to women, anything from discussion to arguments, thinking I could convince her that I have the right way to do things because I have reasons, and logic, LOL. I have a wry smile whenever I think back on what a childish hope it was that I could get a woman to say yes, you were right and I was wrong. In the analogy, that's like fighting barehanded with a dog to show you are stronger, and LOL at that, too.
As a man, all you have to do is withdraw your attention and good graces, and if need be, your presence. That's it. The great thing about it is it's a whole easier and more pleasant! "Relationships are hard work" is some blue pill bullshit.
Everytime someone mentions this little rats, pretending to be normal dogs I am gratefull for my black german shepard dog. Also having one if you are a novice TRPer can help you a lot (if you spend time and train it ofc) with adopting this mindset of dog training women.
I saw that dating guru doctor recently and he was condescending towards the guy. That showed to me that society is segmented too much with men showing no brotherhood. Just because he can’t relate as a psychologist to a trucker doesn’t mean he should just join women in hanging up against other men. What a fuck.
So much this. When they want drama the answer isn't to feed them a bunch and hope they get full before you run out. Because believe me: they won't. The proper response is to simply starve the beast altogether. Wish I could knock this point through the fucking skulls of some of my friends.
Then the issue is how to separate the dogs from the cats in women.
That was precisely my implication. But don't think it's a new thing, I had to deal with this back in my younger days many years ago. I definitely had a "2 strikes you are out" policy going on. Sometimes 1 strike is enough.
The real point to be made here isn’t to train them, it’s to do it properly. Regardless of whether you’re actively aware of it or not, and this doesn’t just apply to women, you train people with every interaction you have.
Does your boss treat you like shit? It’s because you tolerate it.
Does a woman constantly text you? It’s because you respond.
Does your friend invade your personal space? It’s because you don’t tell them to stop.
Women will constantly complain about their partner that cheats. But she’s trained her partner that he can cheat because she stays with him. If she didn’t want a cheater she would grow some balls and leave him for someone else.
The real question is: are you training the people in your life to treat you the way you want to be treated? Are you teaching people you’re a doormat? Do your actions match your thoughts?
I’ve always been annoyed by people who constantly bitch about the behavior of others. Well, did you do something about it or do you have a pudding spine?
This is about being confident and having self-respect enough to only tolerate the behaviors you find acceptable and knowing if it doesn’t work out with person X there are billions of other people and thousands of other opportunities that are better suited to your goals.
TLDR: Grow a spine, stick up for yourself, no one was put here to read your mind or wipe your ass. Tolerate only what you prefer and not what you can put up with and you’ll be happier for it.
this is the stuff that I want to hear
Could have not said it better!
This shit is big facts. I employ the attention techniques at work and school, and these girls behave in the ways I want just to fill up the silence/ remove the awkwardness. What you just outlined also made me realize how valuable my time and attention are. Great post man, keep it up!
This SOUNDS sexist as hell.
But it's truth.
Let's say it this way: relationships exist to provide mutual benefits to all involved parties. Assuming - as this advice does - that you're an upstanding gentleman of some worth to your lady - which you are, of course - then it simply stands to reason that a good woman will likewise be of value to you.
If said woman is of no value to a good, upstanding gentleman...why engage with her? Said attention is literally rewarding bad behavior. Which you of course understand is bad, hence, we don't do it for children we wish to see grow into upstanding gentleman like ourselves, so, why would you do it for a woman?
If a person - forget gender and sexuality, even - is not adding value to your life commiserate with the value you add to their own...they aren't worthy of focused attention. Regardless of their biology.
It isn't sexist. Women can do it to men to if they want. It's just the way to leverage your personal value.
I agree.
I meant that, while the post might SOUND sexist, it REALLY is simple honesty.
Women are so similar to children in that they simply don't know what's best for themselves. They primarily operate on how they feel at a particular point in time.
It's your responsibility as a man to lead and direct them in behavior that is logically best for them in the long run.
