RP advice on correct perspective with losing weight

CalvinRichland · 2018-07-20T22:20:36+00:00

Most people are terrible at guessing weight. I am not. Also you are looking at weight as if it actually means something. Rolls of fat are not attractive weight be damned. It is simply a calculation related to your size and gravity. I dont think you are turning heads like you are telling yourself. Will men look at big boobs no matter what? Yes they will.

As to why you should do it. If you care about your husband and he is not into fat women that should be enough but you have a food addiction and choose to lie to yourself about everything.

Best wishes

fumblesRPW · 2018-07-20T23:37:05+00:00

I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself if you get to a normal weight. You may tell yourself that you feel good and feel like you look good at your weight, but deep down you know you could feel better.

It's an unpopular opinion these days, but being overweight isn't sexy. Losing the excess weight will boost your confidence in ways you didn't expect and WILL make you happier. A woman who is happy with herself is FAR more attractive to men than a woman who hates her body (even subconsciously).

When you allow your body to have excess weight, it shows people around you that you don't value yourself, and take no pride in your appearance. That vibe permeates every aspect of your life, whether you realize it.

(Also, you already know this, but the health benefits of losing excess weight are worth it!)

knowledgelover94 · 2018-07-20T22:29:09+00:00

This reminds me of TRP advice to lift (I’m male). TRP convinced me to get a gym membership and lift and it has truly boosted my self esteem.

Looking attractive makes you powerful in a sense. Like you said, you turn heads, and you enjoy having that power (who wouldn’t?). I have no doubt you turn heads currently and look fine... but you could be more attractive and more powerful if you lost weight.

I can tell by this post that you know that losing weight is the thing you need to better yourself. What are you waiting for? Life ought to be spent striving to bettering yourself, not just remaining comfortable. If you’re deficient in something and you want to change, the only thing holding you back is cowardice.

Go get em tiger!

Edit: Also, working out and losing weight is healthy! Health is important!!!!!

okayestwifey · 2018-07-20T22:00:57+00:00

I think a lot of overweight women tell themselves all kinds of things about their weight to justify it. In this case, I hear "people are astounded at my weight" a lot (and I used to think so of myself too!) I have come to believe this comes mostly from women constantly lying about our weights to people, so when someone tells the truth it's like WHOA! That's really high! I would have never guessed you weigh that much! But 60-70 lbs overweight is a lot, let's not lie to ourselves (and again, I say that as someone who has struggled with weight and has finally actually done something about it, and I'm not even down to my goal yet). Part of RP is being honest with oneself, and then working to make the truth something you feel good about.

Frankly, and this might be unpopular here, if you don't care about being physically, objectively attractive, it IS fine to be that overweight! I don't mean that sarcastically or anything. But it's a basic RP tenant that being attractive for your husband is a good thing. I don't think every opinion or viewpoint needs to be labeled RP or BP (in fact, it annoys me that it comes up so much), but it's usually the case that a husband would prefer a physically attractive wife over and unattractive one, in a way that just isn't as important to women.

YOU will feel better, too. You know that feeling when you think you're turning heads? Imagine KNOWING it to be objectively true. Your spouse will be proud to show you off, and you will be happier to feel desired and knowing that he looks forward to seeing you.

laumei2018 · 2018-07-20T22:15:25+00:00

Lose weight for yourself because you want to feel confident and sexy. Lose weight for your husband - men are visual, they want to ravage attractive women.

stacysmom40 · 2018-07-20T22:54:38+00:00

It absolutely all comes down to maximizing you SMV. I’m 40. We are on the other side of the hill. It’s all down from here, but why help yourself fall faster?

Can you tell us more about your life? Is your husband providing for you to the point that you don’t have to work for income? If so, it is your job to please him. Having a not fat wife is pleasant. In the same way that having a not nagging wife is pleasant. He should be proud to have you.

I see that you snapped back about the how. You know how. Calories in v calories out. Do you not love your husband and yourself enough to put down the fork?

subgirl182 · 2018-07-20T23:42:13+00:00

Turning heads isn't your goal. Be honest with yourself, you want to please your husband. That is the RPW perspective. Some part of you wants to be what he wants you to be, you're not for everyone else to look at, turning heads justifies why you haven't been a good wife but that's not what you really want.

jennmannequin · 2018-07-21T02:32:57+00:00

Last year my Captain and myself really started focusing on weightloss. I never really considered it to be for him but it was because of him that I felt motivated to do it. Who doesn't want to be a piece of eye candy while walking with their man. While he never asked me to lose weight or change my appearance it really just came naturally when I saw how much he focused on him. I didn't want to be left looking like a blob next to my sexy man.

But basically what I am saying is do it for yourself. Don't think of it as being for him. Even though he will appreciate it that is all for you.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-07-23T15:33:44+00:00

Ok, so I would like feedback on losing weight and how to see in a red pill perspective. I encourage men to comment too as I love to hear their side of things.

Hope you mean that, because this is going to be honest. Brutally so.

I'm about 60-70 lb overweight.

So you're obese. Got it.

