RP'rs, what are your thoughts on spinning plates in an LTR as a male?

Barely-moral · 2021-02-15T13:21:36+00:00

I don't like lies.

I can understand how a man would be able to love his partner and still be attracted to other women or even the need for variety but if that is the case then he can find an open relationship.

No need to lie. Don't enter into monogamous relationships if you can't be monogamous.

Bandit174 · 2021-02-15T12:53:27+00:00

There has to be balance. You don't want to be a slave in your relationship and put her on a pedestal, but you also shouldn't betray her trust and disrespect your partner by flirting and sleeping with other women on the side. There can be a middle ground.

2021-02-15T12:54:56+00:00

Mixed feelings on it

But if you’re going to do it, shouldn’t be covertly. Recipe for disaster. If you can establish side hoes as fine, that may or may not be a good set-up. I still need more experience to determine if it works, but from what I’ve seen, it’s not totally a terrible idea

SeemedGood · 2021-02-15T16:31:33+00:00

Don’t LTR.

801735 · 2021-02-15T15:06:19+00:00

Surely to be in a relationship you need to have oneitus

Not necessarily. I think people can easily enter into relationships on basis of rational a (couple of) decision(s), developing deeper connections with your partner later as you both grow as a couple.

Or is it best to be kinda into your main girl, and spin plates on the down low...the occasional bang here and there, chatting and flirting, with other girls, whilst maintaining your LTR?

I know two couples who have this kind of arrangement and it seems to work for them. They're not miserable.

I know also of one guy and one woman who have flings on the side, not sure if their partners know, though.

The most common (by far) arrangement for couples is both being exclusive and faithful, though.

moviecooknl · 2021-02-15T13:59:25+00:00

Depends on the values and conditioned relationship boundaries of both and if you've been overtly and honest about it.

If you find or have a SO who doesn't have an issue with you spinning plates while in a LTR or marriage (Open Marriage, polyamorous relationship, etc) and you've set this as a condition while you both committed to a relation: I don't see why not.

Personally I've seen a number of relationships and/or marriages fail when this topic comes when they've been already been in a LTR and/or marriage for years (mostly because the other agrees for fear of losing their SO).

Before I was in a LTR (and now married) I was spinning a lot of plates while dating and my now wife was also dating a number of guys at the same time. But even during dating I had strict boundaries to never date and/or sleep with women who I knew who were married or in a relationship.

Eventually me and my now wife dated and we committed ourself to a LTR and made the mutual agreed condition that all covert and overt intimicy (dating, sex, communication, sexting, etc) would be exclusive and monogamous.

For me this is a boundary issue: if my wife cheats, I'll file for divorce. If my wife is sexting, wants to date other guys again and/or have sex with other guys while she's married to me, she can but the consequences are I'll walk and file for divorce. And it goes without saying that these conditions and its consequences are also in place for me.

Snacksbreak · 2021-02-15T17:17:08+00:00

I assume you're talking about cheating, which makes you a terrible person.

Either be openly poly/non-monogamous or don't get into an LTR if you can't handle monogamy.

geyejoe7 · 2021-02-15T22:58:59+00:00

What are everybody's thoughts on plates during an LTR and do yours differ to the sidebar in any way.

Disgusting.

I hope these poor women in these horrible relationships find out and destroy your car or burn your house down.

my_alt_account1312 · 2021-02-15T23:59:57+00:00

If Im in a LTR then that person means something to me.

upalse · 2021-02-15T13:02:12+00:00

Tit-for-tat cheating is one of the strategies to make it work. The whole point is to not raise jealousy stink (it's never a good idea, tbh) whenever she gets a side guy. Just respond in kind once you find out. Some semblance of balance is still in order (ie don't manwhore just because she hooks up with single pool guy). This works because most of jealousy drama boils down to validation more or less traded as a currency on base emotional level, any morality wrt exclusivity/cheating is just moral platitudes.

Jakes1967 · 2021-02-15T14:28:33+00:00

RP'rs, what are your thoughts on spinning plates in an LTR as a male?

Firstly, LTR, unless otherwise agreed upon = monogamy

Secondly, I personally don't agree with dating multiple people at the same time.

When I found out, that the woman I was seeing, was multi-dating, I'd just ghost her and move on.

To those who do and accept it, more power to you.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-02-15T17:20:04+00:00

If you want to spin plates, don’t get into a relationship

If you want a relationship, either talk to her about your desire to continue spinning plates, or just don’t do it

audacious_wirble · 2021-02-15T15:26:25+00:00

This is where it gets dicey for red pillars.

Full honesty is always best for a relationship. No more mr nice guy is a book recommended by rp to help guys get rid of the covert contract mentality. That being said, practicing monogamy goes against rp principles unless you want children and a wife to help raise them.

Poly relationships are also frowned upon because it implies a slutty woman that cannot be trusted, which defeats the purpose of having a committed relationship.

Spinning plates in a ltr just means the guy isn't ready for a real ltr. Guys spin plates to fuck, and it takes a fair amount of time and energy to do.

If in a ltr, the best solution is to join a stingers club. This allows the fucking while leaving the time and emotions at the door. It also has generic rules that can allow a couple to satisfy their physical desires outside their relationship while maintaining a stable foundation of trust in the LTR.

Myself I found the more women I banged.. I was left wanting, which amplified my endless desire to fuck random women. I do not like to share, and my current partner and I fulfill each other physically on a regular basis.