A child may want to eat candy everyday but you as a leader know that this will be harmful to the child years down the line.
The Most Responsible Teenager in the House...
Why do I still see people commenting "it's sexist" on trp? gtfo if you don't accept its philosophy
Thinking women are fantastic creatures is also sexist. There is nothing wrong with sexism. In the blue-pilled world these words are thrown around with just one goal: Shaming.
Same goes for discrimination, discrimination is really good and we need it but when some group starts demonizing words, people tend to believe its bad.
This post is bad because its sexist! 100% of TRP is sexist, so what? These words have little value to a red-pilled man, unless in a social situation.
If someone here told me that you should pee and shit on a woman like the worthless slut they all are because she forgot to make coffee, I wouldn't find it sexist but rather take the knowledge of setting boundaries.
The word 'sexist' has no value within TRP.
Whoa there. I said it SOUNDS sexist...but is in fact just truth. Should have been more clear on that. Differentiate better.
I see what you're trying to pull there. Very nice point if view.
Just wanted to rephrase it so it sounded a little less provocative. To make it something you could share for the wisdom and honesty it contains, even with outsiders.
Sure, it's a very transactional view of relationships...but then, relationships are all about adding value.
Can confirm that this works an absolute treat.
What are some examples of withholding attention?
The silent treatment just looks butthurt
this is for /u/silversum1 and /u/Tharki_Boi also
dudes, read my other comments on this post, and half my original posts are about boundaries and communication. Here's one and here's another
Basically what I said earlier: if she's going to get an attitude about something and she won't be corrected with a light touch, then I have better things to do with my time than hang out with a bitch.
Let me just ask you guys something: do you have better things to do than hang out with a bitch? And that sounds like a real asshole question, but actually, I know a lot of guys who DON'T have something better to do than hang out with a bitch.
Here's another question for you: DOES SHE have something better to do than lose her attitude and get nice and hang out with you? That's a question you can answer on several levels.
I hate to admit it but I would like some pointers from the more experienced redpill men as well.
Yes, pointers please. Will really love to know some field tactics.
This is why it's incredibly important to have a life outside of one woman. It's not the silent treatment if you're playing basketball etc. and you can't respond.
Can't find it now, but there was a great guide to soft nexting, if someone else has it please link.
But essentially It's been answered. It's not about sulking around not talking.
You state what she's done wrong and then just get on with your life.
Essentially it's about displaying that your life will go on perfectly fine without her shit, and you will continue to do this until her behavior changes.
Do they like to text a lot? Go to an activity where texting back is inappropriate and let them know. Reduce texting responses in speed and length, end the conversation. Be honest, brief, firm but cool when asked why and how. That's not butthurt, it's being disappointed. They will try to paint it otherwise of course, that's where firmness and actually having something else to do is good.
Do you have a lot of shared activity? Reduce them temporarily, cancel some and do something else, but always be open and honest why, same as above.
Are they used to you initiating a lot of activity? Reduce that. Initiate an activity with buddies only, or simply on your own if you're in a long-term relationship. Go to a museum, a movie, a barbecue, shopping, a day trip, fishing, visit buddies. In an LTR, anything works that naturally directs your attention away, and keeps that phone in your pocket. Reading a book or running a few miles can do, even.
Politely decline, no thanks, do something else. If that escalates a situation, if they explode about you not texting back or keeping conversations short because you are in the middle of doing X, it's a clear indication that boundaries were weak before or one side was already used to transgressing them. "No means no" works both ways.
Women can also train their men by withholding sex and attention. Smart women will read about operant conditioning and apply it to their dog boyfriends and husbands.
This will only work for low value men who have nothing better to do than spend time with their LTR/wife.
Withhold attention from a high value man and he will spend the time on his awesome hobbies or on other women
"I just broke up with my girlfriend, I was really in love, and it hurt bad. She broke up with me more than I broke up with her, I think. I've been in severe emotional pain for the last few weeks. Severe. It took every ounce of will to be able to do the Model 3 event and not look like the most depressed guy around.”
