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Girl from work asked me out?

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Swimming_Fishing123
May 24, 2020
91 upvotes
askTRP

So I met this girl last week, gave her a handshake and I saw her pupils dilate every time she spoke to me. She's the same age as me and is in HR. Our company is 95% men and banter with the girls helps the day go by quicker.

Since then she always comes to my office to have her lunch. Sits on my desk. Touches my hands, shoulder etc. Wants to go out for a walk with me during lunch time. Comes to our office when she's done with her work. Made me tea. Etc.

She played the whole "I'm conservative and I want 3 kids" move on me, even "accidentally" met me with her parents during lunch. Now she wants me to go to her place on the weekend.

I know I shouldn't do it. I feel like I'm risking a really good job for a girl that I barely know. She seems like a good girl but I really don't trust people easily and would rather get laid outside of work. Thoughts?


Post Information
Title Girl from work asked me out?
Author Swimming_Fishing123
Upvotes 91
Comments 99
Date 24 May 2020 04:36 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/668156
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gpjhv3/girl_from_work_asked_me_out/
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Comments

[–]Blackhawk2479312 points313 points  (13 children) | Copy

Lol the only thing more stupid than shitting where you eat is shitting where you eat with a girl from fucking HR.

If I were you, I’d secretly record all your interactions with this chick from now on, because shit is going to hit the fan when you reject her and she’s going to try and fuck you over.

[–]akihonj65 points66 points  (1 child) | Copy

My god this is so true, if the op doesn't read this one at least and take good note then he deserves all he's got coming to him.

[–]babybopp13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking the chic who works in HR. Lol

[–]PB003411 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s in bulgaria. Probably different.

[–]maestrulwro11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not necessarily, as eastern European countries started to be more like the US overlords, especially in the private sector.

[–]SalporinRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They're not there yet in terms of corporate HR culture though. Not even close.

[–]19abto4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Preach, wise eagle

[–]skriker25[🍰] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

so much paranoia, so not worth it lol

[–]whysoha4d8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol the only thing more stupid than shitting where you eat is shitting where you eat with a girl from fucking HR.

I came here to say this.

[–]beginner_5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If I were you, I’d secretly record all your interactions with this chick from now on, because shit is going to hit the fan when you reject her and she’s going to try and fuck you over.

That's the issue and keeping a record won't help him at all. Do you really think he will win with female team HR? Only if he has some very high up friends.

He is fucked either way...The real solution is to go full beta. With flowers and courting and "no sex before marriage" and ideally some crying albeit that one is hard to pull of. Anyway, he needs her to reject him gracefully.

[–]Blackhawk24792 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not for HR’s benefit, it’s for if/when he loses his job over it and/or the cops get involved.

If he has solid proof that whatever this crazy chick eventually accuses him of didn’t happen, then he’s got grounds to argue wrongful dismissal should he want to take the company to tribunal (they won’t want that).

[–]hawaiianboomerang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

the truth

[–]red_philosopher115 points116 points  (9 children) | Copy

Don't shit where you eat. Or get a different job.

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 32 points33 points  (8 children) | Copy

With the corona virus in a developing country? I have a feeling all my colleagues are trying to sabotage me and telling me to go sleep with this chick. It feels like a setup. How do I keep it purely professional?

[–]red_philosopher58 points59 points  (1 child) | Copy

By keeping it professional. LoL

Trust your gut, and maybe record her shenanigans.

Of course, I'd talk to her parents personally now that you've been introduced. Get some extra intel.

[–]TheBlockedUser44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's is HR as well... Seems to me she knows how exploit the necessary laws in her favour.

[–]FudgingEgo14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just lie and say you're seeing someone.

[–]_cheeky_bastard_2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Which country?

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bulgaria - the poorest in the EU :)

[–]Sad_Sleeper6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is a bit different in here, but still don't do it. There is a catch somewhere in the whole story.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How do I keep it purely professional?

Grey Rock Technique.

Stop having lunch with her.