But hey... to each their own. All I know for sure is that spinning plates in a LTR never ends well. Ever.

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-02-15T16:32:07+00:00

Seems immoral and destined to hurt people you love and ruin your reputation

pre-DrChad · 2021-02-15T21:36:15+00:00

If you’re exclusive then that’s just straight up cheating lol

I could never live with the guilt. But if you’re just talking main hoe + side hoes thats cool I guess.

If you want an LTR but also fuck other people you can always ask for an open relationship.

AntWillFortune15 · 2021-02-16T01:10:34+00:00

You have a to be a completely vile person to do this...

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Gravel_Roads · 2021-02-15T17:20:14+00:00

I’m not RP, but I do favor open relationships. I don’t have a problem with my partners banging other people as long as it doesn’t impede on the time I would like my partner to be focused on me, and I tend to be compatible with people who feel the same.

I feel there must be an explicit conversation about it before it happens, tho. And both people have to be okay with it. I’d feel like I was cheating if I was “spinning plates” and my partner didn’t know it wasn’t comfortable with it.

amwfhunter · 2021-02-15T21:05:54+00:00

Honesty is the best policy. I've done all the scenarios you presented before. It is hurtful and deceptive. Now if everyone involved knows, that is a whole different story.

I dont think it is the smartest idea to spin plates in an LTR.

2021-02-16T07:09:44+00:00

Better off being open about it and either having an open relationship (bad idea imo) or see if she’s open to threesomes (better idea because she’s involved), if either of those break up the relationship you get what you want anyway, so it’s winning regardless.

2021-02-16T07:14:15+00:00

I don’t think being a whore is gender specific in 2021. I’m personally not a whore, cheater, plate spinner or monkey brancher so I don’t tolerate it in women that I might date. Those are all red flags that are worthy of being put on display in downtown Beijing.

And no, I don’t speak for all men in this.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-02-16T15:26:47+00:00

I wouldn’t consider myself an “RPer”, but I do think the RedPill gets a lot of things right about attraction/sex.

Unfortunately, it’s my experience that women (no matter how much they deny it) are extremely attracted to a guy that could literally stop fucking her at any moment and give 0 shits. It’s kinda sad, but women think that guys treating them like just another option means that he’s better than her and she’s “dating/fucking up”...

Fortunately, the women that absolutely don’t put up with that bullshit are the best women to be with. If I know she’ll dump me in half a second for being a cheating prick instead of just trying to justify my actions while continuing to bang me, that’s a woman worth keeping.

And no way in hell am I gonna be fucking multiple women if I’m actually interested in one of them. It’s not weak “oneitis”, it’s just putting my time and energy into a long term investment with higher risk/reward.

“Oneitis” should only be used to shame men who are pedestalizing some bitch who plays games and fucks around with multiple dudes while demanding she’s treated like a “KWEEEEEEN”. You should never shame a dude for wanting to be in a healthy LTR with a great lady

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-02-16T21:02:12+00:00

Cheating is not good.

That said, if my relationship is going down, hell yeah I'm spinning

HobbitShaker88 · 2021-02-16T22:11:43+00:00

When I used to date a lot, I would next guys that dated like this.

Needing dating insurance is a sign of weakness and insecurity IMO.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-02-18T04:25:15+00:00

Plates no. To much effort for me. It takes me a solid month of game and average sex with 10-12 woman to find one worth spinning. If my smv was high enough for them to fall on my lap maybe.

infps · 2021-02-20T14:08:03+00:00

Just gradually and jokingly get your girl into the idea of open relationship. If she's not into it and freaks out, you have the benefit of knowing an exit point (which could be more valuable than you realize down the road). If she is indifferent or perhaps positive, let it simmer awhile.

Frankly, you must be willing to reciprocate on this, but a lot of women are more open to open than I think most people think. :)

TLorrai · 2021-02-15T15:08:46+00:00

Pretty sure TRP says that if you're going to commit to an LTR you just commit. To keep your options open but to no longer pursue them. Because otherwise you just don't offer commitment and then keep spinning plates. In the case of losing a girl because she gives you an ultimatum you just walk away. No need to feign exclusivity.

moviecooknl · 2021-02-15T13:51:32+00:00

[deleted]

Pilling_it · 2021-02-16T11:49:23+00:00

Disgusting, and I'm being generous with my words.

LTR for me is monogamous, if I want to spin plates I don't enter it. I reject women based on compatibility and personality as well values, how am I to feel okay with myself if I'm lying to both others and myself about what a LTR is? I can't call that for myself anything else than cheating.

If other men want to justify it, then that's their business, but we'll be 200% in disagreement on what a LTR actually is.

2021-02-16T13:48:46+00:00

spinning plates is the weirdest most narcissistic expression ever

Yharnam_Queen · 2021-02-16T18:32:38+00:00

I don't understand why you'd want to be in a relationship if you want to cheat with multiple people.

Title	RP'rs, what are your thoughts on spinning plates in an LTR as a male?
Author	Artistic_Guest4386
Upvotes	0
Comments	78
Date	February 15, 2021 12:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lkczxt/rprs_what_are_your_thoughts_on_spinning_plates_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/rprs-what-are-your-thoughts-on-spinning-plates-in.742024 https://theredarchive.com/post/742024

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