-Elon Musk
Sorry but high value men can be susceptible to this too if the woman is smart.
You must have a different definition of "high value men" than I do. They spin plates. They don't get too attached and ALWAYS have other options ready to go.
It takes significantly less intelligence to realize how it could be when there is another women up in your face being a lot nicer and a lot sexier.
Eh, a high value man does not have to value his wife less than those things. So you can value your wife without losing your life. This is what this post is in part trying to accomplish.
And this only works for men who have “low value” women who are starved for attention. A man who does these kinds of things to an attractive, high value woman will likely cause her to cheat and seek attention elsewhere from a man who doesn’t (literally) treat her like a dog.
Yes, "women can withhold sex and attention from men to train them". It trains the men to hate them with a real strong passion. Men are capable of coldness that will shatter women.
Good luck getting flowers after that. Birthday? Anniversary? "Oops, I forgot. So sorry."
The premise of the post is that you are an alpha. One, that she holds higher than herself and other men. She will want your attention. If you are not currently the prize this will not work. That's why the sidebar screams at you : "FRAME! OBTAIN A SOLID FRAME before pursuing a woman!"
Posted this reply further down, but i guess it applies to you too.
I can see your'e part of the horde of SJW females that seem to be invading this sub. Ill engage for the sake of the others.
Biologically females are far more selective when it come's to mating. They have one egg they can fertilize, whereas men can quite literally impregnate ten women a day. In conjunction with this, they have to carry around a fetus for 9 months as well as years of post natal care. So in Biological terms they don't generally WANT to be sleeping with all sorts of men as the consequences are grave, they want to be sleeping with the man they select.
They make their judgement of who they want to sleep with based on who is the highest value man that will pass on the best possible genetics to their offspring that will give it the best chance of survival.(see evolution)
So this will be the man that they are most attracted to. They will want his attention. They don't care about the other 10 thirsty guys lined up, she is not attracted to them as she has a man that is better.
She also knows that the consequences to doing that would result in him leaving her(think biological terms: Cave lady sleeps with weak skinny, lower rank male,no contraception, then so now she's stuck with weak mans baby, Strong hunter alpha now moves on and gets another woman) as there are a multitude of other women who would also want this man.
In the end she loses out on her Alpha mate select, and he simply moves on and gets another women who will have sex with him. If he is high value there will be many. So withholding sex is simply not an effective strategy. And going to one of your other 10 thirsty guys will only harm you more.
This is the biological context that dictates what me and women value and why they behave the way they do.
fine lets the betas get trained, they already have been since birth by there single mothers...
This works pefrectly. I am thankfully training to be a school psycholgist. The behavioral psychology I have learned has come in handy, especially with women. You do have to treat women like kids. Its not a bad thing however. When she acts like a little kid (one that is bubbly and pleasant to be around) thats how you know she is happy. My current gf calls me dad as a nickname. In a sense, sees me as a more postive/responsible figure.
One major caviat with this however is to CLEARLY define bad behavior. You do have to tell the girl what you dont like. First you drcrease attention in order to decrease predictability. Take note however that you do not want to create sitmulus confusion between you and your woman/women. If its generalized and not defined aftewards, she wont know what she is doing wrong (unless it is clearly obvious). Finally you reward the good behavior, IMMEDIATELY after. This pairs the behavior and the stimulus together.
A happy man always leads to happy woman. Its never the other way around. -Patrice Oneal
Starving dogs isn't the best way to train them. Often they will bark, and when they finally settle down and get their treat, some dogs will think they just need to bark more, for longer each time. The proper way is a dominance display.
This looks like a weird training version of a dog fight. The trainer hand muzzles the dog, and then attempts to lie it down. The trainer lies down with the dog, and restricts movement until the dog admits defeat and begins to relax, ending the unwanted behavior. Once this is done, the wanted behavior is then requested again, and only if the dog responds positively, the treat is then given.