I carry my weight in a way that when I end up telling people what I weigh they are dumbfounded because they say I don't look that big (I'm 225 lb).

People suck at guessing weight. That said, with that much extra fat on your frame, I guarantee most men don't want to see you in a bikini.

My fat is distributed in such a way that I don't look grotesque.

So you're probably pear-shaped instead of apple shaped. Apple is the frumpy housewife in a mumu at the grocery store. Pear is the ghetto girl with the giant rear end. A slender waist and nice rack (which apple-builds can't do) makes up for a lot of physical shortcomings... to a point.

I'm 48 and I can still turn heads when I dress up.

Good wardrobe can do wonders. So can good makeup. Still, turning heads can be for several reasons, not all of them good. It can be for sexual attraction, aesthetic attraction, or simple surprise that an obese older woman with good hygiene, skin, and wardrobe is generically appealing.

Even so, I'm fat. Because everything is so saturated right now with blue pill, I need to know why I should lose weight.

Aside from:

1) Health - Live longer, less wear on the joints/cardiovascular system, easier movement, and better sex. Yes, being fat makes sex less enjoyable.

2) Being physically desirable to your husband (+ relationship) and to strangers (+ hamster validation)

3) Clothes are cheaper (less fabric, more selection) and more stylish (other shapes than "tent") when you're smaller.

I realize heath is a good reason but in the RP world, I am hearing you need to lose weight for your husband. I can't wrap my head around that and need some perspective.

Do you only do things for yourself? Are you that selfish? Seriously, read the sentence again. Let me parse it for you.

I realize my heath is a good reason but in the RP world, I am hearing you need to lose weight to improve my husband's sexual desire and satisfaction, to extend the duration of my lifespan and therefor my marriage, and to please my *life-partner* I can't wrap my head around acting for the benefit of my life-partner and need some perspective.

Do you see how that looks?

It makes me think back to my old triggers and tapes that play in my head, "he will love me more if I were just thinner".

As I mentioned before, he won't love you more, but he WILL desire you more. Do you want to be desired more by him? Do you want more sex with him? Because this is how you get it.

Do you want him to be repulsed by you? Do you want less sex? Do you want a less-connected marriage? Pack on the pounds.

How do I still lose weight for myself and him at the same time and keep it straight in my head?

This isn't hard. Lose weight for your health and his sexual attraction. Either should be a good reason to do it.

What I'm hearing from you, subconsciously, is that you're looking for excuses not to do the work. I hear a hamster that doesn't want to get onto the exercise wheel. Suck it up and DO IT, for you if not for him. Shoot that selfish, lazy rodent right in the fat belly.

Or don't, and slowly lose his respect and attraction, and your own self-respect too. It's all up to you. But for the record, you're deluding yourself about your attractiveness to others. You might look presentable, but at 70 lbs overweight on a 48-year-old frame, you aren't sexy. And certainly not with the selfishness that wafts from your post.

I don't buy it.

MidwestMrs · 2018-07-21T02:01:11+00:00

RP helped me realize that even though I was sexy and turned heads at my "comfortable-eating-whatever-I-want" weight, I could be better.

I was undisciplined when I ate whatever I wanted when I wanted.

Since losing 8lbs, I've noticed a much sweeter attitude from all men I encounter. I seem more delicate to them, and they are protective and polite.

Being over 200lbs as a woman seems incredibly unhealthy AND unattractive, visually and mentally. Men look at your appearance to gauge your health, but your appearance also speaks volumes about your character.

grassfed-stoic · 2018-07-20T22:02:57+00:00

We eat a ketogenic/paleo diet and I use intermittent fasting - one meal a day unless we go out to breakfast or lunch. This lets me create healthy meals and to have fun in the kitchen coming up with new recipes that keep H happy and that nurture our health. The fasting makes me feel amazing and means I can sit down to a big meal with H each night instead of picking at the sides which I feel is important for bonding.

Is your H overweight too? It’s our job to ensure our families health through the meals we provide.

Whisper · 2018-07-20T22:14:17+00:00

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2018-07-21T00:51:32+00:00

This is something that either resonates with you as something you need to do or not.

In the past, losing weight for myself wasn’t enough of a reason to put in the hard work and regimen my diet. Frankly I’d always prefer to read a book than run.

But if it’s important to my SO, it’s genuinely important to me. Also, I’m committed to healthy meals in my home.

I’m currently single, but I’m getting a head start by losing my last 40lbs. When I’m ready to date again, I want to avoid anyone who has low expectations or standards for me.

But I’ve learned to lose it for me, first.

Ezaar · 2018-07-21T02:04:33+00:00

It’s healthy mentally and physically.

It’s a lifestyle change that has so many benefits to combat the sedentary lifestyle that it’s almost insane to not work out. The problem is, is that exercise is artificial in more developed countries and we have to create a habit for it. “Exercise” and “healthy dieting/food intake” is already included as a balance in nature when you have to work for it.

That being said, if you couple what is said above with self development/understanding from the red pill, you’re looking to be a formidable person. I will say that it will respect the individual’s goals.