Stop making eye contact.

When she stops by, Give vague, one-word responses. Make no attempt to maintain conversation.

If she tries to shit test you or bitch about something, start monologuing about the most boring topic you can think of. Like, corporate tax brackets. Ignore anything she says until she gets lost.

[–]Guarnerre199553 points54 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro I had a fling with the HR lady as well. I was 24 she was 27. Had fun, hookes up, she got mad, made my life fucked up at work.

I know it feels great, the attention. But dont do it, just dont

[–]throwitdownman1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Gonna need details, would help. How did she make your work life bad, and how did you overcome it?

[–]Guarnerre19959 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Okay so little story.

I (24m) began working march 2019. Was fun for a couple of months, august 2019, this woman (27f) came, joined the HR dept.

It began with light conversations, sitting besides me, touching me, holding my hands. Now we are 1 month in. She feels comfortable with me, tells me her backstory. Rape, daddy issues, promiscuous past, abortion, suicide thoughts. Not gonna lie, I felt hard. Felt like i had to protect her. White knight syndrome I call it.

Fast forward, had sex, her true nature rises. Collegues see us together more than we should. Rumours start circulating, temperature rises. Makes it a bad workplace to function. Her and I are on a bad note, got me fired and emotionally broken.

Thats the moment I found TRP and its stories. So many red flags, so many actions I shouldnt have done. Took it as a lession.

Now 3 months passed by and honestly, reading these stories and learning about what I really want helped me allot. You can always pm me

Cya

[–]throwitdownman3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow. So it’s the office politics and gossip which can spiral out of control. I can see that happening...water cooler talk and picking on you. Probably sucks to work there and being thought of as ‘that guy’.

So she felt the heat and may have thrown you under the bus, to keep her job/reputation.

[–]Guarnerre19952 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, the dudes there felt cucked and the ladies that were left felt jealous. It was a bad environment. SHE actually tried to "save" my ass by treathening to leave, which only made things worse.

[–]McLovinReturns32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly you're in a tough spot. If you tell her you want to be strictly professional and no fooling around. This will make her want you more because you will be seen as untouchable and high value. If you Fuck her than well your work atmosphere will get ruined. My best advice would be to hit her with a solid "Going through a lot of personl/family stuff I can't have a relationship" this one has never failed me

[–]MrTricksterAM46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard NO! Never fuck around with co-workers especially if they are in HR dept.

[–]Cerohero36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can smell a freak show

[–]akihonj17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is it just me or can anybody see another headline, male gets arrested and jailed for a false accusation.

There are more red flags with her than a Chinese army parade. Sorry dude but my advice then is like all of the others, don't shit where you eat.

Tell her thanks but, you want to keep things professional and do it in front of others so you have witnesses.

[–]leotard-princess10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not shit where you eat. This is a massive problem. There is a reason why we all say don't shit where you eat. That's because we all thought we were too clever to get caught out by the dangers and went ahead and fucked a cool and easy work colleague thot.

Well guess what? We all ending up eating shit.

[–]EnemyAsmodeus33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're in deep shiit already. There's no way out of it unless you can softly ignore her advances with her confronting you about it. But she may not accept a hard no.

If you don't really like the girl that much and don't see yourself marrying her. I'd recommend dating her for a while, and just flat out be a terrible date. As in, suuuper boring, talk only intellectual stuff in a non-passionate way, ask a question that makes people think you are also retarded, you said she was conservative, act like a libertine with hinting at hedonistic views, say something heretical maybe.

And there you go, now she hates you and will just block you. Mission accomplished.

But the benefit here is that she doesn't hate you for rejecting her and won't seek revenge. Instead she'll hate you for being a loser and unworthy. Perfect.

[–]entrep417 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

She'll probably like him even more because she'll realise that he doesn't care what she thinks and likes his confidence for voicing his opinion even when he knows it conflicts with her's.