Obviously women are not dogs. I just wanted to comment on the dog training part. Maybe certain forms of dominance / dread game would work well on a misbehaving woman. Bringing home a hot 20 year old, for example.
"Bringing home a hot 20 uear old for example" hahaha +1
Dog Training 101 is a GREAT introduction to some of the nature of us human pack animals. I recommend it to pretty much everyone.
That implies a hot 20 year old wants to have sex with you in the first place. And who’s to say your wife/girlfriend couldn’t do the same?
Haha, I was somehow surprised that how I was able to approach and control dogs. I didn't realized what I was doing until I read this comment. I learned hand muzzling while observing street dogs and later it became part of my approach when I rescued one. I knew about the pack theory and alpha dominance, but never realized that I was establishing mine by hand muzzling, it was just a part of natural game for me. I have been approaching dogs and after opening up and establishing rapport I usually hand muzzle them. This thing really worked and I was so surprised that how I took control of the dog off their owners, but now I know exactly what I was doing.
Will improve this and apply in field now.
I did that with my 65 year old woman friend's buff as hell 1.5 year old dog. He was bullying her around and she couldn't control him in any way.I felt a need to let him know who was boss so after wrestling a long while I held him down with my body weight and legs and didn't let him move even though he started trashing. He let out a panicked whelp because he couldn't kick free. I held him for good measure and then let him go after which he immediately ran over to hide behind her and she was laughing saying that he never had acted like that before. Later I fed him a treat so that he knew we were good. Then the next time I roughed him only about half as hard since I knew he understood what it could be like. After that I never messed with him again since he started acting better and not like he wasn't the hottest shit ever.
Whay should I invest energy in training when I can get a nice puppy who don't shit on my gucci shoes?
Hahaha...I appreciate your optimism, but seriously, what are the percentages on finding one already ideally trained for you?
Actually, think of it as training yourself rather than training Women. Women intintively prefer this behaviour in their Men, because it's how a higher value male primate would act.
You know, if you changed the language so that instead of "training your Woman" you actually said "Train yourself to be a Man", you'd also win over the feminists as well.
Therein is the difference between those truly at the top, and those pretending they are. Scoff all you like at this theory, but there's no denying the Man who gets the prey that other Men can't, won't, or are unable, is unequivocally the better hunter, and thus provider, and thus considered more eligible to be of more value.
I kinda ruined it by saying "prey", and for sure that smacks of hypocricy. And you'd be right to think that. But in this instance I'm actually giving you the real red pill. The author of this piece came real close to nailing it, but failed due to their selection of language, ruling themselves out, as many do here on this forum, from Women they feel they have no chance with.
Sincerity, integrity, are some key foundations in life. If you're not 100% honest with yourself, you've no chance in life, because if you can't admit truthfully where you exactly are, you cannot plan moves to get you where you want to be.
You're not training your Woman, you're training yourself to be a Man. I can't stress that enough.
I look forward to hearing the weak prove to me just how weak they are by getting all flustered and replying with venom at this comment. Whilst those in the know, will understand every little detail about this post.
Truth hurts, right?!
I agree- once you demonstrate who is running the show by being that person, everyone falls in line. I don't even think this applies exclusively to women- more what are known as beta types on here.
And I think this is actually where I part company with the 'sexual starategy' line. The whole alpha/ red pill mindset dominates all other types- that is the real, dangerous message. The fact that many women actually want to be dominated, often responding positively to it is as taboo as the masculine alpha male.
Let's be clear: the real danger of the red pill is that a positive masculinity derails modern feminising principles
( "strong and independent" nice guys/ gals, who are in reality obedient and compliant workers ). Red pill causes more competition for the status quo in the alpha hierachy rather than more competition in the vanilla, blue pill labour pool.
In the end this has nothing to do with sex save for the fact that it is a by product of power.
>Withold Attention. Withhold attention for as long as it takes for her to realize that her bad behavior was unacceptable.