Besides, it’s tough to beat out the initial physical interest. But being physically appealing and mentally stimulating (to your own level or liking) is beyond what is traditional in some cases, and for me what seems to be the path that red pill men and women seem to want to take/advocate.

DelicateDevelopment · 2018-07-21T06:47:18+00:00

Over the years I realized that I can feel plus/minus 8 lbs when walking upstairs and doing sports and I feel much more comfortable without these.

Just imagine how easy and light life will be when you can move in whatever way you want to without getting into your own way and you are not carrying a bag with an additional 60 - 70 lbs with you. Test it, take something that weighs approximately as much and carry it around with you for one day. Then take it off and feel how much easier everything will be. The relief that you will feel just from loosing the weight is what you will have every day after loosing weight. This should be motivation enough :)

At least this is what it seems to me looking at over weight people from the outside. To me it sometimes seems as if they can barely move, pick things up and so on. Everything seems so heavy and complicated to them.

eelyeel · 2018-07-21T07:06:20+00:00

A lot of people are really bad at guessing weights. And even then, it’s hard, because how do we know everyone is being honest when we ask them to guess our weight? Some people would rather spare your feelings and underestimate rather than overestimate to avoid an awkward social situation. Some people react harshly when you speak of their weight. I don’t think anyone close to you is going to be outwardly verbal and honest about whether they think you look your size, if they find you attractive, if you should lose weight, etc.

I have around 70 to 90 pounds to lose myself and I just started along this weight loss journey. I’m currently down almost 10 pounds and I feel so good and proud of myself. I can’t wait to lose this weight and feel not only better about myself, but I think I will feel more sexually attractive and it’ll boost things in my current relationship. If you really can’t find reason enough, do it for your health. Look into the statistics of overweight people and obese people and what they’re more likely to get, i.e. diabetes and heart disease!!

HB3234 · 2018-07-21T17:33:33+00:00

You don't have to lose the weight for both of you. Lose the weight for yourself. Really, all increases in SMV should be pursued for your own self and satisfaction, but taking your husband's taste and preference into account.

Reasons to lose weight at 48 that have nothing to do with men or SMV:

Being as overweight as you are puts huge stress on your joints. You don't want to deal with daily joint pain in a handful of years.

If you're carrying well distributed weight rather than a heavy pear shape, this means you have more fat on your torso. This is linked to an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease.

As you approach menopause, your % fat to muscle will shift. Many women find it much harder to lose weight after this change, so it behooves you to do it sooner than later. Being overweight is also linked to having a harder time going through menopause, in terms of symptoms.

Point blank, overweight people don't have as long of a lifespan. As far as we know, life is short and death is forever. Don't make life even shorter.

trexgomez · 2018-07-20T22:50:03+00:00

Weigh yourself every morning. Make sure your weekly average drops as you slowly increase your exercise(even walking would do) and watch your diet. Slowly cut out grains and bring in veggies and fruits.

reddishrobin · 2018-07-22T18:58:53+00:00

I would like to know more about what you mean by :

"It makes me think back to my old triggers and tapes that play in my head, "he will love me more if I were just thinner"

Has something come up in the past linking his love for you to you being thinner?

tcgirl777 · 2018-07-20T21:27:31+00:00

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girlwithabike · 2018-07-21T13:52:28+00:00

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memelia · 2018-08-03T17:43:34+00:00

Have you watched an episode of 'my 600 lbs life' - that could help

spitfitt · 2018-07-21T15:58:45+00:00

You're looking for an excuse to lose weight and also don't want to lose weight to please your husband in any way?

Hdhdjjduufjndjidjdfj · 2018-07-25T12:38:38+00:00

This was a kick in the ass I needed too. I have a long way to go, but I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to die young.

Olaf_Bezerker · 2018-07-29T19:27:33+00:00

I’m going to be totally honest here, so if that is not what you want to read then skip this and move on.

You sound like you’re in denial and I think you need to snap out of that. Nobody around you is going to tell you that you’re fat. They’re going to sugar coat it or outright lie. Idk your height, but unless you’re 6’5” or something, 225 is enormous.

You are obese and need to lose weight if only for your healths sake. Turning heads is the least of what you should be thinking about. Have some pride in yourself. Are you really willing to stay complacent in your out of shape and unhealthy body just for the anonymous head turns of men who aren’t even your husband? That’s a shitty reason to be complacent. Besides, you’ll turn more heads when you’re thinner.

Lose weight because it’s unhealthy and unattractive and indicates laziness and lack of pride in oneself. Keeping a fit body indicates self control and self care. It increases confidence and improves your sex life. It makes almost everything better. You’re only 48. Are you really telling me you’re ready to give up and not care at that age? You’ve got so much life in front of you, don’t spend it in a crappy body.

eowyn85 · 2018-07-21T01:43:15+00:00

If you are looking for a good program look into McDougall. All oil free plant based women are very thin!

Title	RP advice on correct perspective with losing weight
Author	tcgirl777
Upvotes	17
Comments	65
Date	July 20, 2018 9:14 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/90jv07/rp_advice_on_correct_perspective_with_losing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/rp-advice-on-correct-perspective-with-losing.67488 https://theredarchive.com/post/67488

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