What I would do, is what I used to do completely by accident when I was young 😂. Be completely oblivious. You have no idea that she likes you, she's just a co-worker being friendly. Don't accept her invitations to hang out and just stick with the guys. Eventually she'll get bored and move on.

[–]urbancore2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or she will spread rumors at work about him based on the bullshit he said on the date.

[–]2319Skew7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've done it before. I do not recommend it. She wasn't HR until after we hooked up and while I don't regret it, I wouldn't do it again.

It creates a scenario where it can go side ways really fast and potentially ruin your career.

That said, if you are going through with it, make sure you log everything. I didn't have any negative (as far as I know) fallout from it because if she brought it to light, our interactions would expose her slutty side to the organization (nudes, fucked up dialogue etc, abuse of power, etc.).

But we live in a world where you're a guilty rapist if you switch sex positions without asking for permission and I can't think of a pussy worth ruining your life for.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sounds like a psycho, focus on stacking that bread

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, at this point you're not just shitting where you eat... you'd might aswell curl one out directly on to your dinner plate tonight.

[–]1Reddthrown6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've revived this alt account just to post this. Tread very carefully.

When I started out, one of my colleagues pulled all her moves on me. I was not interested and pretended not to notice and not to be available. Maybe not the best approach, but that's what I did.

After a few months she started dating someone else from the office. She then proceeded to tell everyone how evil I am. She turned that guy, who was almost a friend, against me. When I went to get coffee she'd come to my office and tell the people around what a bad person I was. She did all she could to spread rumors and make me look bad.

Now, imagine what she could have done if she were in HR.

Honestly, I don't know what advice to give you apart from being very careful. Maybe go all beta on her. But be very careful, you are in a delicate situation.

Edit: and this was in Argentina, where it’s cultural to sleep with staff. Women are the same everywhere. Be careful.

[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wait. That was not the outcome I expected. So you didn’t lay with her, and still had to deal with her games? Did it eventually get better?

On the other hand, I can equally see a scenario where if you went full beta, she may see you as beta-bux and continue chasing you.

[–]1Reddthrown2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She never got over being rejected and hated me for it. There’s a reason women tend to never reject men outright: they would react badly if it happened to them.

And it did not get better. It got worse because she then proceeded to be very successful in our small field.

[–]1Shyrk5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

saw her pupils dilate every time we spoke

Well, if this isn’t the spergiest shit I’ve ever read, the fact that you haven’t absorbed a word of the sidebar would clinch the fact for me.

If you don’t work in the service industry or sometimes shitty retail, shitting where you eat has a high likelihood of biting you in the ass. And that’s WITHOUT the girl working in fucking HR...

If this didn’t sound so realistically naive, I’d be calling Troll.

[–]le_wolfe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao I was hoping someone would pick the 'dilated pupils'

[–]SpringsSoonerArrow3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be damn careful and tell her "I don't date girls where I work because of the problems IT WILL eventually cause me. It's really too bad we don't work at separate companies." If she changes jobs for you, you have a winner or a freak depending on how you feel about her.

[–]Velebit14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you are Bulgarian just do her. We are not anglocucks and our women are not rabid dogs like in the west. 90% of people who got married met through work for fuck sakes. I also don't know why would you think 'im conservative and want 3 kids' is a move she 'pulled'.

If she is in HR analyzing people is her job and she probably found you are outstanding, her pupuls dilating also means its not merely a calculation. Don't let american degeneracy dictate your life choices. Don't give those fucks any more power.

[–]Somelier12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said, I’m American but I agree.

[–]spedoid7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

If you really like her (sounds like you don't) then go. Otherwise it's not worth it. Meeting an amazing chick could work if you worked at like a large company. I would be 99% honest with her, tell her you want to but you work together so it might not be a great idea. The fact that she had her parents meet you is crazy lol. She must really fucking love you already, that is a bit crazy. She's already pegged you as the guy she wants to marry. It's nice to have a girl be obsessed with you but if you don't like her than fuck that. I would stop letting her lead you around and show more balls, only hang out with her if you want to. Also you don't know if maybe she has banged a few people in the office already and so if you banged her you would look stupid at the job. Other hand if everyone thinks she's great you could gain standing. It depends. How do you feel about her?