Don't do it too much. If you go dread mode for too long after a fight, she will dump you, specially if she have already lined up a replacement, and most girls have.
No. Do it as often, and as much as you need. If she dumps you, her loss. She won't if you prove to have stronger frame and higher value.
I get the dominate shit. But for fucks sake, they aren’t beasts. They’re humans too. Not even on some sappy shit but fr dude.
They are humans who encourage and celebrate evil deeds from evil men. Terrorists like the Boston Bomber and Andrea Brevhik have no shortage of perfumed fan-mail and naked photos coming at them. Firefighters, cops, soldiers- even after some media spotlight- get no such advances.
They’re not stupid. The only irrevocable thing you can get from a woman is kids. Anything short of that, and SHE’S fucking YOU.
Its's not about dehumanizing them. The dog part is a metaphor, don't get triggered by that. It's a commentary on human behavior and how to yield the best results when dealing with women.
The only problem with this metaphor is that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Meaning if you've already been in tour relationship for a while and are fed up with how your woman is acting you can't really just change things up out of nowhere, I mean unless you're willing for her to take it the wrong way and possibly end the relationship. Then this might work out well for you. But for guys who have already started the relationship off the wrong way, this whole process of changing their behavior takes longer. But I have to admit that it is possible. But you must ask yourself if you're willing to put in the time and work, or should you just start over with your newfound training guide? It might be quicker with the latter.
The problem with the metaphor is that it's not really a good one. Though the attention part is absolutely true.
Absolutely, as with a puppy, it's best to start their training from day 0. If you let them behave like a wild beast their entire lives you will have a much harder time trying to get their behavior inline. This is where a value judgment comes in as to whether to put in the work training or just get a new dog.
How do you train with attention when they make up a reason for why your withholding it and they’re wrong consistently
You find a new puppy, my friend.
You can state what they did wrong, then withhold attention if it's not obvious.
If they don't respond to this they are not attracted enough to you, sleeping with someone else
As sexist as people think this post is, it's true. I remember countless times with a toxic ex of mine constantly blaming her problems on everyone else, even me, when it all had nothing to do with anyone but herself. She constantly lied about everything to me, her friends and her family. She was super manipulative to everyone around her. I'll admit there were times when I was a complete asshole to her, but I can safely say that I never told her to "just kill yourself." When going through something very rough,(which she did to me). After I saw how much bullshit I put up with, I was fed up with it. I didn't want to break up with her because the sex was great and I loved her family, didn't have it in me to leave at that moment. But I made sure to change everything I was used to. No longer did I allow her to bombard my Snapchat and Instagram with text messages of her yelling at me for hanging out with my buddies and one of them bringing HIS GIRLFRIEND along with. No longer would I listen to her lies of "oh no, I never went to the party with all dudes that wanted to sleep with me (2 being her exes) that picture of me was not me, those weren't MY tits, etc." Instead, I let her say whatever she wanted, and left her on read. A couple of mins later, I'd have essays upon essays and pictures of her crying saying she didn't do this or didn't do that, or her yelling at me for something. Easy choice, I hit the block button and went out the rest of the night to hang with my buddies. Next morning, unblock, she came around and would either tell the truth about things she lied about or she would say how sorry she is about yelling at me and want to hang out/have make up sex, etc. I'll say here that I started doing this wayyy too late, because by that time our relationship was already on the edge, I knew everything she lied to me about, I had no trust in her and I hated how entitled she acted towards the guy that was apparently the "love of her life". If I would've started this early, maybe it would be lasted longer, or maybe we would still be dating. All I know is now she's off doing her own thing without me (which was a lift off my shoulders) and I'm having far better relationships with women than I ever did with her, (even though most are just fuck-buddy relationships) and really, had a lot of better quality time to my friends and family when I started ignoring her. Moral of the story, OP is right, but don't do this shit when your relationship is already fucked, it won't keep it together, only thing that's positive is that you won't be as stressed out from your girlfriend for the time period before it ends. You need to do this after the first or second fight. Wait too long, and by that time you've already lost your patience and sanity in that girl. Don't wait.
