I feel so sick after reading this. “She should know I would never do that to her.”

vitryolic · 2020-11-23T00:35:49+00:00

He basically threatened her in the exact way her abusive dad did, holding power over her so she couldn’t leave, so that she felt suicide might be the only option. This is heartbreaking, I hope this woman gets the help she deserves away from her POS husband

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-11-23T00:36:39+00:00

I never thought I be abused. I thought my BF for years was trustworthy. Until one day he threw me into a wall almost breaking my arm, and forced me to have sex. I am 4"11-5 foot and he was 6"3 so there was no reason to use that force with me. Nor did I touch him in anyway. Men can snap one day and attack you, I never put it pass anyone. So if she feels unsafe you make her safe you don't dismiss and belittle her feelings. And you def don't go to male dominated site like reddit who often dismiss women's pain to uplift dusty crumbs.

SuitablePerformance3 · 2020-11-23T00:31:23+00:00

He's already abusing her and has driven her to extreme depression and PTSD. Absolutely disgusting. Now he'll take away her power even more because of whatever diagnosis and medication she receives. This poor woman, my god.

SuccessfulAppeal333 · 2020-11-23T00:30:40+00:00

She needs to get her life together.

He may have been "kidding," except he wasn't.

They are never kidding.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-11-23T01:31:07+00:00

So I’m going to assume that she doesn’t have access to bank accounts, cash savings or a debit/credit card if she is asking him if he thinks he has power over her. If she had access to “their” money, she wouldn’t even need to ask, let alone be in a position to feel so helpless that this conversation needs a trip to the hospital. He’s likely already financially abusing her and she just doesn’t know it (or just figured it out). What fucking asshole lords it over his traumatized wife

MomNateChloe · 2020-11-23T03:16:19+00:00

Girl, get away from this man and go to your Mama.

He has characteristics of your abusive father and has isolated you by moving you 500 miles away from your friends and family.

And he’s TOLD you he’s got you isolated and in his control. GET OUT.

Ka_Tetof99 · 2020-11-23T05:02:17+00:00

Do y’all remember that one AITA post where the woman’s husband found her emergency fund and threw a fit about it? And the comments turned into a shitshow of people defending her (reasonable) actions vs saying he was right to be upset?

This shit is why we have a bug-out fund and a bag mentally or physically packed to go. At all times. It makes me frothing-at-the-mouth angry that men don’t realize that these things are in the back of our minds quite literally every single day. Even when in happy relationships. I trust my boyfriend completely and even still I’ll sometimes think “if he wanted to rape or abuse me, I couldn’t really stop him,” and that’s my thoughts in a happy relationship!

This is so utterly horrifying and infuriating. Possibly the most infuriating thing about men. It’s not just the things they do - it’s that they really truly will never ever fully get it.

saraperche · 2020-11-23T04:16:25+00:00

He has been dating her for 9 years. 9 years. I feel like crying reading this. This poor woman went through hell and now her "date" of 9 years is jokingly recreating that hell for her. Atta boy! Such a good sense of humor, definitely NTA 🙄

I hope she does go to her mama and away from this nightmare of a "husband"

juliet-elia · 2020-11-23T06:00:58+00:00

C-PTSD patient and survivor here.

It is NOT about if he might do something or not, it's about whenever he actively recognizes that he has power or CLAIMS to have power, alongside of having the audacity to think money entitles you to any kind of power in a relationship. And he fucking ADMITTED.

That's why I refuse dating men. And why so many women scream to stay financially independent. Because of bs like this. He secretly thinks he holds power of her through the bills and that is enough for him. Subtle misogyny is still misogyny.

eluriaeve · 2020-11-23T02:57:25+00:00

This makes me fucking sick. It’s so triggering that I’m crying for her and for myself if I’m honest. As someone in a similar situation as her with mental and physical health issues and cognitive issues from years of abuse, I have absolutely been driven to planning to end my life before multiple times by the actions of someone like this who was supposed to care for me and keep me safe.

hongkonghenry · 2020-11-23T00:43:06+00:00

He should put some money into an account that's only in her name, that he can't have access to so if she wants to leave at any time she can. The only way he can make her feel safe and not trapped is to give her the power to leave at any time. I feel so terrible for this woman and all she has been through.

OOP if someone has told you that you post is here and you are reading this, I strongly suggest you take my advice.

hakunnamatatamfs · 2020-11-23T05:50:59+00:00

Damn this is so horrible. Poor girl

Novemberinthechair · 2020-11-23T06:30:15+00:00

Wow. Just fucking wow.

ferociouslycurious · 2020-11-23T07:03:25+00:00

What. An. A$&. Holy cow.

Jenjofred · 2020-11-23T07:21:22+00:00

To think that he didn't catch himself when seeing how upset she was and then his first impulse was to ask fucking reddit if he's the asshole. What a piece of shit.

ChonkyCatzPlz · 2020-11-23T12:04:59+00:00

I read that yesterday and i instantly thought of this sub and how right FDS is about 99% men. Gross power hungry abusers and emotionally inept idiots.

PinkPilledDemon · 2020-11-23T01:53:11+00:00

She should get a job so no man has a power over her ever again.

LostInContentment · 2020-11-23T14:44:33+00:00

Ladies, if at all possible, have fuck you $$. Even just enough to hop on a bus is better than nothing.

auntielife123 · 2020-11-23T17:52:27+00:00

Reminds me of this image. Technically they’re both holding the bow and arrow but he is the one with the power to harm. This is what I always think of when I hear/read “but she should trust that I wouldn’t hurt her.”

Title	I feel so sick after reading this. “She should know I would never do that to her.”
Author	classicalflyer
Upvotes	191
Comments	36
Date	November 23, 2020 12:17 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jz6w8a/i_feel_so_sick_after_reading_this_she_should_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-feel-so-sick-after-reading-this-she-should-know.726889 https://theredarchive.com/post/726889

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