Is she hot? No seriously bro, how hot is she?

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

have a girl be obsessed with you but if you don't like her than fuck that. I would stop letting her lead you around and show more balls, only hang out with her if you want to. Also you don't know if maybe she has banged a few people in the office already and so if you banged her you would look stupid at the job. Other hand if everyone thinks she's great you could gain standing. It depends. How d

Good looks - 7/10. Needs a bit of work but can get really good. Behaves well and is social.
I think she's crazy too. While my colleague was not in the office she jumped on his computer and added herself on his facebook.

We have a lot in common like music, travelling and cultures we both like. But I still don't believe it as it seems too good to be true

[–]spedoid7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Adding herself on Facebook is a huge red flag. Who the fuck thinks it's okay to go on someone else's Facebook or computer like that? What a psycho. She's the kind of girl that will go thru your phone and be like WHO THE FUCK IS BARBARA AND WHY DID SHE CALL YOU when Barbara is your mother. Stay away man

[–]RanaMahal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

i get the message but who saves their parent by their name lol

[–]CrackDaMarco2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're getting Facebook contacts and texting contacts confused my dude

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

he fuck thinks it's okay to go on someone else's Facebook or computer like that? What a psycho. She's the kind of girl that will go thru your phone and be like WHO THE FUCK IS BARBARA AND WHY DID SHE CALL YOU when Barbara is you

I know. While she was doing it I told her to leave his computer alone also. She said "I'm just adding myself on facebook".

I've also noticed that my boss doesn't like when she's around. When she sees him she immediately leaves.

I can't believe how pushy she is at times and how she thinks that such behavior is normal.

[–]cglehosit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“I’m dealing with a lot of family stuff, I can’t be in a relationship right now”

[–]BIitheFooI4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Start voice recording on your phone when you see her coming by. It’s not worth it. Even if it’s good for awhile, when it goes to shit, she’ll have a ton of power over you. That’s my experience. I shat where I ate for about 2 years on and off and it was alright until I made moves to end it completely. Then she tried to ruin my life.

If you go to her place, make sure you’re recording voice somehow and save it in case shit hits the fan later.

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm working on a project that will be only 6 months, is it still not worth it?
I can't see myself ruining my image and time at work 'cause of a girl

[–]daymi[🍰] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is it a job or a career?

That is, let's say she completely tanks your image in the company and gets you fired. Can you then go work somewhere else in the industry without problems?

If it's a job and you don't care, go for it. If it's a career in something specialized where everyone knows everyone else, and you want to stay in the career, NO WAY.

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

say she completely tanks your image in the company and gets you fired. Can you then go work somewhere else in the industry without problems?

If it's a job and you d

It's a career and once in a lifetime opportunity

[–]daymi[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then I'd let her down gently and never do it. Don't reject her in an obvious way, just spend less time with her and be less forthcoming slowly and let it fizzle out.

[–]red__Man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

no matter how appealing it is, just don't do it. Unless you have a back up plan and you can switch jobs quickly

[–]BEARlauch2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When HR hates you you have bad chance for get higher positions and mire wage. Dont do it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I want to tap that ass, but the red flags I see are making me stop and think. Also, I usually push a girl to sex in the first 3 dates or it's offer. She kept on saying how she may behave friendly, but is not an easy lay. :D

[–]JohnQData2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell HR you are being harassed by this girl.....wait

[–]Ok-Cappy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just have a "heart to heart" with her and say that you are gay. I don't know if that flies in Bulgaria tho. Or say that you are already in a relationship. Keep it friendly but distant.

[–]AngTheEphemeral0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dealing with her sounds like a horrible idea in general, even if all you're interested in is sex.

[–]ariky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eat where you shit

[–]Abd12300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're in for a big suprise bro, do not eat where you shit

[–]Stupyyy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't do it.