What do you tell her when she asks what the gift is for?
"I think you've earned it" "You've been good"
Can even say "Good behaviour"
You want the gift(It doesn't have to be a gift) to be soon after her good behavior so that she is still in that state of mind of behaving well. She will make the mental association of this state of mind(good behavior) being rewarded.
"cus you're a good doggo.. eh gf"
Should have named "Train Yourself"
Women do this to men all the time
Great post OP. The value of this extends far beyond just women, though.
There have been thorough psychological studies done on the effects of rewarding frequency on everything from rats, children, to grown adults in sexual relationships.
It just so happens that women are emotional/attention junkies.
The silent treatment totally isn't abusive. /s
So you’re saying just to treat your girlfriend like a dog? Don’t you realize she could be using these exact same psychologically manipulative ideas against you as well? How would you feel if your girlfriend thought you were “just like training a dog”? If you have a so called “high valued woman” she’ll just go elsewhere if you’re doing this stuff. She’ll cheat on you with someone who treats her better, values her more, and sees her as equal, not as an animal that needs to be trained. I highly advise against doing anything like this at all. The only scenario where this would work would be if the woman was way beneath your league and starving for attention— in that case you may be able to have her clinging to you in that sense. But I still feel like it’s manipulative, wrong, and incredibly sexist.
Train your man:
When he shows good behavior, have sex with him.
When he exhibits bad behavior, withhold sex.
It can go both ways, kids.
When she withholds sex, get it from your other women
when she withholds sex she gets replaced. Its unacceptable. If she knows that she will never try it.
You're acting like you can't have bad behavior
When he withholds attention, get it from your other men. She has more options.
That’s a given, at any time there are more than enough men willing to shower her with attention and grovel for her validation. The point is that you are her best option and she wants the attention from you.
if you've done your job right none of this options matter as you are the prize. Half the world has a pussy, most of the other half ARE pussies. The prize is a real man.
More beta options meaning none that will satisfy her
Sure, but that's where the part of having value comes in. Abundance.
A high value man will have multiple woman he could have sex with.
This nullifies her position of power immediately.
A low-value man who's only pussy supply is her, then sure it'll work.
A high value man wouldn’t have this problem as much because she would be wanting to put out for him.
There isn’t such a thing as a high value man.
A woman will always have options for sex and attention. Withholding either doesn’t matter- she can get it anywhere.
She doesn't want to get it from anywhere, she wants it from an Alpha.
Low value men(they do exist) are almost invisible to women. Otherwise every beta who showered his crush with attention would be getting laid.
A lot has to do with evolutionary biology. Although someone could get sex anywhere, they choose the strongest(high value man) to mate with as this gives their off spring the strongest chance of survival.
"There isn't such a thing as a high value man."
Really? So there's no difference between an average Joe and Leonardo DiCaprio? Or LeBron James? Who do you think women want more, them or you?
female troll
"Your post history is all I need to see to show that this argument is going no where. You’re a misogynist and nothing I can say will change that."
"A chimp could write better poetry than you. Have fun modding your sexist sub with zero followers. Pretty sad stuff buddy."
"You looked too quickly. I don’t believe the slightest bit in SMV. I quick look at your post history shows that you’re just an incel. A bitter, bitter intel."
"What do you know about having kids? You’re an incel. I don’t want kids for several reasons, but it doesn’t concern you. There are plenty of people in the world. My non-existent offspring won’t make any difference."
Thank heavens she isnt reproducing. Imagine her as a single mom.
Leaving her son Aiden home alone while she goes out of town with her black boyfriend. Oh the horror
Please.
A man of value has abundance and has options. One girl whitholdes sex? Fine. I'll call one of the 5 others who doesn't pull that bullshit.
Fair enough. I’ll call one of the 10 thirsty guys lined up and waiting.
Yep. But none if them are as gratifying as the alpha who doesn't play your game. Enjoy.
There’s no such thing as the alpha. How delusional can you be?
The missing part is that men age better than women and time always passes.
Yeah...not really. There’s a lot of ugly, washed-up 30 and 40-something males out there.
And that of course doesn't happen to females )
I can see your'e part of the horde of SJW females that seem to be invading this sub. Ill engage for the sake of the others.
Biologically females are far more selective when it come's to mating. They have one egg they can fertilize, whereas men can quite literally impregnate ten women a day. In conjunction with this, they have to carry around a fetus for 9 months as well as years of post natal care. So in Biological terms they don't generally WANT to be sleeping with all sorts of men as the consequences are grave, they want to be sleeping with the man they select.
They make their judgement of who they want to sleep with based on who is the highest value man that will pass on the best possible genetics to their offspring that will give it the best chance of survival.(see evolution)
So this will be the man that they are most attracted to. They will want his attention. They don't care about the other 10 thirsty guys lined up, she is not attracted to them as she has a man that is better.
She also knows that the consequences to doing that would result in him leaving her(think biological terms: Cave lady sleeps with weak skinny, lower rank male,no contraception, then so now she's stuck with weak mans baby, Strong hunter alpha now moves on and gets another woman) as there are a multitude of other women who would also want this man.
In the end she loses out on her Alpha mate select, and he simply moves on and gets another women who will have sex with him. If he is high value there will be many. So withholding sex is simply not an effective strategy. And going to one of your other 10 thirsty guys will only harm you more.
This is the biological context that dictates what me and women value and why they behave the way they do.
When the fridge is empty, you go shopping.
Sure. That’s why we have jobs after all.
OP "I got all the pussy and you ain't getting none." but then dDiegoDLV says "nahhhhh. Its like this I GOT ALL THE PUSSY AND YOU ONLY GOT ONE!"
For a single guy with his shit together pussy is like buses there’s always another one coming.
Only for betas. Which women already withold sex from...
People are not dogs. There are many irrational elements of human nature that must be taken in account. I feel that this post is an over simplification of how to deal with any problem that somebody may have with their significant other. Operational conditioning is very interesting, but the irrationality of emotions must be addressed in any kind of relationship.
It's a high level overview. The dog part is a metaphor, don't get too hung up on that. It's basically taking what women desire most from a man (attention) and associating it with positive and negative behaviours.
Positive behaviours = Attention Negative behaviours = No Attention
You do this with Kids, Even staff at work, Reward good behaviour with promotions, Cash incentives, Bad behaviour with warnings and being fired.
Yes! I'm totally aware of operational conditioning, I majored in psychology. Despite I disagree with some points of your post I want to tell you that's an interesting statement. If everyone would think in the same way, the world would be pretty dull.
So simple, yet so effective.
There’s a good book on this by the author pennamed Dante Dylan.
Can confirm. Don’t listen to what she says ( it always different), observe what she does instead.
Be clear about what you expect, don’t give her any attention when behavior is bad/ less than expected.
And that’s it. (If you’re nice you can reward her too - I admit it, I’m nice...)
You can't train someone else if you haven't trained yourself.
The Attention technique doesn’t get enough recognition on here. I banged a girl last weekend at the beach simply because I was giving her less attention than every other guy at the party and she wanted to know why I wasn’t giving her as much attention as everyone else. So she took me upstairs and asked me with her pussy.
my mother always said "you need to teach your woman how to be your woman"
I second this. Have been doing it for the most part of my RP awakening. No other way can make a relationship ok for longer periods of time.
Also, enforcing boundaries is good. What I did in my current LTR is say how shit is gonna be right from the beginning. How I expect her to act/not act, and how and where I will lead the relationship. Also, her time out with friends is spent after saying “can I please go out, sir?”, with a curfew set by me.
Note: Doing what I just said applies if you really hold the power in the relationship. Then you will be viewed as a “man who knows what he wants”. Otherwise you’ll be seen as an insecure bitch.