[–]spartan_samurai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If things go south between you and her then one of you have to leave the job or get sacked for something stupid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to stop giving her attention man. She keeps coming to you because you're talking to her and maybe flirting subconsciously.

[–]coldestmichigan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try to find out her reputation around the office first. Last thing you want to date is Ms. Sally facefucked-by-three-guys-from-marketing

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She seems like a good girl but I really don't trust people easily and would rather get laid outside of work. Thoughts?

If it's a bullshit job, fuck, have fun. Watch out though because it sounds like she's got the baby rabies.

If it's a career job, keep it professional, and maintain a distance.

[–]LegendarySuperSalsa0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Your job ALWAYS outways some hole. Even a shitty job outways a hole. Don’t jeopardize your job for pussy.

[–]binrobinro0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Outweighs

[–]LegendarySuperSalsa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

^ What she said

[–]pandagate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro WTH!!! Don't hookup where you Vlookup!!! There are literally so many females in the world; why do you have to go after one at work. Lack of an abundance mindset.

[–]amrit21chandi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you have some plate that you can slightly trust then just introduce her to your miss HR as your gf that you're in so love with.

[–]roughback0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

change jobs, lawyer up, delete facebook and just for good measure hit the gym.

[–]GunzBlazein1800 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You gotta figure out a way to make her loose her attraction towards you. Just turn her off and make her think you’re a weirdo.

[–]binrobinro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"and is in HR. "

It's a test or a trap. Who you gonna go to if things get messy?

[–]__TheDon__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re thinking with the wrong head. Good on you for coming here first before making a move. DO NOT shit where you eat, especially with an HR chick lmao.

I would slowly de-emphasize her so she wouldn’t be caught off guard and try to fuck with your career. Try to record your interactions with her moving forward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dating people from work is a very very very very very BAD IDEA!!!!! DO NOT DO IT!!!

[–]cuttingthecorners0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man I wouldn’t risk making my work environment hell for some sex

[–]PolesWithGoals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing wrong with the “conservative” part but I’d acquire a body camera because she’s in HR

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you want a meeting with HR? Because shitting at work is how you get a meeting with HR.

[–]bodyfreeoftree0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not dedicate where you masticate - unless you plan on getting out of there real quick, or it has no impact on your future career.

Even if that's all good, beware HR and the potential for allegations down the line.

[–]IBETITALL4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be a fucking dumbass. Don't shit where you fucking eat

[–]TheYeti010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At my job theres a couple of coworkers who dated and some even got married (office job). So idk if I should believe the “Dont shit where you eat” hype fully. Although that is mostly to avoid awkwardness in case of a breakup. At the end of the day you guys are both guilty so she cant blackmail you for dating her (unless she is psycho). Idk up to you, take the risk or play it safe, the choice is yours.

[–]Swimming_Fishing123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Update: She keeps asking me to go around during lunch time.

Also, she started car sharing and my mate is absolutely fine with it even though I told him that the less people we give a ride to - the better.
She's literally pushing herself into every place I can be. It's unreal.

[–]Bushinatordid4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t shit where you eat it’s your job imagine if you lost it because of this bullshit

[–]33Wolverine330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Update your resume and then fuck her and get a new job. Lmao!

[–]FlameDragon6660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First rule of interacting with females in the workplace is: Don't shit where you eat. Especially during these times where jobs are in high demand. But you already made a huge mistake and now you're deep in trouble. The only way I see you can come out of this situation unscathed is to pass yourself off as a LVM Beta. Act clingy and make her send you to the friend zone. Women absolutely despise it. That way you'll end up in good terms and she won't screw you over since she's HR and can very well do so. Also. Record all your interactions. And never do this again.

[–]IXseed-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't wanna do it, don't do it.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck the bitch and go on welfare

[–]DTron2332-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck it, fuck her. If you fuck her good she won’t try to ruin your life, just play it cool and give her a pussy a visit. If it goes bad(which won’t happen) well take it as a learning experience.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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