Once brief exchange we had went as following:
Her (playfully): I’ve never been told exactly what to do and how much do I spend my time with who.
Me: You can do whatever you like, but there are consequences to that. Either good or bad.
Her (still playful): You know, I’d like to have some moments where things go my way.
Me (smelling a shit-test): My relationship, my rules. Take it or leave it. Understood?
Her: Yes, sir.
This and depriving them of attention are two relationship gems few men actually use.
Good post.
Why did you get down voted so hard lol? It's just like any other post.
You sound absolutely crazy. Unless this is some sort of kink, you sound like you have a completely abusive, controlling relationship and your girlfriend sounds brainwashed and like she has many mental issues, otherwise she wouldn’t be attached to you.
Let me guess, you didn’t like the anal pounding your boyfriend gave you and you came here to judge my girl that’s happily in a relationship with a grown, dominant man.
Wow. You’re a complete asshole. And by the way I don’t even do anal, I would never do something with my boyfriend I didn’t feel comfortable with. You make it seem like my boyfriend forces me to have anal sex with him. Just because you do that in your ABUSIVE relationship doesn’t mean that’s how they all work. Someday karma will get you and you’ll realize what a massive cunt you are to women.
The hot ones love to be abused.
Apparently you don’t fit in that category.
That’s such a fucking lie. If anything an attractive woman would know her worth enough to stay the hell away from you.
And for you information, I’m 18 and in my prime, getting tons of attention from guys. You can check out my profile and see what I look like, I’m not embarrassed. The real question is what do YOU and YOUR girlfriend look like?
And yes people, woman will do this with a man she values. Nothing wrong with him confirming said value. (Though if I were her, I'd cheat on you right then there lol. It's just the hard as way you said it that would make it hilarious to do so. This should be subtle, not a blatant discussion.)
Withholding ANYTHING in any relationship is a sign of toxicity. If this does occur or you are the one doing it then that's pretty shitty that the relationship is at such a low level of respect and integrity. If your with a crappy partner who has such a low IQ that you have to train her like a dog... maybe that means something about you... I have no idea who would fall under this category as I do not spend my time with people who are so emotionally immature that can't be held accountable for their own actions. It's called being an "adult."
Yes women need emotional validation - but so do men. Men need confirmation of their abilities, thoughts, and identities in different ways but to the same degree as women.
A sign of toxicity? When she’s bitching to you and you ignore it it’s toxic? But sitting down and talking about how she feels and how it’s all our fault isn’t?
Username checks out.
If she's 'bitching' at you... then maybe she isn't ready for a relationship and from the sounds of it neither are you. A relationship is a natural give and take, where mutual respect and understanding need to be established. Ignoring someone's 'bitching' doesn't mean it goes away, it means it gets bigger the next time it comes around. If sitting and talking about the issue - not her feelings, is a problem for you 'EmotionalProblem' then maybe you need to see a counselor.
hey bud, no offense, but what the hell are you even doing here if you're disagreeing with OP? This isn't a Q&A, this isn't field report, this is a theory and lots are agreeing here. You either provide something that CONTRIBUTES to the conversation, or you don't comment. These are the rules and I didn't create them.
I agree some women won’t put up with being ignored. Which is why she’s a plate and not the entire meal.
If a woman can’t come to a man and rationally explain why she has a problem, why should he listen to her? Yeah, it sounds like she’s immature and it also sounds like it’s time to move on.
There’s not special about a woman who can’t communicate effectively, you can take a trip through [redacted] if you need some examples.
These women don’t need or deserve the attention of a man who is bettering his life. She’d just be along for the ride and contribute absolutely nothing to his journey.
I disagree with your silent treatment method of dealing with bad behavior. I generally use her bad behavior as a chance to remind her who the boss is. It’s a chance to do something constructive for the relationship and (re)set boundaries
Have been in a relationship for 3 years. Invest in your woman, you own the woman. How you treat her after is entirely up to you